Servitude
by OneMoreMiracle-Fiction
Summary: Edward is forced and sold into slavery in an attempt to save his brother, but how will he cope with a cruel master and broken hope of rescue. [On hiatus - see chapter 15 for more details!]
1. Part 1: Chapter 1

The warehouse district was too silent for Edward's liking. He knew that the guy he'd been sent after was hiding out in here somewhere but he just couldn't seem to find him. Al was silent, and Ed had to keep checking that his little brother was still there at his side. Ever since getting Al's body back, Ed had tried to keep him away from missions now – it was too easy for him to get hurt, the risks were too high – but Al was stubborn. A family trait Ed thought. A whimper from his left caught his ears, and brought him back from his wandering thoughts. The man he was hunting for Mustang was involved with slavery, and that made Ed feel sick. People weren't property, and the thought that someone, somewhere, was happy to own another person pissed him off. Ed glanced over his shoulder at his brother before heading towards the noise, trying to stay as quiet as possible.

The door to the warehouse was slightly ajar and Ed reached out a metal hand and let out a breath of satisfaction when the door swung open on silent hinges. The building was dark, leaving shapes of boxes that he couldn't quite make out, and Ed moved in silently, hearing the whimper louder this time. Someone was in here with him, and they were crying. He was so focused on finding whoever it was that he didn't check on Al, and was unaware of the brute of a man who came up behind them and grabbed his little brother. The startled gasp made him spin on his heel just as the stranger wrapped a beefy hand around Al's throat. A light was turned on, and Ed blinked at the brightness, before forcing himself to recover.

"Get your hands off of him!" Ed snarled, clapping and bringing his automail blade into existence, but he didn't dare move closer. He had no doubt that the man could easily end his brother's life, and Ed's own fear mirrored his brothers, but he didn't let it show. Footsteps behind made him turn his head, still poised and ready for an attack. His gaze widened at the sight behind him and suddenly he felt very nauseous. Behind him sat six other civilians, their hands bound and each had a metal band around their necks. They varied in age, some were easily in their forties, others were just kids. A redheaded woman of about Ed's age was the one that was crying, and Ed didn't miss the trail of blood that ran down the side of her pretty face. He turned to glare at the owner of the footsteps, a man greying with age with a large scar running down over his left, dead eye.

His snarl was drowned out by his clap which rang out, echoing around the large and mostly empty room. His fingers were mere inches above the ground, his alchemy roaring through him when the sound of a gun's safety clicking off stopped him. He watched the scarred man in front of him point the weapon at Al and Edward's blood ran cold in his veins. He let his alchemy fizzle out to nothing as he stared at the gun fearfully, shuddering at the low laugh that he was met with. The scarred man lowered the gun and moved closer to Ed, throwing a metal collar at him, which hit the ground heavily. "Put that on, State Alchemist, or I'll shot him." The gun was raised again, aiming at Al's chest and Ed tried to swallow around the lump in his throat. He looked up at his little brother and met frightened eyes, but he knew that Al was frightened for Ed and not his own safety. A hand covered his brother's mouth when Al tried to protest. Ed pulled his eyes away and looked down at the metal that lay on the floor by his right hand. Metal clanged on metal as he reached out and picked it up, standing up from his crouch. Their was an array etched into the metal, and suddenly the scarred man's request made sense. If Ed put on his collar then he wouldn't be able to use his alchemy, the array would make sure of that, but if he didn't put it on then these bastards would kill his brother.

"Come on, we don't have all day." The scarred man growled, his finger moving around the trigger. It was all the encouragement that Ed needed as he shot a panicked look at his brother.

"Promise me you won't hurt him!" Ed knew that he was close to begging, and he knew that he wouldn't hesitate if he needed to in order for his brother to get out of this safely. All he got in reply was a nod, and when Ed sensed that he wasn't going to get any more of a reply he sighed, not able to meet Al's terrified gaze as he slipped the collar around his neck. As the two metal ends touched each other a shock ran through him, forcing him to his knees with a cry on pain. It felt like every nerve was on fire and his blurred around the pain as he tried to force himself to not pass out. The pain passed, leaving him panting and sweating from the pain. His hands were splayed out in front of him, mismatched on the concrete floor, and all he could do was whine when strong hands pulled him to his feet.

He saw a woman herding out the civilians and if Ed listened hard enough he was able to hear the rumbling of truck outside. He couldn't watch those people being marched out to their sick fate and he tore his gaze to his brother, knowing in the pit of his stomach that he would be joining them. "Al, get out of here. Go home and stay safe, okay?" Ed said softly, watching as the man holding him let go and moved closer to Ed, grabbing his flesh arm hard enough to bruise. The one who had picked him up held onto his automail, but if Edward was honest, then he didn't know if he had the energy to fight. The shock and pain from his collar had so easily drained him. "I'll be back for you, Al. Just stay safe. Don't do anything stupid."

Al was crying and despite being free of the man that held him he didn't try to move, he was just standing there, shaking his head and it broke Ed's heart to see. He looked so helpless and lost and he knew that this was all his fault. How many times was he going to keep causing his little brother so much pain. "I love you Al. Now go!" Al's cry hitched on his breath and Ed desperated wanted to go to him, to hug him and force him out the building. He wanted to comfort him, he wanted...

The bark of the gun was deafening, and left a ringing in his ears so loud that he didn't hear his scream as he watched Al slump to the ground, blood quickly staining his white top and dripping onto the floor. He was wrong, he did have the energy to fight and Edward struggled against the men that help him, screaming for his brother, ignoring the sting of tears as they slipped past his lashes. It couldn't end like this. He had to get to Al, he couldn't leave his little brother here to die, alone in a dank warehouse. The shock from the collar tore a cry of pain from him as he was lifted up and thrown over a shoulder. He punched his automail fist into the broad back but only got a grunt of discomfort in reply. "Al! Let me go! You bastard, you promised you weren't going to hurt him!" The ringing in his ears had died down now, and he could hear the wretched scrape of his own voice. "Al! Alphonse!" Ed screamed again, sobbing now and doing everything he could to try and get to his brother's side. They shocked him again and his vision blurred around the edges. The last thing he could see before unconsciousness claimed him was his little brother, lying on his side, blood staining the his clothes and pooling beneath him. The blackness took him just as he was thrown into the back of the truck.


	2. Part 1: Chapter 2

**A/N:** Guys I am so sorry, I hadn't realised that I didn't have this story up to date with Archiveofourown. I will correct that shortly so there will be an upload of a couple of chapters. I can't promise how quickly updates will come sadly as I'm currently (hopefully) going to be moving jobs into one that will give me less free time, but its the job of my dreams so everyone keep your fingers crossed.  
P.S. I am super bad of not beta-ing any of my stuff so if you find a mistake or something that doesn't make sense let me know and I can fix it. Otherwise, enjoy!

 **Chapter 2**

The darkness of the world was beginning to fade, turning grey to a blinding white as he opened his eyes with a groan. Shutting them again, Edward tried to focus his mind. The metal collar around his neck was cold and too heavy, and his heart ached with the grief and fear he hadn't dealt with. The pain was like nothing he had ever felt, but it pushed him to open his eyes again and sit up. He was in the back of a truck, all the other soon to be slaves around him, but none met his gaze – all too terrified of their own futures. Ignoring the stiffness in his legs, Ed stood up, his automail hand pressed to the wall of the truck to steady himself against the movement of the vehicle.

The redhead about his age watched him as he moved, but she didn't speak and he met her scared look with a determined one of his own. He wasn't about to just sit back and let these bastards sell these people. Sell him. He needed to get the hell out of here and get back to Al. He had to. His little brother was dying on his own. The thought brought tears to his eyes and Edward hastily pushed the thought away. No, he wasn't going to accept that. Al would be fine. He had to be. Sighing, Edward moved to the doors, ignoring the burning feeling of being watched. He clapped his hands and snarled quietly when his alchemy sparked and then faded. He'd forgotten that the damn collar would do that. Looked like he would have to rely on the old fashioned way of getting the hell of the truck then.

A metal hand had just curled around the latch to the door when the truck stopped slightly, throwing him against the doors with a grunt as he lost his balance. He heard the doors to the cab slam shut, and the quiet crying intensified with fear. Pushing himself to his feet, Edward waited until the doors opened, launching himself into an attack. Automail met the man's face, and when Edward heard the satisfying crunch of his nose he couldn't stop the cruel smirk that graced his face. His success was short lived though. The scarred man – the leader – pulled out a small device and Edward didn't have the chance to wonder what it was before the shock from his collar rung out along his nerves and forced him to his knees, the gravel scrapping skin even through the leather of his trousers.

"You bastard!" Edward growled, but was just met with a laugh that only served to piss him off more. He pushed himself back up onto his feet, never once taking his eyes off the man in front of him. Behind him he heard the cursing of the man with the broken nose, and Edward absently flicked blood off of his automail, twitching his fingers with the need to fight. The woman he had seen herding the captives off before was back, and she was now pulling them out of the truck and shoving them towards the house that the had stopped at.

It wasn't a grand building, and Edward was sure that Central didn't have any building so neglected. A hand wrapped around his flesh arm tight enough to bruise and he was pulled towards the building. He snapped and snarled, fighting them every step of the way and only stopped when the redhead girl was grabbed and a gun forced against her head. "Now, you will come along quickly and without any more fuss or I'll make sure that you are cleaning up her brains from the ground." The scarred leader threatened, and while Ed hated giving in to them, he couldn't fight them knowing that it would hurt an innocent.

"Fine, but she doesn't need to get hurt." Ed muttered darkly, glaring at the ground. He knew that if he saw the smug look on that bastard's face then he would go straight back to fighting. A humorous laugh made him cringe and he curled his hands into his fights, reluctantly letting himself be dragged into the old house, the redheaded girl at his side.

"Hero of the people, indeed." The leader laughed, slamming the door shut behind them.

* * *

Edward glared down at the outfit that they had forced him to wear. It was all pure white, spotless and he was threatened with a world of pain if he dirtied the white slacks and vest. He was tempted to just to piss them off, but the lingering threat to the others made him pause. There was no point. Tears stung his eyes and he closed them tightly. His heart ached with fear for Al. Was his brother even still alive? Would Ed ever see him again? Those bastards had torn his family apart after he just got Al's body back. Fucking typical that Ed would get Al shot on his first mission since pulling his body back from the gate. He was such an awful brother. Opening his eyes again, Ed caught sight of his reflection in the grimy mirror. His hair had been washed and left down, gold cascading over his white clad shoulders; he didn't look like himself. Good. If he was about to be forced into slavery he didn't want to look like himself.

The door opening behind him made him turn to see the redhead girl coming in. She was in a white dress and her long red hair was also hanging loose, wide curls bouncing as she walked up to him. Her eyes were lined with black kohl and were lightly red and puffy from crying. She swallowed and met his eyes, offering him a small smile that looked too forced to Ed. "Its time." She said turning and heading back out the door, waiting just outside the room for Ed to follow her.

He did so silently, following her out of the room and down the stairs. "What's your name?" He asked her suddenly, and she paused in where she was going to look at him over her shoulder.

"Cara." She said after a moment. "Cara Davies."

"I'm Ed."

"I know. You're the youngest state alchemist."

Edward watched as Cara turned away and continued to follow her silently. He was the youngest state alchemist, and he was forced into this situation. It was pathetic, and he could understand why the others looked at him so sadly. He was meant to be freeing them, returning them to their homes, and here he was, being sold alongside them. He should have called Mustang for backup. He just knew it would have taken too long and he could have lost his lead on the slavers, but this wasn't worth it. Being sold into slavery, not knowing if his brother was dead or not. His flesh fingers went to the collar around his neck as he caught sight of the one wrapped around Cara's neck.

She led him outside into the evening air and towards a large tent that had been set up in the grounds of the house. His heart was racing and suddenly he was wondering if he could just run, get the hell of there before anything else could happen. Before he could even act upon the impulse a firm hand was pressed to his back and he turned around to face the slaver who's nose he'd broken. It was swollen and his eyes had both bruised nicely. It filled him with a vindictive happiness and he smirked. The other man growled at him and shoved him into the tent. The air was thick with tension and the quiet mumblings stopped as he stumbled in, and he sensed rather than saw Cara move a little closer to him.

The tent was filled with the other slaves, and a bunch of people in suits who were poking at the slaves; inspecting them. Edward felt sick with anger and fear and he curled his hands into fists at his sides. How could people think that this shit was okay? How could they not care that they were people?

"Now that is a fine specimen." A male voice reached Ed's ears and he turned to face the other man with a snarl. He was blonde, and clearly looked after himself. His hair was well groomed and styled, and his model-like face was attractive enough to make Ed stop in his hatred for a moment, lost in those blue eyes. He was very attractive, and Ed had the odd urge to reach out and stroke the stranger's high cheekbones.

"Ah yes, he just arrived today." The slave leader said, appearing at the other man's side – his voice pulling Ed back into reality, "Please, feel free." He said, gesturing out to Ed who took a step back with a glare.

"Touch me and I'll break your arm." He snarled, his flesh hand aching from the fist it was tightly clenched in. The attractive man just laughed and moved closer to Edward.

"There's a fire in you. I like that." His voice almost purred at Ed, and the young man had to swallow back the taste of bile in his mouth at the lecherous look in the other man's eyes. "I'll take him."

"Like hell you will!" Ed snarled, dropping into a fighting stance. He'd kick the ass of anyone that thought he was going to be sold off like a prized trophy. He felt Cara move a little closer to him in her fear, and her movement caught the eye of the model-like man. He smiled charmingly at her, and Ed had no doubt that she would have swooned – hell he would have swooned – if it wasn't for the fact that he expressed his wish to buy Edward. The thought made him feel sick, and before he could think he moved in front of her, shielding her from the other man. He may be collared but like fuck was he going to go down without a fight. He was still on a mission. He had to protect these people.

A scream from the other side of the tent tore through the air, and Edward turned to see one of the potential slavers clutching at their face, blood pouring out from between his fingers. He would have been attractive too, and Edward briefly wondered why all of these people were stunningly good looking and high class. The slave that was previously being inspected by the now bleeding slaver got a swift smack across of the face, making him stumble and suddenly the scarred leader was moving to the scene, forgetting about trying to sell Edward in favour of trying to calm his guests.

"That bastard. He gouged my fucking eye out! What kind of savages have you offered us?" The bleeding slaver was screaming, waving his free hand around wildly and Edward wanted to stay and gloat in his pain, but he saw an opportunity. With everyone distracted, he silently turned and grabbed Cara's arm and pulled her out of the tent. He went out first to check that was clear, but kept her close behind him.

He had almost gotten to the gate of the garden before he felt a hand roughly grab his arm, twisting it behind him painfully and forcing him face first into the stone wall of the abandoned building. He heard the girl gasp, but it was a faint sound and the least of his problems as a body pushed up against his back, tugging on his arm and making him groan as it pulled painfully at his shoulders. Breath tickled his skin at the back of his neck and his heart was pounding as fear surged through him. "You're not going anywhere until I've bought you, slave." The voice was smooth – like caramel - and Ed knew that it was the model-like slaver. Anger replaced his fear and he thrashed against the man, trying to free himself enough to fight. If he could just get his automail to connect he had no doubts that he could kick the shit out of this creep.

A kiss on the sensitive skin behind his ear made him shudder, all thoughts of fighting vanishing as he tried to fight the sickness that came with his fear. He'd rather have gotten punched than have that gentle and almost chaste kiss. Shutting his eyes, Edward tried to focus on not panicking, but his breathing was erratic and he knew that he wasn't in control.

The shock through him from the collar was so sudden that he cried out in pain and opened his eyes and slumped against the wall, jerking away from the man holding him because of the pain from the shock and whimpering softly at the agony now in his arm. He could hear Cara crying now, and his shame was like a thick, black rain cloud. They had been so close to getting the hell out of there. So damn close.

"How much for them both?" He heard the man that held him ask, and felt his stomach sink as he shut his eyes again.

"Oh, he is rather pricey. He's a state alchemist, you see?" The slaver spoke, his excitement at the idea of selling them and making a pretty profit was clear.

"Money isn't an issue. I'll take them both. I like this one's fight and fire, I want to see how long he lasts. As for her, I need someone to tend to the house." Edward felt his arm get released and resisted the urge to groan as he turned to face the slaver and the man trying to buy him with a glare. Cara was still crying and Edward looked to her, wishing that he could help them both.

"Please, come with me and we'll sort out the details." The lead slaver said, smirking at Edward, before nodding to the female slaver at his side and leading the model-like man away. Edward turned his gaze onto the woman, ready for a fight until the second forced him to his knees and he curled his fingers into the grass, getting mud under his nails as a pained growl slipped past his lips. He looked up just in time to see the woman pull back a punch and darkness took him as it connected with the side of his head.


	3. Part 1: Chapter 3

**A/N:** Again this chapter isn't beta'd so if there is any issues, do let me know :) Any feedback is wonderful and appreciated.

 **Chapter 3**

Roy Mustang didn't think that there was any more guilt that he would be able to feel. Not after his guilt about Ishval and not after the guilt he had about talking Edward Elric into joining the military at the tender age of 12. There just simply wasn't any more room for any extra guilt. So he thought, anyway, but as he stood staring at the pool of dark red blood that they had found Alphonse Elric lying in, Roy knew how blissfully naïve he had been.

Roy had gotten the call from Edward the hour before and had gathered his team and moved to meet the Elrics at the warehouse that Ed had told him about the moment that the blonde was off the phone to him. As it turned out though, Edward hadn't waited for them to provide backup, and Roy wasn't surprised at that knowledge, but he was regretful of it. As Hawkeye and Havoc first moved in, Roy had seen that the warehouse was empty, and the disappointment that they had lost their lead on the slavers was strong, but it passed quickly into fear as his eyes scanned the room, spotting the blonde lying on his side, his hand pressed to the blood soaked top that clung to his skin. The blood of blood shined beneath him as it slowly stained his clothes and dried into dark brown clumps in his short blonde hair, tainting the colour.

Roy had moved to him without hesitation, leaving his team to secure the area and look for any other survivors, or the ones that had done this. He had numbly pulled his gloves off and stuffed them into his military coat pocket. His fingers trembled with fear as he reached out to feel at Al's neck, silently begging to a deity that he didn't believe in that the youngest Elric wasn't dead. Holding his breath, Roy shut his eyes as he waited, silently noting how cold and clammy Al's skin had been. Finally he found a pulse, and he let out the breath that he'd been holding. A pulse, faint and beating rapidly as Al's body tried to forced body around his system, but it was a pulse that meant that he was still alive.

He had sent Havoc and Fuery to the hospital with Al, praying that they would be able to stabilize Alphonse. Roy didn't remember hearing for anyone to call for an ambulance, but someone must have as it showed up sooner rather than later and bundled the teen into the back of it. Distractedly, Roy knew that Al had all the symptoms of blood loss, he was going into hypovolemic shock. Hopefully it wasn't too late to fix, the hospital would pump fluids into him through an intravenous line. They could give him blood transfusions. The hospital could save him, and hopefully it wasn't too late for his organs. Roy didn't know how long that Alphonse had been there, but he knew of some of the side effects from blood loss, and knew that while Al might survive the initial wound and shock, the loss of blood could do permanent damage to his organs as they were cut off.

Rubbing a hand over his face, Roy took in a deep breathe through his nose, and let it out as sigh before looking around the warehouse for anything to lead them to Edward. He knew that there was no way that Edward would have let his brother chase a slaver down on his own; in fact, he suspected that Ed would have tried to get Al to stay at home. The eldest brother had been even more protective of Al since they had gotten his body back, so Mustang didn't doubt that Ed would have been at his brother's side here. He also knew that nothing short of being bodily removed from the area would have kept Edward from being here at Al's side, getting him the lifesaving help that he so urgently needed. These thoughts sat like a lead weight on Roy's stomach and he had to fight back the sick feeling that was clawing at him.

"Breda, Falman, search around the perimeter. Look for any signs of a struggle. Fullmetal would not have left here willingly." Roy commanded, forcing back his guilt and fear. He watched as the two soldiers moved from the building and turned to Hawkeye who stood silently at his side, pistol in her hand, ready to be raised at the first sign of threat. To the outside eye, she looked calm, but Roy had known her for years, and he could see the worry behind her eyes. "Captain?" Roy said softly, getting her attention away from the pool of blood and making her look at him. "What do we know of the case so far?"

She snapped back into her normal, professional self and took a deep breath. "Not much, sir. We know that there are a total of twenty civilians recorded as missing from Central, but so far we can't find anything to link them to each other. They all vary in age, gender and health. Children as young as six are missing." Hawkeye told him, disgust clear on her face. He understood her disgust, the thought of someone selling people as slaves was horrific enough, but to add children into that was beyond words. "There has been no information about them since, and there has been no bodies, sir. Edward managed to track them to this warehouse, but he was vague about his methods." Roy nodded when she finished speaking and rubbed at his temple. He was beginning to get a headache.

"Sir?" Roy turned to see Breda standing at attention next to him, a hasty salute and a worried look on his face. "There are tyre marks in the dirt out the back of the warehouse. We found an office in the back but its locked." Breda pointed to where the office was just as the sound of cars pulled up outside. Falman poked his head out to see what was going on, and then looked back at Roy.

"Civilian police, sir."

"Damn. Trust them to show up now. Breda, Hawkeye, stall them. Falman, come with me. We're getting that footage." Roy ordered, watching his men salute and move off. He waited until Hawkeye and Breda were outside before moving to the office door. Pulling his gloves back on, Roy kind of wished that Havoc was still here, the man would have easily been able to pick the lock. As it was though, Roy didn't have the skill or the time to be picking locks. Silently he felt Falman stand back as he raised his fingers to snap. He needed to find Ed so this office better have footage of that truck. Edward wasn't dead, and neither was Alphonse. It was what he told himself, and he was going to keep telling himself that until he had proof otherwise.

* * *

Edward woke up in yet a different room, his vision was blurry as he blinked up at the white ceiling above him. His head was pounding, and a thick veil of confusion lay over his mind, leaving his thoughts sluggish and disjointed. He couldn't remember where he was; did he even know this place? The last thing he remembered was trying to escape with Cara, but then everything was black, and he was so tired. Shutting his eyes again, Edward tried to think. What the hell had happened? Where was he? The sound of the door opening quietly broke into his thoughts and he slowly blinked his eyes open again. His vision was still blurry, but he watched as the stranger came up to him. A boy. He must have only been about ten years old, his dark brown hair sticking up at odd angles in its uncared for fashion. His clothes were old and worn and if Edward hadn't been lying on arguably one of the comfiest beds he'd ever had the pleasure to lie on, he would have assumed that the boy in front of him was homeless from his appearance.

"You're awake!" The boy said, offering Ed a small smile, "You've been sleeping for so long. Master must have hit you pretty 'ard." The boy put down the glass of water that he was carrying and grinned a toothy grin at a very confused Edward. "I'm Simon. Is it true that you are the Fullmetal Alchemist? The hero of the people? Aren't you the short Alchemist that helped to save Central?"

Edward groaned at all the questions and the excited look that Simon was giving him, closing his eyes again. He didn't even have the energy to kick up about being short; but he had grown since then. He was 20 now so of course he wasn't going to stay short forever, although Al was still taller than him, despite his body being hidden away with the gate for years. The thought of his brother brought tears to his eyes and Ed swallowed past the lump that had formed in him throat. "Where the hell am I?" He asked, his voice rough from how dry his mouth was feeling and Edward tried to wet it with saliva. He opened his eyes again, his gaze lingering on the glass of water long enough that Simon moved to help him sit up before giving him the glass. Edward gulped at it happily, listening at the boy spoke again.

"You're at home. Master Jones brought you and Cara back yesterday but you've been sleeping since. Cara was upset for ages, but Master has her helping me with the cooking and cleaning. She's really nice." Simon explained, bowing his head and picking at his nails anxiously. "She was worried about you, said that you were hurt, and that Master really likes you. He's not nice when he's in a bad mood, so I'm glad that you are okay." Simon said, grinning again. "I better go let him know."

Edward watched the boy dart out of the room, closing the door behind him with a heavy feeling of dread. He'd been hurt. Yeah he could remember that now, the shock that burned and ached through every muscle, the blow to the head that let the darkness in. He had a concussion then. Brilliant. Edward gulped down the last of the water before putting it down on the end table next to the bed and moved to the edge of the mattress, pushing himself up onto his feet. He needed to get out of here, but he still didn't know where here was. Moving to the window, Edward looked out into a massive garden, with water features and pristinely cared for flower beds. The garden screamed rich and pretentious and Edward instantly understood why money hadn't been an issue when this Jones guy had bought him. Scowling at the garden, Edward tried to open the window, growling lowly when he discovered that it was locked with no obvious key lying around. Footsteps stopped him in the thought process of just breaking the window and he turned to glare at his captor in the doorway, watching as he shut it in Simon's face.

"How nice of you to finally wake, my golden star. How about we get to know each other a little better? I'm Hal Jones, Master Jones to you," the man said, smirking smugly and moving in on Ed like a predator toying with its prey. He reached out and tucked a strand of golden hair behind Edward's ear, ignoring the sneer from the young man. "At least until we're better acquainted, then my love, you can call me what you want." The smile on the older man's face was enough to turn Edward's stomach with disgust and fear.

* * *

Kain Fuery chewed on his bottom lip, tapping his foot impatiently on the floor as he watched Havoc pace back and forth outside the doors to surgery. They had followed Al and the ambulance to the hospital but the doctors had rushed Al past those double doors and a nurse had firmly told them that they couldn't follow him. Havoc had wanted to argue it, but Kain had took his shoulder and quietly told him that there was nothing either of them could do; that Al was in the best place and the doctors were doing all that they could to save him. Kain hadn't seen an exit wound on Al, so he knew that he needed surgery to get the bullet out of him, and to close the wound to stop any more blood loss.

His mind kept going back to that scene that they had walked in on, and his restlessness was getting the better of him. Al had been in surgery for just over an hour now, and he was close to following Havoc's example and begin pacing. The thought that the teen would die was a heavy dread and Fuery didn't even want to consider what could have happened to Edward. Slavery was something that he just couldn't get his head around, and he knew that he didn't know all the details about the case, he didn't need to know and the General tended to work on a need to know basis. It meant that there was less danger for anyone else if they didn't know anything that they didn't need to, it kept them safer.

Havoc cursed under his breath, and Kain looked back up at the pacing and agitated man. Havoc was glaring at the doors to surgery, an unlit cigarette hanging from his lips and his hands tapping against his legs in worry. "You can go out and smoke." Kain said after a moment, getting Havoc's attention. "I'll stay here and wait for any news. I was going to phone the office and see if the General was back there to give him an update anyway, so you can do that on the way for me?" Fuery asked when Havoc looked like he was about to refuse. Sighing he nodded, grumbling to himself even as he left Kain to his thoughts.

It wasn't far to the phones, but Jean walked past them. He needed a smoke before he could call Mustang's office. Fuck! What happened? Where the hell was Ed? He felt sick at the memories of Al bleeding out like that, but to know that Edward was gone too was enough to push him over the edge. This was all Mustang's fault, and yet he was pissed at Ed too. Damned kid should have waited for backup. Pushing his way out the main doors, Havoc had his lighter in his hand before the cool night air brushed past his skin. He didn't even notice it get dark. Sighing, he lit his cigarette, leaning back against the wall of the hospital and taking a long drag. Closing his eyes as he felt the nicotine flow into his system. It wasn't enough to stop his worry, and he knew that he'd have to have a good few before he could even begin to pretend to be something like calm, but it was enough that he felt like he could breathe again. A mirthless chuckle left him at that as he took another drag on the cigarette. The thing that coated his lungs in chemicals was the same thing that helped to ease the tightness of fear and concern in his chest.

Havoc quickly finished his first cigarette, and paused for a moment before lighting a second. He wanted to rush back in and wait for news on Al, but he knew that if anything had changed in the five minutes he'd been gone, Fuery would have gotten him. With a sigh and a shake of his head, Jean pulled out and lit a second cigarette. He would smoke this one and then he would go back inside and call the office. He just hoped that the General would have some better news for him that he did for Mustang; no news is good news though, and in this case, Havoc could understand that. No news meant that Al hadn't died on the operating table. No news meant that they wouldn't have to tell Edward that his brother died when he was missing. Jean didn't think he could stand to watch Ed have that news told to him, there was no doubt that the young alchemist would break apart at that. With these thoughts in his mind, Havoc finished his second cigarette and moved back into the hospital. He'd call Mustang, and then return to Kain to wait for what they all hoped was going to be good news.


	4. Part 1: Chapter 4

**C** **hapter 4**

Cara flinched as another scream seeped out into the study she was in, and blinked back the scared tears. She was safe for the moment, but she had no idea how long that was going to last. The boy she'd been introduced to, Simon, seemed to be happy enough here, and Cara had learned that he didn't know any better. His mother had been a slave to her now owner, and had died when he was just a toddler. Simon had been born into this life, and while she had no evidence, Cara would bet that his mother hadn't planned or even been willing in his conception. Having been given the chores of keeping the grand house they were in clean, and making them food, Cara had been left alone, and hadn't seen Edward once in the day that they had been here. Simon had been telling her how he was, and when he came running down a few hours ago, excited that the alchemist was awake, she wanted nothing more to go see him.

Hal had moved into the room the moment Simon had gotten him, and had been in there for some time, until the raised voices rung out into the room that Cara was cleaning not far away. The fear from the stint of unconsciousness Edward had had was fast in returning and she wanted to go and try to calm both the men, but she had no doubt that she would probably make it worse, and in all honesty, she was a coward. Tears in her eyes, she tried to ignore the shouting, and the smash of a glass as she continued to clean the study. A tug at her sleeve got her attention, and turning, she saw Simon, frightened and small at her side with watery eyes. She wrapped him up into a hug just as a sob escaped his lips.

"I don't like it when he's angry." The boy mumbled miserably into Cara's shoulder, "He's cruel when he's mad, and I'm frightened. I think he likes the Fullmetal Alchemist the same way he liked my mum." Simon mumbled, and he didn't need to say more to confirm Cara's suspicions on Simon's mother's relationship with their master. "He's going to hurt him." The boy sobbed and all she could do was hug him closer because she knew that he was right. She'd seen the way that man had looked at Edward, and it made her skin crawl. She had an idea of what her master wanted with Edward and the thought was so awful she would rather push it from her mind completely. She mumbled quiet assurances to Simon, trying to calm both their fears as the shouting in the other room grew louder. The sudden slam of a door made her jump, and she pulled away from the child in front of her, moving protectively in front of him just as Hal stormed into the room.

Lowering her gaze to his feet, too scared to meet his eyes, Cara swallowed past the lump in her throat. Her heart was thundering in her chest but from fear or anger she wasn't sure. "Master..." She greeted softly, hoping to avoid any of his wrath. He stomped past her and grabbed Simon, shoving him to the door.

"Basement now, get my stuff." Hal ordered before roughly grabbing Cara's arm and pulling her out of the room with enough force to make her stumble. She didn't have time to question it before he tossed her into Edward's room, leaving her to land in a heap at the blonde's feet. Whimpering, she managed to look up and flinched at the weight of Edward's glare, even though she knew that it wasn't at her. There was a trail of blood down the side of Ed's bottom lip where it had been split open, and there was glittering shards of glass lying at the base of the opposite wall where it had been thrown. Cara got to her feet, turning her fearful gaze to Hal, who glared back with enough hatred that she wanted nothing more than to hide away from it.

"Now, Edward, I will offer you two choices." Hal snarled, stepping closer to them both. "I will take Cara downstairs and she will pay for your insolence-" Edward visibly tensed at that - "or, you can come with me and accept your own punishment until you learn to have some manners towards your master."

"Go fuck yourself. You're not my master." Edward snapped, his voice harsh and loud next to Cara, but his bravado faltered when Hal grabbed Cara again, causing her to lose control over her tears. They had just gotten to the door before Ed spoke again. "Wait..." A sigh. "Fine, I'll come with you, just leave her out of this." Cara looked up as Hal let go of her, as Edward walked over to them, and all that did was make her cry more. She had no idea what Edward had done – or hadn't done – that had angered Hal so much, but she was scared for him. What did he mean when he told Simon to get his stuff? What stuff? What was in the basement? Hal offered Edward a cruel smirk and Cara instantly wanted to take whatever punishment was waiting downstairs, but Edward was already moving past her. She reached out, her fingers brushing his flesh wrist.

"Edward..." Her voice was soft, scared and full of sorrow. She didn't get to finish - to thank him, to apologise, to say whatever it was that she was hoping to say to make this situation better – because at that point Hal had pulled Ed from the room and nodded to the shards of glass.

"Be a dear and clean that mess up will you?" He said with what could have been a charming smile before he disappeared with Ed. Her legs gave out then, and she slumped to the ground, covering her face with her hands as she cried.

* * *

Mustang rubbed his face for what felt like the hundredth time that hour. He'd set his men up in a rota to guard Alphonse's hospital room, taking it in shifts to make sure that the moment he woke up he wasn't alone. If he woke up. Sighing again, Roy glared down at the notes in front of him. They had managed to get footage of the truck that had taken the people away from the warehouse, and Roy had watched it countless times now to try and find anything to help him find the damn thing. Six people, six innocent civilians had been marched into the back of that truck, each wearing a metal collar and Roy had sat in silent dread until a brute of a man walked into shot of the camera, Edward slung carelessly over his shoulder. Ed was struggling, that much was obvious, and Roy suddenly realised that Fullmetal must have been there when Al had been shot and the realisation made him feel sick suddenly. As he watched the footage, it was clear that Edward was losing a battle with consciousness and when his limp body was thrown into the truck without much care, Roy knew that Edward had lost that particular fight.

Other than that, the footage didn't give him much to go on. The plates had been removed so there was no way of checking where the truck was registered and there had been no sign of any of the missing civilians. These slavers weren't amateurs, they knew how to cover their tracks and that was what worried Roy the most. He knew he needed to find Edward. Heaven knows what would happen to someone like Ed with a collar round his neck. The young man didn't take orders, and Roy had no doubt that people would want the remarkable alchemist as their own. He was skilled and strong, a good trophy to anyone wanting to get back at the military, but he was also beautiful, remarkable in his appearance as much as his intelligence, and Roy had no doubts about how sick some people could be towards another.

A mug of rich, black coffee appeared by his elbow and he looked up to see Hawkeye watching him carefully. Mustang offered her a nod of thanks before taking a gulp of the steaming liquid, his eyes never leaving his notes for long. "Anything from the police, Captain?" He asked, looking up at her from the papers in front of him as she sat down opposite him.

"Not much, sir." Riza said after taking a drink of her own coffee. She was tired, that was clear from the slightly distant look in her eyes, and the few stray strands of blonde hair – but not as golden as Ed's – that were falling from its clasp. "There had been sightings of truck that match the one from the footage. It had been seen leaving Central City, heading West, but there has been no other reports outwith Central. It either didn't get as far as the next town, or nobody there thought it was worth acknowledging."

Roy sighed again, rubbed his face again and then stood. This was pointless, they were getting nowhere with this and somewhere out there Ed was in more and more danger. He needed to move, suddenly the walls felt too close, the air too thick to draw breath and Roy shut his eyes and tried to calm himself. He felt, rather than heard, Hawkeye move to him, her hand taking his elbow in its grasp. It helped to steady him, helped push back the helpless panic a little and he turned to meet her worried gaze.

"Sir," She paused, watching him like he was cornered animal, as if he was about to snap and attack. "Perhaps you should go home, get some rest..." He was shaking his head before she could finish and she trailed off. "Sir?"

"I can't go home. As if I'll be able to rest when he's out there Riza." Roy said, rubbing a shaky hand over his eyes. "Damnit I thought they would be safer now without their search for their bodies back. I thought this mission wasn't going to cause so many problems. Ed should have been able to handle it, but all we have is a missing State Alchemist and his critically injured brother." Roy moved to the window, looking out at the parade grounds of Central Command. The ground was dry for now, but thick, black clouds hoovered threatening just above them, blotting out the sun and leaving the world looking miserable and grey. "I can't rest until I know that he's safe." Roy mumbled out at the clouds, blinking back the tears that threatened his eyes.

"Roy, this isn't your fault." Riza offered him after a moment. She hadn't moved closer, just stood where she had been when she had taken his elbow. "Edward is more than capable. None of us thought that this could of happened." She hated seeing her friend like this. They were all worried, Al and Ed had become a part of the team years ago, and while they were children everyone tried to protect them from the harsher elements of the military. Helped them to be able to focus of getting their bodies back, but they weren't children now and with Edward still part of the military, there was only so much that Roy – or any of them – could do to limit how much of the darkness touched him. So it was only natural that they were all worried sick about the Elrics, but Riza knew that Roy's concern went deeper than that.

She had seen the way that her oldest friend had looked at Edward lately, had known – without Roy saying a word – that he wasn't blind to the attract young man Edward had grown into. She had never cared about Roy's sexual interests after they had tried themselves. It had worked for a while, it had been wonderful, but it didn't last. They just didn't fit together, but Riza had noticed that the jigsaw pieces that were Roy and Ed had very similar shapes. She knew that they both felt the same, but were oblivious to each other. She'd watched as Roy's gaze lingered on the blonde, or how Edward's eyes darkened with something hotter than anger after an argument. Roy knew the risks, of that Riza was sure, but she had never cared about the talk of the public, she just wanted her friends to be happy.

"I should have been there." Roy's softly spoken words broke through her thoughts and she looked at him sadly. Of course he would blame himself. "I should have been there to back them up. I shouldn't have sent them on this mission."

"Roy, I know as well as you do that we got there as soon as we could have. Nobody could have anticipated that it would be over when we got there. Edward and Alphonse are adults and they choose not to wait for backup, there is nothing that you could have done. Edward was best suited for this mission and we both know it. You can't give him preferential treatment." Roy spun to look at her, eyes wide in fear and confusion at the implication to her words and she just smiled at him. "For people with intelligence like you and Edward, you are both so dumb sometimes, sir." She told him, laughing softly at the objective grunt from him. "I see the way that you look at him, Roy. He had certainly come into his own, hasn't he?"

Roy watched Hawkeye in silence. Had he been that obvious? Did everyone know that he silently longed for Edward; that his gaze lingered a moment too long on the blonde; that he would purposely rile Edward up just to relish the spark in him? "I..." He stopped, shutting his mouth with a frown as he turned back to the window. What the hell was he meant to say to that? He couldn't deny it.

"Don't worry sir, its not obvious. I just know you too well." Riza offered him a sad smile. "We will find him, we'll work through this, but to do that we all need to be at our best. Roy, go home and get some rest before you make yourself sick. I'll drive you home, I need to head to the hospital to relive Breda anyway."

* * *

The screaming from the basement had stopped about half an hour ago, Cara noted. Hal had been down there with Edward for a few hours now, and she glanced at the door that led down sadly before turning back the stove. She was preparing dinner on her own this evening. Simon had vanished after Edward was taken, and she had looked for him for a while before giving up. He probably needed to be alone, she would be there for him when he surfaced again. Absently, she rubbed at the collar round her neck, stirring the pot just as the door to her back opened. She glanced over her shoulder to see Hal coming up from the basement, wiping at a splash of blood on his hand.

"Ah, good you're here. Once dinner is done I need you to go down there and clean him up. I'll leave the medical supplies out." Hal said to her, his voice perfectly pleasant, giving no indication that he had just spent hours torturing someone. He moved to her with a smile, looking into the pot. "It smells amazing. Where's Simon?"

Cara turned her gaze back to the pot. How could he be so calm? How badly hurt was Edward? She wanted to go to him now, to help him, but she knew better than to walk away without finishing dinner. If Simon was here, he could have continued cooking while she saw to Ed. "I'm not sure, Master. I haven't seen him since... since you and Edward went downstairs." She said quietly.

"Hmm... Yes he does hate it when I'm angry. He'll surface soon." Hal said, offering her what should have been a charming smile. "I'm sorry if I frightened you before, or if I hurt you. He just... riled me up. Once he learns to behave I'm sure we can all live happily together." Hal kissed the top of her head and then walked out the room, leaving her to her concern and to the meal she was cooking.


	5. Part 1: Chapter 5

**A/N: Warnings for this chapter: Mild implied torture, sexual threat.**

 **Chapter 5**

Edward wasn't aware of when he woke up again, the only thing that flooded his mind was the pain, it roared through his aching muscles, it burned at the lacerations on his skin, it ached in the emptiness of his stomach and he found himself wishing for the blank, painless oblivion that he had just woken up from. His hands were tied together so tightly that his flesh fingers where tingling with the lack of blood that flowed to them, and where hooked onto the metal beam that had been attached to the basement roof. He tried to pull on it, in the hopes of at least letting his arms fall down so they would stop pulling at the tired, burning muscles in his shoulders, but the beam and his restraints were too strong from him to even make them budge a little. Licking his dry, broken lip made Edward wince a little as he slowly took in his prison for what must have been the second dozen time. The basement was mostly empty, other than the beam and himself forced to stand in the middle of the floor with his arms above his head, there was a table at the far end of the room; on it lay Hal's tools. Edward shuddered at the sight of them. Some still had his own blood on the steel, dulling its colour in a darking shade of reddish-brown. A coiled whip hung on a hook in the wall by the table and Edward couldn't bare to look at it, fearing that the sight of the blasted thing would bring back the memories of the sharp and unusually loud snap of the whip, followed by blinding pain as the leather connected with his bare back, ripping skin.

He was faintly aware of voices and looked up at the door to the rest of the house. They were too quiet and too muffled to make out. Hearing them, and the uncertainty that came with not knowing for sure who they belonged to made him panic, and suddenly his own heartbeat was loud in his ears and his mouth was so dry he couldn't swallow. Was this going to be the rest of his life? Beaten and abused, scared of the slightest noise? Edward closed his eyes tightly and shook his head. No. He was stronger than this bullshit. He had dealt with worse and lived to talk about it. He had lost limbs for his family, for Al. Hell was Al okay? What if his brother was dead? Edward knew that Mustang knew where they were, had wanted them to wait for backup, surely that meant him and his team would have went to the warehouse and found Al? What if they didn't though? What if it was too late and Al's life had seeped out of his body to stain the concrete beneath him. Helpless tears stung at his eyes and he pulled roughly at the restraints again, growling in pain and anger when nothing moved and his shoulders screamed their protests. Fuck. He was royally screwed wasn't he? Helpless with out alchemy, lacking enough fluid that his head pounded behind his eyes and his stomach churning away, begging for something to fill it. When had he last eaten? Yesterday? The day before? He wasn't even fully aware of how long it had been now, what with his dips into unconsciousness. That couldn't be healthy for him either.

The door opening pulled him from his thoughts, and Edward didn't want to risk looking up, he wasn't sure how well he could keep the apprehension from his face. There were two pairs of footsteps that stopped at the bottom of the stairs and he heard a quiet feminine gasp. Cara then, but who was with her? Edward didn't have to wait too long to find out that the other set of footsteps belonged to Simon, who stepped into his line of sight and looked up at him with puffy, bloodshot eyes.

"I'm so sorry!" Simon whimpered, clearing fighting back more tears and Edward pulled his gaze away. He wanted to comfort him, to be strong for him, but how could he? Beaten and bloody and chained to the fucking ceiling as he was?

"Simon, you know that this is not your fault. Now, do as Master wanted. I'll see to Edward." Cara said softly, moving to Edward and entering his line of sight too. She placed a bag by his feet and then reached up to untie him. While she did this, Edward watched as the young boy wandered over to the table of tools and began to pack them all up, before he loaded them into a bag and then headed back up the stairs, closing the door over and leaving Cara and Edward alone for the first time since before they had been sold.

"It scares me to think what that poor child has seen." Cara said as she finally managed to undo the rope around Edward's wrists. She caught him as he stumbled and helped ease him down to the ground, mumbling apologies to him as he hissed in pain from the wounds on his back. Now that his arms were free, his shoulders burned with a renewed anger, and Edward found himself once again silently begging for unconsciousness to ease the pain. "I hate this. I should have done something, Edward. I'm so sorry. I could have tried to stop this."

"Don't..." Edward said, his voice rough and scratchy from dehydration and screaming. "You don't need to apologise, this isn't your fault. We both know that it would be you here if you had tried to stop him. He's a sick bastard." His growl didn't hold back his disgust and hatred as his mind flashed back the conversation that started this sick and twisted 'punishment'. He shook his head and looked up at Cara, offering what he hoped was a reassuring smile, but was in reality probably more of a grimace. She smiled back sadly at him regardless though.

"I was scared. I'm sorry."

Edward just nodded. He didn't blame her, couldn't blame her. Hell she didn't even know him, there was no reason that she had to suffer for him. He'd been through so much shit, he could a beating. He pissed the guy, Cara shouldn't have to be hurt because of that. He also understood her fear. It had been a while since Edward had felt scared of someone, violence didn't scare him, not really. He was a good fighter, and was confident in his skills, but Hal... Hal wasn't wanting to just beat Edward. He wanted Edward, and the thought made bile rise up in his throat. Edward hadn't ever really considered sex, not really. He was too focused on Al when he was growing up, and while he had gotten drunk and lost his virginity a few years ago now, Edward knew that it was a clumsy one night thing. Something that he didn't care all that much about now.

He knew that he shouldn't find other men attractive, hadn't even told his brother because of his shame about it, but did Hal somehow see through all that to the dirty little secret he kept hidden? Was that why he had tried it on when Ed only a matter of hours ago? Or mock him? To force him to face his shame again? Edward closed his eyes, sighing. If some stranger could see it, who else could? What if that wasn't the case? What if Hal felt the same about men as Ed did? Was he taking his own shame out on Edward now, beating him because he had refused to spread his legs for the man that had bought him?

"Edward?" Cara said again, placing a hand on his shoulder to try and get his attention. Ed shook his head a little to try and clear it of thoughts and mumbled an apology to the girl who only offered him a smile in return. She explained that she was going to clean and dress his wounds now, and the smell of the antiseptic on the cotton was enough to make Edward feel sick again. He hated that smell. It smelt like hospitals, illness and death. He'd had too much of all of that in his years, and he couldn't help but associate that smell with some of the worst moments of his life. The stinging in his back as Cara cleaned the wounds there made him hiss in pain, bringing to tears to his eyes as he swore quietly, almost not hearing her quiet mumblings of sorry.

It didn't take too long to clean and dress the wounds, and Edward was pleased when Cara moved from his back, leaving the burning to sting to settle. She helped up to his feet again and then they slowly moved to the stairs. "We'll get you upstairs. Back to bed and I'll bring up some food for you. You haven't eaten in days and you need to build up your strength."

* * *

Edward curled up on the bed, blinking wearily against the darkness, trying to find a way to get comfy. It had been about a week since his whipping in the basement, and his back was still in agony, but thankfully Hal hadn't come near him since. Simon and Cara had come to his room regularly to check on him, to bring him food and water and Simon had at one point climbed up onto the bed and told Ed a story. A bedtime story he had said, one that he was always telling himself when he couldn't sleep. It was some crazy adventure of a knight and his pet dragon and the child in Edward loved it, even as the adult laughed softly and the nonsense of the boy lying next to him. It had worked though, and Edward had managed to sleep well that night, but that had been the only night.

He couldn't lie on his back, the wounds were too sore still, and he half expected that they were infected but he couldn't tell because of them being on his back, and Cara hadn't changed the dressings for a couple of days. They'd find out soon enough though. There was a noise in the hallway and Edward glanced up as the door to his room opened. Instantly he knew it was Hal, even in the darkness and Edward pushed himself to sit up, pulling the covers up to cover his bare chest as he glared through the darkness at the other man. He tried to hide his fear and his panic as the lock on the door clicked shut, but he flinched away from the other man when Hal turned to look at him. He was too tired for another beating, to drained from pain and the sad rations that Cara had been ordered to bring to him once a day. It was enough to keep him alive, but it also kept him weak.

"The hell do you want?" Ed heard himself snarl, his fists clenched around the covers. Hal didn't answer him though. He just moved to the curtains, opening them up and letting the moonlight seep into the room before turning to look at Edward, a look of lust and adoration in his eyes. It was enough to make Edward shudder, his panic spiking. "Just leave me the hell alone." Ed snapped, clenching and unclenching his automail hand, eager to shove his fist in this asshole's face.

There wasn't enough time to react though, because Hal had pounced, shoving Edward back to lie on the bed, the wounds on his back screaming their protests as Edward tried to force the man off him, but there was rag at his mouth and nose, forcing him to breathe in its sickly sweet scent and Ed instantly panicked, trying to force Hal off of him, to hold his breath so he wouldn't breathe the drug in but he couldn't get himself free, and he felt his limps slowly get sluggish and heavy and his fear threatened to close his throat even as the darkness crept in, cloaking him fully, shielding him from reality and leaving him at the mercy of his slaver.

* * *

Hawkeye arrived at the hospital slightly later than she had told Breda that would be, having successfully coerced her friend and commanding officer out of his own office and took him home. When she got the room that Alphonse was in she saw Breda sitting outside it, tired looking but still clearly alert of any danger. He stood as she approached, offering a quick salute and a small smile.

"Sorry I'm a little later. I had to talk Roy into going home." She said, handing him one of the coffees that she had been carrying, figuring that he probably needed the pick me up. He took it with a smile of thanks as she glanced at the door to Al's room. "Has there been any change?" She asked, trying not to sound too hopeful, knowing that if anything had changed then Breda would have phoned the office. Despite this, she couldn't help the disappointment as he shook his head.

"Still stable but he hasn't woken up yet. Its been almost two weeks now and we're no closer to finding these bastards. We don't even know if Al will wake up and hell, I don't want to think what is happening to Edward right now. He could be dead for all we know." Breda cursed, glaring down at the coffee in his hands as Riza sunk into a chair by the door. He joined her silently.

"I know. Its frustrating." Riza said, glancing at her own coffee and ignoring Breda's scoff. Frustrating, what an understatement. Ed and Al had been part of the team for eight years now, even if Al hadn't been part of the military he had always been there. They were both part of the team, and Hawkeye treated her team like family. She had dedicated her life to the military. To Roy's dream and to protecting him as he made his way there. Her team was just an extension of that, and those boys had been so full of life, even though they should have crumpled under the weight of their pasts and their shared horror. They never had, of course. They had each other, and that's all they ever felt that they needed, but when Edward had gotten Al's body back, they all waited for his resignation. It never came, and Riza was still half expecting Ed to kick Mustang's door in and toss his pocket watch away.

She had a feeling that Edward stayed because he was lost. Al was in school, studying medicine, with the hopes to then move to Xing to study alkahestry with Mei. He wanted to help change the way that they used alchemy here, to help develop its medicinal uses. Al wanted to travel and learn and relive all of the things that he had missed out while in the armour. So just where did that leave Edward? The eldest Elric had dedicated his life to his brother. To fixing his childhood mistake, and he had down just that and now Edward was left without a goal. It only made sense that he would choose to stay in the military, where Roy was able to send him off on adventures, to help people. If anything it stopped the boy from falling into a depression as his younger brother often spent time away now, studying.

"We'll find him. They'll both get through this." She said, sounding more sure than she felt but it had the desired effect of making Breda smile. A smile that didn't quite reach his eyes and looked a little too forced to be anything happy.

"I hope so. Anyway, I need to run. Havoc will be here at dawn to take over. You need anything?" Breda asked, standing up and running a hand through his hair, trying to stifle a yawn. Riza offered him a smile and shook her head.

"No. Thank you. Goodnight Heymans." She said, watching him nod.

"Night Captain."

Riza sighed as Breda left, turning her gaze back to the door to Alphonse's room. Visiting hours were long past now, but she knew that the hospital made exceptions in certain situations. She also knew that nobody would stop her from going in there, she was his guard after all, something that the doctor hadn't even tried to agree as Mustang had set it up. She pushed herself to her feet and moved into the room quietly.

It was dark, the only light was from the moon seeping in through the window. It gave enough light for Riza to see Alphonse in the bed, covers pulled up to his armpits and IV lines in his veins, pushing fluids and medicine through his system. He was breathing on his own, which she knew was a good sign, and a quick look at the machine to his left showed a steady and strong heartbeat. Everything seemed fine, except for the pale, sickly pallor of his skin and the dark circles under his eyes. The bullet wound was hidden beneath the blankets and bandages and he had no other injuries to see, and Riza stood and watched him for a moment waiting for him to wake up.

When he didn't she shook her head at herself. He'd wake was he was ready, not when she wished it. Taking a breath in through her nose she moved to the chair by the bed and sat in it. Coma patients were said to hear people talking to them, and while she didn't know if Alphonse would hear her, or with the others had even come into the room, let alone spoke to the unconscious teen but there was no harm in trying right? So she leaned forward and took Al's slightly cold hand in both of her own, clasping it between them as she started to talk. She spoke of the case, of their lack of progress and how they seemed to be going around in circles. She spoke of Roy, and how worried he was for both of them, but how his attention had been slipping more lately and how she would catch him looking at a photo of the team he had on his desk. It was a photo that was taken the year before on Ed's birthday and the whole team had went out to a bar since Alphonse was able to join them. She spoke of how Roy would brush his fingers over the picture of Edward, who was glaring at Havoc, but with a small smile on his face showing that he wasn't truly annoyed. She spoke to him of the office, and how they had so much still to do that had nothing to do with finding his brother. She spoke to him about Black Hayate, and how Breda was still terrified off him if Hayate sneaked up on him.

Riza spoke to Al about anything that came into her head, hoping that he would hear her, hoping that hearing about them all would make him fight; would make him open his eyes. He might be able to tell them something to find Edward and the other civilians; but life never works how you hope it will, and Alphonse sleeps on, blissfully unaware of the pain and worry that surrounded him.


	6. Part 1: Chapter 6

**A/N:** I have been informed that the previous chapters seem to have lost the markers separating the scenes between people so thanks for letting me know. I have corrected this so hopefully things flow a bit smoother now and make a bit more sense. Thank you to everyone that is reading this fic and to those that are reviewing it. It means the world to me to know that people like the nonsense in my head so thank you 3

 **Warning: This chapter contains sexual assault and implied rape so proceed with caution.**

 **Chapter 6**

When Edward woke up he did so slowly, his mind groggy and confused and when he went to move his right arm to rub at his eyes he panicked because nothing happened. His left had yet more rope around it and he tugged, his eyes trailing the rope to the metal headboard of the bed. His automail arm was missing, and his flesh one was securely tied to the bed. He couldn't move very far, and trying to pulled at the healing wounds on his back and Ed suddenly remembered what happened. Hal had come in, had drugged him and then there was nothing, and at this realisation his panic hit an all new high, his heart pounding in his chest as he struggled to sit up, panting for air. The air was too thin, his lungs were rejecting it, and his eyes burned with unshed frightened tears. He needed to calm down. Distantly he knew that he was still wearing the loose slacks that he had been in before, and he didn't seem to have any new injuries so that was a plus.

When he sat up everything froze though. Hal was still there, standing by the window, a glass of amber liquid in his hand, that he sipped thoughtfully as his eyes roamed Ed's half naked body, and suddenly that was worse than the frozen shock. That was worse than the fear of a beating, it was worse than the crack of a whip against his back. Ed tried to swallow, but his mouth was too dry and still tasted faintly of the chloroform, his heart felt like it had stopped and his breath hitched in fear that he couldn't even begin to manage. He was vulnerable, too fucking helpless to stop whatever Hal was planning, and with the look in his eyes Ed had a sick feeling that he knew exactly what Hal had in mind.

Neither of them spoke as the older man downed the risk of his whiskey, placing the glass on the window sill before he moved to the bed. He reached out, ignoring Edward's attempt to flinch away, and took a strand of glorious golden hair in his hand, twirling his finger around in it adoringly. It should have been affectionate, Edward knew that. He knew that a lover would do the same, would look at him the same, but Hal wasn't Ed's lover, and all his actions achieved was to stoke the flames of Edward's dread. There was no warning when Hal forcefully kissed Edward, and the younger blonde flinched and pulled away as best as he could, forcing the frightened tears down.

Hal snarled at this rejection, shoving Edward hard onto his back and then Ed was struggling again, wriggling beneath his captor in a desperate attempt to get away as he felt Hal straddle him, his legs on either side of Ed's and his erection roughly pushed up against his hip. A hand on his chin forced him to look at Hal, fingers soft but digging in hard enough to bruise and Edward couldn't help it as the tears slipped past his lashes, rolling down the sides of his face and into his hair as Hal forced another unwanted kiss on him.

Edward continued to struggle, twisting his head away from Hal, gasping and gagging on his fear and the lingering taste of whiskey on the other man's tongue. "You're beautiful." Hal whispers, his mouth sucking at Ed's neck painfully as his hand slipped down his side and Ed is only slightly aware that he's begging him to stop. "God, you are gorgeous. Your hair and way the moonlight shines on the automail..." Hal trails off with a needy growl, biting at Ed's collarbone roughly, bruising him, as he slips out of his own clothes before peeling Ed's off. The younger male continues to struggle, to beg and sob but none of it matters. Hal is stronger in this moment, and Edward can't even fight back.

He leaves Ed there, naked, abused and bleeding. Edward just sobs, curling up on his side as soon as he's able, forcing down the nausea and pain. "Water thirty-five litres, Carbon twenty kilograms, Ammonia four litres..." He mumbles to himself softly through his crying, going over the components of a human being over and over again. He focused on that, on the ingredients he had memorised so long ago, tried to focus on anything except the pain he felt between his legs, or that the sheets were damp with his blood and worse. He tried to ignore the lingering taste of chloroform and whiskey and curled up tighter. He stayed like this through the night, and by the time the sun had made its way up into the sky, Edward had managed to cry himself into an uneasy rest, his demons and nightmares lingering on the sidelines of his subconscious.

* * *

Two weeks. It had been two weeks now since Edward went missing and all Roy had was a fucking tape showing him how much these bastards had control over the blonde. He had went home as Hawkeye had made him, but he hadn't slept. He couldn't. So he had sat up, staring into the fire that he had light in the living room, nursing a bottle of whiskey. Where the hell had they taken Edward? Was he even still alive or had they killed him, left him to rot in some unmarked grave? Had they sold him already, or did they still have him? The questions were driving him insane and he had no answers and no idea how to get the answers. Al still hadn't woken up, and they had no more leads on the truck that took them. The sun was coming up now, and Roy blinked out at the street with a heavy heart. Edward. Where was he? Of course Roy would have been pissed, and worried, if it was any of his men, but he couldn't deny that Edward had gotten under his skin that nobody else could have. Maes would have laughed at him. He had always told Roy to find himself a wife. To settle down and have a family. He would find it hilarious that now, instead of the various woman whom he dated, Roy wanted Edward fucking Elric.

He ran a hand through his dishevelled hair. There was a number of complications when it came to his feelings for the younger alchemist, and Roy knew that if anything happened between them, it could get both of them dishonourably discharged from the military if the brass found out. There was also the issue of Ed being so much younger than him too, and there was enough insidious rumours floating about how Ed really got into the military at such a young age. Of course it was all nonsense, and Roy had tried to kill such talk as fast as possible. He didn't want Edward or Alphonse needing to hear such things. Roy shook his head and laughed at himself. Here he was, worrying about what would happen if he and Edward started a relationship as if the young man would even entertain the idea.

Standing, Roy groaned quietly and moved to his bathroom. He showered quickly, and dressed in his uniform before he left. He was going to go to the Elric's flat first. Maybe there was something there that would give him another lead. He knew that it was a faint hope, that he was clinging to anything that he could, but he needed to exhaust every option. He would hurt their flat for anything that could help, and then he was going to go to the train station. Today was the day that Miss Rockbell was meant to be arriving. He had contacted her that first day, and after calming her worry down as much as he could, she had informed him that it would be another two weeks until she was able to come to Central from Rush Valley, but that was going to finish up the urgent job she was working on and then get on the first train.

The walk to the Elric's wasn't too long, and it surprised Roy that the brothers lived as close to him as they did. In fact, it surprised him that they had even bothered to buy their own place in the first place. They had always been living on the road, never in one place for too long. With a deep sigh, Roy made his way up to the flat, slipping the key out of his pocket. He had taken it from Alphonse's possessions in order to bring him some of his own clothes when he was first taken into hospital and had never put it back. Inside the flat was just how it had been two weeks ago. The kitchen and living room were spotlessly tidy, as was Alphonse's room. Edward's room was a bit more of a mess, but not nearly as bad as Roy thought it would have been. There was a small study next to Edward's bedroom and this was where Roy found himself standing.

There was books and paper everywhere, and this was the Elrics that he knew. Moving to the desk, Roy couldn't help but feel that the entire room looked like it had been abandoned in a hurry. Had they found something? There was a dossier lying open on the desk, and he recognised it instantly. It was the one that had started this whole nightmare. Next to it lay a single sheet of paper with Edward's doodling and notes, and this Roy picked up, reading through the blonde's work. His heart was racing as he got to the end of the paper. Ed had found a pattern! Once a month people were taken from Central, the districts varied each month but they were always taken from the warehouse district. Edward had figured this out two weeks ago, just in time for the boys to rush out, hoping to stop these bastards getting more people.

That gave him two weeks to figure out a plan. In two weeks there was going to be another truck waiting to leave with more innocent civilians to be sold. Folding Ed's notes, Roy slipped them into his pocket, his fingers briefly running over the red coat that hung over the back of the chair. Edward hadn't wore it for a while. As he grew, he had started to wear the military uniform, something the Roy had asked him to do. As a child he was able to get away without it, after all, they didn't make the uniform for children, but Edward had grown and as a young man there had been an expectation for him to wear the uniform. He had complied without too much of a hassle, something that still amazed Roy. That didn't mean that he had missed not seeing the flash of red as Fullmetal stormed out the office, because that was something that he doubted would ever change. No matter how old Edward got, he would continue to have his temper.

* * *

Winry pulled her suitcase off the train with a grunt before she glanced around. She didn't really know who would be picking her up, but the General had promised that someone would be there to get her. The past two weeks had had her worried sick, and while she had been kept up to date, the fact that she wasn't here was awful. Ed was still gone, and Al still hadn't woken up, and Winry was terrified for them both. What if Al never woke up? What if they never found Edward? She scrubbed at her eyes and took a deep shaky breath. She couldn't think about it, not here. She couldn't crumple like this in public.

"Miss Rockbell." A male voice greeted her, and she looked up to see the General offering her a sad smile and his hand. She took it with a watery smile of her own. These boys were her brothers, and she knew just how much they could get under your skin. They had a way of making you love them without even trying. She had no doubt that Mustang and his team were just as worried as she was. The dark circles under Mustang's eyes were enough to prove her point. He looked awful, probably just as bad as she did. They were grieving already, and Winry hated it.

"General Mustang." She replied, thanking him as he took her luggage from her. She followed him as he headed out to a waiting car. Hawkeye was sitting in the driver's seat, waiting for them. She greeted Winry softly as Roy put her bags in the trunk, before he slipped into the passenger seat in front of Winry.

"Can I see him?" Winry asked as soon as Riza had pulled away. "I need to see Al, would that be okay?" She asked, her gaze moving to Roy as she leaned forward.

"Of course. I hadn't expected anything different." Roy said, nodding to Riza. "We shall take you to your hotel first, get you checked in and then we will go to the hospital."

* * *

They left Winry to go in and see Alphonse on her own. Hawkeye was heading home to sleep, she'd been with Al overnight apparently, but Roy had stayed to talk to Havoc. So both men were outside the door, guarding her friend but not wanting to intrude on her visit with him. Tears stung her eyes when she saw him. He looked so poorly, his skin was pale, his lips dry and chapped. He didn't look like Al, not really. It was as long an essential part of him was missing. The same way that someone who had died didn't quite look like themselves. The thought made a tear slip off her lashes and she took in a shaky breath, wiping her eyes before she moved to the chair by the bed. She didn't sit on it though, choosing to perch on the side of the bed and gently brush a feather-light touch across Al's cheekbone. This was her little brother. Not by blood because of course the Elrics weren't related to her by blood, but they were both her brothers regardless. They grew up together, they had been together for much of their childhood, and she had loved them both for so long now that they could be nothing but family.

"Hey Al." Winry said softly, smiling at him even though she knew that he couldn't see it. "It's Winry." Obviously. Her eyes roamed over his body. His hair was needing washed, but it wasn't too bad so she assumed that the nurses had cleaned it at some point in his stay. "What are we going to do with you and Ed, huh? You are both always getting into so much trouble. Why won't either of you just..." Winry shook her head and closed her eyes against fresh tears, "just stop for a moment. Stop and think. People want to help you both. Why don't you ever let them Al? If you had just waited... Well- look at where we are. You've been in a coma for two weeks and Edward..." The tears weren't for being held back today and Winry covered her face as she cried softly.

She wasn't sure how long she sat on his bed crying, but it was beginning to get dark by the time she let herself back out of his room. The General and Havoc were still there, and she paused, catching the end of their conversation.

"...so they are going to be taking more in two weeks?" Havoc was asking. "Mustang this is our chance. We can get them, make them talk. We can find Ed. Hell they possibly use the same truck."

"Let me help."

Roy and Havoc both turned to her, as surprised by her demand as she was. She wanted to help. She needed to help, but Havoc looked almost frightened whereas Mustang just gave her a cold look before he shook his head. "Absolutely not." He raised a hand to stop her protest even as it formed on her lips. "Miss Rockbell, I appreciate that you wish to help, and I can understand how worried you are, but you are not a part of the military so I will not be needlessly endangering any more civilian lives."

"You endangered Al!" Winry snapped. She knew that it wasn't Mustang's fault. Not really, but this was the man that had taken her brothers away. Convinced them to join the ranks of the state alchemists. He's the one that sent Ed on all these dangerous missions. He had risked the lives of two children over and over again. "You let him go into danger, along with Edward! Now look at what's happened. Ed is missing, and Al hasn't opened his eyes for weeks. This is your fault! If you had just left when you first found them then none of this would have happened and they would still be here with me." She felt like crying, and she wanted to scream at him. She wanted to blame him, to make him suffer as she did, and she caught a glimpse of hurt in his eyes before he turned his back to her.

"I did not force either of them to join the military. I did not force Edward to stay after getting his body, and I did not tell Alphonse to go along with his brother on any mission, Miss Rockbell." Roy told her sharply, and of course she knew all that anyway. "I told Edward to wait for backup, and I went with my men to help. I understand that you are upset, but you are not the only one worried for them." Roy gave Havoc a silent nod and then Winry watched him leave. She waited until he was gone before sighing. He was right of course. This wasn't his fault, but she didn't know who to blame. Someone had to be to blame and she just wanted to help.

"I... I'm sorry." Her voice was quiet now, and she lowered her gaze to the floor, chewing on her bottom lip. "I didn't mean that. I just need them to be okay. They're family."

"We know. We need them to be okay too. The General is doing everything he can to find Ed, and he organised a constant guard here to watch over Al. He's trying, but so far we don't have any reliable leads. This is the first we've really had, but he isn't going to risk an innocent life for it. What if they took you too?" Winry nodded. Havoc was right. "I mean for one, Boss would kill him when he found out."

A small laugh. Yeah, Edward would. She remembered seeing them fight before. They were constantly at each other's throats, and she knew how protective Edward got for the people that he cared about. He would tear his way through Mustang if he found out that the General had let her get involved. Winry said her goodbyes to Havoc before glancing back at Al's door once more and then leaving. She would walk back to her hotel. It wasn't too far, and she vowed that she would apologise to Mustang when she next saw him. She had saw a glimpse of pain in his eyes, and she had been completely out of line. She couldn't help Ed, but she could be there for Al still. She would be there when he woke up, and she would be there to support him while they waited for Edward to come home. She didn't want him to wait alone, she knew how awful that felt. Waiting for a call to say that they were safe. A call that never came when it came to the Elrics.


	7. Part 1: Chapter 7

**A/N:** So I was wanting to wait a few days to update, to let you all stew a little, but I have four chapters now completed and I just can't leave you all waiting. So have a super quick update! This is a pretty dark chapter.

 **Warning: There's mentions of rape, violence and death in this chapter, so it's not going to be a happy one! Thank you all again for your support and I hope you like this chapter.**

 **Chapter 7**

Awareness crept up on him, at one point there was just darkness, the faint mumbling of voices every so often, but he couldn't make out the words, or who they belonged to. He knew that the voices were familiar though, and that was a comfort. He slowly blinked his eyes open, waiting for his vision to catch up and clear itself. The room he was in was dark and he had never seen it before, but the smell was clearly a hospital. Why was he in a hospital? His brain was slowly restarting itself, and all of a sudden he remembered. He'd been shot! Well that explained the hospital, and the lingering pain. He shot up in the bed, groaning as nausea hit him with the movement. Where was Ed? A quick glance around the room told him that it was night, and that he was alone. The machine to his side beeped quietly, but Al ignored it. He needed to know where his brother was. He needed to know how he'd even got here and not bled out on the warehouse floor. Had Ed brought him here?

Al was just considering getting out of the bed to try and find someone to explain to him what was going on when the door opened quietly. He was met by a tired, worried look in Mustang's face as the General slipped into the room. It seemed to take the older man a moment to realise that Al was awake, and when he did he was at his side in seconds.

"You're awake. How do you feel?" Mustang asked, his eyes roaming over Al rapidly.

"Sore. Where's brother? Did he get me here?" Al asked, watching Mustang closely and hating the way his face changed at the mention of Ed. Oh god. What had happened? Ed couldn't be dead, could he? "General? General, where is Edward?"

Alphonse's stomach sunk as the General sighed and dropped into a chair by the bed. "We're not sure where he is. You've been in a coma for close to three weeks now..." He paused, and Al frowned, struggling to get his head around that. Almost three weeks? And what happened to Ed? "My team and I arrived at the warehouse in enough time to get you to a hospital, but not soon enough to stop them from taking Fullmetal. We have had a few leads, but most of them have ran cold. We were hoping you would be able to wake up and let us know if you know where they might have taken him?"

Al shook his head. The nausea was back and it was worse than before. He'd been unconscious for two weeks, and his big brother had been taken by slavers. Anything could have happened to him. He could be dead, or sold. He might not even be in Amestris any more. The panic was sudden, taking hold of him tightly and sucked the air from his lungs, his chest felt tight, his lungs dead and useless in his chest. He should have made Ed wait. They should have waited like Mustang had told them to. He should have paid more attention in the warehouse to avoid having someone sneak up on him like they had. He should have fought more. He didn't though, and now Ed was at the mercy of a group of people who lacked any morals, people who sold others as though they were nothing more important than a china set.

"Alphonse, you need to breathe okay?" Mustang was saying, his hand on Al's arm, but it was as though he couldn't remember how to breathe. Tears stung his eyes, dropping on the sheets that had pooled around his hips. He wanted his brother. "Alphonse, look at me." He did numbly, the worry in Mustang's eyes was obvious. "Now breathe. In through your nose." Al did so. "Good. And now out through your mouth. Good, in, and out." Al did as he was told, and Mustang spoke to him, talking him through the steps of breathing for a few moments, until finally the panic was easing a little, and his lungs didn't burn as much. His face was wet with tears he couldn't recall crying, but finally he was able to think straight again. "I'll go get the doctor, okay? Stay here, and focus on your breathing." Alphonse watched Mustang leave the room, gripping the covers and counting his breaths. He needed to move, he needed out of this bed. He needed to find his brother. He didn't want to think about what Ed could possibly be going through just now, but he just prayed to a deity that he didn't believe in that his brother would be okay. Ed was strong, he knew that more than anybody, but he also knew that his brother could only take so much. Eventually something would break him, Al just hoped that he would be okay.

* * *

Winry had been woken up by a call from General Mustang telling her that Al had woken up. It had been a few days since she had arrived in Central and she had spent almost all of her time at the hospital at Al's bed. Mustang had told her that he'd left the doctor with Al, making sure that everything was okay and had left to phone her, knowing that she would want to know straight away. He even apologised for waking her. She barely heard him though, and was out the door almost the same second that she had put the phone back. She ran all the way to the hospital, stopping at the doors outside as her lungs burned painfully. Al was awake! He was actually awake! She'd been dreading the chance that he would never open his eyes again, and now he had.

She made her way up to his room, trying to calm herself before seeing him. He would be worried enough without her emotions to make things worse. Outside his room was Mustang, talking to Riza, who looked like she had just been woken up, and Winry hesitated before moving to them. She didn't want to interrupt their conversation, and this was the first time of her actually seeing the General again since she had laid all of the blame at his feet. One look at him showed her that he was barely sleeping, and that thought made her frown. She knew that his team was important to him, and even if he and Ed were continuously at each other, she didn't think that he would have been this devastated looking. "Miss Rockbell. I apologise again for waking you so late." Mustang greeted her, a small smile on his face. She returned it, and offered one to Hawkeye too.

"Its okay. I'm glad you did. Is he okay?" She asked, her eyes flicking to the closed door that hid Al from her.

"The doctor seems to think so. She had no concerns but they wish to keep him in for a while just to observe him and make sure that everything is alright. She has not long left, so you are welcome to go in and see him."

Winry nodded at that. She hadn't expected him to be getting out any time soon, something she knew that would obey, but begrudgingly. Al wasn't his brother – he would stay here where it was best for him, and he would do so without argument, unlike Ed, who sometimes seemed to think that bleeding out in an alley was a preferable option. Winry also knew that the only think that would make Al lose all sense and risk his own health was his brother. She had no doubt that Al would be restless with the need to hunt for him.

"Thank you." Moving to the door, Winry hesitated before turning back to look at the man behind her. "General, I want to apologise for my behaviour the other day. I was upset and worried and I took it out on you, but that wasn't fair of me."

Mustang offered her a charming smile that – if she wasn't so nervous about seeing Al – would have caused her to blush. "Its quite alright. I understand completely. Those boys are your family, you have every right to be angry."

With that, and the nod of encouragement from Riza, Winry turned back to the door, taking a deep breath before she made her way in. The room was lit by the lamp on the table beside Al's bed, and he was sitting up in the bed, his blonde hair sticking up at odd angles. His colour was better now, and he looked up when he heard her enter, stopping his anxious picking at his nails when he saw her and suddenly he was out the bed and rushing towards her, a watery smile plastered over his face. They met in the middle of the floor and without warning he was in her arms, sobbing into her shoulder. It broke her heart to see him like this, but she knew that there was nothing she could do to make it better for him.

"Oh Al." She mumbled against his neck as her own tears escaped at the sob of his broken sobs. She hugged him tightly to her, leading him back to the bed where she sat on the edge of the mattress with him. They stayed like that for a while, Al curled up against her side crying. Eventually she made him lie down, when one of his hiccuping sobs was interrupted by a yawn. He had only just woken up, and would still need rest. She curled up on the small hospital bed with him, holding him and soothingly stroking his hair. She wanted to make this better. She wanted Edward to come home.

* * *

The week after Hal had come into Edward's room passed in a blur. He'd come back every night, never having given Ed his automail arm back after that first night. He had been left tried to the bed, and when Cara had been sent in to see to him in the morning he couldn't meet her eyes as she quietly cried at him. She had kept telling him how sorry she was, but he didn't want to think about it. The less he thought about it, the easier to ignore that it had happened. At least for a few moments. Edward had been locked in that room for the following week, his only company his own sorrow, brief visits from Cara who brought him food and water, and his nightly visits from Hal that seemed to get worse each night. Halfway through this hellish week, Simon had started sneaking in to Ed's room after Hal had left him. The young boy had curled up in the bed with Ed, cuddled into him and spoke nonsense for hours until Ed had finally managed to drift off into an uneasy sleep.

Each morning he would be woken by Simon sneaking back out of the room, doing his best not to wake Ed. The blonde would keep his eyes closed, letting the child think that he'd been successful. Ed didn't want to talk to anyone, and for the most part he hadn't spoken for that whole week. What could he possibly say?

It was the end of that week that a spark of hope returned to him. Hal came into the room mid-afternoon, smirking at the flinch he received from Ed. "Good afternoon, Golden Star." Hal purred the nickname he'd given Edward, who tried to not shudder at the sound of it and curled up tighter on the bed. Ed didn't speak though, he didn't trust his voice and he knew that anything he said would only cause more pain and misery for himself. Hal moved to the bed where Edward was still trapped, tied to it and missing a limb. Ed shut his eyes tightly, turning away from the older man. His skin crawled and his blood boiled at the cruel chuckle that Hal let out at Ed's reaction to him. "Now now. There's no need for that. Cara, come in girl."

Cara did as instructed, and Edward opened his eyes in fear as countless horrible scenarios flitted through his mind. Upon seeing her, his panic eased a little. She didn't seem hurt, just meek and sombre. In her arms was his automail, and Ed risked turning a confused frown at his captor. Hal smiled at him and Ed instantly lowered his gaze. "I need to leave for a few days on business, so I thought that I would be so kind to return this to you. You should get up and explore the house and gardens while I'm gone. Everything here is free for you to experience." Ed watched in silence as Hal took the arm from Cara, who was watching him cautiously, frightened and worried.

His slaver wasted no time in reattaching the automail with practised ease that made Ed wonder where he had learned to do so. The pain was the same agony that it always was, but due to his weakened, barely nourished body, it felt so extreme that his vision blurred and he was dangerously close to losing consciousness. Silently he begged for the blackness, but it never fully took him and slowly his vision returned to normal as he watched Cara untie his flesh wrist. There was rope burn all around it, the skin red and torn from Ed's struggling each night. Cara softly told him that she would get something to clean it with and disappeared from the room.

"I expect you to behave while I'm gone." Hal said, sitting on the edge of the bed, his fingers hooking a lock of golden hair around his finger. His grin made Edward feel sick, and he couldn't pull away fast enough to avoid the rough kiss that Hal forced on him. Ed shut his eyes to trap the tears in as Hal pulled away. "You are so gorgeous. That hair of yours is just glorious. Its like molten gold dripping over you, and the way the sun shines on it, and reflects off the automail, my little Golden Star, you are truly ethereal."

Hal had thankfully left him alone once Cara had returned, leaving her to tend to his injured wrist as he finished preparing to leave. He had made the three of them see him off though, so Edward stood in a jumper that was too big on him, his fists curled tightly around the sleeves, his flesh knuckles aching from the grip. Cara was polite but subdued, she was trying to avoid his wrath clearly, and while it wasn't the excitable interest of Simon, Hal seemed to deem it acceptable. The young boy was happily asking where their master was going, how long he would be, if he could bring them something back if he promised that they would all be very good and look after everything here. Hal had smiled warmly at him, as if he was some loving parent. The action made Ed forget his fear, and he had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop from letting his anger out.

At last Hal turned to Edward, beckoning for him to step closer, and reluctantly and with great control, Edward did. He refused to flinch away as Hal stroked his hair again – which he had been instructed to leave down and loose around his shoulders. Ed glared up at the man, his fury helping him forget his fear, something that Hal clearly found amusing from the glint in his eyes. "Will you miss me, Golden Star?"

Edward just glared at him for a further moment before scoffing and glancing away. "Like a hole in the head." He muttered, momentarily satisfied with the outraged huff his captor let out.

"I think you better rethink this attitude of yours, Edward. My little Fullmetal Alchemist. You suddenly have gotten all brave again, and here I was thinking that I'd fucked that attitude out of you."

No matter how hard he tried, Edward couldn't not flinch at the harshness of that, of the brutal, angry reminder of what Hal had done to him every night for a week. His fear threatened to swallow his anger, but he forced it down, raising his angry gaze back to the older man. He didn't have use of his alchemy, the metal collar that had remained around his neck made sure of that, but he had his automail back, and he could sure as hell kick seven shades of shit into this asshole. Hal moved without warning, grabbing the front of the jumper Ed wore and pulled him closer. His lips crashed against Ed's roughly, and Edward knew that his anger had turned his slaver on. He liked Edward's fire more than he liked having him to use as he wished. Well fuck that.

Ed summoned his strength and shoved Hal off him, raising an automail fist and punching him in the jaw with a satisfying crunch. Blood sprayed out of his captor's mouth, and he heard the other two gasp behind him. None of them had ever spoken back to Hal. He was a spoiled little brat that always got his way and Edward had decided that he needed to be told no now. The blonde allowed himself a silent victory at the astounded rage that flashed through Hal's eyes as he turned to stare at Ed. The blonde just glared back at him, cracking his flesh knuckles. Without warning Hal grabbed Ed's wounded wrist and pulled him close. "You should not have done that!" He snarled and Ed just smirked back at him. After all, a beating was so much better than rape. What was the worst that Hal could possibly do?

"Simon, come here, and pick up that letter opener." Hal demanded, and the young boy – his son – obeyed without hesitation. "Now, my darling Golden Star, you think you have made a point. You think you are fighting back, regaining some of your dignity, but you are so extremely mistaken." Ed watched as Hal took the letter opener from the boy and forced the handle into Ed's flesh hand before he held it tightly. With his anger fading with each second, Ed felt dread slowly build at the cruel look in Hal's eyes. He watched as the older man took a hold of Simon's hair and roughly pulled the boy's head back, exposing his neck and suddenly Ed panicked.

"No. What are you doing?" He snapped trying to pull away, hissing in pain as Hal dug his nails into his cut wrist. "Stop! Please don't do this." Ed begged, his panic scaring a very confused Simon.

"I'm sorry Edward, but I cannot do that. You need to learn a lesson here. I am your master, and while I can let you sleep in a comfy bed and allow you all the pleasures you could ever hope for, I still own you. All of you. You will regret ever raising a hand to me."

Edward struggled, and watched in horror as Hal forced his hand down, pushing the metal in his hand down through the boy's throat. He heard Cara scream, heard his own scream as the pain and shock widened Simon's eyes. Blood, sticky and warm, spilled out over Edward's had, spraying up and splattering across his face as Hal released his hold on them both. Edward stood in shock, his hand still curled around the letter opener that was sticking out of Simon's neck even as the boy slumped into his arms. Cara was behind him somewhere, her crying and yelling hysterical, and he knew that she had become close to the dying child in his arms over the last three weeks. Four now he supposed.

"I want this mess dealt with by the time I get home. Bury the body if you wish. I don't care." Hal then turned on his heel and the slam of the door was lost to Ed, who dropped to the ground, cradling the small child as he tried to speak. Tears glistening in both their eyes as Simon choked, trying to sob and just making gurgling sounds as he choked on the blood that poured out of his neck and soaked through both their clothes. As Simon's eyes slipped closed and didn't reopen, Ed let out a scream that he was sure was going to rip his throat open, his chest aching as he struggled with the grief and the guilt. Cara had curled in on herself, her hysterical tears loud in Ed's ears as he remembered how early on, Simon had curled up next to him and told him stories. How Simon had spent the nights of the last week offering his comfort with his presence. Now though, because of Edward's temper, and his recklessness, this small child was dead in his arms, and it had been his own hand that had killed him.

Edward wished for death then. He was alone, his family lost, Al was possibly dead, a child dead because of him. There was no way to escape his torment and he longed for death then. Anything to stop the aching in his core, anything to stop the guilt.


	8. Part 1: Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

The tension in the air was so thick that Riza would swear that she could taste it. Roy's team were spread out over the area, but she was able to see them all from her vantage point on the tallest roof. They were all on the same radio network, so she was also able to hear them all. From the nervous clicking of Havoc's lighter to the faint, soft sound of rasping gloves as Roy fidgeted. It had been a full month now that Edward had been missing, had been just over a week since Al had woken up. The younger blonde was now safely at home, unaware of their current mission. Roy had refused to inform him, knowing that if he did then there was no way that Alphonse would stay at him. Winry knew, but for the most part she had accepted that she couldn't help, and had kept it quiet from the younger of the Elrics. She knew him well enough to know better than to tell him. It had been a full month, but it had felt like decades and she silently prayed that this gamble would pay off.

According to the information that Roy had gotten from the Elric's flat, their targets should be bringing people here tonight. They were collecting more innocents tonight, and Riza knew that the team she watched over had every intention of making every one of them pay for their crimes. She was to watch them, whereas Roy and Havoc had taken two separate groups. Fuery and Falman with Havoc, they were to lead civilians to safety as Havoc covered them. Breda was with their commander, watching his back. It was so easy to detach herself from the situation as she checked over her sniper one final time. At this, she was the best, and she damn well knew it. It was easy to fall into the role, the heavy weight of the gun a strange comfort to her, the haunting memories of those that she had killed lingered on the sidelines, and she knew that she would need to deal with the horror of her mistakes after they were finished here, but it was easy to push all that back, to focus on protecting her oldest friend and their team.

The sound of tyres crunching on the gravel snapped her focus to the truck that was slowly making its way through the area. It stopped next to the same warehouse where they had found Al. Sloppy work. It offended her that these people had avoided capture for so long, when it was so clear that they had gotten over confident in their ability. They were so sure of themselves that they didn't believe that the military would be watching that same warehouse where one of their own had been taken, where they had found the dying brother of one of their most famous alchemists. "It appears to be the same truck, sir." Hawkeye told Roy over the comms. "Two men and a woman. One of the men has a scar over his left eye, just as Alphonse described."

"Its them. These bastards took Boss." Havoc's snarl answered her, but Roy didn't. He didn't need to. They waited for a moment longer, waited until the warehouse doors were opened. Over the comms Hawkeye could now hearing a soft crying. There was people already in there. Damnit! If they had known that they could have gotten them out before any of the shooting.

"Both men are armed, the woman doesn't seem to be." She informed them, watching the trio through the scope of her rifle. They moved with ease, sure of their success. Why would they be, after all, they had a spotless track record. Even when faced with a state alchemist they had succeeded, taking extra as they bundled Edward off into the back of that truck. Roy's team didn't move, and the fear crept up on her that they would fail again today. They needed to get this right. There was no room for failure.

"Falman, break off and let the air out of the tires of the truck. We can't have them getting spooked and fleeing." Roy's command was silently obeyed and Hawkeye moved her gaze to follow Vato, silently watching his back as he left his small group. It still amazed her sometimes how Roy seemed to be able to hear her concerns, her own fears and answer them with solutions before she was ever able to express them. Falman moved to the truck, ducking around it and out of sight of the open warehouse door, before he silently let the air out of the tires. A gunshot would be too loud, even silenced, the bang from a burst tyre was too likely to spook their targets. Nobody thought to stay by the truck and because of such Falman was successful in flattening all four tyres before was safely by Havoc's side again.

"Don't shoot first. We want them to surrender, if they attack shoot to wound where possible. We don't want any deaths tonight if we can help it. The scarred one is their leader. I want him alive. I will make him talk." Roy told them all, his voice rough and angry, and Riza wanted to stop him. She didn't want him to turn his alchemy on another human, but she knew that he would, and that their was nothing that she could do to stop him. He would torture the man until he gave up his secrets, and Riza knew that he would do it for any of them, but this was about Edward and she knew that his feelings were different for the younger man. If she was honest with herself, Hawkeye didn't know if he would kill the man regardless of if he got his information or not. She didn't know if she would even blame him for it.

The silence stretched as Mustang's team waited for his order to move it, and when it came, they responded without hesitation. A well oiled machine, each part doing its job to help the complete task to be completed. Hawkeye moved from her tower, useless now that all targets were in the building. She moved to the warehouse quickly, her sniper left safely by the truck, shouting echoing in her ears from the comms. Kicking a door open, her pistol at the ready, Hawkeye moved in, silently moving aside to let Fuery and Falman usher terrified by seemingly unharmed civilians out to safety. Roy stood in the middle of the room, his gloved hands by his sides as Breda and Havoc trapped in the targets, their guns aimed at them. Their three targets were in the middle, surrounded and cut off from escape; the leader staring down Mustang with a cold smirk on his face. The other two had their guns on Havoc and Breda, but neither had accounted for her. How could they have?

"Lower your weapons!" She demanded, clicking the safety of her pistol off to drive her point home. The trio hesitated, clearly reluctant to give in, but they knew that they stood no chance, and they did as she demanded, placing their guns on the concrete floor and sliding them into the middle of the no man's land between them. Roy's team moved in then, restraining the two of them while the leader still didn't seem to believe that this was over. Or didn't care that it was.

"You took a Major Elric from this building a month ago, shooting a civilian in doing so. Where is he?" Roy demanded, stepping closer to the leader as Havoc and Breda escorted their targets out of the building, leaving only Roy, the slavers' leader and herself. Turning her gun on the other man, Hawkeye moved a little closer to Roy, picking up on the dangerous look in his eyes.

"General, all this effort for just some Major. How quaint. He was a beauty, I understand that. Got me a lot of money that one." His laugh was cruel and it made her anger snap, wanting to punish this man for the crimes he had committed, for all of the pain that he had caused to all his victims and their families, to their team. She had Roy, her commander, her friend, suffer from his guilt and worry. Watched as he got more and more exhausted and desperate, watched as he would sneak glances to the picture on his desk, witnessed his panic when a nightmare woke him from the nap that he had slipped into at his desk. A nightmare that never ended, even as he opened his eyes. Her finger tightened around the trigger of her gun, but she didn't fire; didn't react to his mocking. She was here as a threat, a silent darkness and protection for Roy to get what he needed.

"If I had known that you were interested in obtaining him I would have contacted you first."

"So you've sold him." Mustang's reply was a growl, his fingers pressed tightly together with the need to snap. "Who has him? Where is Edward Elric?"

"Oh I can't tell you that. Client confidentiality and all. Isn't this beneath you? He's just some Major."

"You have kidnapped and taken a state alchemist of the Amestrian military. As a General of that military it is my job to ensure his safe return. Other than that, Elric is under my direct command. Now, where is he? You do no want to make me ask again."

"So you are General Roy Mustang, Hero of Ishval." The scarred man smirked more, shrugging a little as if everything made sense now. Hawkeye itched with the need to shot him and wipe the smug look off of his face. One look at Roy told her that he was having the same thought, and she did not envy the man who seemed eager to keep his secrets to himself. Roy was a man of his word, and this slaver would soon learn that if he didn't volunteer his information willingly then Roy was more than happy to pull it from his agonised screaming. "Well, now I see why you want him so badly. I've heard that he's been your lap dog since the beginning. Kept the headstrong little shit around as a way to work out your frustrations, didn't you? I mean, children aren't my thing, but each to their own. I still can't tell you where he is. Someone else gets to have him now, alchemist.

The snap of Roy's fingers was loud in her ears, the flames shooting out and circling around the slaver, far enough away to not burn him, but close enough that sweat soon began to bead across his brow. Roy looked at him, coldly and indifferent, before his eyes met hers. She hated that look, the look that told her that he would kill this man and his conscience be damned. It wasn't a crazed look of how he would enjoy this kill, not like the look she had seen in too many alchemist's eyes. No, this one was worse somehow, as though this kill was meaningless. An ends to a mean. As if human life, regardless of how cruelly lived, was meaningless, worthless to him. It was a look that she imagined a god giving because striking with death and disaster and she hated seeing it on her friend's face.

"Captain, leave us. Secure the perimeter." Roy told her, turning back to his target without another look at her. Expecting her to silently agree. He should know better.

"Sir?" Hawkeye asked. She was rewarded by his gaze again, and she sent him a questioning look, knowing that he would know what she meant in that one word. Understanding flickered through his eyes, and then was gone and it was replaced by that same cold, hardness from before.

"That is an order Captain." He told her, turning away again, ignoring her quiet sigh as he pushed the flames closer to the other man. Hawkeye clicked the safety on her gun and left the warehouse, pulling the doors shut behind her. Havoc was smoking by the truck, Breda at his side with their two captives sitting in the back of the truck.

"Fuery and Falman are arranging transport for the civilians, getting to the hospital to be checked or to be taken home." Havoc informed her around his cigarette. She nodded, glancing at the two in the truck. They were defeated, and while they weren't happy about it, they didn't struggle or even seem too angry. Perhaps they knew how badly this could have went. Havoc took a long draw of his cigarette, letting it out in a puff of smoke a moment after before he spoke again. "Has the leader given anything up?"

"Other than that he has already sold Edward, no. He has kept quiet on to whom, and has instead just mocked the General." She said, glancing back at the doors as the roar of fire increased.

"Mocked him? Damn. Man must have a death wish."

A scream tore through the night and Hawkeye shut her eyes. She wanted to stop him, she knew that he would regret this after, but she also knew that nothing would stop him now. Not until he found out where Edward was. The woman in the truck cowered from the scream. "The hell is he doing to him?" She asked, her question to nobody in particular.

"That's General Roy Mustang in there. The Flame Alchemist. You took Edward Elric last month. Ed's under Mustang's command. He's one of us." Havoc told the woman, and Hawkeye noticed the fear and recollection in her eyes. She knew the name. Most people had heard of the Flame Alchemist and what he was capable of doing. Her fear was not misplaced, and that was something that perhaps Riza could work with to stop her friend from killing another human. She might know where Ed was, or at least who he had been sold to.

Breda seemed to share her idea as he spoke up, directing his question at Hawkeye "He's going to kill him, isn't he?"

"I believe he might. That depends on him though. If he tells the General where Edward is, I believe that he could survive. Otherwise..." She let herself trail off as another pained scream seeped out from the building to her back. "I hate that look that he gets." She muttered, knowing that her team would understand.

"Wait!" The woman pleaded, looking between the three soldiers before settling on Hawkeye, assuming correctly that she was the highest ranking. "Wait, don't let him die! I know who has Elric. The blonde alchemist, right? I know who bought him. Please, he's my uncle. Please stop this."

Her begging was enough for Hawkeye to turn her attention fully to the woman. The man at her side was silent, uncaring. He knew that regardless, he was getting locked up. The woman seemed to be accepting of this fact too, but she was desperate to save the life of a family member. Hawkeye didn't answer her, waited silently for her to give them the information that she needed. She couldn't promise her that her uncle would survive. She didn't know herself if Roy would just kill him outright or not, but she hoped for her friend's already damaged conscience that he would stop when he got the information that he needed.

"Hal Jones. That was his name. He was the one that bought Elric. Wanted him the moment he laid eyes on him, took a girl too. Please don't let my uncle die."

"Hal Jones, isn't that the name of that spoiled rich guy out West?" Breda asked, frowning. "I'm sure I read somewhere that he was left a fortune when his parents died. Has some big house just outside of Central City. Could be that Boss is there?"

Hawkeye nodded, thanking the woman for her help before telling Havoc to get in touch with Fuery and Falman, getting Breda to take their prisoners away for questioning. She turned on her heel when both men obeyed with salutes. Inside the warehouse was hot, the flames still burning happily, greedily licking at the legs of the man they surrounded. A nasty burn ran down his left side, but Hawkeye ignored him as she moved to her commander. "Sir. We think we may know where Edward is." She told him, offering him a small smile as he let the flames die. Behind her she heard the pained whimpering of the slaver as he slumped to the ground. "The woman is his niece, she heard his screams and volunteered the information in the hopes of saving his life. She said that a Hal Jones... took an interest in him." She couldn't say bought. It was what he had done, but she just couldn't make herself say the words, to lower Edward to nothing but a possession.

Roy nodded, looking back at the wounded, bleeding man with that same awful cold look. His eyes were calculating, the want to end this man was clear in his face, but he resisted and turned to look back at her. "Good. We shall see about lessening her sentence. Where is this Hal Jones?"

"Breda recognised the name, he has a house just outside of the city apparently. We believe that Edward might be there. Breda is getting the other two away, Fuery and Falman are seeing to it that the civilians are taken care of and then will be returning here with Havoc." She said, gesturing to the man. "What do you wish to do about him?" Riza wasn't sure that she wanted to know the answer, but she needed to ask.

"Fuery and Falman can take him in." Roy said after a long moment, and she let out a silent relieved breath. The small mercy was more than the man deserved, and she had a feeling that the military would shoot him regardless. He had taken one of their own after all. While the military was more than happy to throw their own at a war, it didn't take kindly on an outsider attacking their own, and that was what had happened. By taking Edward, the slavers had attacked the military. "You and Havoc are with me. We're going to this house."


	9. Part 1: Chapter 9

**A/N:** So this is another dark chapter, but it shouldn't get much darker than this. Things will get a bit better soon! Thank you to everyone that is still reviewing this. You guys are amazing! Roy is on his way to save the day! Let me know what you think, and again if you spot any issues, feel free to let me know and I'll fix them up right away.

 **Warnings: Rape, abuse**

 **Chapter 9**

His arms and back ached from the work. It had been a month since he had really been able to exercise and digging a grave was hard work when you felt as malnourished as he did. He had spent a while crying on the floor, Simon in his arms, Cara a little bit off from them, sobbing into her hands until her voice broke and her crying grew quiet. It didn't lessen, she just stopped making noise. Edward had managed to pull himself up somehow, had managed to pull the boy up into his arms. He'd wrapped Simon in a blanket with numb fingers, brushed back strands of blood matted hair from the child's face and had carried him outside. It was dark now as he dug the grave, the blood on his hands and arms flaking off in places from his work. The jumper stuck to him, the blood that had soaked it making it cling to his body as it dried and hardened.

Cara moved out of the house behind him, but he didn't look up at her as she moved to his side. She watched him dig the grave in silence for a moment before she moved to the flowers by the side of the garden. Lillies. She plucked a bundle out and moved back to Edward just as he had finished the grave. Her eyes glistened with yet more tears, so Edward looked away again. "You don't have to be here for this." He told her quietly, but she just placed a hand on his arm.

"I want to be. I... He deserves something close to a proper funeral." She told him, sniffing back tears as her eyes lingered on the bundle of blankets. Edward nodded at that. She was right. Simon hadn't had anyone. His mother dead, his father was his cruel slave master. Edward and Cara were all that the boy had had. They were his only friends, his only solace in his sad lifetime. It made Edward so unbelievably angry. It made him want to scream and cry and punch his way to something that felt okay, but there wasn't anything okay about this. Simon had been born because of his mother's rape. He had lived despite her death, and somehow still managed to smile. He was stronger than Edward ever had been. He'd lost his mother at a similar age, he had had his little brother to look after and instead of just living life, Edward had talked his grieving brother into the worst mistake of their lives. A mistake he had only managed to correct a few years ago. A mistake that might be all wasted as the bullet tore through his brother's flesh. Had Edward given Al his body back, just so his brother could feel the pain of his life slipping from it?

Edward couldn't speak, so instead he moved to the bundle of blankets and Simon and lifted him up on shaky, exhausted limbs. After lowering the body into the hole he had dug, Edward took one of the lillies offered to him and placed it on to of the blankets, Cara doing the same after him. He then slowly began to cover the grave over again. The girl at his side talking through her tears.

"I know we didn't know each other for long, but I grew to love you. You were so sweet, so innocent despite the hardships that life had given you. You loved so easily. You loved me, helping me to cope with this life, you loved Edward," She paused and Ed could feel her gaze of him. The lump in his throat threatened to choke him. "You were always wanting to see if he was okay, going to him to comfort him each night. You even loved that monster. He was your father, and you loved him despite every cruel thing that he had done to you, to others. I am so sorry that this happened, Simon." Cara let out a strangled sob as Edward put the last of the dirt back. She moved to kneel in the soil, laying the rest of the lillies on the mound of mud. "At least now you're at peace. You can be with your mother again now, Simon, and we will always love you. Thank you for everything."

Edward pulled the girl into a hug as she stood, ignoring the roar of thunder as the skies above them opened up in their own show of mourning. They stood there was a while, Cara crying into Ed's shoulder as he numbly stared at the grave, at the blood on his hands. By the time they had both went inside again they were thoroughly soaked, their clothes sticking to them. Edward left her alone then, moving to shower and wash the blood from his body. It was his first shower in what felt like a lifetime. He hadn't been allowed to shower since before the raping started and he was still able to feel Hal's touch all over his skin. The hot water poured over him, chasing back the chill of the storm and Edward watched as the water turned pink as the blood was slowly removed from his skin and hair.

He spent longer than required under the water, hoping to erasing the phantom touches of his abuser, hoping to wash away the marks that told of his torment. The jagged cuts around his wrist, the gashes that littered his back. The love-bites that littered his skin, marking him as Hal's property, the bruises around his throat where his master would bite the skin, or where his hand had tightened until the world blurred around Edward. His legs were littered with bruises from the rape, as was his chest. Small cuts were scattered over his ribs from the night that Hal had taken a razor to his skin, cutting him as he had his way with him, licking the blood with a moan as his desire for Edward spiked. Edward stayed in the shower until he hoped that it would somehow drown him.

Eventually he managed to get out, the water having pounded away his aching muscles and dragging his exhausted body closer to sleep. He dressed in clean clothes, trying to not think of who they belonged to as he wiped away condensation from the mirror. His hair was hanging down his back, dripping water down him and suddenly he had never hated the sight of himself more. He found scissors in a cupboard, and within moments his hair was lying around him, covering the floor. It was a messy cut, but it was better than he had had. His long golden locks of hair now at his feet. It was short now, and he could see how much he looked like Al in that moment. The thought was a small comfort even as his grief took hold of him again. An automail fist smashed into the mirror, shattering it into pieces.

Cara came running into the room soon after that, her gasp pulling him from his heavy breathing. Was it anger or sadness that had tightened his chest? "Edward, what have you done?" Cara said, moving to his side, her hand reached out to touch what was left of his hair, but never actually touching him. She was scared, he could tell by her voice, but he didn't care why. She was scared for him, that was clear. Hal had made no secret of his want for Edward, or his sick adoration of his hair. They both knew that Hal was going to lose his shit when he got back and saw what Edward had done, but as he scooped up what was once his trademark long blonde hair, he couldn't feel too heartbroken about it. "Are you hurt?" Cara asked him and he shook his head at her, offering her a small smile.

"Don't worry. There's nothing more that he can do to me." He told her, nodding at her before leaving the room. If he was honest with himself, he felt a bit of apprehension, but he was confident that Hal would fly into a rage and beat him for cutting his hair. If he was angry then Ed could safely assume that a beating would be all that he got.

They had been curled up on the couch together a couple of days later when Hal got home. They had spent a lot of time in their brief freedom, and had relaxed into each other's company. Ed had eaten more in those two days than he had since being kept here, and had been able to smile – truly smile – and how Cara laughed at his appetite. They had settled down on the couch after Edward had started a fire to chase off the chill in the house, and she had been asking him about alchemy, something that he was more than happy to talk about for hours. As Edward spoke he watched the flames, his thoughts going to his commanding officer. Hell he never expected that he would miss that bastard's face. When the door opened it tore into their easy conversation, leaving them both tense. Cara looked at Ed, fearful as she moved to stand up. She slipped out of the room, moving to greet their master as Edward stood, moving to the fireplace and crouching by it, watching as the flames danced as he poked at the wood with the metal poker.

"Nice to see that you have cleaned the mess from the other night up." Edward heard Hal say, as if the blood of his son spreading out over the floors was nothing more important than a broken glass. "Where is he?"

Edward knew that 'he' was him. Hal wouldn't care that they had buried his son, that they had held a small funeral for the boy. No, Hal wanted to know where his trophy slave was. It pissed him off, so when he stood and turned to face the door as Hal came in, he was distantly amused by the horror on his face. Cara lingered in the doorway, watching them with wide eyes. Edward just glared down his abuser as Hal stomped closer and grabbing Edward's chin, forcing the younger male to look up at him. Beneath the shock and horror, anger shimmered in those eyes and Edward offered him a smug smirk.

"How was your trip?" Ed asked, as if he was asking Winry how she was getting on in her job. The slap was so sudden that he stumbled back a step, almost tripping on the fire poker that he had left sitting half in the flames. The slap had stung, but his small victory at seeing the man so off balance was enough that he was able to forget anything but the vindictively satisfied feeling in his gut.

"What the hell have you done?" Hal screamed it, and Edward couldn't help the laugh that slipped past his lips. After glaring at the younger man, their slaver turned his fury to the girl who was still standing in the doorway. "What the hell did you let him do, girl?"

"Hey! Leave her the hell out of this. Are you honestly stupid enough to think she could have stopped me from cutting it off? It was done before she knew about it." Ed snapped, getting Hal's attention again and shooting a glare at Cara that told her to go. If she was here, Ed had a feeling that Hal would attack her and that was not a risk that he was willing to take. She hesitated, but did as he silently demanded and soon he was alone with Hal. His fear of the man was still there, sitting at the back of his mind, trying to eat away at him, but his anger about his abuse, about Cara's abuse, about the child's corpse in the garden was enough to silence the fear for the moment.

Edward smirked at Hal again, "What's wrong? Don't want me now that I don't have my 'glorious hair'?" He mocked, anticipating the next attack and easily side stepped out of the way of the punch. This was different. This wasn't torture and rape and abuse, this was a fight and fighting was where Edward excelled. Another punch, and this time Edward attacked at the same time, ducking under Hal's attack. He'd left himself open. It was clear that this pampered brat had never really fought, he was better at slower, more calculated pain, but Edward had been fighting his whole life. He was trained and, hell, fighting was his job and he was damn good at it. Ed's automail foot connected with Hal's ribs, forcing the other man back into the coffee table, the vase tumbling to the wooden floor with a crash as the porcelain smashed.

Edward didn't wait for Hal to get his thoughts together before he threw a punch – again using his steel arm – which opened up a cut beneath Hal's left eye and split his lip. His victory was shortly lived though, because Hal's hand was in his pocket, taking out a small remote and depressing a button on it. Ed didn't have to wonder what it was for, the shock that forced him to his knees with a cry made it obvious enough. Damn collar. He had forgotten about it. Hal had never used it, and after a month of having the thing heavy, but harmless, around his neck he had totally forgotten that it was there. The pain shot through him, blurring his vision as he panted on the ground, waiting for the agony to ease. He was pushed to his back without warning, and his muddled thoughts were stopped dead when he felt the top that he was wearing being torn off him.

His vision cleared just as Hal straddled him, pinning his arms by his sides and leaned in to bite and suck at his neck to create a fresh bruise amongst the older ones that were starting to yellow. He tasted bile as he struggled beneath him, his stomach dropping as Hal laughing cruelly, slipping his hand down the front of Edward's trousers, grabbing him roughly. "You think that I don't still want you? You thought that cutting your hair was going to stop me from fucking you every night like the whore you are? Think again, Edward, my Golden Star. This is your life now, you best grow to accept that. You will be mine each and every night and soon you will beg for it."

Edward struggled to get away and when Hal's weight on him shifted, Edward rolled onto his front and pushed up onto his knees. He was just about to try and stand and run when the shock tore through his body again and he felt into a heap on the floor again. Hal stripped him off his trousers and then he heard a belt being undone as he struggled onto his knees again. The crack of the leather on his back brought tears to his eyes, making him yelp. Hal was on him then, his weight heavy as Edward felt the other man's want for him behind him. The pain as Hal pushed into him was nothing compared to the searing hot burn of the metal poker being pressed against his ribs and his own scream sounded wrong to his own ears. Hal moaned in pleasure behind Edward, pushing him roughly against the floor. "I do love the sound of your screaming." Another shock from the collar tore through Edward has Hal continued, and Edward was distantly aware that he was sobbing.

When Hal roughly grabbed what was left of Edward's hair and smacked his head down against the stone of the fireplace, the alchemist's vision blurred again. Blood ran down over his lashes, but he didn't mind, because the blackness of unconscious was creeping up now, and Edward went willingly into its dark loving abyss to escape his abuse.


	10. Part 1: Chapter 10

**A/N:** The reunion that you have all been waiting for! And the chapter is longer than the others, I didn't know when to stop, and ideas just kept coming to me.

Sorry about the slightly slower updates than you have all become used to. I've had a busy week with work and a wedding to go to (and getting myself hurt before said wedding). Again (as usual) this hasn't been Beta'd - I should probably get a Beta, right? - so if there are any issues that's all me and I'm sorry.

Please, let me know what you think! And enjoy! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter.

 **Chapter 10**

The house had been too quiet since they had gotten in, and Roy was starting to wonder if their information had been wrong. They hadn't come across anyone yet, none of the captives or their slave master and the brief flurry of hope that had bloomed in his chest was starting to die. Havoc was behind him, his gun drawn and ready to stop any threat before it happened, while Hawkeye was taking point up front. Her back was tense, and her hair was beginning to fall out of its clasp, blonde stands falling down her back. The tension was so thick that Roy was sure that it would choke him. The trio moved slightly along the corridor, Hawkeye and Havoc checking each room before Roy entered – but each one was empty. They had signs of people having been there – unmade beds and clothes waiting to be washed, but there was no sign of any people.

Roy was about to give up when they came to a last room, one close to the front door – they had entered through the back and the sight of what could only be a fresh grave lay heavy on Roy's mind and heart. The door was locked and Havoc moved to pick it without order. Roy turned his back to look down the corridor, Hawkeye still on guard at his side. "We'll find him, sir." She said softly, glancing back at Havoc as he struggled with the lock. Roy wished that he had her confidence. It had taken them weeks for Al to wake up to even be sure that Ed was still alive. They had finally gotten the full story of what had happened in that warehouse from the younger Elric, but it had still taken them a month to get enough information and clues to finally decide to chase up on this lead. A lead that didn't seem to be giving up anything and Roy was getting more and more desperate. He knew of the awful things people could do to each other, especially when that people felt like they owned another. It was his fault that Ed was taken, and the thought of anything happening to him made him feel sick to his stomach.

Behind him Havoc let out a breath as he finally got the door open and Hawkeye moved to his side, leaving Roy with his back to the door as he tried to cling to the hope that Fullmetal would be on the other side, unharmed. His lieutenants moved into the room with practised ease, Hawkeye was ready to shoot anyone that moved as Havoc flicked the switch on to light the room. Their gasps was enough to fill Roy with dread as he turned to the door. "Sir, we've got him."

Roy moved into the room, pausing at the sight that greeted him. It felt like someone had punched him in the chest, he couldn't breath for a moment and time itself seemed to stop. The blonde that lay on the floor looked like a shell of his former self and Roy pushed his rage down in order to turn to his men. "Watch the door. Make sure that no one gets close. Don't kill if you can help it." He ordered, waiting as his men left the room with silent nods before turning to Edward. He was naked and his tan skin was covered in dry blood and bruises. He hadn't stirred or showed any sign of life since they came in and his golden hair was dulled with grime and browned with blood. It had been cut, and instead of his normal long tresses – a style that he had had for almost as long as Roy had known him – now, his blonde hair was about the length of Roy's own.

Moving closer, Roy shrugged out of his thick military coat and draped it over Edward's naked body before kneeling beside him. Roy peeled his left glove off and reached out to press his fingers to Ed's neck, sighing in relief as he found a pulse there. "Edward, wake up." He called out, tapping the blonde's shoulder. He was scared to shake him, he seemed to fragile and broken already, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt him more. He got no response and tried again, this time slightly shaking him, but was still met with a deafening silence. He looked up at the door with he heard footsteps outside.

"Don't shoot!" The voice was female, and scared. "I just want to help him."

Roy turned back to Edward, Havoc and Hawkeye could deal with whoever was outside. The collar around Ed's neck caught his attention due to the small array on the back, one that Roy had seen on the previous slaves that had been rescued. It was alchemically sealed to shut, but Roy couldn't help but wonder why Edward hadn't just used his alchemy to take it off. Why had he stayed here? What stopped him fighting?

"Sir?" Hawkeye's soft voice made him look up from Edward. She was standing by the door with a woman about Ed's age. The redhead was looking nervously between Roy and Edward and he instantly got defensive before he noticed the collar around her neck too. She seemed unharmed and in her hands was a basin of warm soapy water. "She says she's here to help."

The redhead nodded and looked at Roy again. "Its been my job since we were sold together. I... I get sent in after..." She paused, and looked sadly back at the unconscious male at Roy's side. When it was clear that she wasn't going to say anything else, Roy stood up, catching her attention again. He nodded to Hawkeye briefly – who returned to guard the door with Havoc.

"After what? What's he suffered?"

"Beatings mostly. He's been tortured and... Last night was one of the worst he's had. Our master was angry about Edward cutting his hair." The redhead said, looking tearfully down at the water in the basin between her hands. "Master liked his hair, its what he found so attractive about him."

"Attractive?" Roy asked, glancing back at Ed and gesturing for the girl to come closer. She did so without hesitation, kneeling by his side and dipping a cloth into the water, wringing it out before she moved Roy's coat down to Ed's hips and started washing his back. Beneath the dirt and blood, Roy could see angry cuts that he assumed could have only been made with a whip and he swallowed past the lump in his throat. There was also an angry looking burn across his ribs, almost like a brand, and the sick feeling was harder to swallow than the lump was.

The girl nodded sadly as she worked to try and clean Ed. "He rapes Edward, sir." Her voice was so quiet that Roy wasn't sure that he had heard her properly but when she looked up at him her eyes were filled with tears. "I've wanted so badly to help him. To get him out of here, but all I can do is try to clean his wounds and ease his pain." She sobbed, turning back to the blonde with a shake of her head. "He told to me to leave and I did. I was so scared that I just left him to suffer like this."

"That's Edward for you. He was never going to blame you, he wouldn't risk anyone else getting hurt." Roy said softly, sighing as he moved to the door. "Havoc, get a car here, and phone the hospital so they can prepare of Edward and the girl. Hawkeye, call Al and let him know that we've found his brother. We're getting them both out of here now."

"Al? He's alive?" Roy turned at the hoarse voice and his eyes met golden ones. The pain and sadness was obvious in those eyes, and Roy didn't miss the roughness of Ed's voice that hinted at sobbing and screaming. He moved to Ed and knelt beside the girl as she dropped the cloth back into the water.

"He's alive Ed. You'll see him soon, okay? We're getting you both out of here."

Edward pushed himself up onto his knees, blushing slightly as Roy's coat pooled at his hips, and Roy reached out to pull it up and around his shoulders, never letting his eyes linger on any of the marks tainting Ed's skin. He didn't have the right. "You shouldn't move too much. We don't know what injuries that you have yet."

"He's right, Edward. You were beaten badly last night." The girl at his side said, and Ed rewarded her concern with a small, weak smile.

"Don't worry Cara. I can handle it."

She scowled at him, but didn't reply as she reached into the water and took out the cloth again, gently washing away a streak of blood on his face with a sad smile. Roy watched them for a moment, saddened by how close they seemed. Not because of anything to do with jealously, but because he knew that they were close through shared horror and abuse. Cara didn't seem harmed, it seemed she'd been used for more domestic chores, but she had seen Ed beaten and bloody and raped and had stood by him, trying to ease his trauma as much as much as she could. Edward gently nudged her away and moved to his feet. Roy stood with him, and only just caught him as he slumped again, falling into Roy. He held the blonde up, his hands on Ed's arms to steady him. "Edward, stop. You're not strong enough right now."

Edward felt the blush warm his cheeks and he pulled Roy's coat around him tighter, resisting the urge to take in a breath and the scent of his commanding officer. The shiver assaulted him with no warning and caused pain to shoot through him from sore and tired muscles. Cara moved from his side the minute that she saw his shiver, moving across the room to pick up some clothes that had been left on a table by the door. They were plain, grey slacks and a white vest but it was better than standing naked in Roy's arms. Cara moved to Ed and took his arm, holding the clothes out to him. "I didn't have time to clean all the blood from you, but you need to stay warm."

Ed waited until Roy released him cautiously before taking the clothes from Cara. Roy left the room, and Edward heard him talking quietly to Riza and Havoc but he couldn't make out their words. Edward couldn't shake the feeling that this was a dream, that he had made all this up. "Where is he?" He asked Cara quietly as she helped him to dress. He would have been embarrassed but this was becoming something of a routine for them now. She just shook her head and shrugged, informing him that Hal had stormed out, locking Edward in the lounge and slamming the door shut as he had left. He hadn't returned home yet. She helped him to walk towards the doors, and when Mustang saw them he moved to Edward's side instantly. Ed handed him the thick black coat back, and Mustang took it, before draping it over Ed's shoulders again.

"You need it more than me right now." He said in way of an explanation. Hawkeye was at his side, Havoc lingering by the front door. The house was silent and Edward tugged Mustang's coat tighter around himself, the familiar smell of his commanding officer offering him more comfort than he cared to admit. Before they could acknowledge each other, or even for Havoc or Hawkeye to greet Ed the front door crashed open. The noise was so loud that Edward jumped in fright, his eyes instantly landing of those of his master, and the hatred in them made him cower back slightly. He pulled Cara with him, nudging her behind him as Havoc and Hawkeye had their guns trained on the man. Roy moved in front of Ed, and the blonde was left staring at the back of his head for a moment before he peeked around the side of him.

"Well well well. What have you gone and done now, my Golden Star?" Hal purred it, and Edward forced himself to not flinch, but after last night his fear of the man had spiked. The plan with his hair completely backfired on him. "I assume that you have come for your dog?" Hal directed this question at Mustang, and Edward glanced up at the man when he sensed him tense. A dog of the military, he'd been called that before, they both have. So why did Mustang seem so angry about it now? Ed glanced at Cara, wondering how much the girl had told his commanding officer of his abuse. He'd woken up to voices and it was only when Al's name was said that he was really able to make any sense of what was being said. What did Mustang know about what had happened?

"How about we make a deal?" Hal spoke again, a bright smile on his face.

"A deal?" Mustang almost laughed, his disbelief clear. "You have two choices, you let my men take you in for the brass to deal with, or I kill you here and now for the crimes you've committed against a military officer, and to this civilian."

Hal just smirked at Mustang, shaking his head. "No. I think I would much rather go free and continue to live..."

"I don't give a shit what you would rather!"

Ed flinched a little when Mustang shouted, not used to hearing him swear, or to the anger in his voice. Yeah, they fought and shouted at each other all the time, but that was no more to do with a force of habit than any real animosity between them. It had been a while since Edward had heard Mustang sound this pissed and that was a surprise to him. Hal's good nature seemed to slip away now, his own ever-present anger finally rearing its head. An anger that Ed had grown so used to seeing, to receiving. Clenching his hands into fists, Edward glared at the other blonde, who still stood by his front door, two trained handguns aimed at him, and he at least seemed to have the sense that if they chose to shoot, they wouldn't miss.

"Havoc, take Fullmetal and the girl out to the car." Mustang commanded, not taking his glare off of the man in front of him, his hands ready to snap in their white gloves. Havoc moved to them, and Edward watched as Cara hesitated before moving further away from their master and closer to the safety that the military personnel was offering. Ed didn't move, just kept looking between Mustang and Hal, a morbid curiosity of what would happen. Hal couldn't be stupid enough to attack, surely? He was stuck, and Mustang was right. He didn't really have all that many options, but would his commander actually kill the man in front of him? Edward knew enough about Mustang's past to doubt that he would kill someone willingly, but he was still a soldier, and soldiers had to kill at times. Would now be one of those times? A hand on his flesh arm pulled Ed from his thoughts and he looked at Havoc, who was waiting for him to respond, a concerned frown on his brows.

"Come on Boss, lets get you outta here." Havoc said to him softly, timid, as if speaking to him would cause him to shatter in front of their eyes. While Ed appreciated the concern – which he would never admit – it pissed him off that they were all tiptoeing around him. Scowling, Edward turned to go. He swallowed the fear of turning his back on an enemy, one that had caused so much pain already. He was safe. Hal wasn't getting past Hawkeye. A quiet and yet cruel chuckle made him freeze and glance over his shoulder. As he did he saw Hal slip out the small remote from his pocket and look directly at Ed, a glint in his eyes betraying just how much he enjoying hurting the younger blonde.

"He's going nowhere. I know that he's the main prize, that the girl is just a bonus. Why do you think I bought them together?" Hal laughed, waving the remote in front of Mustang, well out of reach. It had two buttons on it, and Edward had seen him press one more than he cared to think about, but he had never touched the other. Ed wasn't sure that he wanted to know what it would do. "Now, back to my deal. I will allow you to take my toys away on the condition that I go free."

"Your toys?" Hawkeye snapped, her gun steady in her hands. "They are people! Not anyone's toys. You are not getting away with the disgusting acts that you have committed here."

Hal glared at the women, threw a glance at Mustang – who Ed could only assume was giving nothing away in his face – and finally rested his gaze on Edward again.

"I go free, or we both die here." Hal said, looking back at Mustang with a cruel smile, and Edward fully realised how unhinged this man was. He didn't have time to think about it though, because Hal pushed the button on the remote that he had grown so fond of. Edward tried not to scream at the pain, tried to stay on his feet. He didn't want any of them to hesitate long enough for Hal to get away, but the agony that burned along every nerve from the shocks was too much for his exhausted, weak body and he dropped to his knees, his eyes shut against the tears as he screamed. Instantly Havoc was on his knees next to him, and Mustang was shouting his name but it took a moment after the attack for Edward to fully focus again. He was panting, his muscles aching as he tried to force himself to speak; to tell them that he was okay – even if it was clear how not okay he was.

"Boss, stay awake. Come on, we'll get you out of here." Havoc was speaking to him softly, hands on his shoulders as Edward took in heavy breaths through his nose. He just wanted to sleep.

"So what will it be, General? I can keep doing this. I can make him scream until his voice breaks and I don't think you'll risk shooting me, not when this button-" Hal paused, moving his thumb to hover over the two button with a grin, "-will kill him within seconds."

Edward looked back at the scene behind him, catching Hal's look, and then meeting Mustang's eyes as the dark haired man turned to look at him. There was too many emotions in those eyes for Edward to even begin to understand, and before he could even isolate a single emotion, Roy's typical apathetic mask slipped back into place. He couldn't be considering letting Hal go, could he? The young blonde pushed himself to his feet a little unsteadily, pushed his aching legs to Mustang's side and stopped just a little in front of him, forcing him to look at him.

"You can't consider this. If he gets away we both know..." Edward started, resisting the urge to reach out and hold Roy's arm. He didn't get to finish his sentence because of the second shock that pushed him to his knees. He was faintly aware that he'd slumped into Roy's chest, that the older man had safely lowered them to the ground, his strong arms holding Edward even as the world around him blurred with tears. He was faintly aware of his own panting breaths as the pain slipped again and of the low, angry growl from the man who's arms he was currently in. The noise was comforting in a way.

Mustang was tense, Edward could feel it in his muscles. He was only just holding onto his anger, only just keeping it under control and this close to the man it was easy to hear the constant rasping of the gloves as Mustang tried to control his anger, tried to stop himself from snapping and setting the whole place on fire. Edward tried to move, to pull himself from the man's arms but it was a struggle. It felt like he was wrapped in cotton wool, and he desperately wanted to just sleep. A laugh behind him made his whole body tense. There was no humour in it, and Edward closed his eyes against the wave of nausea that it caused. He had grown to know that laugh and it never led to good things.

"Aren't his screams just delicious?" Hal hummed. "You should hear him begging. All the little noises he makes are just delightful. But then you might already know that, right General? You're Roy Mustang, heard you've been fucking him since he was a boy. Is that why you are so angry right now? Don't you like to share?"

"Shut up." Ed wanted to snap it, but his voice was weak and it came out sounding closer to a sob than a threat. Roy hadn't moved from Ed's side and the blonde felt the older man hold him tighter when he spoke. Damnit Ed didn't want sympathy, least of all from this bastard, but the older man was basically holding him up, and Edward couldn't remember the last time that he felt so safe.

"He is a spectacular human, isn't he General? Even with the scars and metal. He is powerful, strong and gorgeous. You can't imagine the thrill of having him so helpless beneath you."

"I said shut up!" Ed shouted it this time, and at least it didn't sound as broken as before. Hal just laughed at him, letting his eyes trail down Ed's body. Edward pushed himself onto his feet, refusing to look so defeated in front of this man, but as exhausted as he was, he stumbled slightly, ignoring how Mustang instantly held him steady. The man was a solid wall of support at his back, and Edward wanted to do nothing more than bury himself in that warm, and the scent of Roy that clung to him. "He's my commanding officer, and there is nothing else between us than that. I got into the military because of my skill."

Edward didn't notice the flicker of hurt and disappointment in Roy's eyes before he quickly buried those feelings, but Hawkeye did. She saw almost everything that Roy was feeling, but she saw that Edward had seemed to relax in her friend's arms. It was because of this, and the way he didn't bat Roy's hands off him that Riza didn't fully believe him, she didn't want to believe it. Roy was her closest friend and she knew it would crush him if Edward saw nothing more than a professional relationship between them. It was clear that the blonde was exhausted as he swayed on his feet, and Roy's emotions were only just being kept in check. They needed to get out of here. Edward needed to be seen by a doctor, and he needed to be resting somewhere safe.

"Fullmetal, go with Havoc." Roy tried again, meeting Riza's gaze briefly, before he looked back at the blonde in front of him, who had turned to face him with a frown. Roy could have wept to finally look into those golden eyes, he had dreaded that he would never see them again. There was fire still, and that was such a relief that Roy had to focus on not reaching out to Edward and embracing him. It wasn't his place, he had no right. It was one thing to support him when he was injured and in pain, but to just hold him was not something he had permission to do.

"Cause that worked so well last ti..." Edward's words were cut off by the bark of Hawkeye's gun, and he turned to see what had happened. Roy couldn't stop himself from reaching out and stopping him though, his gloved hand on Edward's cheek, turning his face away from the sight of Hal staring lifelessly up at the ceiling, a bullet hole in his head. Blood and shards of bone sprayed out behind him against the glass. He didn't want Edward to see this. He wanted to protect the blonde from any more horror. Hadn't he suffered enough? Edward had frozen at the touch, and Roy fondly watched as the young man fought through so many emotions before settling on surprise. The sudden urge to kiss him was so powerful that Roy almost did just that, only stopping himself at the sound of Havoc opening a door behind them and leading the girl out.

"You don't need to see that, Ed." Roy said softly, lowering his hand slowly, reluctantly. He then gave Edward a gentle push towards the door that Havoc had went through before moving to Hawkeye. "Thank you Riza, I couldn't risk using my alchemy at such a close range." He said, looking down at the lifeless eyes of the man who had horrifically abused the man that he kept telling himself that he didn't love. Couldn't love.

Edward turned to watch Roy move closer to Hawkeye, flesh hand raised to lightly brush the warm that was spreading through his cheek where just moments ago Roy's hand had been. He couldn't understand the action, or the emotions that were going through the older man's mind, flickering in his eyes like a camera reel. He had wanted to kiss his commanding officer so badly just now that Edward wasn't sure what he would have done if Roy hadn't moved away. Angry at himself for his stupid feelings, Edward glanced at the body of his abuser. Roy didn't want him to see this, and he could understand why, but Edward needed to see it. Needed to know that this man was dead, that he wouldn't appear somewhere months down the line to hurt him again.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Edward looked back at Mustang and Hawkeye. "There's a body in the garden." He said, lowering his gaze as the two soldiers turned to look at him. The guilt was crippling. That body was his doing. "He was just a kid and that bastard..." He shut his eyes, cursing himself and his damn tears. His flesh knuckles ached from how tightly he clenched his fist. "If he could get a proper burial that would be nice." He finished lamely, turning on his heel without looking back at Hawkeye or Roy and stormed out of the house. Havoc was smoking by the car, Cara was sitting inside, her head in her hands. Edward didn't acknowledge Havoc, choosing to slip into the back of the car and slid along to sit in comforting silence with Cara. He was so tired.


	11. Part 1: Chapter 11

A/N: So here's another chapter! I'm away on holiday for a week so it might be a little longer than I normally take to post something, but I'm taking my laptop with me so I'll hopefully be able to get loads more done while I'm relaxing in the sun! :) Thank you again to everyone that is still taking the time to read and comment on this. I absolutely adore hearing from you all!

 **Chapter 11**

Roy led Riza out of the house once the military police had shown up. They had informed the officers of what had happened, leaving out the specifics of Edward's abuse before leaving the clean up to them. He had headed out to the car then, which Havoc was standing by seemingly at ease but to the trained eye Havoc was still on alert, just waiting for the slightest bit of danger. The girl was asleep in the back of the car, her head resting against the window. Edward was at her side, his elbows on his knees and his hands fisted into his now short blonde hair. Roy hesitated, watching the young man for a moment before turning to Havoc and nodding. Roy then got in the car, next to Edward, with Havoc in the passenger seat and Riza taking the wheel.

Edward didn't speak, and Roy wanted to reach out. He wanted to comfort him but he had no idea what he could say to make things better. There was nothing. With sigh, Roy did think of something to say to the blonde.

"We found Alphonse in the warehouse. I don't know how long after you were taken, but we managed to get him to the hospital." Roy said, watching as Edward's head shot up fast enough that it should have caused whiplash, wild amber eyes meeting his. "They had to perform surgery, and he was in a coma for a couple of weeks, but he is home now with Miss Rockbell watching him. He will no doubt be weak still, but I have been assured that he will recover fully."

Roy watched Edward as he spoke, watching the smile on his face. _Gods_ he had missed that smile. Edward's relief was so clear, it was written in every aspect of him and that in itself, that love for his brother was enough to make Roy smile back at the blonde.

"Thanks." Ed mumbled, looking away again after a moment. "I didn't know if he was even alive. I thought I'd gotten him killed after everything. How pissed was Winry? Cause honestly it might have been better if you had left me there." Ed muttered, forcing a small laugh. Roy winced at the thought and looked out of the window to his left.

"She wasn't angry. Not at you at least. She cares for you both, she was sick with worry, but she seems like a strong girl. She has been helping console your brother since he woke up, stopping him from exhausting himself by hunting for you." Roy said, watching the blonde reflection nod. There was a stretch of silence before Edward spoke again.

"Who was she pissed at? She couldn't be pissed at Al, could she? He had just followed along with another of my stupid ideas." Roy didn't answer him, and just watched the fields go by as Hawkeye headed back towards the city. "Mustang, was she pissed at you? Why" Ed demanded, taking Roy's silence for the truth that he hadn't said.

"Miss Rockbell was simply upset and worried for you both." Roy answered. It was all he was going to say on the matter. The girl had been right to be angry at him, but seeing Edward naked and covered in wounds was causing him enough guilt without going over what the girl had shouted at him. She had been right of course. This was his fault. He'd sent this young, brilliant man into that warehouse. He had gotten a child involved in the military.

"Mustang, what the hell did she say? This isn't your fault."

"Get some rest, Edward. Its still another few hours until we get back to the city."

* * *

Alphonse could not sit still. He had gotten the call from Hawkeye telling him that they had found Edward. That he was alive, hurt and possibly going to be in a bad way, but that he was alive. The moment the line had went dead he had went charging into the kitchen where Winry was cooking lunch and told her everything. She didn't seem too surprised but he couldn't focus on that. His brother was alive. It didn't take much before they were both at the hospital, waiting for Mustang and his team to show up. Hawkeye had said that they would be coming here, that Edward and the girl found with him had needed to get checked first. He had no idea where they found him, but he was getting impatient. He could feel Winry's eyes following him, could feel her concern.

"Al, sit down. They said that they were a few hours out of the city." She said softly. It had been two hours since they had gotten the call, and she desperately wanted to see Edward, but she was also aware that Al still needed to rest. He had been through a lot, and this constant worry wasn't good for him, more so since he was pacing back and forth in front of her. He stopped when she spoke, frowning as he looked at her.

"They didn't say that." He said, watching as her eyes widened slightly. "Winry, what do you know?"

"Al..."

"Winry! Tell me."

The girl sighed, rubbing a hand over her face. She didn't speak for a long moment, and Alphonse felt himself getting more and more annoyed. He was about to demand that she answer him when she spoke again.

"Mustang found something in your apartment when you were in the coma." She started, "I heard him talking to Havoc saying that it told them when those guys were going to attack again. They set up an ambush and managed to get information out of the guy who took Ed. They found out who had him, found out where the guy was staying. Mustang phoned when you were asleep and told me that they were going to check it out."

"What? Why didn't you tell me any of this?" Al snapped. "You've known all along that this was the plan? Before I even woke up. Why would you keep that from me, Win?"

"I didn't want to tell you Al, because I knew that you would want to run off and help. That you wouldn't take no for an answer. I didn't want you to get your hopes up in case Ed wasn't at that house. You need to rest, and we both know that if you knew you would have went along with Mustang regardless of what any of us told you. You almost died, Al. I wasn't about to let you risk that again."

Al paused, wanting to argue but he could understand why she did what she did. She was right, he would have went charging off in search for Ed, and did he really want to see whatever conditions his brother was being made to live in? Al sighed and sunk down into the seat next to a tearful Winry. He didn't hesitate when he pulled her closer into a hug.

"Its okay. I get it, Win." He told her, feeling her relax in his arms. They didn't stay like that for long. After a few moments the doors opened, Hawkeye coming in first with Mustang close behind her, a blonde bundle in his arms. Al shot to his feet, but froze when he looked at his brother. He was pale, his dirty hair cut short and there was bruises and cuts all over him. His eyes were shut, and if it hadn't been for Hawkeye telling him that his brother was alive over the phone, Al thought that he could easily believe that the form in Mustang's arms was no longer drawing breath. He felt Winry's hand in his as Mustang came closer. Al met the older man's eyes, recognising the grief that he felt himself and suddenly a thought came to him. Mustang cared for his team, of course he did, but would he care this much about the others. Did Mustang care more for his brother than he let on? He knew Edward had feelings for the other man, denying them until he was blue in the face, but Al knew his brother. Was it possible that the feelings were returned?

"He fell asleep on the journey back." Mustang explained as Al reached out to touch Ed's face. His skin was warm, and the action of touching him made Ed's eyelashes flutter against his cheeks as he slowly woke up. Golden eyes looked up at Al, unfocused at the start but steadily gaining awareness of his surroundings. Alphonse watched as his brother first curled up into Mustang's chest, watched as the older man fought against his feelings, refusing to let them show so publicly. Al watched as Ed opened his eyes fuller and finally took in Al's face.

"Al?" His voice was bleary, quiet. Al just nodded and silently watched as Edward finally realised that he was being carried – bridal style – by the man that Al had heard him moan in his sleep on a number of nights. The heat rose to his cheeks, tinting them pink as Mustang lowered him to stand on his own, his hands on Ed's back as if to steady him. The brothers didn't waste any time in throwing their arms around each other, their childhood friend soon joining them. Roy stepped back a bit, silently.

"Ed! I was so worried. Are you okay? What happened?" Al demanded, pulling away a little, just enough to look at his brother. He was thinner and his skin wasn't quiet the right colour. There was a bruising cut across his head, and what looked like bites on his skin. There was a metal collar around his neck, the skin underneath looking almost burnt. "Your hair. What did they do to you?"

"I cut it." Ed muttered, looking away, his eyes moving away and meeting Mustang's briefly before Ed pulled that gaze away also. Alphonse didn't understand the look that passed between them, but he knew that Mustang must know what happened, he must know what kind of hell his brother had been through. "Its okay though. I'm okay."

"General, what happened to him?" Al asked, ignoring the light smack Edward gave him.

"Al! I said its fine. You don't need to know. I'm back now."

After a pause Mustang nodded, his eyes flicking between the brothers. "I'm sorry Alphonse, but it's really not my place to disclose such information."

That was not the answer that he was looking for, but before he could demand more, a nurse called out for Edward to go with her. Alphonse watched as Ed hesitated, distrustful as ever. "Brother, you need to go. I can come with you, but if you don't want me know what happened to you, perhaps the General?"

Ed shook his head and let out a deep breath. "Yeah... I guess if you wouldn't mind, Mustang?" He said after a pause, not looking at Al so not seeing the slightly hurt look on his face. "I mean... Just... I have this thing with needles... And I assume you don't want a compliant about me like hitting a nurse or something." He rushed to add, blushing again. Roy just smiled at him.

"If it will save me any more paperwork then by all means I will stop you attacking hospital staff."

Alphonse watched as they both walked away, sighing. He turned back to Winry who had stayed silent through everything, returning her attempt at a smile. What had happened to Edward that was so bad that he didn't want to tell Al? Maybe he would tell him later? Perhaps it was just that he didn't want to talk about his abuse at the hospital. Sitting back down, Al noticed Havoc and a girl coming towards them. She was pretty, about Ed's age and had a metal collar around her throat just like Ed's. Another slave? Al did admit that he recognised her face.

"Al, Winry, this is Cara." Havoc said as they stopped in front of them, gesturing to the girl at his side. Cara offered them a small smile, but her eyes never left Al. It was uncomfortable, having a stranger look so closely at him. "We found her with the boss. They'd been sold together."

"I was at the warehouse." Cara explained, and suddenly it all made sense. That's why Al knew her face. She was one of the civilians that they had tried, and failed to save. "I've been with Edward since the start. I think they were just using me to try and keep him in line."

That made sense. Ed wouldn't kick off and risk someone else's health. He would happily throw caution to the wind when it came to his own well-being, but if someone else was in the equation he was always hesitant. Alphonse smiled at her. She seemed unharmed, and that was a small relief. Seeing other people hurt always bothered him, and Al knew that if anyone got hurt because he stepped out of line, or had done something, then his brother would never forgive himself.

"I'm sorry that we didn't stop them." Al said quietly, his own guilt lingering with their failure.

"Don't be. You did everything you could. Your brother said that you had been shot, can hardly blame you for not catching the bad guys after that. I'm glad to see that you're okay though. Edward and I... I think we became quite close. I was always sent in afterwards to tend to him."

"Tend to him? What happened to him? Why did he cut his hair? And why does it look like he's covered in bite marks." Al asked, hoping that she would tell him what Edward and the General didn't. He felt Winry place her hand on his leg, but he didn't look at her, his eyes searching the girl in front of him. Cara looked down after a moment, breaking off all eye contact. She stayed painfully silent though.

"He was raped." Winry spoke, her voice soft, quiet and broken. Al froze. His heart stuttered and his eyes widened. Cara didn't have to confirm Winry's suspicions because it all made sense. Horrific, terrible sense. Nausea swamped him, and the whole spun too fast and he was very relieved that he was already sitting down because he was sure that his legs wouldn't have held him upright just then. He didn't want to even consider that. He'd never had sex himself, and he knew that Ed only had a few times before. To have that forced on him was disgusting. It brought tears to his eyes and suddenly he couldn't stop them. They left wet tracks down his face as Winry curled up against him, her own tears leaving his top damp. Cara sat next to him, and the three of them sat like that in silence, save for the small whimpers of their crying.

* * *

Edward was asked to lie down on one of those awful examination beds. Roy stayed back, lingering by the door as if he was intruding, but if Ed was honest to himself, he wanted the older man closer. He was terrified, and not only because of his usual apprehension of doctors and hospitals, but because he knew that he would need to talk about what happened to him. He would need to go over all his wounds and the story of how he got them and he would rather go hide in a dark, dank cave for the rest of his miserable life than talk to anyone about what had been done to him – especially a stranger. The doctor was a young woman, and that made Ed want to talk even less, but she had sat down next to him to look at the skin around the collar, a frown on her pretty face.

"Major Elric, wasn't it?" She asked, looking at him and smiling, before glancing over at Roy. "And you are his commanding officer, correct? As the Major is an adult you don't have to be here for this bit."

"It's okay." Ed said in a rush, pushing up onto his elbows and trying to ignore the way his skin pulled painfully around the burn on his ribs. "Truth is that I'm not a good patient. Better if someone is here." He mumbled, blushing slightly and carefully avoiding Roy's eyes. The doctor paused for a moment before she nodded.

"Well as long as you are okay with it." She said, looking back at Edward. "From what I can see of the skin around your neck, it will heal and it shouldn't scar. Its fairly superficial – as are the bruises from the... bites?" She guessed, nodding sadly as Edward looked away. "I've been informed that there are other injuries? I'll need to see them all to check them."

No. God no. He couldn't do this. Edward sat up, his heart racing in a panic. He couldn't take his clothes off and show the signs of abuse to this stranger. He couldn't. By the time he was on his feet, fully intending on fleeing from the room, Roy was at his side, dark eyes meeting his. He swallowed, forced himself not to cry from the sheer force of his panic and held Roy's gaze.

"This is entirely confidential, Edward. She just needs to make sure the wounds are clean, make sure that they don't get infected. You don't need to talk about any of it yet, okay?" Roy said, and Edward blinked dumbly up at him. He wanted out of here, the walls were closing in on him but he closed his eyes, breathed in deep and held it. When he let it out, he nodded and peeled off his top, opening his eyes and clutching the fabric tightly in his automail hand. He turned his back to the doctor, flinched at her gasp and dropped his gaze to the floor.

"What on earth...?"

"A whip." Edward answered before she could even really ask him. He didn't want to talk about his abuse. He wasn't going to talk about it, but he figured that if he just spoke about what caused the injuries that it would be enough. He didn't see what the doctor was doing, or thinking. He felt Roy at his side, solid, steady and he clung to that feeling. Roy supported him, without even touching him and that kept him grounded, kept his panic back behind some wall that only just held it.

"And the burn? This is fairly fresh."

Edward nodded, trying to force the memory back and out of his head. His jaw clenched as the tears stung his eyes and he wanted to run away and hide somewhere. He wanted to hide his shame, his wounds, needed to hide it and stop anyone seeing them, stop them pitying him, judging him. "A fire poker. That had been left in the fire." He said, his voice hoarse and quiet. He tried to pretend that he didn't hear the sad noise that the doctor made. It continued this way for each injury. Sometimes the doctor would clean one, or put a cream on another. Paper stitches were applied to the cut on his head. Just as Edward shrugged back into his top and was about to dart out of the room, Mustang spoke for the first time since the doctor had started her exam.

"May I request a blood test too?"

Edward snapped his head to look at Mustang so fast that his hair almost smacked the doctor in the face. He had gotten this far without any needles and now the bastard was trying to get one stuck into him. What the hell was his problem?

"For what in particular? I don't see any wounds that require it?" The doctor replied, and Edward wanted to thank her and drag Mustang out of here kicking and screaming. He did not need a fucking blood test. Before he could inform them both of that, Mustang spoke again and everything in Ed turned to ice.

"He was raped."

"Ah. Of course. Let me just go and grab the stuff." The doctor said and was on her feet and out of the room before Edward could get his head around Roy's words.

"What the _fuck_ , Mustang?" He practically screeched it, his hands in fists at his sides, and his rage making him want to smack the smug bastard in front of him. Although, he didn't look so smug at that moment, he looked haunted, exhausted and so sad. It was enough of a shock that it almost put the fire of Ed's anger. Almost. "I don't need a fucking blood test, and how the hell do you even know that? Where do you get off on accusing something like that?"

"Other than the position I found you in, Edward?" Mustang sighed, running a hand through his hair and Edward pulled his glare away. Shit. Of course. Mustang had found him naked and bloody and bruised, only just waking up from being knocked out. Only hours after the rape. "Your friend told me when I enquired about your hair. And while I can not imagine what you are feeling, you do need this blood test."

"Like hell I do!" Edward snapped. Anger was safe. He knew how to handle his anger. It had been there for so long that it was now almost a part of him. "What good with sticking a needle in me do, anyway?" He didn't realise that he was shouting until Roy spoke again, softly and reluctantly.

"Have you never considered what you might have caught? Its fairly easy to catch a range of diseases from that Edward. A blood test is better than the other exams that a doctor might wish to you put you through."

The doctor came back in then, cutting off anything Edward could say. He didn't know what to say though. How was he meant to reply to that? He was barely coping with the fact that it happened, let alone considering all the things that could do wrong because of it. Ed slumped back down to sit on the bed as the doctor set up the needle and vials for collecting his blood, talking him through was she was going to do, but he was barely listening. It was only when she picked up the needle that he jerked back a little, scowling. He froze when Roy held his hand out to him, and looked up at him bewildered.

"Take my hand in your automail one." Roy said, waiting until Edward did as he was told, still looking up confused. "Focus on not breaking it. It'll take your mind off the needle."

Smart. Edward had to admit that it was smart. It was what Al did too, but Edward had a feeling that Mustang hadn't gotten this tip from his brother. He closed his eyes and nodded to let the doctor know that he was ready. As ready as he would ever be. He swallowed the whimper as the needle pierced his skin, his fists clenching automatically until he heard Mustang grunt in pain and he pushed all his focus onto that. Cling to him, but not too tightly. Too tight and it would break – and wasn't that just a fucking perfect metaphor for his life.


	12. Part 1: Chapter 12

**A/N:** I'm home from my lovely week in the sun. I didn't get any writing done while I was away as my boyfriend commandeered my laptop to play games on (he's not a lover of the sun being the gorgeous redhead that he is) so its a good thing I have a chapter or two sitting ready and waiting for all you lovely people. I hope you enjoy this latest instalment, and I'll be sure to get right back to working at this fic for you all. Thank you again for all the support. Keep it coming :)I'm home from my lovely week in the sun. I didn't get any writing done while I was away as my boyfriend commandeered my laptop to play games on (he's not a lover of the sun being the gorgeous redhead that he is) so its a good thing I have a chapter or two sitting ready and waiting for all you lovely people. I hope you enjoy this latest instalment, and I'll be sure to get right back to working at this fic for you all. Thank you again for all the support. Keep it coming :)

 **Chapter 12**

The door crashed loudly against the wall as Edward threw it open. Loud enough to startle those waiting but Edward paid no attention to any of them, storming over to where Cara was sitting with his brother and Winry, both of whom had clearly been crying and looked up at him with varying degrees of pity. He was going to kill her. How fucking dare she? Mustang was on his heel, he knew, but he could at least get one punch in, right? A hand on his shoulder stopped him short, and his rage boiled as he shrugged the hand off, trying to resist turning his fury onto Mustang for now.

"Edward... What's wrong?" Cara asked, standing up and moving to him as Al and Winry got to their feet.

"Who the hell do you think you are? Where the fuck do you get off telling my C.O every sordid little detail of what happened? And now apparently my little brother too!" Edward snapped, ignoring the shocked looks of everyone around him.

"Edward..." That was Mustang. _Fuck that bastard right now_.

Edward glared over his shoulder at Mustang, snarling. "Shut up!"

"I didn't want to upset you, Edward. I... Your commanding officer asked about your hair, I didn't know what to tell him." Cara said, stumbling over her words, desperately trying to let Edward know that she didn't mean any harm by what she had done.

"Yeah brother. She didn't even tell us. Winry guessed... Because of the bites." Al said softly, and Edward refused to look at his little brother, knew that it would break him to look into those eyes and see the pain in them. Pain because of what had happened to Ed. Pain that he had caused; not directly, but still because of him in the end.

"You had no fucking right! You didn't have to tell him a thing about my hair. He didn't need to know, and my brother doesn't need to know."

"Fullmetal, that is enough!"

It was an order, that was obvious, and Edward hated orders, but right now he didn't even think as he turned on Roy, an automail fist connecting with his jaw, splitting his lip. "I said shut up!"

"Brother!" Al snapped, rushing forward and grabbing Ed's arm. "What has gotten into you, Ed? We're family, why the hell shouldn't I know? Do you think I'm going to think less of you or something?" Mustang didn't speak, he just licked the blood from his lip and glared down at Ed, who glared back up at the older man, ignoring the thing inside him that wanted to curl up and sob until it died. He'd really just punched this gorgeous man. One that had just tried to help. One that had come to save him from his own personal hell. _Fuck._ Edward pulled his arm out of Al's grip and stomped towards the door. He needed to get the hell out of here. "Brother? Ed, where are you going?" Al shouted after him, but Edward ignored him, forcing back tears. He could cry somewhere else. There was too many eyes here.

"Edward Elric!" Winry snapped, charging after him as he came to a stop. He whipped round and glared at her, he was slightly taller, but the height did nothing but stop her anger. "Don't you dare leave this building without us!"

"Win..."

"Shut up Ed! Your little brother woke up from a coma just over a week ago! A coma, Ed, and since then he has done nothing but worry about you. I had to lie to him just to get him to stay at home and rest. The General has worked himself into the ground chasing up on leads – anything – to find you. We have spent the past month not even knowing if you were alive!" She was shouting at him, and his glare wasn't holding out. "And this girl has been through hell with you, Edward. She was kidnapped and sold like a fucking painting, so don't you dare try to turn her into a bad guy Edward. Don't you dare!" Winry paused for a deep breath, scrubbing her hand over her glistening eyes. When she spoke again, her voice was quiet and gentle. "Edward, we're your family, and we love you. Please don't shut us out. We just want to help you. Nothing that happened is your fault, just let us support you, Ed. Just let us in."

Edward looked away from the girl in front of him - her eyes were just too painful to look into in that moment – and let his gaze fall onto Roy who was watching them with that typical apathetic expression. It would have killed him to show any emotion, Ed was sure of it. At least looking over to Roy wasn't as painful as his childhood friend's tearful glare, or the tortured expression his brother was giving him. Deep down, Edward knew that Winry was right. Of course she was. His abuse wasn't to be blamed on Cara, and Roy didn't deserve to deal with his anger. Hell he could get into so much shit for attacking his commanding officer. Of course Roy had hunted for leads. He was one of the team after all, and Edward had seen how devoted the team were to each other, Roy included. His men were his friends, his family.

It took almost all of his willpower to nod in response to Winry, and when he looked at her she was freely crying now. Sighing, he pulled her into a hug and he felt her bury her face into his neck as she cried; which couldn't have been comfortable what with the metal collar still around his neck.

"Yeah. Sorry. All of you." Edward muttered, letting his gaze move meaningfully to Cara and Roy. Cara smiled at him openly, nodding her acceptance of his apology. All he got from Roy was a slight nod.

"Lets get that collar off you, Brother." Al said as Winry pulled away and wiped her face. Edward let his brother move to him, watched as Al clapped his hands and pressed his fingers to the metal. The feeling of the alchemy, familiar and warm was nothing short of pure bliss and Edward had to fight against the urge to close his eyes in complete euphoria. The sound of the metal clicking open was enough to pull Edward from his thoughts as Al then timidly taking the collar away. He held it for a moment, not sure what to do with it, until Roy moved up and took it from him.

"We'll take them. They can be used as evidence when we lock away the rest of them." He said as Al moved to Cara to take off her collar. "It'll help in the trial. Not that any of them deserve one."

As Al came to give the second collar to Roy, Hawkeye came up to their little group and took them from him. She then handed him car keys and gave him a hard look.

"You should take the Elrics and Miss Rockbell home, and then go home yourself and get some sleep, sir. Havoc and I will see that Miss Davis gets home safely and we will deal with the rest of this until you return tomorrow." Riza's tone was the one that Edward knew as the one where she would word something as a request, or a suggestion, to her commanding officer and friend, but everyone that knew her knew that it was an order. She didn't have the rank to order Roy to do anything, but when she used that voice, Mustang almost always did as suggested – however begrudgingly that may be.

This time Roy didn't even try to argue it with her. He just sighed and nodded, offering her a small and tired smile before he looked over and met Ed's eyes. "Shall we?"

* * *

Edward was silent for the car journey home. He didn't want to have to talk to any of them about how he was feeling – something that he knew Al would understand, even if the kid would corner him with questions away from Roy. In that sense, Edward wanted to never leave the other man's side, just to prevent any questions from his brother. The silence in the car wasn't absolute. Winry was talking every now and then. Silly little things about her life. She never once asked how he was, or mentioned anything to do with the fact that he had been missing for a month. It felt like longer. It felt like a lifetime since he was last with these very people. It didn't feel like only a month ago that he was on the phone to Roy, cocky about his ability to end this there and then; confident enough that he didn't wait for backup.

The stopping of the car pulled Edward back into a reality and that was just a damn shame in all honesty. His gaze landed on the entryway of their apartment building and he let himself smile for just a moment. Alphonse and Winry got out of the car – each with a quiet thank you to Roy for the ride, and Edward reached out for his own door handle before he hesitated. There was so much that he wanted to say to the man that was sitting in the driver's seat next to him. There was so much that he felt; but how the hell was he meant to say any of what he wanted? How was he meant to thank Roy from saving him from that hell? There was no words that would ever be good enough for something like that; no way to repay that debt. Ed wasn't even sure that Roy knew how much his rescue meant to him. It wasn't just an escape from the torment and abuse, it was so much more. It was his life, because if Edward was being honest to himself, he would have rather died than lived the rest of his days like that. He wanted to thank Roy properly. He wanted to confess his feelings, to tell the older man that his stupid teenage crush was so much more now; that it was enough that he couldn't breathe sometimes. That the thought of him was sometimes all it took to have Ed rock hard and begging for relief.

So when he did finally speak, Edward was as surprised as Roy seemed with what actually came out of his mouth.

"Did you get the bod... Simon?" His voice wavered, but it didn't break and Edward thanked that small miracle.

"The child in the grave? Simon was his name?" Roy asked after a tense moment and Edward pulled his gaze from where he was giving Al a meaningful look that he knew he would understand to look at Mustang. "Yes. We got him. We weren't sure of who he was exactly, so we haven't been able to contact any family."

"There isn't any." Edward muttered, closing his eyes against the pain that shot through him at even the thought of Simon. His eyes shot open again when all he saw against the backs of his eyelids was the blood spurting from the child's neck. "His mother died when he was really young apparently. His father... was him. That monster was his dad."

This silence was awkward though, and it made Edward's skin itch.

"Simon's mum was one of Hal's slaves I guess. At some point. Poor kid never had any other kind of life than that." He heard himself say, dropping his gaze to rest on his legs; the grey slacks were a little too big on him, but then he had no doubt that he would have lost weight. It wasn't like Hal had wanted him to keep his strength up. He wanted him weak and tired.

"I'll make sure that he gets a proper burial." Roy was saying, and Edward was glad of that. The kid deserved something nice in his life; that fact that that 'something nice' was a proper grave was enough to make Edward want to vomit. There was another pause. "He looked like he was stabbed."

Edward nodded, looking back out of the window towards the doors that Al and Winry had vanished through, giving him a moment alone with the man that had saved his life. "He was. A letter opener." Ed mumbled, trying to force back the memories of that night. It was his fault. An innocent child was dead because of him; because he couldn't save him; because he fucked up. "I don't know what happened to it. I can't remember what we did with it but..." But it still would have had his fingerprints all over it, right?How the hell was he meant to explain _that_ to Mustang?

"But?"

"Nothing. Never mind. Thanks for the ride." Edward said, all at once and in the same breath. He needed out of that car. He needed to go bury himself in blankets in his bed and smothered in hugs from his brother; because honestly there was nothing more perfect in the world than a hug from Al who was wonderfully human again. "And for finding me. Just, don't tell the guys at the office about it all?"

"I wouldn't dream of it. What you want them to know is entirely up to you, Edward. It is not my place to give them any information." Roy was saying, and then he paused; stopped, but with an air that he wasn't quite done, and so Edward just opened the car door, not sure if he was ever going to continue. It was just as Ed had swung his legs out of the car that Mustang did talk again, and Edward forced himself to keep his gaze on the ground at his feet; memories of everything that had happened to him – and to Simon – were running around in his mind so fiercely that he wasn't sure that he could hold Mustang's eye without crumbling. "Edward, if you want to talk about anything that happened, I am also hear to listen to you. I'm not just here to order you around. You've been through too much; more than anyone should ever have to deal with it. If you don't want to talk to your brother, or to Miss Rockbell, try to remember that I will do what I can to make this easier for you."

Well that was fucking unexpected. When the hell did Roy fucking Mustang give a shit about how he was feeling? Edward froze as his mind tried to process all of that.

"Eh... Thanks." Edward replied lamely. Fucking hell, that was pathetic. "And sorry about, y'know, splitting your lip open and shit." He muttered, throwing a quick glance over his shoulder. It was true. He was sorry about it; the apology was pathetic too, when really what he wanted to do was lean over and suck on those same lips, to kiss them until they were slightly swollen from the attention, to nibble on Roy's bottom lip to fully express how sorry he really was.

Roy gave him a wicked smirk.

"I think it gives me a certain roguish charm."

Edward groaned and pushed himself out of the car, flipping Roy off as he did so and slamming the door behind him to mute the sound of Mustang's quiet chuckle. Fuck that bastard. Stomping up to the door of the apartment building, Edward forced himself to not turn around. He was not some love sick little teenage girl; he didn't need to see Roy watch him walk away; didn't need to see him pull the car away. He was a grown ass adult and he didn't have to, or even want to, look over his shoulder at the gorgeous man in that car. Except he did. _Fuck,_ did he want to look at Roy forever. Edward did feel himself smile a little though, as he heard the car drive away, so that was something that he couldn't just brush off.

The entryway of the building was a little cold – as it always was – but Edward didn't mind so much. He assumed that the chill would kill the heat in his cheeks before he made it to his apartment. The last thing that he wanted was for Al to make some stupid joke or comment about how he was completely and madly in love with Roy Mustang, because he wasn't. He wasn't. It was such a ridiculous idea that it made Ed's head hurt; and his heart, because hell, he was definitely heading that way, wasn't he?

What a bastard!


	13. Part 1: Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Alphonse kept such a close eye on his brother over that weekend that when Monday came, Edward couldn't put his uniform on and get out of the door fast enough, leaving with only a call behind him to a half asleep Alphonse about how he was going to work. It was a bleak Monday, the clouds covered with clouds that threatened the ground below but for the moment they didn't unleash their fury. A storm was coming; Ed could feel it in the ache of the automail. The flesh around the ports always ached when the weather was shit, but now the pain was kind of nice. It was an ache that he had grown up with, that he'd lived with for a good chunk of his life, and it was nice in a sense that that same pain was still there, niggling away at him enough that he was able to forget all the other injuries for a moment. He was normal for a while; as normal as he'd ever been that was.

The uniform covered most of his injuries thankfully, the collar was enough to even hide most of the bruising around his neck. Some of it was still on show, but not enough that he felt too self conscious about it. The tore and bruising skin around his flesh wrist was enough to make him tug on the sleeve in an attempt to hid it though. That particular injury was too much for him to look at, and he didn't want anyone asking about it or how he had gotten it. He had managed to sleep a little the night before, but had woken in a cold sweat at about four in the morning from nightmares; memories of what they had done to their mother, the creature that they brought back; memories of watching Simon die as he bled out in his arms. He hadn't bothered trying to back to sleep then, instead he had wandered through to make himself a coffee – forgetting that Winry was staying and sleeping on the couch. Except she wasn't asleep. Instead she was at the kitchen table, working on some automail that when he asked, she told him was for a customer in rush valley.

They had sat together in peaceful silence for a while, each sipping on their coffees, until Winry then spoke up, demanding to see Ed's automail. He let her, mostly because it had been a while since she had looked it over and done any maintenance on it. It was nice to have her working on it, even if she didn't nag at him for any of the scratches; Edward assumed that she was scared to kick off about them in case he had gotten them during his brief stint of slavery. If he was honest, Edward wasn't even sure where he got half of them, but it was nice regardless, just being with her. She spoke to him of her work and he smiled and listened to her. She was so damn passionate about anything that she could tinker with, and she was beautiful in it.

Central command loomed in front of him, pulling him from his thoughts as he flashed his pocket watch at the guards. The two soldiers barely looked at him before waving him through, and Edward just shoved his watch back into his pocket as he headed into the building. It didn't take him long to get to Mustang's office, but when he got there he hesitated outside. It had been a month since he had really seen any of these guys, and suddenly Edward found himself concerned about what they might know about what happened. Mustang had told him that he wouldn't tell them anything, but would Havoc or Hawkeye? How much did they even know themselves? He didn't want their pity. He wanted to just walk back into that office, the same old, loud-mouthed brat that he had always been. With a deep breath, Edward pushed the door open.

Roy had arrived at work early, much to Hawkeye's annoyance if her glare was anything to go by. He had been told to rest after all, but he was restless sitting around at home and he needed to do something. He needed to make sure that the man that had taken and sold Edward to that monster was locked away for the rest of his days. Thoughts of Edward had haunted him all night long. He didn't want to think about what the younger alchemist had suffered, but his mind was more than happy to torture him at any given chance. Normally that torture was reliving Ishbal. Fire and sand was normally what choked him in his dreams, but last night it was the same old torture he was used to with a dose of memories of Ed's screams as he was shocked. Eventually he had given up on trying to sleep. He had paperwork to go through at home anyway so that gave him a head start.

The coffee cup on his desk was regretfully empty; his vision was blurring over and over the same paragraph in the dull-as-dish-water report that he was reading so he knew that he needed a lot more coffee to get through it without succumbing to the urge to use it as kindling for the fireplace opposite his desk. The sound of his chair being pushed back was loud in the empty inner office as he moved to the door to lead him out to where the rest of his men were. He was pouring more coffee into his mug from the freshly brewed pot when the door burst open, and he very almost dropped the damn thing as he spun around, fingers poised to snap at whatever threat had burst through. Hawkeye was on her feet, her gun drawn and aimed at the door in the same moment.

It took a moment for his brain to catch up with the fact that they young blonde male that he was looking at it in the doorway was Edward. The relief in the room was an audible sigh, and Roy turned his back to the blonde for a moment while he let his racing heart settle. He heard Breda, Fuery and Falman all launch into questions and greetings for Edward, heard the smile in his voice as Edward replied to them. His own adrenaline was easing off, and slowly anger was slipping in. What the hell was Ed even doing here today? After everything he had suffered through for the last month, he should be at home; resting and spending time with his brother.

"So what you needing me to do, Mustang?" Edward was saying, tugging Roy from his thoughts. He slipped the professional masks on before turning to face his youngest subordinate.

"I need you to go home, Edward. I'm putting you on leave for a while to recover from everything that happened." Roy said coldly, flashing a meaningful look at Hawkeye to get her to give him the appropriate paperwork to fill in to make sure that Edward was paid for personal time off. He ignored Ed's spluttering as he moved back into his inner office. He'd just sat back down into his seat when Edward followed him, slamming the door shut hard enough that the picture he had on the wall wobbled. Roy kept his eyes on the report in front of him, pretending to read it but even if Edward's slightly uneven stomping feet weren't heading his way Roy doubted that he would have been reading the damn thing either way.

"What the fuck do you mean 'you're putting me on leave'?" Edward snapped, using his best Roy Mustang impression to quote his own words back at him. Roy still didn't look up though. He just sipped his coffee before he put it down and flicked to the next report.

"Putting you on leave means that you are no longer on active duty and I want you to go home and..."

A steel fist slammed down on the desk, stopping him in his sentence as he looked up at the angry glare on Edward's face.

"Don't fucking patronise me, Mustang. I know what fucking leave is. Why the hell are you putting me on it?" The blonde shouted, eloquent as always.

Roy shot the young blonde a bored look, which seemed to only irritate him more. Sighing, Roy dropped his gaze back to the report in front of him. Edward could be so brilliant one moment and then such a fool the moment after, and it was really exhausting to keep up with at times. How was he meant to get Ed to actually accept that he maybe wasn't fit for work just now? There was no talking him into any kind of rest. Roy didn't have long to look at the report; or to think of a way to talk some sense into Edward. An automail hand swept the report away, knocking it – along with another stack of paperwork and the lamp – onto the floor.

"For once in your goddamn life Mustang, give me a fucking straight answer!"

"You're not fit for work. Is that straight forward enough for you?" Mustang snapped, louder than he had intended as he slammed his palms down onto the table and stood so that he could loom over the seething male. The height difference wasn't too extreme, but Roy was still – and probably would always be – taller than Edward, and while that would subdue a lot of people, Edward was forever defiant, and he was so full of fire that something as simple as being shorter than someone wasn't going to put that fire out.

"That's bullshit, Mustang, and you know it. I could still kick your ass and write a report about it for you at the same time."

"I find that hard to believe. You can barely write a report, Fullmetal." Roy growled. This was getting out of hand. He needed Edward at home, resting. He didn't need nor want Ed to be standing in his office having a shouting match with him. "That is also besides the point. You are not fit to be on active duty and you need to go home and rest."

"I have rested all weekend! Al barely let me out of his damn sight. If he could have pissed for me I'm pretty sure that he would of. I'm fine! I'm not even that injured and I've had enough rest to last me a lifetime! You can't just dismiss me, you bastard!" Edward shouted, and Roy loved how he looked like this; wild and fierce and powerful. He was a vision when he was fighting like this, and Roy would have relented and let him have his own way, if it wasn't for the bruises on his neck and the cut around his wrist. His injuries had a sobering effect on Roy, and he hated himself for his next move, but he didn't know how else to get Edward to listen.

Roy moved around his desk, moving to get up in Edward's personal space and grabbed his flesh wrist – possibly harder than he had wanted to, judging by Ed's wince. He lifted the arm, pulling the sleeve up to Edward's elbow to expose the jagged cut. He forced himself to ignore the guarded look in Edward's eyes.

"This is just one of your injuries Edward!"

"Its just a fucking cut. It's hardly g..."

"Shut up!" Roy shouted, interrupting Ed's protest and successfully getting his full attention. "Yes. It is just a cut, but you froze the moment I pointed it out. You've had a head injury also, so I have a good reason to believe that you may be recovering from a concussion, along with various other injuries, malnutrition and the emotional affects of what you have been through. Go home, Edward."

Edward stayed silent for a long moment, and when Roy released his arm he instantly covered the cut on his wrist with a look of – was that shame? Roy frowned, glancing down at the offending arm. Why would Edward be ashamed of a cut to his wrist, especially when the cut to his head – which was on show to everyone – did nothing to alter his confidence. Edward stepped back, shielding his wrist when he noticed Roy looking at it, and that only made him more curious about it.

"Well excuse me for not wanting to flaunt the cut caused by rope tied around my wrist while I was raped, Mustang." Edward snarled icily, flinching and pulling his gaze away when he spoke of the cause of the cut, and suddenly Roy wanted to take it all back. He wanted to rewind time and never have touched Edward's arm, let alone so brutally shove the aftermath of his abuse down his throat like that. "But at the end of the day, its a fucking cut. It's hardly going to stop me doing my job."

"Edward..."

"No." Ed muttered, refusing to look at Roy now as he tugged on his sleeve a little more, and Roy could taste his own guilt and shame. It tasted like bile and acid. "Go fuck yourself, Mustang."

Roy watched as Edward moved to the door, opening it without another word and slipping out of the room. The slam of the door never came as Edward left the door hanging open and Roy followed him out, ignoring the glances from the team. They would have heard most of what was said, and he hoped that they hadn't heard anything about Edward's injuries. They didn't know what had happened and Roy didn't want them to have to find out like that; by hearing their commanding officer tactlessly point them out to the victim of the abuse.

"Fullmetal, at least let Havoc or Hawkeye drive you home." Roy said, glad when Hawkeye moved to stand and get the keys to the military car that she had picked him up in that morning. Edward ignored them though, kept his head down and headed to the door. Something frail in Roy's chest wanted to curl up and die right there and then. He needed to make sure that Ed got home safe. "Edward.."

Ah, there was the slam of a door. Roy closed his eyes, inhaling a deep breath as he ran his hand through his hair. That had gone so badly. He knew that Edward was difficult at times, but nothing could have prepared him for that. Letting the breath out in a sigh, Roy turned to his men, all of whom where watching him with a range of expressions on their faces; although they were all of a similar idea. They were pissed at him, no doubt fully understanding that the change in Edward was completely his doing. He couldn't even be annoyed with them. They were right after all. He had royally messed that up.

* * *

Roy had tried to focus on his work for the rest of the day, but he caught his attention wandering to the phone more than once. He had no idea what Ed would have told Alphonse, and Roy had no doubts that the younger brother would be just as fiercely protective of his brother. It was that thought that stopped Roy from phoning the Elrics in an attempt to apologise to Edward. It was cowardly, yes, but he didn't want to have to face Alphonse's wrath, and so he tried in vain to focus on the paperwork, knowing that if he didn't make some progress with it that he would have to take it home and work on it tonight and he really didn't want to do that. He also knew that Hawkeye would be breathing down his neck if he didn't concentrate and he also didn't want to have to face her wrath.

The outer office was empty and night had fallen by the time that Roy had decided to call it a day. He had gotten most of what he needed done completed, he would just come in earlier tomorrow to catch up. All he wanted to do just then though was to go home and nurse a glass or two of whiskey. It had been a long day – hell, it had been a long month – and his guilt was eating away at him for what he had said and done to Edward. He had been through enough with Roy rubbing salt in the damn wound. He had jut stood up to leave when the phone's shrill ring filled the silence that he had been working in for the last few hours. Looking up at the clock, Roy saw that it was eight at night. Who would be phoning at this time? Most of the offices were empty at this point of the evening, and for a moment Roy was tempted to ignore it and just go home.

By the fourth ring, Roy had sighed and moved over to the phone, lifting it up to his ear. He trapped it between his ear and his shoulder to free up his hands to pick up the report that he had just finished going through. It was no doubt Hawkeye looking to see if he was still there. "Mustang." He answered, waiting to hear her familiar voice.

"Hi, it's Al."

Well, that was unfortunate. He had spent all day trying to avoid Alphonse's wrath and now he had happened to catch him just as he was leaving. Where was he meant to start explaining that what he had done and said to Edward was for his own good? All he had wanted was for Ed to go home and rest, he didn't want him in the office until he had had some time to cope with everything that had happened. He wanted to make sure that he was fully fit and able and he was suffering a head injury too, so really it was a totally reasonable request. Granted he had lost his temper and taken it too far but...

"General? Are you there?"

"Ah. Yes. Sorry Alphonse. I was just about to head home, is there something I can help you with?" Roy asked. Perhaps Al would take pity on him and leave the vengeful rampage to another day.

"Yeah, I was just wondering if Brother was still there?" Al said, no hint of anger in voice and that in itself made Roy hesitate. Did Al not know what had happened this morning? Why would Ed not tell him, and what did Al mean by 'still there'?

"I haven't seen Edward since I sent him home this morning. Did he tell you that he was coming back in?" Roy asked, trying to ignore the icy claw of panic as it tried to grip his heart.

"What?" Al's change of tone did not stop that same icy claw from squeezing. "Edward hasn't been home all day. He left this morning to go into the office and hasn't come home. When did you send him home? Why? Was he okay? Did something happen?"

Roy closed his eyes, focused on his breathing for a brief second. He needed to think. He needed to be the adult here, and he had to stay calm for Al. Where the hell did Edward go? He knew that he should have sent someone after him.

"I sent him home the moment he got here. I've put him on leave until he's recovered a bit more. He was fine – well, that's a stretch. He wasn't hurt, but he wasn't exactly pleased with my decision." Roy explained. "He didn't come home?"

"No."

Opening his eyes again, Roy looked out of the office window and down into the parade grounds below. Where the hell did Edward go?

"How angry was he, General?"

"Extremely. I might have lost my temper and over stepped while I was trying to talk some sense into him. I will get Havoc and Hawkeye out looking for him. Is there anywhere that you think he would go?"

Roy grabbed a pen and made a note of all the places that Al suggested, telling him to stay in on the off chance that Edward decided to go home. After promising to check in with him with any updates, Roy hung up and swallowed down his panic. What if someone had gotten him? What if they hadn't gotten all the slavers and someone had come to reclaim Edward? He couldn't think about it. He dialled Hawkeye's number, explaining to her what had happened and giving her the list of places where Ed might be, he then repeated the process with Havoc. With his two lieutenants on the case, Roy grabbed his gloves and left the office. Perhaps Madame Christmas or one of the girls would know more. Perhaps they had seen a gorgeous, furious young man storming his way around the city. He hoped beyond words that they had.


	14. Part 1: Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

The storm had finally decided to show its face and the streets of Central was bleak and silent, nobody wanted to venture out into the flooded streets with the icy wind cutting into their faces. Edward had managed to avoid the whole thing by slipping into a bar he was passing just as the skies opened up and spilled their contents down onto the world. He wasn't looking forward to going home, and he knew that he should, Al would no doubt be worried now. He could just tell him that he'd went for a drink or two after work. Edward ordered another drink, he wasn't sure how many he had had now, but he was pleasantly drunk – which unfortunately didn't silence the thoughts stomping through his mind like a herd of elephants.

Cowering further into the booth that he was occupying, Edward tugged on his shirt sleeve to cover his flesh wrist, swallowing a deep breath as the memories flooded back to him. He'd struggled enough to tear the skin open, sobbing and begging. He had turned to focus on the pain in his wrist as the blood ran down his arm rather than focus on the pain elsewhere. Rather than focus on the whiskey-tainted kisses and lower-like words coming from the mouth of a monster. Edward took a gulp of the drink he had gotten, he didn't even know what it was now, but it burnt as he swallowed it and that had the desired effect of pulling him back to reality.

"Aren't you a little young to be a major?" A pretty blonde woman asked him as she slipped into the booth opposite him with a charming smile, propping her elbow onto the table and resting her chin in her hand.

"I'm a state alchemist. So the rank just comes with the title really." Edward muttered, moving his flesh arm closer to him to avoid her catching a glimpse on the cut. He didn't want to have to speak to anyone if he was honest, but how could to politely tell her to go away?

"That makes sense, but you are still pretty young. You must be a good alchemist! I'm Vanessa." She was saying, still smiling at him. "I have a friend that is a state alchemist, although he's really more like a brother. You might know him."

"Yeah possibly. We're all pretty well known with our titles. Look..." Edward paused, chewing on his lip. He didn't want to be rude. "Vanessa, it was nice meeting you, and you seem really nice but I've had a really crap day. I think I'd rather just drown my sorrows on my own if that's okay?" That was polite enough, right?

Vanessa flashed him another smile and nodded as she stood up, flicking her long blonde hair behind her back. "Of course sweetie. Can I get you another drink at least?" She asked, gesturing to his empty glass. He had no memory of finishing it. With a sigh he nodded and dug out money from his pocket. He tried to give the money to her – he didn't want her buying him a drink out of her own money – but she just smiled sweetly and shook her head.

"Put that away. Its on the house." She said, laughing softly at his confusion. "I work here and I have seen that look on your face on too many good men. What's your poison?"

Edward frowned at that but put the money away anyway. He shrugged as he spoke, "Anything. Something that you would recommend, just nothing whiskey." He didn't think he had ever liked the taste of whiskey before, but after everything with Hal, he never wanted to taste the damn stuff again. Too many nights had he gagged on that taste in the last month. With another smile Vanessa nodded and moved to the bar across the room. Edward watched her as she slipped behind the bar, chatting happily to a large dark haired woman who was standing with a cigarette in her mouth and watching the patrons of the bar. The bar was close to the door to the establishment, so when it opened it drew Edward's eye.

Edward groaned quietly to himself, pulling further into the booth – was it possible for the old cracked leather to engulf him completely and accept him as one of its own? - as the newcomer entered the bar. Having clearly been out the unforgiving storm, Mustang's dark hair was plastered to his face until the man ran a hand through it, shaking some water out of it and letting it flop limply into more or less the usual place that it lived. He moved to the bar offering a familiar smile to the two woman behind it. He was still in his uniform, but was completely soaked through from the looks of things, and Edward almost unwillingly scanned the man but couldn't see a gun on him anywhere. Had he been out in the storm unarmed? Ed's eyes flicked back to the door, hoping that Hawkeye was about to appear behind her friend but nobody else entered.

Roy was talking to the two woman now, and all the friendly smiles and laughs were gone. He had no idea what was being said, but he had to fight the urge to go over there and find out what was wrong. It was obvious that something was wrong. Roy had a haunted look to his eyes, and it wasn't often that he scowled quite that much. He couldn't face him yet though, not after what happened that morning. The thought that he'd used his abuse to hurt Roy made him feel sick, but he was so pissed off and hurting himself that he wanted Roy to feel the same. He'd seen the guilt clearly in the older man's look the moment that he had spoken of the cause of the cut on his wrist and he'd hated himself for it; even though a small viscous piece of him was happy to see the effect that it had had.

Vanessa turned to face Ed, and suddenly the world was moving too slowly, because she was gesturing over to him with a questioning look at Roy, who had turned to look at him took. His mouth went dry with the panic and suddenly his comfy little booth felt more like a grave than a sanctuary. He pushed himself out of it as quickly as he could and was on his feet the same time that Roy was. Choking on a deep breathe, Edward glanced around the room. There was the main door, the one that Mustang stood between, blocking off his escape; there was also a fire door, and Edward moved to that. It probably led into an alley or something, but he didn't care. He needed away from that situation.

Moving was a problem though, as whenever he moved too fast the world swayed dangerously from the numerous drinks that he had had. Had he even eaten today? Edward couldn't remember. He'd wandered around Central after his fight with Roy for a long time, not wanting to go home but not allowed to go to work.

A hand on his shoulder made him pause just as his hand touched the door, and he was briefly glad of its stability because the world was not up for staying still and his vision wasn't quite right. He refused to turn though. He couldn't look at Roy. The alcohol had numbed a lot of his pain, both mental and physical – but just the touch of that hand on his shoulder was enough to have it all slam back into him and Edward squeezed his eyes shut to try and force the tears back.

"Please don't run off Edward." Roy was saying softly, too softly. _Fuck!_ That was not helping with the agony that was gripping at his chest. He tugged on his sleeve, covering his wrist as he pulled it in closer to him. "You didn't go home. Alphonse called the office looking for you. He's been worried. Why didn't you go home, Ed?"

Edward just shrugged, not trusting his voice in that moment. He didn't want to go home. He didn't want Al or Winry to see him so broke and tainted. He didn't want them to worry about him. He had caused them enough pain already and the didn't deserve more.

"There's a room upstairs. You can talk up there if you want privacy." An unfamiliar voice said, and Edward did turn at that, glancing back to see that the voice belonged to the other woman that was behind the bar. Vanessa was still at the bar, watching them with a worried expression. Roy smiled at the older woman and nodded.

"Thank you Madame."

"Anything for my boy and his men." The woman said with a smile, cigarette still in her mouth.

Edward frowned at those words. Her boy? He risked a glance back to Roy, catching the look on his face but not understanding much behind it. He loved this woman, Edward had given the same look to Gracia enough time to recognise it.

"She's your mum?" Ed heard himself say, looking back at the woman. There were similarities, he supposed.

"Yes." Roy said, at the same time that the woman said, "His aunt, really."

The woman smiled at him, took her cigarette out of her mouth and offered him her other hand. "Madame Christmas, I'm the owner of this establishment."

Edward stared dumbly for a moment, taking the woman's large hand and giving it a shake. "Ed. Edward Elric." He said, looking back at Roy. Ed would have never guessed that his aunt was the owner of a bar. "Suppose it makes sense that your mum would own a bar." He said to Roy, refusing to actually meet his gaze. Madame Christmas laughed at his comment, and Edward used that as an excuse to look away from the other man.

"Oh sweetie. This isn't just a bar." She said, and Edward didn't understand that at all. What else could it be? He frowned in confusion, about to ask for more information but the woman must have seen his confusion. "Its also a brothel."

Edward just stared at her again, his gut sinking. Those women were paid to have sex with strangers? Vanessa was one of them? She had seemed happy enough, but Edward didn't understand how that could be true. How could she be happy in a job like that? He heard Madame Christmas excuse herself, and suddenly he was alone with Roy. The noise from the room was a distant background noise as his thoughts reeled and he could almost feel Roy's eyes burning a hole into him. Swallowing past the lump in his throat he forced himself to meet Roy's gaze, frowning when all he saw was concern in the other man's eyes.

"Alphonse called the office looking for you. Why didn't you go home, Edward?" Roy asked him, and Edward sighed, refusing to look at the other man and instead moving back to the booth he had been in before. Roy followed him, sitting opposite where Vanessa had sat, but Edward didn't answer him. What the hell was he even meant to say to that? Of course Al had called looking for him, he'd be worried sick. Vanessa came over then and slid a drink in front of Edward, smiling when he nodded his thanks. She smiled at Roy too, and then she left them alone again.

"Edward?" Roy spoke but Edward just tugged on his sleeve and took a drink of whatever it was that Vanessa had decided to give him. "I'm not sure that another drink is the best idea right now Edward. You should go home. Al's worried about you."

Edward shook his head. "No. He'll freak if he sees me drunk. I'll stay in the dorms or something, call him from there to say that I'm fine but won't be home."

"Command is across the city from here, Edward. You can't travel there in this storm. You'll get soaked."

"So?" Ed shrugged. "Its just water. So I'll show up wet, what does it matter?"

"It matters because I know that your automail hurts you in weather like this. You'll be in agony by the time you get to command and I know as well as you do that the beds there are hardly comfortable. Why don't you want to go home? Did something happen?"

Edward took another drink, pausing. He didn't want to reply. He didn't want to speak to Roy, or anyone for that matter. He wanted to drink himself into a stupor and pass out somewhere that had a bed. He'd hesitated for too long, he knew that before Roy sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Nothing happened, Mustang. Al's just overbearing when he's worried, and I wanted to get drunk after this morning. To stop feeling..." He trailed off, looking away from the older man again.

"About this morning Ed, I cannot tell you how sorry I am for what I said and done." Roy said, and the sincerity in his voice made Edward turn again and meet his gaze. He was tired looking, his hair was sticking up at odd angles from the rain, and there were dark shadows under his eyes. He looked as bad as Edward felt, and once again Ed remembered how important Roy's men were to him. It was just hard to get his head around the fact that that same compassion actually extended to him. Edward watched as Roy's gaze flicked, momentarily, to his covered wrist. "I had no right to do that to you. I just wanted you to try to understand where I was coming from with putting you on leave, but I should have never used your injuries against you, Edwa..."

"Shut up." Ed mumbled, finishing the drink. "Its fine. Just... Its fine. Lets drop it, okay? I get it Mustang, I do. You look after your men, and that includes me. I guess you'd do the same for any of them. I was just pissed off." _And hurt, so fucking hurt,_ he added silently. "I'm not going home though. Not drunk."

Roy sighed again, his brow furrowed slightly and Edward was smacked with the sudden urge to kiss along the older man's temples to erase the strain there. He didn't, but fighting the urge while on the way to happily drunk, was one of the hardest things he had done for a while. After a moment of silence, Roy nodded, clearly having come to a conclusion that Edward had had no part in communicating about. "Okay. If you won't go home, at least phone Alphonse and tell him that you're safe..."

"Okay."

"...And that you'll be staying at mine tonight."

Edward was thankful that he had finished his drink, because he was sure that he would have inhaled the liquid at those words. As it was, he just coughed and blinked at Roy for a moment, waiting for some kind of punchline to the joke. When Roy didn't say anything else Edward frowned, trying to silently talk his heart into not pounding out of his chest. "Why the hell would I be staying at your place Mustang?" He choked out, thankful that his voice didn't betray any of his hope or excitement at the idea of sharing a house with this gorgeous man.

"Its simple really. You're drunk, and the dorms are miles away. There is no point in you staying in the dorms in an uncomfortable bed when my place isn't too far from here." Roy said, leaning back in his seat in the booth, crossing his arms and offering Ed a look that dared to challenge him. "So you either go home, or you spend the night at mine. At least then Alphonse will know for sure that you are safe."

Well that really boxed him in, didn't it? How was Edward meant to refuse to stay at Mustang's when the bastard was using Al against him. He was so easy to play when it came to his little brother, and everyone seemed to know and use that against him. He should go home, he knew that. Al would be worried sick, but he didn't want Al to spend all night not resting because he was worried and making sure that Ed was sleeping on his side and not choking on his own vomit. There was also a part of him that was freaking out at the idea of staying so close to a sleeping Roy. With a defeated sigh – exaggerated just to make himself seem less eager to stay with his commanding officer – Edward nodded.

"Fine. I'll stay at yours if you won't let me stay at the dorms. If I go home drunk Al won't rest cause he'll be too busy trying to look after me, and we both know that he needs to rest still."

Roy seemed pleased with that excuse, because all he did was nod and then stand, waiting for Edward to stand with him. He led Ed to the bar, and slipped around behind it, grabbing a phone and plonking it down in front of him. Edward then watched as Roy moved away, giving him the illusion of some privacy, before letting out a breath and dialling his home number. He didn't have to wait long, because Al answered on the first ring; was he sitting at the phone waiting for it to ring?

"General?" His voice was worried, and Edward shut his eyes against the guilt of making his brother worry like that.

"No. It's Ed."

"Brother! Thank goodness. Where are you? Are you okay? What happened? Why didn't you come home?" Al rattled off, and Edward was pretty sure that it was all in the same breath too. Taking a deep breath of his own, he opened his eyes and turned his back to the rest of the room.

"Calm down Al. I'm okay. I went for a walk to calm down after a fight with Mustang this morning and I ended up in a bar. I guess I kinda lost track of time, but I'm okay. I'm sorry that I made you worry Al, but I have never been in danger. Turns out the owner of the bar is Mustang's mum; or Aunt according to her." Ed explained, glancing over his shoulder to see Roy talking with said woman, a glass half full of amber liquid in his hand.

"Brother, how much have you drunk?" Al asked, pulling Edward back to reality and he turned away from Roy again. "You shouldn't drink alone, Ed. We only just got you back and we don't know how safe it is for you to be alone right now."

Ed was aware of that. Despite the fact that Hal was dead; he had seen the body with his own eyes, but Ed still found himself jumping at shadows. How many slavers were out there still? How many other people wanted to hurt him like Hal had? After he had spent the afternoon walking around Central to calm down, he found that he totally understood Roy's point that perhaps he wasn't ready for work yet. He had been constantly on edge and it was exhausting, how was he meant to return to work where he knew the danger was less obvious. There had been rumours and whispers of threats the moment he grew up and was no longer a child. Normally he ignored them, but in his current state of mind he wasn't sure how he would cope.

"I know. I'm sorry Al."

There was a moment of silence, one where Al was clearly trying to calm his nerves down, and to not go on some rampage at Ed. Edward took the silence as the moment to turn back to Roy, meeting the other man's gaze by chance. Roy smiled warmly at him, before turning to look at Vanessa who was talking to him, and Edward couldn't have been more glad of that because he felt the heat in his cheeks just at that stupid smile, and all the thoughts of staying at his place.

"Where are you brother?We'll come get you. I don't want you walking in this storm alone while drunk." Al was saying, and Ed heard him as he then moved the phone away to ask Winry for a pen and paper to get a note of the address.

"I'm not gonna be home tonight Al."

"What? Why? Brother you can't stay out all night. Just tell me where you are." The panic was in Al's voice and Edward cursed himself for wording it like that.

"Al, don't worry. I'm okay. I just know that if I come home drunk then you will refuse to rest because you'll want to look after me. You need to sleep, Al. You need to rest so you can get better. Mustang found me, told me that you had called. He's letting me crash at his place tonight, so you don't need to worry, I'll be totally safe."

There was another pause, one that Edward couldn't understand.

"I see." Al said, but there was the hint of a smile to his voice now and Edward let out a breath that he hadn't realised that he'd been holding, shutting his eyes again. "Well if you're with the General then I suppose I can stop worrying, I know you'll be safe there. Besides, I'm sure that you'll be more excited to sleep there than you ever would be to sleep here. Just don't let him take advantage brother."

"What?" Ed almost yelped it, his eyes flying open in surprise as he turned away from Roy's concerned look with a blush rising to his cheeks. "What the hell, Al?"

"We both know how much you want him, Ed."

"Shut up, Alphonse. Its not like that. I'm going now. I'll call you in the morning, okay?" Ed said, ignoring Al's laugh. Evil little shit that he was. People always thought that Al was the nice, polite brother; none of them knew the real Al. "I love you Al. Go get some sleep."

"I love you too, brother."

Edward smiled as he hung up, letting out another breath and turning to face Roy, forcing a smile at the older man's confused look. "He's just being a little shit. Brothers, you know?" Ed said with a smile, praying that his blushing had stopped, or at the very least that he could blame it on the alcohol swimming through his system. Roy just smiled, raising a perfect eyebrow, and Edward was forced to swallow past the lump in his throat before smiling back. Roy said his farewells to his mum and Vanessa – not quite escaping the hug she threw at him – and then led Edward out into the rain after he thanked both woman and said goodbye himself.

The wind was harsh, and the rain fell at an angle and soaked him pretty fast; his automail ached within moments, but he refused to mention it. He was jumpy again, on edge out of the safety of the bar, and he was a little surprised to find himself comforted by Roy's presence by his side. He was also surprised to find out how protective he felt of the older man in the storm with him. Roy was useless in the rain after all, and Edward couldn't stand the thought of something happening to him. He wasn't surprised, however, to find out how badly he wanted to stop Roy in the street and kiss him deeply, how badly he wanted to run his fingers through that obsidian dark hair.


	15. Part 1: Chapter 15

**A/N:** I am so sorry to be doing this to you guys, my loyal followers, but I have no idea how often I'll be able to update. This is my last fully written chapter and while it is not the last of this fic, I don't think I'll be able to update much for a while now.

So the story is that my boyfriend, the love of my life, of three years has left me this weekend. He's moved out and I am beyond devastated. It feels like I can't breathe, like I'm drowning and dying slowly. There's this constant tightness in my chest and I am in such a vague closed of state that I don't know where the last few days have gone. Because of this I can't even think about writing angst or relationship fluff cause its killing me. I also have to focus on finding somewhere where me and my boys (my two cats) can safely stay as I can't afford the rent on the house without him here.

So, short version, shit has well and truly hit the fan and my life is in complete turmoil and I'm basically like on suicide watch from my loved ones. Again, I am so sorry and I promise that I'll keep trying to write but I don't know how well I'll manage that. Please forgive me! I love you guys so much.

 _This chapter is un-beta'ed as usual but I haven't even checked it over so forgive me if its a mess._

 **Chapter 15**

By the time that Edward had let Roy led him into his home, the storm had him chewing on his lip because of the pain in his shoulder and knee, and had him silently begging for some warmth to ease the biting of the metal around his automail ports. The pain had sobered him a little as well, but he would still stumble occasionally, which was stupidly funny to him at that moment, and Roy's hand would shoot out to grip his elbow until he was steady on his feet again. Edward stood awkwardly inside Roy's front door, water dripping from him, as the older man locked the door. His heart was pounding and now he was really regretting this idea. How the hell was he meant to relax in his commanding officer's home? The man had been such a huge part of Edward's life for so long; perhaps in more ways that he even realised, and now Edward was standing creating a small puddle by his front door.

Edward watched as Roy moved into another room, hesitated and then followed him into a spacious living room. There was a fire place, which Roy had only just lit if the dry white glove on his hand was anything to go by, and Edward moved to it and let out an involuntary happy whine as he dropped to sit on the floor in front of the dancing flames. He heard Roy chuckle behind him, but ignored it as he soaked up the heat from the fire. His uniform was sticking uncomfortably to him, but the warmth from the alcohol in his blood and from the fire made him not mind it too much. Faintly he heard Roy leave the room, but he came back before long and crouched down next to him, a bundle of dry clothes in his arms.

"They'll probably be a little big for you, but at least they are dry. There's a bathroom first right out in the hall. Go get changed and I'll make you a drink." Roy said, placing the clothes on the coffee table behind Ed's back. The blonde watched him stand, forcing himself not to look at the glorious strip of pale skin near his hip as his uniform rode up when he stretched. When had he untucked the shirt and lost the jacket, anyway?

"Just nothing with whiskey." Ed mumbled, turning back to the fire. He really didn't want to leave its warmth.

"Oh, you're getting coffee Ed. You've had enough to drink I think." Roy said, his voice hinting at a smirk that Edward just knew would be infuriating.

"Shut up. I'm fine, and an adult last I checked so I could totally drink more if I wanted to."

"Then why did I have to help you to walk here? And if you really are so fine, why didn't you go home?" Roy said, waiting for a reply from Ed. When all he got was a defeated shrug he laughed. "Go get changed out of those wet clothes, I'll go make coffee."

With that Edward listened as Roy left the living room, waiting for the clattering of mugs before he forced himself up onto his feet, which was more difficult that he was willing to admit. The room spun as he stood and he groaned softly as he waited for his vision to settle. When he was sure that he could walk without causing an injury to himself or breaking any of Roy's home, Edward scooped up the clothes and moved out of the room to find the bathroom. He used the toilet and then stripped down to his boxers, which were slightly damp from his soaked trousers, but he'd worn worse. He pulled on the clothes that Roy had given him, and in the safety of the bathroom, he breathed in the faint smell of Roy that wasn't fully masked by the smell of whatever laundry soap he used.

It shouldn't have been as calming as it was, to be surrounded by Roy's scent. If Edward closed his eyes he could almost pretend that Roy was with him, next to him, wrapped around him, and the thought made him groan again. What the hell was wrong with him? Wasn't he meant to feel like this about women? He was able to ignore it as a teen; that was just a way of getting used to his hormones, right? He had all these new feelings and urges then, and Roy was such an impactful person throughout Edward's life, so it made sense that he would wake up from dreams of the older man, but he was twenty now, he was an adult and while the dreams were less frequent, they were so much more in depth now. Edward sighed, reaching up to take his hair out of its braid before he remembered with a sinking feeling in his stomach that his hair wasn't in a braid any more. It wouldn't be in a braid for a while now, and the thought sobered him more than the storm and he suddenly couldn't fight the nausea.

Edward dropped to his knees and vomited into the toilet, his eyes watering either from the force of his gut clenching, or from the memories he wasn't sure. The plus side of his hair being short now was that he didn't have to hold it back when he threw up. Edward didn't know how long it took for his stomach to settle again, but by the time it had his eyes were streaming tears, and his breathing was erratic enough that he felt light-headed. He flushed the toilet and then sat curled up on the cold tiled floor, pulling his knees up to his chest and rested his head on his folded arms. He couldn't stop crying, and his head was pounding so hard that it took him a long moment to realise that the knocking wasn't just in his skull, it was a fist on the door. Edward groaned, curled up tighter, and tried to will himself to calm down, tried to will Roy to go away, but it wasn't happening.

Edward wasn't sure how long he sat there, but he was aware of Roy somehow unlocking the door – did Ed actually lock it? - and stepping into the room. Edward tensed when he heard Roy pause and didn't relax until he felt the man settle on the floor next to him. Roy didn't speak for a long time, and Edward felt his panic slip away slowly. He was safe here, somehow he new that. It wasn't the same as the comfort that Al provided, or even Winry or Gracia, but Edward was a little surprised to find himself comforted by Roy's silent presence.

"Are you okay?" Roy asked softly after a long moment. Edward just nodded, keeping his head on his arms. His face was still wet from tears and he didn't want Roy to know how close he'd come to breaking in his brief moment of quiet solitude. "Its completely understandable if you're not, Edward."

"I'm fine. Guess I had more to drink than I thought, that's all." Edward mumbled, discreetly wiping his face. "I just hate throwing up." He added, hoping that it was convincing enough to get Roy to drop it.

"Edward, I heard you crying." Roy said quietly, after a long enough silence that Edward had thought that the other man wasn't going to speak, but he had, and Edward flinched at the words. "You don't have to talk to me about it. That's not why I'm here, I didn't come in to force you to talk about what's going on, and I am not about to make you try to explain how you are feeling. I can only imagine what you're going through, but I need you to know that it's okay to feel lost, its okay to not be okay." There was another pause, and Edward resisted the urge to curl up more. He swallowed down another bout of bitter tears and remained silent.

"Its not even remotely close to what happened to you, but I went through a phase – after the war – where I was so lost. I didn't know what to do any more, and I just wanted to end it all. I even tried to kill myself-" Edward's head shot up at that, and he turned to stare at the older man next to him, "- But I didn't, obviously. I couldn't pull the trigger, and when Maes found out I'm almost positive that he wanted to kill me himself. He helped me through it. I guess what I'm trying to say to you Edward, is that it doesn't stay dark forever. Things get better, but that won't stop it being hell just now, but you have people around you that love you and care about you. We're all here for you."

Another pause. Edward watched Roy for a moment, fighting the urge to burst into tears again. He won that fight, and instead found himself smiling at the older man. Deep and meaningful conversations with Roy Mustang didn't happen for Edward, and it was a pleasant surprise, as well as being completely bizarre; because of this, Ed chose to rely on his humour to get them past this odd moment.

"Is that your long winded way of telling me that you love me, Mustang?" Edward joked. Roy froze, his eyes wild like a startled animal and Edward didn't quite understand that reaction, and was too numbed with alcohol to begin to care about trying to figure it out. The flicker of apprehension was gone as quickly as it showed up and Roy turned to shot a fast glare at his subordinate, but it was lacking any real anger.

"You're such a little shit, Edward." Roy said, shaking his head and stiffly getting up from the cold floor. Edward couldn't help but laugh at his comment, biting his lip as he snickered when Roy shook his head and mumbled about how he was going to go have his coffee and that Edward was welcome to join him if he decided that he didn't want to sit curled up on the floor.

* * *

The coffee had been made to perfection, and Edward had found himself happily amazed that Roy had paid enough attention to know just how he liked his coffee – black with three scoops of sugar to take the edge of the bitterness. The conversation had been surprisingly easy, and that had only served to worsen his infatuation with the older man. They spoke of alchemy, and of how Roy was demented with getting mind-numbingly boring reports passed to him because his superiors didn't want to have to deal with them. Edward had talked about Alphonse, and how his love of everything he could touch and taste was still going strong after getting his body back. How the first night after his rescue that they had only eaten Winry's apple pie and how he could almost swear that Al's eyes had actually turned into little hearts as he savoured every bite.

It was hours later that Roy had shown Edward the rest of the house, showing him to the upstairs bathroom and the tidy, impersonal spare bedroom. He pointed out his own bedroom just in case Edward needed him through the night and had excused himself as he headed to his bed, hopeful to get some sleep before he had to be in the office in the morning. Roy had told Edward to make himself at home, and to help himself to anything he needed from the kitchen, but made him promise that he would try to get some sleep as well. Edward had downed a glass of ice cold water in the kitchen – it would hopefully help to chase away the hangover he was going to have - and had found himself washing the glass and their mugs from before. Roy had been kind enough to invite him into his home, it was the least that he could do after all. Leaving the dishes to dry, Edward silently moved up the stairs, hesitated by Roy's bedroom door for a moment before he slipped into the spare bedroom and closed the door softly.

Edward took of the trousers that Roy had given him a loan of and then slipped under the covers in the double bed; which was ridiculously comfortable, and Edward whined happily as he burrowed into the duvet, drowning in its warmth. The pillows were soft, almost too soft for Edward's liking, but everything seemed perfect and he felt all the tension leave him as he slowly slipped into sleep, convinced that he was going to get the best sleep he could possibly have.

* * *

The quiet noise woke Roy slowly, and he was greeted by darkness when he opened his eyes reluctantly. A glance at the watch he had left on the table by his bed told him it was just after four in the morning, and he groaned as he rolled over onto his front, determined to get more sleep. It was then, as Roy was on the brink of blissful sleep that he heard the noise again. A soft whimper and quiet sobbing. It took him a moment to remember his house guest, and he didn't hesitate before he crawled out of bed and wandered out into the hallway in nothing but the trousers that he slept in. The distressed noises and mumbled words were louder out here and Roy silently made his way to the spare room. He hesitated by the door. Edward deserved privacy, and Roy had no idea how he would react to Roy's presence during one of the most vulnerable times a human could have; lost to their demons in the throws of a nightmare. He was half tempted to go back to bed and leave it alone, but the thought of the young man that he loved being punished by that same brilliant mind that had made him the man that he was made something curl up and die in Roy's chest.

"No... Please..." Edward's words came out as a strangled sob, and before Roy could talk himself down he was opening the door and moving to the bed where the blonde was tangled in covers. Edward was still in the tshirt that Roy had lent him, but the trousers were flung over the arm of the chair by the desk, and his cheeks were damp from tears. Roy wanted nothing more to bundle the man up in his arms and kiss away his tears, to promise him that nothing was going to ever hurt him again – not if he had any say about it. Instead, all Roy did was place a hand on the blonde's shoulder and give him a gentle shake, calling out his name quietly. Edward just whimpered in response, and the noise broke Roy's heart. Edward's flesh fingers curled tightly into the duvet, and Roy found his gaze lingering on the bruised flesh of his wrist. A protective anger gripped him at the memory or Edward's words. Hal had tied him up while he violated him, enough that Edward had fought enough that the rope had torn his skin. For a moment, Roy wished the man alive again, just so he had the chance to burn him to ashes for what the monster had done to this brilliant young alchemist.

Edward's struggling only grew worse, so Roy sat on the edge of the bed and shook him again, a little harder this time, and called out to him louder, determined to wake up and save him from his horror; whatever that may be. "Edward! Wake up, Ed."

The blonde shot up, his eyes wild and frightened as he shoved Roy away and scrambled back in the bed. He was breathing heavily, his panic gripping him with its icy hold and his gaze shot around the room rapidly.

"Edward..." Roy spoke slowly, not moving closer to the younger man. "Ed, its okay. You're safe. Its Roy, Edward. You're safe here." He said softly, watching painfully as the fear died in Edward's eyes as he focused on where he was. His breathing evened out, still heavy but now more regular and his eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"Roy...?" Edward's voice was a whisper as he stared at the older man. "Hal..?"

"He's dead. Edward, he's dead. He can never hurt you again." Perhaps his tone was too harsh, too protective, but at the moment, Roy didn't care. He couldn't just sit on the sidelines here and leave this brilliant man to shrink beneath his demons. He needed Edward to know that he was safe, that Roy would always keep him safe. Roy moved further onto the bed, reaching out to touch his hand onto Edward's shoulder. "You're completely safe here, Edward. I'll keep you safe, okay?"

Whether it was the touch, or his words, it didn't matter, because Edward crumpled then. His face fell as sobs tore from his body, almost too large for his slightly smaller frame and he all but threw himself at Roy, curling up into him as his pain burst out of him. Shock kept Roy frozen for a moment, but it didn't last long. He gave in to his feelings and scooped Edward up into his arms, slipping into the bed with the younger man as Edward clung to him like a koala clinging to its mother. Roy ran his fingers through Edward's sweat-damp hair and mumbled quiet reassurances to the younger man. His heart hurt for the blonde, and he wanted nothing more than to somehow ease his pain. He would have taken this agony from Edward and kept it himself if he could, anything to make Edward hurt less. He didn't deserve this, he had lived through enough destruction, and Roy didn't want him to ever have to hurt again.

When Edward had stopped crying and had eased himself away from Roy's arms, he took that as a hint that he was no longer needed. It pained him to leave, but he could hardly share this bed with Edward. He had invited him to stay at his so he could have somewhere safe to sleep, and Roy would be lying if he said that some of his reasoning had been completely selfish; he wanted to keep Edward safe. He had wanted to spend more time with him, had seized the opportunity to get as much time with the blonde as he could. He hadn't really expected Edward to agree to his offer. Roy let Edward slip out of his arms and slid out of the bed. He was halfway across the room, telling Edward that he was just in the other room and to try to get some more rest when Edward spoke, almost too quietly for Roy to hear.

"Roy..." Edward murmured, and Roy paused, looking over his shoulder at the other male, noticing the faint blush that stained his cheeks an endearing pink. "Could you..." Roy watched, fascinated by the movement of Ed's throat as he swallowed before looking up at him, meeting his gaze, that same fierce gaze that Edward always had. "Would it be okay if you stayed with me tonight?"

The request left Roy speechless for a moment. Edward seemed so uncertain, so vulnerable that Roy didn't feel worthy of seeing him like this. He had done what he had needed to; he had come in and woken Edward up, he'd stayed beyond his better judgement to comfort Edward as he had broken down there and then, but he wasn't sure if it was wise for him to stay any longer.

"Its okay if you don't want to. I suppose sharing a bed with a guy is pretty damaging to your womanising, and you are my commanding officer..." Edward mumbled, looking away. "I just... Forget it, never mind. Its not important."

Roy was about to turn and walk out of the room then, his heart aching, but when Edward chewed self-consciously on his lower lip, all of Roy's willpower vanished. He wanted this man so much in that moment, and while he knew that it wasn't possible, it wasn't something that he could have with Edward, he could have this, right? He could have this one night, sharing a bed to comfort a frightened young man. They both wanted this. He turned without any conscious thought and moved back to the bed, smiling slightly at Edward's surprise as the blonde shifted in the bed to give Roy room to climb back in next to him.

"I'd like to think that my womanising is beyond being harmed by innocently sharing a bed with a friend." Roy ventured. He and Edward weren't exactly friends after all, but he wanted to be – he wanted more than friendship – and he would happily take anything that Edward wanted to give him.

"What if it wasn't innocent?"

Roy blinked at Edward's quiet words, and then turned to stare at the blonde. He was gorgeous like this, with the moonlight shining of the hard steel of the automail. The defined muscles in his arm tensed, his bottom lip slightly swollen from where he'd been chewing it and his hair a mess, sticking up at odd angles; Roy could almost pretend that Edward had been doing something much more energetic than sleeping, and much more enjoyable than suffering through a nightmare. The thought was enough to make his mouth go bone dry, and he stared blankly at Edward for a long moment, not knowing how to reply to that and stopping himself from just kissing him there and then.

If Roy was stunned by that comment, he was plummeted into iced water when Edward laughed softly. "I'm just fucking with you, Mustang." Edward laughed more, presumably at the look on Roy's face, which he could only imagine was highly ridiculous. Even as they both settled down into the bed, Edward was still giggling to himself, and Roy was trying to calm his racing heart. He lay on his back, soothed by Edward's soft chuckles and his steady warmth and it wasn't long until Roy was very almost asleep. He was faintly aware of Ed moving, of the warmth getting closer until the smaller man was curled up tightly against his side, which was more comforting that Roy wanted to admit to himself, and then was distantly aware of how screwed he was when he woke up. He would never be able to push his feelings aside for this brilliant man after tonight. The last thing that Roy was aware of before sleep claimed him was lips on his. Slightly damp from where he assumed Edward had licked them a moment before.

"Thank you, Roy."

Edward's voice was a whisper, precious and Roy wanted to reply, wanted to kiss him back, but sleep had him in its grasp and there was nothing Roy could do to fight against it, slipping into the blissful darkness as Edward's weight settled down next to him, a flesh arm hesitantly snaking around his waist.


	16. Part 1: Chapter 16

**A/N:** "Guess who's back, back again Shady's back, tell a friend"

And of course, by Shady, I mean me. I am so sorry that things have been so mad lately and that you have all had to wait forever for this but things in my life are starting to settle. I have bought a gorgeous two bed flat for me and my boys so I'm just waiting to find out when I can move in there. My ex is still paying his half of the rent for the house until I need to move out which is good.

Updates will continue to be a bit sporadic as I am still struggling with my depression and heartbreak but I'm going to be more willing to work on my work so I hope that you won't all need to wait as long as you've had to for this chapter. Again I am so sorry but thank you all so much for your kind words of concern and for your patience. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I love you all!

Yours always, Your Loving Author.

* * *

 **Chapter 16**

Roy wakes up in a bed that isn't his own with an arm around his waist and the tickle of hair against his bare chest, and for a moment is panicked, but his mind catches up at about the same time that Edward lets out a small groan. This bed is technically his, and while he has never slept in it since last night, it is familiar. Memories of the night before pass through his mind, but as he gazes down at the sleeping blonde curled up against him, Roy can't help but letting his thoughts return to the kiss. It was a peck at most, almost innocent, but it was a kiss regardless and something like hope bloomed in his chest before he had a chance to crush it beneath his foot.

Carefully, Roy managed to slip out of the bed without waking Edward. He had no doubt that the younger man would be horrified and embarrassed to find them curled up with each other in Roy's spare bed. He couldn't let something like this happen again, he couldn't take advantage of the storm that was living in Edward's head right now, he couldn't make any move to pursue his affection for the blonde, not after everything that had happened to him. Hell, there were laws against this sort of thing. Leaving the bedroom, Roy closed the door silently behind him, leaving Edward to sleep off the worst of the hangover he was sure to have. He, himself, needed to focus, to get all thoughts of kissing Edward out of his mind and get ready for work.

A cold shower later, Roy was in control of his emotions and was buttoning his shirt in the kitchen as his eyes scanned the room for a pen. Finding one tucked behind some letters, Roy took out a piece of paper from the notebook that he kept to write shopping lists on and wrote Edward a letter. He told the blonde that he was going to work, and that he didn't want to see him anywhere near the command building. He also explained that Edward was welcome to have whatever food or drink he could rummage up in Roy's home, and that he was also welcome to stay for however long he wanted, but if he wished to leave, that there was a spare key by the kitchen door that he could borrow to lock up behind himself. At exactly ten to eight there was a sharp knock on the door and Roy downed the last of his coffee before moving to greet Hawkeye.

"You look tired, sir." She observed once Roy had locked the door to his home and followed her to the car sitting at the side of the road. "I'm sure we can manage if you need to rest today. You've been under a lot of stress lately."

"Thank you Captain, but that isn't necessary. I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

"Nightmares again?" She asked as she pulled the car away smoothly. "I think that the stress of everything is bringing them back. You really should try to take better care of yourself, Roy. Edward is safe for now, we can focus on the case and you can rest more now. We have enough evidence to get them locked away for a long time."

"It's alright, Riza. It wasn't my nightmares that had me up, regardless." Roy told her, not sure why he felt the need to correct her. The moment he spoke, he wished that he hadn't though. Other than Alphonse, nobody else knew that Edward had stayed with him last night and that was exactly how it should be. It was too dangerous for anyone to find out; but this was Riza. This was his oldest friend, his closest friend since Hughes was gone, and Roy knew that he could tell her anything.

"I'm afraid that I don't follow, sir." Hawkeye said, glancing at him as she slowed at a junction.

"Edward stayed at mine last night." Roy sighed, watching as the houses began to change into businesses as they got closer to Central Command. "He was drunk and refusing to go home, so I told him that he was to either to come to mine or go home. I have to admit that I didn't expect that he would choose to spend more time in my company than he could help, especially after the morning that he had."

There was a silence between them for a moment, it wasn't uncomfortable and Roy was more or less positive that it wasn't judgemental, but it was heavy regardless. What was Riza thinking about him in that moment? Had she seen something that he hadn't? He glanced at her and saw that she had a small smile on her face as she pulled up at Command. She didn't speak until the car's engine was killed though, and she turned her full attention to him. "Of course he wanted to stay with you, Roy." She laughed at his look of confusion that he shot her at that comment. "Sir, permission to speak freely?"

"Always Captain. What on earth makes you think that Edward would want to stay at mine? He was just trying to avoid Alphonse while he was drunk."

"Roy, Edward is clearly interested in you. I'm honestly quite surprised that you haven't seen it yet. He's crazy about you."

Roy stared at her blankly as she smiled at him, before she got out of the car and left him staring at where she had been. Edward was interested in him? _Well shit, that made things much more difficult._

* * *

Edward woke up slowly, and regretted every second of it as his head pounded, protesting his being loudly. With a groan, he rolled over and blinked his eyes open, thankful that the day seemed overcast, he wasn't sure that he could have coped with bright lights in that moment. The bed was empty, and cold where Roy had been, so Edward had guessed that it had been hours since the man had been here, next to Edward, half dressed and gorgeous. The pillow and sheets still had his smell on them though, and Edward wanted nothing more than to fall asleep again, cocooned in that smell. He really needed to take a piss though, and his mouth was so dry that his tongue felt huge and clumsy. With a defeated sigh, Edward rolled out of bed, tugging on the trousers that Roy had leant him and scrubbing a hand through his hair. Now that it was short it was actually much more hassle. He had to actually do something with it when he woke up because it would stick up at odd angles, whereas before he just threw it into a braid and ignored it.

After using the bathroom, Edward wandered downstairs, wondering where Roy was as he entered the kitchen still having seen no trace of him. Come to think of it, he didn't even have any idea what time it was. His pocket watch was sitting on the counter by the kettle, with a note next to it, written in Roy's neat handwriting. He read the note before he popped the watch open and checked the time. Just after noon. Edward hadn't slept that late for a long time now, or that soundly. Granted at first the nightmares plagued him like always, but when Roy woke him, Edward had found that when he drifted off again that there was no hint of them. They weren't even lingering on the sidelines waiting for his guard to drop.

Edward chose to call Al while the water was boiling for his coffee, and his brother's voice was as cheerful as ever; even if it was a little tired sounding, and Edward knew that was his doing. He hadn't considered that people would be worried about him, which was a low level of stupid on his part.

"Hey Al, its me."

"Brother! How are you? Are you still at the General's?" Al asked, his voice giving way to worry a little.

"I'm okay, Al, and yeah I'm still here. I've actually just woke up, but Mustang wasn't in the bed with me. The bastard is away to work so he apparently just left me to sleep rather than kicking me out – so I guess that was not bastard-like of him."

" _In_ the bed? Brother what did you do? If he hurt you I'll kill him, please tell me that he didn't make you do anyth..."

"Whoa Al!" Ed almost shouted it. Almost. His face was hot from the blush. "Damn Al, who made you so cynical? No, nothing happened. Roy isn't even into men, Al, come on; as if he'd want me." Edward chose to ignore the painful whine that was stuck in his chest at that thought. "No, he woke me up from a nightmare, that's all. I was drunk and rattled to hell and back and practically begged the poor bastard to stay with me. He didn't do anything, Al. He..." Sighing, Edward lent his head against the wall. "He just held me as I cried. It was... It was actually really nice, and fuck he is never going to let me live that down is he? I'm really screwed, Al."

"No, you're not brother." Al's voice rings out through the receiver and Edward smiles at the sound of it, even if he doesn't believe the words. Just to be able to hear his voice, human and with no hint of a metallic echoing always made Edward's sad little existence that bit brighter. "Have you told him how you feel, Ed?"

"What no! Why the hell would I do that, Al? He'd never let me live it down, shits gonna be awkward enough as it is." Edward choked on the memory of kissing Roy, and his eyes shot open at the horror that settled in his stomach. Oh fuck, how was he meant to now face Roy after having kissed him, in bed, while drunk? Having fallen asleep curled up against him was embarrassing enough without having to add a kiss into it; without adding the fact that Edward had sobbed himself into exhaustion just before that. No. He was right, he was completely screwed.

"Why shouldn't you brother? He's totally in love with you, after all."

* * *

Roy had decided to visit the slavers that they had arrested, Hawkeye an ever present protection at his side – something which he was grateful of always. She didn't have to be asked, and she could communicate with him without actually talking. She would keep him grounded in this meeting – interrogation – and she wouldn't let him lose control. Having found Edward, and seen his injuries, seen how broken he had been and how much of a shell he had become was enough to turn his stomach. Roy knew that without Hawkeye at his side, he was likely to lash out and kill the man that had sold Edward.

The prisoners were held in cells, basic for their needs, but nothing cruel. It was all much too comfortable and kind for these monsters, but Roy couldn't argue that it was required. He'd rather have put a bullet in their heads and burned the bodies, but he knew that he only felt like that because of his own personal connection to the case. He was emotionally invested in one of their victims and Roy knew that Edward wouldn't be the same for a long time, possibly forever. Edward could be forever changed by his ordeal, and nobody would be able to blame him for it, and more than anything in that moment Roy wanted everyone responsible dead.

The greying man with the scar over his dead eye was the one that Roy stopped in front of. He knew that this man was the leader, that the others were just there to herd civilians into vans to be sold. No, this man was the root of this evil. The man just looked up at him, one blinded white eye staring at him along with the cold brown of the functioning one. Roy stared him down in silence, and when the other man just smirked at him, Roy schooled his features into a bored looking mask even as his blood boiled. This cocky bastard was the reason Edward and so many other innocent people had suffered. After a long moment, Roy finally spoke.

"What's your name?" He questioned, his tone disinterested as he made a show of slowly pulling his gloves on. He had no intention of using them, but they were useful in putting people on edge, and he wanted this man to fear him. Roy watched as the eyes flicked to his gloves and then back up to his face again, but his expression showed nothing of the fear that Roy hoped to have gotten in response. No this man didn't fear Roy like he should, and now that he was captured he had no fear of dying. It pissed Roy off even more that this man, even facing the threat of pain and death, still didn't feel even remotely bad about what he had done.

"General Roy Mustang. The Flame Alchemist." The man said with an ugly sneer on his face. "How nice to see you again. Come to finish the job of torturing me?" Roy kept his indifferent mask in place and just watched as the prisoner glanced at Hawkeye who stood to the side and a few steps back from Roy. A cruel smirk crept up on his face and Roy forced down the protective urge to step in front of his friend. Hawkeye could handle herself, and no doubt would smack him if he gave any hint that he was trying to protect her. "You got yourself something as lovely as that-" The man said, nodding his head towards Riza as his eyes met Roy's again, "-and you are too concerned by getting your dog back. Did you get him back, Mustang?"

Roy grit his teeth. There was so much in that sentence that made him want to kill this man all the more, but he had to remain calm – at least outwardly. It was easy to say that though, but the thought of anything bad happening to Riza made him feel sick, and that was before all the horrible memories of the damage that had been done to Edward – memories that would haunt his dreams. "I asked for your name. I expect you to answer me." He didn't know if he growled it or not, but he got the words out that was a small victory.

"I assume you did find him. Hal was one of my best customers. He loved a new toy and I just knew that your bitch was perfect for him. Gorgeous and fiery. The temper on him was sure to turn Hal on, and give him something to lash out about. How is the little alchemist? I know how roughly Hal can play."

Roy's blood boiled.

"Your friend is dead, for the assault of military personnel, murder and human trafficking, as you will be. Now answer my questions!" Roy did snarl that bit, he wanted to get in that cell and wrap his hands around the man's throat and squeeze until he saw the life fade from his eyes.

"Assault is putting it lightly, is it not? I know that he raped the boy. Hal wouldn't have been able to resist such a beauty. Don't want to spill your bitch's sordid secret. I bet the little slut loved every moment that Hal had him pinned to the bed. I bet that he begged to fucked brainless. Imagine how that voice sounded as it screamed and begged and moaned for another man, Mustang. Do you hate the thought of someone else with your toys?"

The snap of Roy's fingers was louder than he remembered it ever being, and he didn't remember anything from his brain to tell them to snap in the first place, but nevertheless they did, and the flames sought out their target instantly. The man's scream was enough to dull the ruby red that Roy had seen to a pale rose colour. The hand on his shoulder that pulled him back dulled it even further and Roy was suddenly aware of the pounding of his racing heart and the slight tremble in his hands. His breathing was short and strained and it took him a moment to realise that he should kill his alchemy before he killed the prisoner. When he did, the slaver was on the floor, curled up and whining in pain, the burns weren't too bad, but Roy knew that he would need medical attention. He couldn't bring himself to care about that, or the fallout that he would no doubt receive for attacking a prisoner.

His hands were shaking from his rage, and he was sure that if he ground his teeth together any more than he already was he'd be left with a mouth full of nothing but grit and dust. His head was filled with the sound of his own blood being rapidly forced through his body, so it took him longer than he would have liked to admit to notice that Riza was looking at him waiting for a reply to something that he hadn't heard. She was gently taking his arm and pulling him firmly from the bars of the cell and out of the room, all the while telling one of the guards to get a medic into the man. Roy dropped into a chair that was by the door for visitors to wait in.

* * *

Having been sent home early by his own subordinate, Roy let himself into his home with a sigh and a wave to Riza as she drove off again. He stopped in the doorway with a slight frown, Edward's shoes were still sitting by the door where he had left them the night before. Had Edward stayed here? Granted, Roy fully expected that he would be hungover, so perhaps he was still in bed? Closing the door behind him, Roy moved into the living room, but Edward wasn't there. Roy called out to the boy, but got no other reply and after checking the kitchen – which was also empty – Roy headed upstairs. He was about to check the spare bedroom when he noticed the door to the room down – his study – was sitting slightly ajar. Moving to the room, Roy pushed the door open further and was greeted by the sit of Edward lying on his stomach on the floor, books and scraps of paper surrounding him as he flicked through an open book that was in front of him.

He seemed so relaxed and content, lying there in the middle of Roy's floor. He had obviously zoned out as he often did when something alchemy related caught his attention and while Roy was surprised to find that Edward had stayed as long as he had, he was also relieved to see him. He took a moment to appreciate the blonde in front of him. He had lost some weight, and Roy still found it disconcerting to see the alchemist with short hair, but of course Edward was gorgeous regardless of how his hair was. The t-shirt that Ed wore had ridden up a fraction, but it was enough to offer Roy a flash of tanned skin that made his mouth go dry with the urge to go over and see how Edward tasted.

Roy cleared his throat loud enough that it seemed to break through Edward's concentration and the blonde's head snapped around, his athletic body writhing around to see who had interrupted him. Roy smirked down at him as the blush crept up onto the blonde's face and raised an eyebrow at him. "Did I startle you, Fullmetal?"

"Bastard."

Roy laughed as Edward rolled back onto his front and returned to the book in front of him, but not before Roy had caught a glance of it. It was hand written and he knew it instantly as the journal that he had kept notes of his alchemy in when he was first training. Despite knowing how brilliantly moral Edward was, Roy couldn't help but get fearful and angry. What if Edward found out how to do flame alchemy? Roy had promised that it would stop with him, that there was too much bad that it could be turned towards. Moving forward, Roy snatched the book from Edward, perhaps more aggressively than he had intended. "What are you doing?"

Edward shot to his feet, his amber eyes ablaze. "What the hell does it look like, Mustang?" Edward snapped, his arm swinging out to indicate the mess of books on the floor that he had made. "I got curious and thought that I could maybe improve on your alchemy for you."

"Nobody else is to know how to do flame alchemy. You had no right to go snooping."

"I wasn't snooping. I was trying to do something nice for you, Mustang. Fucking hell. And why can't there be other flame alchemists, are you worried that it would ruin your charm with the ladies?" Edward shouted at him, taking a step closer to him, so close that Roy could smell the shampoo that the blonde had used that day – Roy's shampoo. Smelling a scent that was so his on this younger man was almost more than Roy could deal with. He wanted to pull the boy into him, to taste him and tease him and make him smell more like Roy than either of them could bare.

Roy took a deep breath and then sighed, running a hand through his hair as he took a calculated step back. He needed to put space between them or run the risk of kissing Edward – damn the consequences. "I didn't think that you would still be here when I got home." Edward jerked back at that comment as though had slapped him, a guarded look to his frown as he stared at Roy.

"That's why you're pissed? Because I'm still here?" Edward muttered, looking away towards the window. "I assumed by the note that you left you wouldn't be bothered if I was still here. Isn't it too early for you to be home anyway? Its still bright out there." Ed asked, turning back to look at Roy with a frown. "What happened?"

"Riza sent me home."

Edward frowned at Roy, waiting for more but the older man just turned around and moved to put the book in his hand back into the bookcase. "Uh, Mustang, you know that she can't actually do that? Why did she send you home anyway?"

"Its not important, Edward. Besides you should go home. Your brother will no doubt be worried about you."

"I called Al this morning, he's fine. Bullshit that its not important, Hawkeye wouldn't send you home for no reason. What happened? Is somebody hurt?" Edward demanded, advancing on Roy and forcing him into a corner. Hell would freeze before Edward let Roy talk his way out of this. The older man could have only spent half his shift at work, and Ed would be damned if he didn't find out why.

"I lost my temper and attacked a prisoner while I was questioning him, that's why she sent me home. I had my gloves on to intimidate him into talking, and I lost control. Another reason why there can't be another flame alchemist."

"You attacked him? Why? What the hell could he have said to make you use your alchemy on him?" Edward asked, but Roy ignored him, trying to push past him. Edward pushed both his hands on his commanding officer's chest and pushed him back against the wall. "Damnit Mustang! Answer me, what the fuck did he say?"

"Edward you don't need to know..."

"Bullshit! It was about me, wasn't it? What did he say?" Edward knew his voice was too loud, knew that his hands had started shaking but he needed to know what had caused this. He needed to know what people thought of him.

"Edward I don't..."

"Tell me!"

Ed's voice rung out in the silence between them, his eyes searching Roy's for anything other than the sadness that was in them, something that would tell him what had happened. Roy finally shut his eyes and sighed. It was so long that Edward wasn't sure if Roy was going to answer him, but he finally opened his eyes. "He was mocking me, about what happened to you. Implying that you enjoyed it, that I was just jealous that someone else was with you."

Edward stepped back, his eyes wild as he searched Roy's for a brief moment before he turned away. He felt sick, and he wanted to run away. He didn't know where to, but his legs wanted to move, needed to move. He needed to feel the burning in his lungs from exercise. A hand on his flesh wrist caught his attention in more ways than one. The pain from the wound there shot up his arm and he flinched away slightly, but the pain was followed by a spark that Edward knew was all Roy. "Its not true. I... Why would anyone...?"

"Edward, I know. I know that its not true. He wanted to get a reaction out of me, that's all. I promise you that they will all pay for this." Roy said, moving in front of Ed and forcing him to make eye contact. "I didn't want you to know because of the vile things he suggested, but I promise you that I – that we – didn't believe any of them. You're safe here Edward."

Ed nodded slowly, watching Roy in silence as he tried to force his heart to stop racing. Tears threatened to show their faces and betray his fears and he couldn't cry in front of Roy again. Taking a few deep breaths, Edward counted up in his head, trying to calm himself down, but nothing was capable of stopping his panic as sharply as the feather-light brush of Roy's fingertips against his temple as the older man brushed some hair back. Edward's eyes shot up to meet Roy's again, and he paused. Roy looked so sincere, so caring. His eyes had never looked so gentle to Edward. He couldn't be blamed for the fact that he reached a hand up around the back of Roy's head and pulled the man closer. So close. Close enough that their lips touched and Edward was able to taste Roy's mouth. He couldn't be blamed for the startled gasp as Roy kissed him back, deeper and harder than Edward could have hoped for. This must be what it felt like to fly.


	17. Part 1: Chapter 17

**A/N:** I feel like such an awful person lately with how long its taking me to update. Its insane how badly my mental health effects my writing.

While the dust was beginning to settle, this past week has been hell all over again. I ran out of my meds so started having all the wonderful side effects from the withdrawl of that, and then I had a friend stab me in the back and risk the friendships of me and two other friends. On top of that, a guy I like - a friend - showed me a totally different side to him and I did not like it one bit (nobody has made me feel so cheap and disgusting before and I have literally fled from a guy who got aggressive with me for not wanting to kiss him). I doubt any of you are bothered by my life drama but its nice to vent to people who don't know who I am.

tl:dr Life is still shit but I'm working on it.  
Again, thank you all for your patience and for sticking with me through this. The updates may not be regular but I do think about you all and I am still working on this so I really appreciate you all sticking with me.

 **Chapter 17**

The wall against his back should have panicked him, he knew that somewhere deep in his mind, but the taste of Roy's lips against his, the feeling of his tongue against his own and those strong hands pulling his hips closer – while holding them teasingly too far away – was enough of a distraction that Edward couldn't begin to remember why it should have bothered him that he was pinned to the wall. Edward slipped his hands down Roy's chest, whining softly as he could feel all the muscles underneath the starchy military uniform. It was too much, and Edward needed it gone. His hands tugged on the fabric, freeing it from Roy's trousers and wasted no time in snaking his hands up and under the material, relishing in the shiver that he was rewarded with. Suddenly there was a hand around the back of his head, fingers combing through his hair as Roy's mouth moved across his jaw, down onto his neck. With a moan, Edward's eyes fluttered shut. Who knew that kissing someone could be this good?

He thought that maybe he had died. He had died and this was his brain giving him one last fantasy before it was gone for good. He knew how much he wanted Roy, needed him in that moment. If one kiss was enough to dull the noise in his tortured mind, then Edward would happily give into this bliss. A drag of his nails down Roy's chest rewarded him with the most beautiful noise that any other human could make. A noise that let him know that Roy needed him too, that Roy wanted him and that whatever Ed was doing was good. Really fucking good by the way Roy's fingers tightened around his hips. Edward wanted to make Roy feel that good all the time, so why was the older man pulling away?

It took a moment for his lust fuelled thoughts to regain some sense, and when they did Edward couldn't miss the regretful look on Mustang's face. His stomach dropped, landing somewhere between his feet – that no doubt would be a bitch to clean out of Roy's pristine carpet – and he just stared at the older man, a traitorous blush warming his cheeks. Edward watched the older man as he pulled back further, moving out of reach and smoothing down his shirt. He pulled a hand through his hair in an attempt to neaten it but it was a futile effort. Edward knew that feeling, his hair never did as he wanted it to either.

"Edward..." Mustang started to say, pausing with a sigh as he turned to collect some books from the floor. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..."

"Bullshit Mustang." Edward snapped back, but he didn't move closer. He wasn't sure that he would be steady enough on his feet. "Why the hell shouldn't you have? What happened?" He paused, trying to meet his commander's eye but Roy evaded him as he slotted the books back onto the shelf that Edward had taken them from. "Did I do something wrong?"

Roy paused at that, taking a moment before finally looking at Ed with unreadable eyes. Ed didn't know how to react, but he could feel the panic seeping in. Panic and anger – but he wasn't sure who the anger was at. Roy? He had just rejected him after giving him a taste, after letting him know how good kissing could be. Or himself – for being stupid enough to believe, even for a moment, that maybe he could mean more to Roy that just being that loud-mouthed subordinate that gets him into so many problems.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Edwa..."

"Then why the hell are you sorry? Why did you stop?" Edward asked, stepping forward as Roy moved to grab the last of the books from the floor. "Is it because I'm a guy?"

"You know why. We can't do this – you're my subordinate. There are laws against this Edward; do you have any idea how much trouble it would cause us?" Roy said as he turned around and almost walked straight into Edward; the blonde had moved in closely, too closely. Roy wanted to kiss him again, his lips taunting him with the memory of how soft Edward's had been. His gold eyes watched Roy closely, the fire burning behind them as Edward regarded him as though he was a particularly difficult problem for him to solve. "It would ruin both of our careers."

"You know I don't give a shit about the military, Mustang!" Edward snapped, grabbing Roy's wrist almost desperately. "Nobody has to know. I know that it could make things at the office weird so we don't need to tell them. I can keep it quiet."

"Edward it isn't to do with the team. The amount that Havoc goes on about his various women he is asking for it. Its about the brass. If they find out, best case is that they transfer you to someone else. Worst case is that we are both discharged." Roy said, pulling his wrist out of Ed's hand before moving to put the books away. He didn't want to look back at Edward, he didn't want to reject him. Roy wanted to take the gorgeous blonde in his arms and never let go; to hold him and keep him safe; to learn every curve and line of that body. "I would get it worse of than you, of course. They would assume that I had taken advantage of you, talked you into it somehow."

"They can't do that!" Edward sounded so defeated that Roy had no choice but to look back at the younger man. "You need to become Fuhrer! They... Shit, how is that fair? I came onto you!" Roy watched as Edward thought in silence for a moment, watching the flicker of emotions across his face. It killed Roy a little to know that he'd already won.

"It doesn't matter who started it, Edward. We can't do this, I won't do it to you; to us." Roy spoke softly as he moved to Edward, hesitantly reaching out to touch the younger man's shoulders. "I'm sorry, I should have never let this happen."

Edward pulled away from Roy the moment they touched, his frantic eyes darting up to meet Roy's; before they slipped down to gaze at his lips and Roy had to force himself to not lick his lips from the attention that they were getting. Roy didn't have a chance to react as Edward pushed himself up to claim Roy's lips again, but after a moment – when his short-circuited brain finally caught up – Roy pulled away from the blonde, holding him out at arm's length.

"Nobody has to know!" Edward was protesting before Roy could even think to open his mouth. "God Mustang you have no idea how lon..."

"Stop. Edward we are not doing this. We can't."

"But.."

"No Fullmetal!"

Judging from the flinch Edward gave at Roy's tone, he had obviously been too harsh, but he needed to stop this here and now. He needed to stop it while he was still strong enough to say no to Edward. Roy wanted to go to him, to pull him into a hug and comfort him, but he couldn't – so what he ended up doing was watching the blonde closely, watching as Edward pulled away both physically and emotionally. It was unnerving that Roy could actually see the younger man shutting him out. It killed him in at least a dozen different ways.

"I need to go." Ed muttered, side stepping Roy and heading to the door without making eye contact. Roy turned to follow him, he didn't want Ed to leave upset. He wanted the blonde to feel like he was welcome here if he needed it. Roy didn't want to think of him alone and drunk in some sleazy bar. Edward had slipped into the spare room when Roy caught up to him, and he was just leaving the room, uniform bundled up in his arms. He didn't make eye contact again and muttered something that sounded like a thanks but then he was gone again.

"Edward, at least let me take you home." Roy said as he stopped Ed in the middle of kicking his boots on. The blonde did look up then, but he had carefully schooled his features into total blandness – _when had he learned to do that? He used to be so easy to read –_ and finally met Roy's eyes. "You don't have to leave, either. You're welcome here if its somewhere else that you can feel safe."

Edward huffed out a laugh at that and finished pulling his boots on. "Thanks Mustang, but I'm good. I don't need somewhere to hide out in, and I don't need a lift home." He spoke and even his voice was almost completely blank from emotion. He did sound off though, cold and harsh almost and Roy hated himself for rejecting Edward and hurting him like this. He didn't want Edward to feel that this was anything to do with him, but Roy knew that he couldn't risk everything for the chance of being with Ed. He couldn't risk hurting him any more than he already was. "But hey, thanks for letting me crash last night; and for the other stuff too, I guess. But if you tell anyone that I fell asleep crying on you I'll make sure that you are never able to speak again."

Roy couldn't stop himself, really he did try and there was no way that he was going to be able to stop the chuckle that escaped his lips. Edward just glared at him, but Roy could see that there was amusement dancing in Ed's eyes. "I promise that I will keep that between just us."

"Good." Ed muttered as he finished kicking on his boots and turned to the door.

For reasons that Roy didn't want to acknowledge, his heart clenched painfully at the sight of Edward turning away from him. He wanted nothing more than to pull the younger man into him, to wrap his arms around that too small frame and keep him safe, but he couldn't. He knew that he couldn't risk it, and it killed him to watch Edward go.

* * *

Alphonse looked up from the book he was reading when he heard the front door slam shut, and then met Winry's eye from where she sat at their small kitchen table surrounded by various bolts and screws as she worked. She was gorgeous, Al thought to himself with a small smile. He hadn't ever really thought about it, but she really was. Even now, dressed in stained overalls with a smear of oil across her cheek. A flash of golden hair caught his attention as Edward tried to slip into his room.

"Brother!" Al called out, smiling at him as Edward met his eyes. One look at Ed was all Al needed to see that something was wrong though, Edward looked upset, and instantly Al was on his feet and moving to Ed. "Brother, what's wrong? What's happened?" Al asked him, stepping in front of him to cut off any escape that Ed tried to make. Al heard Winry put her tools down and move towards them, curious and concerned also. Edward just looked at them both and then tried to step around them to head to his room but Alphonse wasn't about to let him run off like that. He grabbed Ed's arm, gently but firm enough that his older brother stopped, his back to them and his head bowed – a habit he had picked up when he was trying to hid his face behind his hair before whenever he was upset. "Ed talk to us."

"Its nothing. I'm fine Al. I'm just tired." Edward said, refusing to look back at his brother and childhood friend. He just wanted to escape into his room, to hide away until the hurt of Roy's rejection faded but he should have known that Al would have taken one look at him and seen the hurt all over him. He may as well have been wearing a massive neon sign to declare his agony to the world. The silence that hung between them was heavy, and Edward knew that Al was sharing a meaningful look with Winry, but regardless, his little brother finally let go of Ed's arm.

"Brother, you don't have to lie to us. You can talk to us about anything." Al said softly, almost sadly and Edward mentally kicked himself for being the reason that Al sounded so unsure. Al should have nothing by love and laughter in that voice and yet here he was, worried and sad and it was all Edward's fault again. Why did he always end up hurting his baby brother? He was meant to protect Al, and he had been failing at that from the moment he had talked him into trying to bring back their mother.

"He's right, Ed. We love you. You're our family and you don't ever have to be scared to tell us anything?" Winry added, her voice soft and quiet. Edward knew that they were right, but he wasn't wanting to talk about his infatuation with his commanding officer, or the fact that he'd lost himself to those lips only to have it crash around him. "Did something happen with Mustang?"

Edward knew he shouldn't have reacted, but the wince he gave was totally beyond his control and instantly he knew that it was a mistake. He knew that Winry had meant well, but he didn't want to talk about it and he just knew that Al would see right through anything he said to try to shrug it off. He didn't want them to worry. He'd be fine. He always was. Al was in front of him again, no doubt to read any lie straight off of his face.

"Brother! What happened? What did he do? If he hurt you, or made you do anything you didn't want to then I'll kill him myself." Al ranted, his hands on Ed's chest, and Edward knew that he had no choice but to meet Al's worried and yet, somehow, angry eyes. Even looking as distressed as they did then, Edward could never not appreciate those eyes. After everything, after all the pain and suffering he got Al his body back.

"Nothin' happened, Al. I'm fine. I just want to go lie down in my own bed." Edward muttered, clutching his uniform tighter to his chest. He could tell by the look in Al's eyes that his younger brother didn't believe a word of what he was saying but like hell was he talking about this. If he ignored it then it would go away, right? Edward sidestepped Al, slipping past him and heading down the hallway. "Just drop it guys. I'm fine." He called back to them as he slipped into his room and shut the door behind him. A quick clap had the door sealed shut. It wouldn't keep Al out if he wanted in of course, hell if Winry wanted in bad enough Edward had no doubt she'd find a way, but at least he hoped that they wouldn't try. He just wanted to curl up in his bed and ignore everything.

* * *

Roy could almost feel Riza watching him in the office the next day. He'd worried for hours about Edward the night before, and when he gave up on waiting by the phone to hear the blonde's voice, Roy had found himself sitting watching the fire with a whiskey in his glass. He knew that Riza would instantly know about that, it was like she has taken over for Maes when it came to his drinking, they were both always so worried about it, and would never have him drink alone if they could help it. She had mentioned it the moment that he got in the car, somehow knowing about it instantly even though he didn't look hungover and the smell was surely gone from his breath by that point.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Roy pinched the bridge of his nose. No matter how hard he tried, his mind kept going back to Edward, back to the memories of those lips on his, of how good Ed had tasted and how his soft, pleased moans had set a fire burning in the pit of his stomach. His mind kept going back to the hurt in Edward's eyes when Roy had tried to explain why this couldn't happen, his own heart curling up on itself at the memory. He hated himself of it, he wanted Ed, had wanted him for so long now, and by denying them both the chance then all Roy had done was hurt them both. The sound of the door to the outer office opening caught his attention and he took that moment to try to focus on his work. He had no meetings today, so he was confident that Riza would be able to handle any enquiry that was being sent their way.

Roy's gaze had barely touched the paperwork in front of him before his door was slammed open and Roy was ashamed of the excited flutter of potential butterflies that his stomach gave. Only Edward slammed his door open like that. Lifting his gaze, making sure to keep his face indifferent, Roy was startled by the sight in front of him. It was not Edward that had come charging into his office, but the youngest Elric. Hawkeye stood behind Alphonse, her hand on his shoulder as if to stop him but the teen paid her no attention as he stormed over to Roy.

"Alphonse? Is there something I can do for you?" Roy asked, leaning back in his chair as Al approached, Riza hot on his heel after she shut the door. She was angry, but having an Elric force their way into his private office wasn't anything new, but normally it was Alphonse that was trailing behind to try and calm his brother, but the look that Al was giving Roy in that moment was unlike anything that the elder brother had ever given him. Roy opened his mouth to ask another question but anything he was thinking about saying was wiped from his mind when the fist connected with his face, snapping his head to the side.

By the time Roy had gathered his senses and was on his feet, Alphonse was glaring at him from further away, Riza's hand on his chest as she pushed him back a few steps, her other hand lingering on her pistol at her hip. "What has gotten into you, Alphonse?" She snapped, ever his dutiful protector but Roy didn't risk breaking eye contact with the younger Elric.

"If you ever hurt my brother again, I will make it my mission to repay you tenfold. Do you understand, General?" Al all but growled the words, and something small and feeble in Roy curled up and died with the words. How badly had Edward been hurt by his words, by his actions? Roy didn't think that Edward would willingly send his brother out to deliver a message like this one, but he also knew that the brothers were fiercely protective of each other so Alphonse would have no problem coming on his own accord to deliver the warning. The knowledge didn't make Roy feel any better though, he hadn't wanted to hurt Edward.

"It was not my intention to hurt Fullmetal, Alphonse. I tried to explain things to him as painlessly as I could... I needed him to understand why nothing can happen between us. I didn't want to hurt him."

"Next time don't share a bed with him then!" Alphonse screamed it, and Roy couldn't help but flinch at the harshness. Riza shot a scathing look over her shoulder at him, before she turned her attention to Alphonse, calmly but firmly escorting him out of the room. Roy slumped down in his chair, his head resting in his hands as he sighed and heard Riza order Havoc to take Alphonse home. Well he had truly fucked things up now, hadn't he? Roy silently cursed himself for his actions. He had gotten too close and now everything was a mess.


	18. Part 1: Chapter 18

**A/N: Turns out I didn't upload this weeks ago like I thought I'm sorry. Have two chapters to make up for it!**

I swear I will work on being less shit and posting more regular! Also, my lovely fans, I will be meeting the one and only Vic Mignogna (Ed, himself) in a few weeks at MCM Scotland and I am losing my shit. I've booked a photo with him, and I'm gonna get his signature too.

So I ask you all, should I get him to sign the box with my pocket watch, or do I print out a fanfic I've written and get him to sign that?

Also, send help. Cause I may actually die when I do meet him!

 **Chapter 18**

A week later and Alphonse still had no idea what was wrong with Ed. He hadn't spoken about what had upset him with Roy, and he still seemed so distant and withdrawn. It worried Al, and he knew that Winry was feeling the same but whenever they tried to get Ed to talk he just shut them out, told them that he was fine and not to worry about him. If they didn't mention Roy then they could almost pretend that Ed was still the same as he had been just a few months ago, but Al could see that his brother wasn't the same. There was a hollow coldness to his eyes now, and Edward had been sneaking out more and more in the past week, coming back at odd hours and it had bothered Al. When Edward had decided to sneak out again the night before they were meant to be going to visit Gracia and Elicia, Al had decided that enough was enough and he needed to talk to Ed about his odd behaviour.

Alphonse waited up that night for Ed to sneak back in. It had taken longer than Al was comfortable with, and he was just considering going out to look for him when Ed stumbled in the door. When he saw Al he froze though, staring at him like a cornered animal. Al watched him in silence for a moment, he looked a mess. He was clearly drunk, and his clothes were creased. His hair was falling out of its braid and there was a bruise appearing on his collar. Al frowned and stood, moving to Ed.

"Brother..."

"Al. Hey. Why are you up? Is everything okay?" Edward asked, slurring his words and trying to stand up straighter to appear sober and concerned. The fact that he had to put a hand on the wall to stop himself from falling didn't really help his case much.

"No. Its not okay. You're not okay, brother." Al said, taking his brother's arm. "Ed, please, you need to talk to me. Where have you been going? What have you been doing?"

"Nothin'" Ed snapped instantly, a little too defensive. "I've just went out for runs."

"And stopped at every bar?" Al folded his arms, frowning at his brother. Did Edward really think that Al wouldn't know that he was shit-face drunk? If it wasn't obvious enough with his swaying and slurring words, the smell of alcohol on him was so strong that Al was pretty sure he should avoid any sparks. "What happened to your neck, brother?"

Edward frowned at him in reply, anger flashed behind his eyes at Al's accusation, not that he had any right to be angry when he was so clearly lying. He looked down at the bruise on his skin, blushing slightly and scowling before he moved his coat a little to cover the mark. He looked back at Al, a lie ready on his lips but Al shook his head.

"Stop it! Damnit Ed, can't you even see that you're spiralling out of control? Everyone is worried enough about you, but now you're sneaking out most nights to go get drunk somewhere where nobody knows you are, and what, sleep around? After everything? After what he did to you? Is this because of Roy?"

Edward growled as he shoved past Al, frowning. He moved to his room, but Al followed him, not being careful enough to be quiet, knowing that he'd wake Winry. He couldn't bring himself to be too bothered though. Edward needed to stop acting like this. Not only was it clear that he wasn't dealing with what had happened to him, he was also clearly putting himself in danger and Al was worried about him.

"Ed, please just talk to me!" Al snapped as Edward ignored him. "Why are you acting like this? What can we do to help? You know that we care about you brother, and not just me and Winry, but everyone at the office too. And Mrs Hughes and Elicia and Granny all love you too. We are all here to listen to you, we want to help."

Edward stopped outside his door, whirling to glare at his younger brother. "Just drop it. I'm fine. So what if I go out and have a few drinks every now and then?"

"What was his name, brother?"

Edward blinked at his baby brother stupidly for a moment, his brain taking too long to make sense of the words. "What? Who?"

"The guy tonight that you have been with, Ed! The one leaving bruises on you. What was his name? Do you know it?" Al snapped. Behind him he heard a door open and he didn't need to turn around to know that it was Winry, the girl didn't say anything but Al watched as Ed's drunk gaze shifted to look at her before he turned back to his brother.

"Al, just drop it. Go to bed, both of you." Ed muttered, turning his back to them both and disappearing into his room without another word. The flash of light that seeped under the doorway was enough of a sign to Al that Ed had alchemically sealed his door shut. Letting out a frustrated sigh he turned to Winry and offered her a small smile.

"I'm sorry we woke you Win." He said quietly, his gaze moving back to Ed's bedroom door. He was worried. His brother had been through a lot these last few weeks, so much that Al didn't know where to even begin to try and help him, but he could see Ed slipping more and more. His brother was losing himself to his own sorrow. A hand on his arm pulled Al out of his thoughts and he turned back to face Winry, seeing a very similar look on her face.

"He'll be okay. We'll get him help and we're both here to look after him, Al. Edward is strong, Go get some sleep and we'll talk to him in the morning when he's sober." Winry told him gently, and Al was too tired and worried to argue with her. She watched him until he disappeared into his own room and then looked up at Edward's door with a small sigh. "Oh Ed..." Shaking her head, Winry went turned around and headed back to bed.

* * *

Knocking. Someone was knocking on his door and Edward groaned in response, burrowing further into his covers. It was too bright outside, and the knocking was bothersome. He just wanted to sleep. The knocking continued until Ed stuck his head out of the covers and growled "piss off" at whoever was on the other side. He was met with a sigh.

"Edward, get up. We need to leave soon." Winry snapped, clearly frustrated.

"Go away, Winry. Just go without me." Ed called back, turning to hide under the covers. He wasn't in the mood to go anywhere today, and his head was killing him.

"Edward! Don't make me break down this door. You are coming with us today so you better be ready in half an hour or I'm dragging you out however you look." She was angry, and that just made Ed sigh to himself. She didn't wait for a reply as she stormed off. Ed waited until he heard her speaking to Al until he crawled out of bed. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but even as he slipped out of his room and into the bathroom, they just continued their conversation.

He turned the shower on and undressed while he waited for the water to run hot. The hot water helped relax him, soothed aching muscles and helped wash away his bad mood. Memories of the previous night floated back into his brain. The bar wasn't exactly in the best part of the city, but the drink was cheap and strong. Edward had just finished his second when the guy approached him. Dark haired and soft, he was slightly younger than Ed but seemed to have more experience than Ed. He was confident and they had sat and spoke for a while, he was funny, and was intelligent too. When he was well and truly drunk Edward had leaned in to whisper in the guy's ear, his flesh hand pressed against the stranger's thigh, his thumb rubbing circles against the trousers.

It didn't take much convincing to get the guy out of the bar. There was a park across the road and when they had found a secluded area Ed wasted no time in pinning the man against a tree and kissing him roughly. His actions were met in kind, teeth scraping on his lips and a hand reached down to grab his ass. The stranger's mouth had moved to his neck, where he sucked and bit until Ed let out a quiet gasp. He had no idea how or when they had changed position but all of a sudden it was Edward who had his back against the tree, a mouth still kissing and biting his neck, a hand at his trousers, unbuttoning them and slipping inside to brush against his dick.

The fear had almost claimed him then, and he tensed long enough that the man had pulled away a little with a smile. Edward didn't get the chance to question the smile, or tell him to stop, because he had dropped to his knees and had already taken Ed into his mouth. The blonde groaned, leaning his head back against the tree as he focused on the hot, wet tongue that slipped along his cock, his hands running into the man's hair.

Edward groaned to himself, running a hand through his wet hair as he forced the memory from his mind, his flesh hand moving to stroke himself. He felt ashamed of what he'd done, but it had felt so good, he wanted more. What the hell was wrong with him? After everything that had happened to him, people would think that he would want to avoid anything sexual. Edward took a deep breath and then sighed, closing his eyes as he finished cleaning himself. He was tempted to wipe the mirror clear and get a look at himself, but he knew that he'd see the bruise on his neck and he didn't think that he would be able to cope with the shame of that.

He returned to his room and dressed quickly, Al had talked him into wearing a shirt for today and Edward had only agreed to it if he could wear a red one. When he was dressed, Edward ran a hand through his hair, frowning at the need to actually do it. He regretted cutting it all off now, if only so he could just tie it up and be done with it. A knock on his door was the only warning he got before Al poked his head into the room. Edward met his eyes in the mirror and almost drowned in the guilt that hit him. He had been such a dick to him last night, his baby brother was just worried and Edward had bit his head off. Al met his eyes and smiled as he entered the room, moving closer.

"Morning brother." He said cheerfully and that just made Ed feel like more of a dick. "How are you feeling? You seemed to have had a lot to drink last night."

"I'm okay, Al." Edward muttered, tugging at the collar of the shirt to make sure that the bruise was covered. "Look about last night..."

"Forget about it." Al interrupted, smiling sadly. "You're right, you can do what you want. We're all just worried about you. We're here for you Ed, you don't need to cope with this alone. If you need anything you can talk to us." Al paused for a moment that Ed met his eyes in the mirror again. Al looked sad, and Ed mentally kicked himself for being the cause of that. Al could clearly read his mind now, because he offered Ed a smile and then tugged on his arm. "I'm glad you wore the shirt. Come on."

The three of them left together, Ed carrying the gifts for Elicia's birthday, and made their way to the Hughes' house. It wasn't too far of a walk, Ed had managed to get an apartment in the nicer side of Central for him and Al so it didn't take them long until they were knocking on the door and greeted by Gracia who opened it shortly after. The woman ushered them in, thanking them all with a hug, but Ed was sure that his hug lasted longer than Winry's or Al's. Gracia had just started to whisper to Ed about how glad she was that he was safe when Elicia showed up.

"Edward!" Gracia moved just in time for the dark haired girl to launch herself at Ed. He stumbled back a few steps but hugged her back with a small smile. "We were all so worried when you went missing. Mum had to keep checking on Uncle Roy because he was working so hard that he wasn't eating or anything." The girl pulled back to look up at Edward, and he was too confused by her comment about Roy to even begin to question it. "Are you okay? What did they do to you? Did they cut your hair?" She asked with a frown.

Edward felt himself tense at the questions, and it took Gracia's gentle voice to pull him back from the edge of panic. He couldn't think about it, he couldn't give in to the fear that had clenched an icy fist around his heart. He wasn't sure what Gracia had said, but Elicia was looking sad and a little ashamed from it. Edward crouched down so he was eye level with her and offered her a smile.

"They weren't nice people, but it's okay. I'm back and they are all locked up."

"Uncle Roy got them all?" Elicia asked, pouting a little. Ed's heart clenched a little tighter.

"Yeah. He did."

A knock at the door drew their attention and while Gracia went to answer Ed moved to sit on the couch with a sigh. Al was at his right side, placing a supportive hand on his leg while Winry moved to his left and bumped her shoulder into his. They didn't say anything, and Edward found that he was extremely grateful of that. He didn't want to talk about it, but their silent support was comforting. They were there to pull him back if his mind ran off. They were there to keep him safe. Edward shut his eyes, dropping his head into his hands as he focused on his breathing, trying to push away the memories of his month in captivity.

"Uncle Roy!"

Edward groaned at Elicia's happy squeal. Of course Mustang would be here, why the hell wouldn't he be? Elicia was like family to him, and Ed knew that Mustang had tried to be like a father figure for the young girl since her father had been killed, something that Ed and Mustang both blamed themselves for. Letting out a deep breath, Ed looked up just as Roy walked in with Elicia on his hip, Gracia behind them. Instantly Ed's eyes went to the bruise on Roy's face, it was fading, but there was no mistaking the black eye. Concern threatened to overwhelm him, but he pushed it down. What had happened? Had there been an attack?

"What happened to your face, uncle Roy?" Elicia asked, her fingers moving to touch the bruise. Edward met Roy's eye from across the room and was so lost in those eyes and the memory of their kiss that he almost didn't notice Al tense next to him. He forced himself to look away, glancing at his brother as Roy turned back to Elicia with his most charming smile.

"Al...?" Ed asked quietly before Roy's words made everything fall into place.

"Oh don't worry, princess. I walked into a door."

Ed frowned, glancing back at Roy who was putting Elicia back down on the ground, the young girl giggling and telling him that he was silly for walking into a door. Roy met his gaze again but didn't hold it as he turned to go help Gracia. Winry was dragged away to play with Elicia which was perfect as it let Ed turn to Al, glowering.

"What the hell where you thinking?" He hissed at his younger brother. "You fucking punched him? When?"

Al just pouted and it was so damn adorable that Ed couldn't be angry at him for a moment, but it didn't last long and Ed just glared at his baby brother. "Oh no. Don't think that pouting will get you out of this."

"Brother, he hurt you. He needs to know that that isn't okay. I went to have a word with him the day after you came home." Al muttered, glaring into the kitchen at Roy's back, ignoring his older brother's sigh.

"Al, go and apologise."

The younger blonde snapped his head to the side, his shock clearly written on his face as his eyebrows furrowed and there was that damn pout again. The kid was evil, Ed decided. He knew that he was cute as all hell and he was trying to use it to get out of trouble. He had always been the same, even when they were kids. He shook his head but didn't reply to Ed, who stood and grabbed Al's wrist. "No, you don't get to not make up for this. You can't go around hitting people Al, especially my commanding officer."

"You go around hitting people all the time, brother."

"Not the point Al, it is literally my job to hit people most of the time. Now go say sorry."

"He hurt you!" Al whispered harshly, refusing to move closer and tugging his arm out of Ed's grip. He was infuriating and Ed made sure that he knew that. When Al stubbornly just shook his head and crossed his arms, Edward sighed, rubbing at his temples. He was too hungover for this.

"He didn't hurt me!" Ed snapped, glancing around to make sure that nobody was listening to them. "We kissed, okay? That was it. I kissed him and he told me all of the reasons why it was a bad idea. Now apologise to him or I will."

Edward glared at his baby brother, stubborn brat that he was, but Al was making it very clear that he wasn't about to move and do what Ed wanted. Letting out a frustrated growl, the older brother turned on his heel and stomped away to the kitchen, hearing Al's surprised squeak but ignoring it. He didn't think Mustang would take this forward, but it could cause so many problems and besides, Roy really didn't deserve to be punched in this face. Most of the time anyway. Roy looked up when he heard him approaching and Gracia offered him a warm smile.

"Ah... Fullmetal, Alphonse, its... its good to see you both." Mustang tried, his normally smug mask not quite sitting right. Ed hadn't even realised that Al had followed him but a glance over his shoulder confirmed that he had.

"Mustang, my brother has something he'd like to say." Ed said, turning to glare pointedly at his brother, but Al pouted and looked away, his eyes meeting Roy's and without warning his expression was dark and angry.

"You should be more careful. Walking into doors will never end well." Al said, offering a sweet smile that turned Ed's stomach. Little shit was just giving out threats, thinly veiled but there nevertheless. Edward groaned, shoving his brother out of the way before he met Roy's eyes and offered him a smart salute.

"Ed!..." Al sounded as shocked as the look on Mustang's face.

"General Mustang, sir!" Ed started, flashing a glare at his brother. "I wish to apologise for my brother's behaviour towards you. He had no excuse and I under..."

"At ease, Fullmetal." Roy interrupted and Ed dropped his hand but kept his eyes on Roy even as Al grabbed his arm to tug on him. "There's no need for that. As I said, I walked into a door, and the door did make a valid point after I did so."

"Roy...? Is everything okay?" Gracia asked from over his shoulder where she stood eyeing all three of them with concern and suspicion.

"The door he walked into was my brother's fist. He's refusing to apologise for it, so I am on his behalf." Edward said, glancing at Al who was now just glaring at the floor, his hands in fists at his sides. He turned back to Mustang. "I would have baked you cookies or some shit sooner if I knew he'd attacked you. He's just trying to protect me."

"I'm aware, its alright." Roy said, glancing between the brothers and then smiling at Gracia. "Everything is okay, Gracia. Do you need help setting up the table?" He offered, but Ed had an idea then.

"Yeah, Al'll help. I need to speak to Mustang in private for a moment." Ed said, but Al pulled him away a bit. Ed watched as Gracia turned to whisper something to Roy, before turning to his brother. "What? He's hardly going to attack me, Al?"

"Brother, I don't want you getting hurt like that again. I don't know exactly what happened but I know how much you care about him, even if you deny it. I know you, Ed, and you can't lie to me. I don't think its a good idea to talk to him." Al whispered at Ed, frowning and Ed wilted slightly, tugging his brother closer to hug him.

"Al, you know I love you, but you gotta trust me. Its fine. A misunderstanding," Ed pulled away, meeting his brother's worried eyes. "He's still my CO. Go help Mrs Hughes while I talk to him. Its military stuff anyway." Ed smiled at brother and turned to face Roy and Gracia, the woman watching the brothers fondly where Roy was wearing an expression that Edward didn't quite recognise. Ed nodded at Mustang and then headed out of the back door, knowing the older man would follow him.

The click of the door shutting behind him wasn't a surprise, but he flinched regardless. His nerves were making him twitchy, and he wanted to kiss Roy, and scream at him, and punch him to make the other eye match the one Al had bruised. He took a deep breath in through his nose and held it for a moment. "I am sorry that Al hit you."

"Its alright."

"No, its not." Ed turned to face Roy, who was casually leaning against the door, watching him with that same look on his face. "He had no right, and he overreacted and that's my shit. Look, all he knows is that we kissed and that you stopped it before it could turn into more of a mistake, and that's good. Its good that you stopped it. I know why you did and I'm totally okay with it." Edward was only vaguely aware that he was pacing. "I mean, fuck could you even imagine it? I don't know what I was thinking, you're like Central's biggest womaniser so I don't know why I kissed you, but its okay cause we can just forget it happened and you can go back to sending me on stupid missions so that I'm not pissing you off and I..."

"Edward!" Roy's hand grabbed his flesh wrist and Ed flinched at the contact, his blood running cold as he froze, panic gripping his heart and lungs tightly.

 _The hold on his wrist was tight, too tight. It was hurting him and the more he struggled against it the more it hurt. His fighting was useless. The older blonde smirked at him, watching him like he was something incredibly interesting. Ed wanted to scream, but he knew that nobody would come._

"Edward...?"

" _Edward..." Hal purred at him, gripping his fist tighter and Edward knew what was coming, he knew it and he felt sick and he wanted it all to just stop. A mouth at his, a hand holding onto his hair with such brutality that Ed could bare it, a knee pushing between his..._

"Ed!" Roy's voice cut through the memory and Edward found himself panting, clutching his wrist to his chest as he stared fearfully out at the hand that help him, the arm it was attached to, the body that controlled it. Roy. Not Hal. Hal was dead and Edward was safe. His eyes stung with tears and Edward turned away, wanting Roy to leave him so he could drown in shame.

"Its okay, Ed." Roy's voice was soft, quiet, and Fuck that just made Ed melt a little. "I'm sorry, I didn't even think. You seemed to be coping well that it foolishly never even crossed my mind."

"What?" Ed muttered, rubbing at his wrist and glaring at the grass beneath his feet. "The fuck are you going on about, Mustang?"

"You just had a flashback, didn't you?" Roy said gently, not moving an closer. "When I grabbed your wrist, it triggered one, didn't it?" Edward just shook his head, confused so Roy pushed on with a sad, knowing smile. "Its PTSD, Ed."

"Oh..."


	19. Part 1: Chapter 19

**AN:** So my life is still chaos and I love you all!

I've moved into my flat now so I can hopefully start to finally settle and stop stressing. My antidepressants have been changed (cause doctors are great so when you say 'hey I'm cutting myself again and thinking about suicide daily' they go 'cool we'll give you different drugs, come back in 3 weeks' - cause you know, I might not kill myself in that time and if I do then they have a free appointment, right?). So I have my own place that is all mine and mortgaged and I have internet so I'm hoping to be able to force myself back into my fanfics :) I have ideas for other RoyEd ones that is making this one a bit of a chore but I'm gonna try focus on this and not them.

Also, I met Vic and I died and everything ever is perfect. He is such a sweetheart and was so lovely and told us that he loved the fact that he's the reason we were friends (my cosplay wife and I) and we got his autograph and a photo with him. And yeah he's just so wonderful that we cried after it all cause he's just so nice and he's such a hero to us both.

tl:dr I'm back with another chapter!

 **Chapter 19**

Edward stared at his wrist some more, his heart racing and tried to stop himself from throwing up. He wasn't aware that he was shaking a little and his eyes still stung with unshed tears. Mustang stood behind him, supportive in his silence and didn't try to come any closer. PTSD, it did make sense, but it was something that Edward had never thought about. The nightmares he had were vivid, but his nightmares always had been after they tried to bring their mother back, and the flashback... Well Ed couldn't think of another reason for that, but it surely couldn't be that. He just was a bit sensitive to people touching him right now, and his wrist was still healing so it hurt, that was all.

"It's nothing. I'm fine." Edward mumbled, knowing that he didn't sound sure at all but unable to force himself to sound more confident. "Its fine. That's not why we're out here. I just... I wanted you to know that its fine, that you stopped us. I get it. I understand. I shouldn't... I..." Edward stumbled over his words, his eyes still on his wrist. He couldn't do this. He couldn't stand here, with the shame of what had happened, and lie to the man that graced his more intimate dreams. Al was right, Ed did care for Mustang, and being rejected by him hurt more than he would ever admit, even if he should have known better. So how could he stand here and tell that same man that he felt nothing and that he was okay with this. How could he forget the fire that Roy had lit in his core with that kiss?

How could he forget what Hal had done to him?

Of course Roy didn't want anything. Even if he was interested in men, why the hell would he be interested in Ed? The blonde shook his head, clenching his jaw. Fuck, he was so stupid. Of course. Roy wouldn't want to be with someone so weak, so pitiful. The shame was so over powering that Edward wanted to just disappear there and then. He didn't want to go back into the house, he didn't want to talk to Roy, or Gracia, and he knew that Al would take one look at him and know something was wrong. He couldn't worry Al any more, he couldn't worry Winry. He'd fucked up enough. He'd caused them enough pain. He needed out of here, he couldn't breathe here.

"Edward?" Roy's voice was quiet, soft. Ed could drown in that voice. He needed to leave. "Edward, you need to breathe. You're going to make yourself ill, you'll have a panic attack. You need to breathe, just focus on that."

The hand on his shoulder was enough. It was too much. He couldn't. Edward shook his head again, refusing to look at Roy, he needed a drink. It numbed him, and he needed numbed right about now. He couldn't cope with this. Edward shrugged off the hand and darted towards the back gate. He knew that he should go back inside, tell Al that he was leaving. He knew that he should listen to Roy and breath, but he just needed to move. Needed to run.

"Edward!" Roy called after him, footsteps following him as far as the gate where the older man froze, clearly torn between following Ed and getting Al. Edward took advantage of his hesitation and just kept running, ducking in and out of side streets and alleys until he was positive that he'd lost Roy, that he'd lost everyone. Stopping in an alley, Edward bent over, his hands on his knees as he panted. He was still building up his strength, he didn't have the energy for this. Tears stung his eyes and he couldn't stop them from slipping from his lashes. Fuck, how could he have be so bloody stupid to think that Roy would ever want to be with someone like him? Someone so tainted? As if the automail wasn't enough of a turn off – a constant reminder of his childhood mistakes – but he was tainted by Hal's touch, his mark was still branded into Ed's skin from the various wounds that were still healing.

In the next moment Edward was on his knees, the ground having spun out from beneath him as he gasped through his sobbing. His hands were splayed in front of him on the concrete, flesh and metal. The scream of anguish and frustration left his throat feeling raw and broken and he slammed his fists into the ground until blood smeared around it. Winry would freak about the scratches to his automail knuckles but he couldn't make himself care all that much about it. His lungs burned and his chest felt tight, like his ribs had gripped around his organs and were trying to burst them. He couldn't breathe and he curled up on himself as another sob tore its way out of his chest. Footsteps at the end of the alley broke through the fog that had clouded his mind, pulling him from his thoughts long enough to draw in a breath to try and calm himself.

"Boss?" Edward froze at Havoc's voice. Shit, the last thing he needed was someone he knew to see him like this. Edward forced himself to take in a deep breath, his hair only just long enough to hide his eyes as he reached up to wipe away any evidence of his tears, forgetting about the blood that still seeped from his torn knuckles.

"Edward?" That was Fuery and Edward groaned quietly to himself as he pushed himself to his feet. "Are you okay?"

"I need you both to not mention seeing me here to anyone. Especially Al and Mustang." Edward said, finally turning to face the two men. The concern on their faces was clear, and when Kain's gaze lingered on the blood that Ed had accidentally smeared across his face his concern only grew, whereas Havoc just frowned at Ed's words.

"Sure Boss, but why?" Havoc asked around the cigarette between his lips. "Did something happen? Did Al hit him again?"

Edward shook his head and sighed. He didn't want to talk about this to them. Not because he didn't trust them, he just didn't want to worry them. He didn't know how to stop them looking at him like he was about to shatter into a million pieces but it was starting to piss him off. Also, how did they knew that Al hit Mustang? Was Al that obvious about it? Did they knew why he'd done it? Ed had so many questions for the little shit when he got home.

"He shouldn't have hit him in the first place." He muttered, keeping his eyes down to avoid needing to look into those worried expressions. "But no, he didn't hit him. I just... I ran off, okay? I just needed space from them all and something Mustang said..." _It's PSTD, Ed._ "Just don't tell them you seen me, okay?"

Edward looked up just in time to catch the look between the two officers in front of him, and while he wasn't sure that he understood the look he bristled at it, instantly defensive but neither of them pushed it further. Havoc grinned around his unlit cigarette at him as though there was nothing wrong, but Kain wasn't as good at pushing his concern away.

"Sure Boss." Havoc was saying as he moved closer to Ed. "We're meeting the others at the bar if you wanna join us? I know that we'd all like the catch up. With you being on leave its been forever since we all just hung out together."

"Yeah, why not." Ed said, offering him a grin. He was planning on finding a bar anyway, at least this way he would have company.

* * *

He didn't know how long it have been but when Ed was next aware of the time it was when he was happily buzzed, laughing at something Breda had said when he was aware of a slight shift in the mood of the group. He glanced over his shoulder to what they were looking at and his gaze fell on a man about Havoc's age who had his arm wrapped around another man's shoulders. Ed frowned, not understanding what the problem was as he turned back to his group. "What's wrong?"

There was grumbles in reply to him but nobody seemed to want to answer him. It was Kain that eventually spoke up after clearing his throat quietly. "That man is a captain. He's recently came out as gay." Edward looked over his shoulder again at the other man with a frown, letting his gaze roam the other man's body for a second. It felt like there was a lead weight in his stomach, and suddenly he didn't want to be here. Were Mustang's team so bothered by a guy liking other guys? What would they think if they knew about Ed? Hell, he wanted to fuck their commanding officer. If this was how they were reacting about some other guy then what would they think if they found out that Ed had kissed Mustang.

"Is that... a problem?" Ed heard himself ask, silently amazed at how calm his voice came out.

"No, of course not." That was Falman, the older man frowning at Edward. "There are plenty of gay officers in the military, that's not a problem at all."

"Yeah, it means there's more women for me." Havoc said with a grin, causing the others to laugh and for Breda to elbow him in the ribs.

"Yeah cause you need all the help you can get on that front, Jean."

Edward watched Mustang's team for a moment before looking back at the other officer. He didn't understand the shift in the mood then. If they didn't care that he was gay, then what was the issue? He turned back to Fuery to ask him as Havoc argued with Breda about his skill with women.

"Hey Fuery, so what's the issue with him then?"

"Oh, yeah. Its not because he's gay. As Vato said there are other openly gay officers in the military, its just..." Kain paused, a light blush on his face that Edward simply raised an eyebrow at. "Its just, he came into the office a few days ago looking for you. He didn't tell us why but the General chased him off and was in a really bad mood after it. Havoc thinks he was going to try asking you out on a date."

"Huh..." It wasn't Ed's best response ever, but he wasn't sure what else to reply with as he looked over his shoulder again, this time meeting the other man's eye. He wasn't subtle with the way that his gaze roamed Ed's body, smirking a little to himself and Ed felt the blood rush to warm his cheeks as he smirked back at the man before turning back to the team. Maybe today didn't have to be as awful as it seemed like it was going to be.

"But from the look the Boss has maybe Mustang shouldn't have chased him off after all." Breda teased and Edward knew that the light blush was now a brilliant red as he reached out to kick the older man in the shin. He grumbled in pain but the laughter that rang out around the table only heightened his embarrassment.

"Piss off guys." Edward muttered, downing the rest of the drink, thankful for the burn it left in the back of his throat.

"Didn't know you were that way inclined Boss, always thought you'd marry that mechanic of yours and have little blonde devils." Havoc added with a laugh. "But hey, if you're into dudes then he's still checking you out."

"I... What... No." Ed stammered, growling low in the back of his throat. "First off, Winry is like a sister to me, that shit is just too weird to even consider. Besides I'm pretty sure she's completely in love with Al. Secondly..." He paused, did he have a second point? "So what if I'm into men..." Saying that out loud still made him flinch a little, he didn't know how people were gonna react, but Mustang's team didn't seem to care.

"Go say hi to him, Ed." Kain said sweetly next to him, while Havoc and Breda just cheered and Edward silently begged the ground to open up and swallow him there and then. If someone could die of embarrassment then he was sure that his own would have killed him there and then. Before he could tell them to piss off, Havoc was dragging him to his feet and over to the bar where the captain stood.

"The hell are you doing Havoc, get off me." Ed snarled, digging his heels in even as the other man tugged him along.

"I'm gonna introduce you." He said slightly, grinning down at Edward's scowl as if the answer was obvious and nothing more than just going to get another drink from the bar. Havoc stopped in front of the other group of officers and Edward was sorely tempted to just turn and walk away and leave the idiot there.

"Ethan, its good to see you again. Ed, this is Ethan, he went to the academy with me so we go way back. Ethan, I know you know of Edward, but for..."

"Fuck sake, shut up Havoc." Edward interrupted, making Ethan laugh and that alone was enough to get Ed to smile at him. He was cute, he'd give him that.

"I didn't think General Mustang would let you come talk to me with how he chased me out the other day." Ethan admitted, holding Ed's gaze as he offered his hand to shake. Edward took it without thinking, but the other man didn't seem bothered by the automail that met his own hand. It wasn't something new – Ed didn't think there was anyone in the military that didn't know about the Fullmetal Alchemist having automail, but most people still were weird about it. Edward grinned at Ethan, a spark of mischief in his eyes.

"Mustang isn't the boss of me." Ed replied, letting his gaze take in all of the man in front of him, brown hair neatly swept up into a ponytail, not as long as Ed's had been, but long enough to tie up into a small tail or bun, and a dusting of stubble along his jaw. Blue eyes smiled at him and Edward let his eyes linger on his lips as he released his hand.

"Technically that's exactly what he is, Boss." Havoc interrupted and Ethan laughed as Edward shot a glare at the other blonde.

"Don't be stupid, Havoc. Mustang has never been able to control me."

That got another laugh out of Ethan and with a shrug and a wave, Havoc turned and left them to go and join the others. Edward glanced back at Mustang's team, slightly insecure but none of them were paying attention to him any more, as if him making a move on another man was something normal? Ethan's voice got his attention and Edward turned around to the other man again with a questioning look.

"I asked if I could buy you a drink." Ethan said with a knowing smile. "And possibly dinner tomorrow night?"

Edward opened his mouth to reply, to shoot him down on instinct and paused, closing his mouth again and frowning slightly. Why shouldn't he say yes? This guy was cute, and clearly interested. After closing his mouth and thinking about the offer long enough that Ethan had began to look really nervous, Edward grinned at the other man and then nodded. "Sure, why the hell not."

"What's your poison, Elric?" Ethan asked with a smile, pulling Ed towards the bar and away from the group that he was with. Once Ethan had ordered their drinks – both avoiding whiskey, which Ed was happier about than he cared to admit – they settled themselves side by side in a booth. Ethan told Ed about training with Havoc, how they had spoken but were never friends as such. He knew that Havoc was a good shot, and had been happy for him to make it through the ranks and into Mustang's command.

"What's he like anyway? As a CO I mean." Ethan asked as Edward focused on taking a drink and not thinking about kissing Mustang. "You hear so many stories, you know? A lot of people talk about him as if he's just some clueless womaniser that sucks up to the right people, but wasn't he behind the revolt against Bradley?"

"Mustang's got more going on inside his skull than he'd like to make out." Edward said vaguely with a shrug. While the thought of his CO was enough to get him hot and bothered, Edward would rather not be thinking about him while he was trying to work his magic on a different man.

"Yeah. I suppose he does. I mean he got you into the military when you were still just a kid."

Edward frowned at the pause that Ethan gave with that last comment and sighed as he turned in his seat to fully face him. "Look, for the record, Mustang isn't the worst superior, he cares for his men. We're more than just cannon fodder. Yes, he enlisted me as a kid but any rumours that we done anything together are complete bullshit. I hated the bastard until just a few years ago and as you said, he's a complete ladies man so he's not gonna abuse a male child. Now can we move on from talking about my CO cause its not great for the mood."

That was a lie. Mustang was amazing for setting the mood. Everything about the man was exactly what Edward wanted involved in the mood. He wasn't about to tell Ethan that though. The other man laughed, his hand coming up to brush along Ed's cheekbone as his eyes dropped to Ed's lips for the briefest second.

"You're right, sorry." Ethan practically purred, and Edward smirked back at him as the other man moved closer, pressing his lips to Ed's softly, shyly. Edward kissed him back, trailing his teeth along Ethan's bottom lip and all of a sudden any hesitation that the other man had was gone and he was pulling Edward up to straddle his lap as his hand slipped around the back of the blonde's head to pull him in for a hard kiss.

* * *

Roy knew that his team would be at the bar. They made a regular meetup, every Friday, to come to this bar and just relax after work. They would all be there – except for Riza who only showed up on occasion – and he needed to get them to look for Ed. He had went in and gotten Al instantly when Ed had ran off. They had all then set out to look for the blonde, Winry going back to the Elrics' apartment to check there for Ed. Al had headed to the library in the hopes to find his brother lost in the shelves of books, and Roy had headed for Chris'. His aunt hadn't seen him, but had told her girls to keep an eye out and if she heard anything she'd make sure that Roy knew. He than had came to find his team. He knew that Edward was capable of defending himself, but he wasn't in a good place. If he was suffering from PTSD as Roy suspected then he didn't want him to run off and get himself into bother.

It was easy enough to find his team and Mustang wasted no time in moving to them. They didn't seem to mind him showing up, but they're cheerful manner did disappear when they saw the look on his face. Havoc looked like he knew exactly why Roy was there in a foul mood, and Kain looked like a puppy that had been caught chewing the furniture. Breda and Falman just looked curious at Roy's serious expression.

"Havoc, Fuery." Roy said, turning to them. They knew something. "Where is Fullmetal?" He didn't beat around the bush, and he knew that his suspicions were correct when both men flinched. He followed their gaze to a booth across the room, tucked away in a corner and secluded. In this booth was the captain that had come in asking for Edward the other day, and straddling said captain was the very man that he was looking for. Roy had to bite back the growl in the back of his throat at the sight. He knew why it pissed him off so much, but he couldn't exactly admit to that in front of his team; or at all for that matter.

"He told us not to tell you that we saw him, sir." Kain was explaining as Roy turned his glare away from the booth and back to his men. "Havoc and I found him in an alley not far from here, his knuckles were bleeding and his automail was all scratched up too."

"He seemed really shaken up, Chief." Havoc added with a frown. "What's going on? He didn't tell us anything really, just said that he ran off because of something you said?"

"Yes, I seemed to have triggered a flashback when we were talking at Gracia's." Roy explained, running a hand through his hair, "When I told him that he was suffering from PTSD he didn't seem to take it too well. He needs to understand that he can't just disappear like that though, Alphonse is worried enough about him. I am glad that you found him and that he's okay, but in the future I want you all to report to me if you see Fullmetal acting out of character. That is an order gentlemen. Am I understood?"

Once all four of them had confirmed his order, Mustang nodded curtly to them, wished them a pleasant evening and then turned to move towards the booth that Edward was in. He needed to pull his anger in, and he needed to get Edward home safely. He just didn't know how to do either without a fight, because Roy Mustang knew for a fact that if he tried to order Edward home then the blonde was going to create a scene, but he couldn't let him go off with this other man – which he was also aware that he had no right to stop.


	20. Part 1: Chapter 20

**AN:** Oh look at this. Another update!

I'm not going to lie to you guys, I had most of this written already, just waiting to whenever it was appropriate to crowbar it into the story so I kinda cheated with this chapter by having most of it written months ago haha. All I had to do was set it up, and edit it slightly to fit the way the story has progressed on its own. It had been so much fun to write whenever it was that I wrote it, and it was fun to read through again so I'm thinking you guys are gonna enjoy it.

 **Chapter 20**

Edward pulled away from the kiss with a soft moan slipping past his breathless lips as a mouth teased kisses down his jaw and neck. Ethan chuckled against his skin and then pulled away to meet Ed's eyes, pupils large with need. Edward ran a flesh hand through dark hair that he'd already freed from its ponytail. The blonde smirked at the man beneath him, grinding down against him and being rewarded by a breathless gasp of pure lust as he felt Ethan's steadily hardening cock through his trousers. Ed leaned in, his lips against Ethan's ear, about to suggest that they get out of there when the sound of someone approaching caught his attention. He shifted to turn to whoever it was and tell them to piss off but when his eyes met Roy's he froze.

Mustang looked pissed, but was hiding it behind one of his infamous masks. Edward had just dealt with enough of those looks to know that the General was angry. He guessed it made sense, he had ran off, but really he was an adult. He didn't need baby sat.

"Fullmetal, fancy seeing you here." Mustang all but snarled it, turning his gaze to Ethan who was awkwardly blushing and trying to get Edward to move. The blonde just sighed and slipped off of Ethan's lap, raising an eyebrow at Mustang. "Captain. I thought I had made myself clear..."

"Shut up Mustang." Ed sighed, tilting his head back against the seat, his flesh hand resting against Ethan's thigh. "You have no right to tell me who I can date, so that means you have no right to tell him not to pursue it." Edward gave Mustang a very pointed glare and he knew that Roy understood. After rejecting him, Mustang didn't have any right to get involved in Ed's personal life. "Now, is there a reason you're here being a pain in my ass?"

He felt Ethan tense next to him, but he didn't move his glare from Roy. "Edward! You can't speak to your CO like that. General Mustang, sir, I..."

"Shut it." Mustang snapped, and Edward pushed himself to his feet in his anger as Ethan did exactly that. "Full..."

"Piss off!" Edward snapped, moving to fully face Roy, glaring up at him. "I'm on leave, Mustang. So you have no need to be here demanding my time. If you're just here to throw a bitch fit then piss back off home cause I am not dealing with your fucking bullshit right now."

"Your brother is concerned."

Edward paused, forcing himself not to flinch as memories of earlier flickered past his mind. Of course Al would be concerned. Ed had went to talk to Mustang and then had disappeared for hours. Bastard knew that he wouldn't just disregard his brother or his feelings. Gritting his teeth, Edward just glared up at Mustang even as he heard Ethan slip out of the booth. The other man didn't come any closer, but he did clear his throat loud enough that Edward glanced over his shoulder at him.

"Is everything alright?" Ethan asked, frowning as he took in the anger that was bound to be visible between Roy and Ed. The blonde nodded, offering Ethan a small smile and reaching out to take his hand.

"Everything's fine. Al's just a bit over protective right now. Its okay, Mustang can go and let my baby brother know that I'm perfectly safe." Edward said, throwing a look back at Mustang who just raised his eyebrow in response. Edward glared at him before turning back to Ethan with a coy smile. He stepped closer to the other man, completely ignoring the barely audible growl from his commanding officer. "Since the whole kidnapping thing, Al worries. Once he knows that I'm safe then he'll be fine. How about me and you get outta here?" Edward practically purred the offer at Ethan, and the other man blushed endearingly, glancing at Mustang who Edward could still feel glowering at them.

Edward stepped closer to Ethan, right into his personal space – close enough to feel the heat from his body rolling off him in waves, and looked at him through his lashes, reaching his hand up to trace a feather-light touch across Ethan's bottom lip. "We could continue to get to know each other." Edward whispered it to him, moving in close to kiss behind his ear and was rewarded with a needy sigh, making him smirk against the skin under his lips.

"Fullmetal..."

"Piss off Mustang." Edward cut in, not even bothering to turn back to Roy now. If he wasn't going to leave on his own then Ed would just ignore him until he left on his own. He wasn't about to let Mustang tell him who he could date, or sleep with, or do anything to for that matter. He didn't know why Roy was so pissed, or why he had chased Ethan off but Edward didn't care. If anything, it made him want to go unspeakable things with Ethan even more, just because Roy was trying to stop him for some reason. "So what do you say? We can go back to your place? I'd suggest mine but my brother and mechanic will be there and that would be no fun. They'd kill the mood faster than this bastard." Ed gestured over his shoulder to Roy, smirking at the huff that he heard Roy give. Ethan hesitated for a moment, looking between the two men but then smirked at Edward and pulled him in for a passionate kiss. When they pulled away to catch their breath, Edward laughed and moved to pull Ethan out of the bar, ignoring Mustang who called out after them.

* * *

The wall to his back was cold and rough but it couldn't distract him from the mouth that was against his, the tongue that was tasting his, the teeth that nibbled on his lip. A small, needy moan slipped past his lips as the other man fisted his hand in Ed's hair, roughly pulling on it to expose his neck. The other man's tongue slowly moved up the column of his throat and Edward swallowed another moan, his hands moving to the man's hips and pulling him closer. The man groaned, pushing his hips into Ed's. The hardness that greeted Ed made him pause, a spark of fear killing all his lust, but the man at his neck didn't seem to notice. A hand was on his belt now, and the sound of it getting undone was enough to break the spell. Ed grabbed his hands, stopping him and the man just smirked at him, leaning in and kissing him. Edward pulled away though, turning his head to the side. "Stop."

"Stop? Oh come on, you don't mean that?" The man said, his hands moving to fumble with Ed's belt again, his mouth sucking at the tender spot just behind his ear. The same action had turned his knees to jelly just moments before, and now just left him feeling cold and sick.

"I said stop!" Ed snapped, pushing the man away and moving to do his belt up again. The night air was suddenly so cold around him and he forced himself not to shiver. It can't have gotten so cold that fast. It was all in his head, it had to be, but it felt like he had just been thrown into ice water.

"What the fuck?" The man snapped, and Ed just glared at him. "What's wrong with you? You can't come along and turn me on so fucking bad and then just tell me to stop. That's not fucking okay! You can't just leave me hanging. This was your fucking idea, Elric!"

"Look, just piss off. I don't want to any more."

There was footsteps at the end of the alley, but Edward refused to look towards them. Refused to take his eyes of the man in front of him. He looked so fucking pissed at Ed in that moment, Edward almost expected him to try and throw a punch. The footsteps moved closer.

"Don't be such a fucking tease. Come on, you want this. You fucking started this! Something dear old Mustang said make you not want to now? Come on Edward, ignore what he was going on about. Loosen up and lets just have some fun." The other man said, moving closer to try and kiss Edward's neck again. He didn't get that far though and Edward watched as a hand was on the other man's shoulder and pulling him back. The man spun to face the newcomer, furious, blocking them from Ed's line of sight. "What the fuck do you want? This doesn't concern the military."

 _Military? Shit._

"I believe he told you that he didn't want to go any further. I'm pretty sure that means that you need to stop." Mustang spoke, his voice hard and unforgiving and he didn't meet Edward's gaze as the blonde peeked around the man between them. "I think you should probably leave before this gets unpleasant."

Edward watched as Ethan shrugged Mustang's hand off and turn a furious glare at himself. "You're such a fucking tease, Elric. To hell with you." His stomping footsteps echoed around the alley as he stormed off, and Edward stared at the opposite wall, swallowing his nausea and the beginnings of fear. He knew that Mustang was pissed, had heard it in his tone. Well fuck him. This didn't concern him.

"Fullmetal, what on earth..." Mustang started, and Edward rolled his eyes at the coming lecture.

"Look Mustang, its none of your business. I'm not some fucking damsel in distress. I don't need you to come riding in and save me, okay, so just piss off." Ed muttered, turning to leave. A hand caught his left wrist and he paused, looking down at the familiar arrays on the backs of Roy's ignition gloves.

"That's not how it looked. What the hell are you doing getting yourself into situations like this Edward?" Mustang snapped, taking his hand back as Edward turned to glare at him. "You have to know how worried your brother gets when you act out like this."

"Act out? Oh fuck off! I was blowing off some steam with some guy I met in a bar. Some guy I was fully intending on blowing. Its hardly some life or fucking death situation. Al doesn't even know I'm here, you said so yourself, so don't pull that shit." Ed snapped, glaring up at Roy's face. The bastard gave nothing away in his face except for perhaps frustration. "Did you fucking follow me out here or some shit?"

"You realise that its worse that Alphonse doesn't know where you are?" Mustang muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing as if Edward was being particularly difficult just for the fun of it. "I wasn't following you. I was heading home and heard you protesting against him so I came to help."

"I don't need your fucking help, Mustang! Damn when the fuck did you start to care anyway?"

"I have always cared about the men under my command and whether or not you want to accept it Edward, that includes you, so..."

"Bullshit! Don't pretend to me, Mustang." Edward snapped, glaring up at the slightly taller man. He was so angry that his face was burning, and he just wanted to hit something. This whole thing was meant to release some of that frustration and anger and then Mustang had to come along and fuck it all up again. "Don't act like you care about me. All we've ever done is be at each other's throats. You used me, and that's fine, cause me 'nd Al used you right back, but that was never caring about me. So back the fuck off, okay? Just leave me alone and stop pretending to give two fucks about me."

"I do care Edwa..."

"Just shut the fuck up!" Ed was only faintly aware of shouting now, he was too focused on the crushing pain in his chest. Why did the thought of Mustang not caring about him hurt so fucking much? Why did it make it feel like his ribs were breaking, like his whole chest was collapsing in on itself? His pulse was pounding in his ears and his vision was blurring with tears that he refused to shed. The fear from before lingered just beyond the shame that threatened to choke him. "Don't lie to me! You're only here because Al sent you, and you have some messed up sense of responsibility to us. You watched us grow up and I get that you tried to protect us as best as you could then, but I'm not a fucking child any more Mustang so stop trying to control me! I'm not a pawn you can move around to gain some fucking leverage with some snooty bastard that'll help you rise through the ranks. So just back the hell off! Why the hell would you care about me anyway, after everything I've done? I fucking made a move on you for fuck sake, Mustang! So why the fuck would you care about some piece of shit like me?"

"Because I'm in love with you, you little shit!"

Roy had shouted it back, and from the stunned and almost horrified look on his face, he was as surprised by the confession as Edward was. The blonde blinked, and then blinked again and then frowned. He didn't understand the words and his eyes searched Roy's face for anything that would help explain anything to him, but his commanding officer just pulled his gaze away, pinching his nose with a sigh and a scowl on his face. What this some kind of sick joke?

"Mustang..."

"Just go home Edward."

And then Roy was walking away and fuck that hurt more than the thought of him not caring. That hurt so fucking much that Edward felt like he couldn't breathe, he couldn't think. He needed this; needed it like oxygen. He darted forward and wrapped his fingers in the sleeve of Mustang's black military coat.

"You can't just... You can't say shit like that and not mean it. You can't just say that and then walk away from me." Edward muttered, his eyes searching Roy's face as he moved in front of him. His eyebrows knitted together when Roy looked away, but the older man didn't move away this time. He didn't turn his back on Edward. He didn't meet Edward's eyes, and looked like he was biting his cheek or was gritting his teeth. He didn't look like he was joking, but could he have meant it? If he meant it, then why did he reject Ed the week before? "What the hell do you mean you love me?"

"Look, Edward, its been a long day. I just want to go home and nurse a stiff drink for a while. You should go home too. You're still recovering."

"Did you mean it?" Edward asked, ignoring everything that Roy had just spoken, his fingers gripping onto Roy's sleeve tighter and he didn't realise how his heart was stuttering in anticipation. Could he have meant it? It had hurt for Edward to know that he couldn't ever be with this man, this man who he had grown to admire and respect, this man who Edward loved almost as much as he loved his brother, but in a completely different way. A man whose side Edward wanted to stand by, through everything. A man who up until a moment ago, Edward was sure would never look at him twice. A man that Edward had been sure only found himself attracted to women.

"Edward..."

"Did you mean it, Roy?" Ed repeated and watched the play of emotions on the older man's face. Embarrassment, frustration; those were easy to recognise. Ed often saw those same expressions on his own face. There was more, other emotions that flickered by so fast that Edward couldn't make sense of them before finally, Roy met his eyes and he just looked so defeated.

"Yes." Roy sighed, shaking his head. He opened his mouth to say something else, but Edward stopped him, made sure that he couldn't say anything by throwing himself into the older man's chest. He fisted both hands into the lapels of Roy's jacket and pulled him down to crush their mouths together. He swallowed Roy's startled gasp, using it to slip his tongue into Roy's mouth and taste him as he pulled him closer. The kiss was hard, and fast and when Roy pulled away slightly Edward found that he was shaking. Too many emotions were swimming through his body, but he didn't know how to deal with any of them. He didn't know what to do except to kiss Roy again, and this time Roy didn't hesitate in claiming him.

The wall was against his back again, but Edward didn't pay it the blindest bit of attention as he gave himself to Roy. Could he express his feelings through a kiss alone? Could he tell Roy how much he needed him just by tasting him? Edward wrapped his flesh leg around the back of Roy's knees, tugging him in closer and pushing their bodies together roughly as Roy's hand went to the back of his neck, the other hand moving to grip his wrists, firmly but still gentle. For the briefest moment, Edward tensed, his heart pounding in his chest for another reason entirely as the memories of rope tying him down flashed across his mind. Roy seemed to sense the change because he released him instantly, his hands moving to cup Edward's face as the kiss turned soft, gentle, before Roy pulled away completely. "Edward..."

"Shut up." Edward whispered back, their foreheads were pressed together, their lips so close that they barely had to move their mouths to speak. "Roy... I..." Edward paused, moving away slightly so that he could fully look up at Mustang. "I don't understand. Last week..." Edward shook his head, his eyes dipping to glance at Roy's lips again. Red and slightly damp from his attention. Fuck, Edward was so screwed. "Last week you stopped this. Stopped us. I don't understand."

"The reasons I stopped us then are still valid now." Roy said, moving back a step and out of reach of Edward. He straightened his clothing and glanced back at Edward with an unreadable look. "I was furious seeing you in the bar with that Captain, and sick at the thought of you going home with him, but I knew that I couldn't rightfully stop you. When I saw what was happening here I couldn't just ignore it. I have no doubt that you would have broken his jaw before anything happened, but the thought of him touching you when you told him not to made me want to..." Roy paused, looking away. "I'm not proud of the things I wanted to do to him." He was looking down at his gloves and Edward was pretty sure that he knew what Roy had wanted to do then. "Edward, the thought of you going around doing things like this has been killing me. More than I am happy to admit in all honesty. I hadn't intended to confess any of this to you. I was going to go home, call your brother and then drown my feelings in a bottle of whiskey."

Edward moved forward, taking Roy's wrist in his hand and smiling up at him. "Come home with me." He heard himself ask, surprised by his own boldness but not overly concerned by it. "I'm not asking for anything. Just, come home with me. We can discuss this, discuss us. That way you don't need to worry about me getting home safe and I could crash on the couch so you could have the bed. Its a comfy enough couch so I don't mind. My bed would be better for you anyway, someone of your age shouldn't be sleeping on a couch at any rate."

"Oh is that right?" Mustang snarled, glaring at Edward and turning on him fully, a hard but lustful look still in his eyes. "Well I, at least, can reach a bed. Do you have a step to get into it or does your baby brother lift you into it?"

"The fuck? Oh you are so fucking dead Mustang! I'm going to kick your a..." Edward shouted, but was silenced as Roy laughed, kissing him again and that really wasn't fucking fair. How was he meant to be angry if Roy kissed away any rational thought.

"I'll walk you home, Fullmetal. I'm sure Alphonse would kill me if I didn't at this rate."

Edward laughed at that. Yeah, Al probably would. He still might, granted, but at least if Mustang sees Edward safely home, his little brother would possibly settle for a light maiming instead of outright death. Edward watched, transfixed, as Roy moved a respectable distance away, tugging his clothes fully back into perfect position and then running a hand through his hair. It was an amazing thing to see the masks fall back into place, replacing Roy Mustang with General Mustang in an instant. To an onlooker, Roy was as uninterested as a commanding officer could be in one of his men, but Edward could easily see past the facade and see the fondness that lingered in his face. Yeah, today definitely wasn't turning out to be as awful as it started, and Edward couldn't even care about waiting for the other shoe to drop.


	21. Part 1: Chapter 21

The wrench hit his head the moment the door opened and while Edward really should have seen it coming, he would have liked at least a damn second to be able to try and avoid being brained by Winry. He opened his mouth to say as such but froze when he finally took in the scene that he'd walked into. Winry looked livid, and while her hard glare was burning a hole straight through to the back of his skull, they also gave away that she had been crying. Red and still slightly puffy, it was clear that the girl had only stopped crying recently and it was enough to guilt any argument into hiding away.

His eyes left Winry and found Al, standing in the doorway to the kitchen but his younger brother wouldn't even meet his eyes and that alone was enough to really wound Edward. Alphonse looked devastated, and Edward couldn't remember seeing such a look on his baby brother's face since their mother had died. Knowing that he was the cause of that pain in Alphonse was like a red hot dagger to the chest. Edward took a sharp in take of breath, and that one action seemed to hit the pause button on the whole thing and suddenly Al was looking away from them all, gazing off at the opposite wall as Winry started screaming at him.

"YOU INCONSIDERATE PIECE OF SHIT, EDWARD ELRIC!" Winry screamed at him, tears racing down her cheeks again. "How dare you? You can't keep doing this to us! Do you have any idea how that feels? Do you even care?" Edward opened his mouth to speak, to try to defend himself but the sharp sting from Winry's palm across his face stole his words. "Don't fucking try and talk your way out of this! We want to help you. We don't know how you must be feeling and we are here for you but you cannot just fuck off whenever you damn well please, Edward! Do you have any idea what that does to us? To Al? You were missing for a month, Edward! You could have been dead and then you just run off when you damn well please? How would you feel if it was Alphonse that had been kidnapped, tortured and raped and then when you finally got the pieces of him back he just shut you out and vanished whenever he fucking pleased!"

Winry stopped her screaming as a sob tore out of her and when Al moved to her side, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder she turned to him and buried her face into his neck as she sobbed. Al just tugged her closer, hugging her and still wouldn't look at Edward.

"You're such a jerk, Edward!" Winry mumbled into Al's neck through her crying, and Edward dropped his gaze at the heartbroken sound of it. "We're so scared for you and all you're doing is whoring yourself around and shutting us out and its terrifying! We can feel you slipping away from us and nothing we do seems to help."

"Winry... Al, I..." Edward tried to speak, but his brother looked at him then, and the look was enough to silence Edward as Al then looked behind him to Roy, who Edward had totally forgotten was still with him.

"Thank you for bringing him home, General." Al said, offering Mustang a smile that wasn't even trying to be convincing. When Edward reached out to his brother, Al just stepped away, pulling Winry with him and shooting a look that should have killed in Edward's direction. Ed's chest felt tight, and he felt like he was going to vomit from the agony that one look caused.

"Al, I'm sor..."

"Save it, Brother." Al muttered, letting go of Winry and turning away from him. "I don't want to talk to you." He muttered before he stormed off and the slam of his bedroom door echoed through the house. Edward stared down the hallway after his brother, and took a step forward but Winry's glare made him reconsider. The still sniffling girl turned to Roy then, offering him a small smile.

"Sorry about all of this, General. How about you stay for a bit and Edward can make some tea?" She worded it like an offer, but it wasn't and both men knew that. Edward didn't even wait for Roy's response before stomping off into the kitchen, fighting back his own tears. How was he still managing to fuck up and hurt the people he loved like this? By now you'd think he would know better.

Roy watched Edward leave with a sad look before he turned and smiled at Winry. "I would like that." He replied smoothly, taking the seat that the young woman offered before she sank down into her own, dropping her head into her hands. "If there is anything I can do, Miss Rockbell, to make things easier then please tell me."

Winry shook her head, sighing as she sat back in her seat. "Thank you, General.."

"Call me Roy, I'm not at work."

Winry let out a short grunt of laughter at that. "You should be, having to deal with his stubborn ass." She muttered, looking towards the doorway to the apartment's kitchen. "Thank you though, Roy, but I don't think that there is anything that you could do. I would say you should order him to get a grip and stop acting like this, but we both know that he'd ignore you and do what he wanted regardless." Winry said, sighing again and shaking her head. "Can't he see what he's doing to us? Can't he see that we just want to help him? I don't know why he's being like this, Roy. Why would he just vanish like that without telling us? Why would he just run off and what, to go get drink and have some guy take advantage of him?"

If the girl noticed Roy's flinch at that last comment then she didn't mention it. Was that what Roy had done? Had he taken advantage? He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I can't fully understand why Edward does anything that he does, but I do know why he ran off. Its not my place to really say, but I believe that Edward is suffering from PTSD. I seemed to have triggered a flashback and he understandably didn't take it well. I will see to it that he gets all the available help in order to ease his recovery." Roy looked up at that moment, catching sight of movement out of the corner of his eye as Edward walked back into the room with a tray of mugs in his hands. He watched the pair of them talk for a moment, and Roy offered him a brief smile before he turned back to Winry. "I promise you that I will see to it personally that he gets the best help the military can offer."

Edward moved into Winry's line of sight then, placing the tray down on the table in the living room before he grabbed a mug and handed it out to her in silence. She glared at him for a moment and then took it, watching as he dropped to kneel in front of her. "Win, I am sorry." Edward started. "I've been such an ass lately and I hadn't even thought about you or Al and that was so shitty of me. I just... I don't know how to talk about it. I don't want you and Al knowing what happened, not in detail. But that needs to stop. I know that now." Edward mumbled, turning to sit on the floor with his back to the couch where she sat silently. Edward looked over at Roy, meeting his gaze and finding the strength he needed in his obsidian eyes.

"I went out to talk to Roy about the fact that I had kissed him. When he grabbed my wrist to stop me pacing I..." Edward shut his eyes, taking a deep breath and forced himself to continue. "Hal wound restrain me, so when Roy grabbed me I panicked. I shouldn't have ran off but I just... I couldn't breathe Winry. I was right back there in that room with him holding me down and I could hear him and feel his breath on my neck and... hell I could even smell the whiskey on his breath and the only thing I knew in that moment was just that I had to get out of there and away from everyone." Edward didn't realise that he was shaking until there was a hand in his, a slightly rough thumb tracing over his cut knuckles.

Edward looked up to see that Roy had moved to him, and was currently holding his flesh hand. A glance over his shoulder, confirmed that Winry had witnessed the whole thing, but she didn't seem to care. She was crying again, and when she met Ed's gaze she slipped off of the couch and wrapped him into a hug. The moment he felt her arms around him, he couldn't hold it in any longer. He hugged her back, pressing his face into her hair and weeping. "I'm so sorry Winry. I just needed to disappear. I needed to forget. Fuck its all I can think about and its killing me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He whispered to her, crying into her hair and each gasped breath he took in was laced with the smell of machine oil and hints of floral shampoo. Roy's hand stayed in his and it was only the smell of Winry's hair and the gentle caress across his knuckles that grounded him.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." Edward murmured, over and over again until he wasn't sure he was even speaking real words any more.

Roy wasn't sure how long Edward had wept for, but the Rockbell girl stayed wrapped around him the whole time, not even moving when Edward cried himself silent. Remaining wrapped around him until it was clear that the alchemist had drifted off, letting his exhaustion claim him at last. Even then it took a long moment for the girl to ease herself away, swiping at her own tearful eyes. "Oh god, he's such a mess, isn't he?" She whispered as she shuffled away a little, looking down at where Roy still held Edward's limp hand. Her eyes darkened when she took in the cuts and the scraps on his automail.

"When my team found him, they said that it had looked like he'd been punching the ground." Roy explained softly, watching as Edward dozed. He looked so soft like this, so vulnerable. "It will take him a long time to recover from this, and there's no guarantee that he will ever fully recover, but Edward is strong. If anyone could make it through this stronger then it's him. I don't know fully what happened to him in that hell, Miss Rockbell, but Edward isn't shutting you and his brother out to be cruel. I saw him in there – after one of that bastards assaults – and it... He doesn't want you or Alphonse to be hurt knowing what he suffered."

"He can't keep hiding it from us though." Al's voice sounded out, and they both startled to look up at where he stood in the hallway, watching them sadly. "I hadn't realised that you were staying the night, General."

"If that's alright with both of you, I would like to. Just to make sure that Fullmetal is alright in the morning. Of course I fully understand if you would rather I..."

"Its okay." Al interrupted, crossing his arms. "My brother cares deeply about you, General. More than he would like to really admit, and I've noticed how you look at him. As long as Edward is happy, I don't care who that its with, but you better think about what you're doing because I will not let you hurt him again. So if you are looking for some fling then I'll happily see you out because Edward doesn't deserve that and I will not let anyone cause him pain, especially not now. Not while he's suffering so much already."

"I understand. Edward and I have a lot to discuss, there are rules against this of course, but I don't plan to cause him any pain. I promise you that I won't do anything that your brother does not want." Roy replied sincerely as he looked back at where Edward was propped up against the couch sleeping.

"His bedroom is the second door on the right. If you could get him to bed then I'd appreciate it. I'm not strong enough to carry him yet. The automail makes him heavier than he looks." Al said softly and Roy smiled at him, standing and ignoring as his joints popped at the movement. He was going to be sore in the morning, but he couldn't bring himself to care much. Carefully, Roy leaned down and scooped Edward up into his arms, groaning a little as he lifted the sleeping alchemist into his arms. Winry was on her feet, yawning into her hand as Al quietly tugged on her arm. "We'll just be in the room opposite if you need us." And with that the young couple disappeared.

Roy shifted his weight slightly and received a soft whine in response but Edward didn't wake up. Making sure not to jolt Edward too much, Roy moved to the room that Al had informed him of and after a brief struggle with the door, he entered Edward's room, silently easing the door closed again before moving to lower the blonde onto the bed. Roy took a moment to remove Edward's shoes, leaving them against the wall before he smiled sadly at the younger man. Placing a soft, chaste kiss on Edward's head before he moved towards the door again.

"Roy?" Edward whispered, sleep clinging to his voice. Mustang stopped, glancing over his shoulder to meet those sleep-dulled golden eyes as they watched him. Roy smiled at the blonde and was rewarded with a genuine one back. "Stay with me, Roy?" Edward reached his hand out towards Roy, in some sad attempt to grab him even though he was stood at the other side of the room from the bed, but surely he knew that it wasn't really required. Not just because of the fact that there was no way that Edward could have actually grabbed him, but more because how could Roy deny this beautiful man anything when he was so open to ask for it.

Moving back to the bed, the dark haired man sat on the edge of the mattress, kicking his own shoes off as Edward shimmied back to make room for him. Slipping his jacket off, Mustang then lay down in Edward's bed, trying to ignore the way that his heart was pounding in his chest. If word of this got out, he could lose his job. They both could. What the hell was he doing? Before his brain was able to fall into a total freak out, Edward was on him, kissing him roughly but slowly and all of a sudden any thoughts Roy had were vanquished, chased off by the feel of Edward's lips on his.

"Stop worrying so hard. I want to actually get back to sleep and if you stress much more I think you might actually implode." Edward murmured when he pulled away, smirking a little. Roy couldn't stop the chuckle that he let out in response. Edward kissed him again, and when Roy nipped at Ed's lip with his teeth the blonde whined softly and that was easily the most glorious noise that Roy had ever heard. They were both breathless when they pulled away, the lust in Edward's eyes obvious, but Roy just tugged him down into an embrace.

"You're exhausted. Get some sleep Edward. I'll be right here." Roy whispered, kissing the crown of Edward's head as the blonde settled into the hold. Roy waited until Edward's breathing evened out, and then waited a little longer to be sure that the blonde was completely asleep before he let himself drift off.

* * *

Fuhrer Hakuro glared over his desk at the dark haired man that stood to attention nervously in front of him, and he should be nervous. Hakuro had given him one job, one measly mission and the officer had came back to report to him that he had failed in his one simple task. It angered him, and he had to take a moment to try to compose himself before he rose to his feet and turned his back on the subordinate to glare out of his office window at the dark streets of Central City below. Folding his arms, he tapped his fingers irritably against his elbow. This was becoming bothersome. It had been such an easy and simple premise, so why was it being so difficult to execute. "You failed in your mission, captain." Hakuro ground out, still glaring out at the night.

"Yes sir. Sorry sir. There were unseen complications." The solider replied instantly.

"What complications would they be?" He spoke, turning back to the man at his desk with a scowl.

"It seems that General Mustang is much more protective than we had first thought, sir." The captain responded nervously. "He interrupted us twice. I had to leave after the second time or risk everything. Fullmetal did freak out when things got a bit more intense when we were out of the bar though, so I do believe that should we get the General out of the way then the boy will break easily."

Hakuro smirked at that. While he was still pissed off that the man had failed in his mission, he was pleased to find out that it wasn't a complete waste of time. He nodded, dropping back into his chair with a small chuckle. "That could be arranged easily. Tensions are always high with Drachma, I'll issue orders for Mustang and his team to oversee trade meetings up there and that will leave Elric without his guard dog. Once the boy is broken it will weaken that whole damn team and they will tear each other apart." Allowing himself a pleased grin, Hakuro turned his attention to the Captain that stood in front of him. "Ethan, wasn't it? It seems that I have a use for you after all. I want you to keep pursuing that brat, make sure that Mustang doesn't hear of it though, and when his team is on the first train out of here we will see how Edward reacts to seeing his old slaver friend. Dismissed Captain."

Ethan nodded, offering the Fuhrer a small smile and a salute before he turned on his heel and left the office behind him. He didn't really want to anger the Flame Alchemist, not from the tales he'd heard about the other man, but with him out of the picture he would be able to move in on Edward with nothing to stop him, and with complete freedom to do as he wished just as long as it pushed the unstable alchemist that bit further to the edge that he was already balancing on. He didn't know the full scale of Hakuro's plans, it wasn't his place to be asking questions of their country's leader, but he knew that the man hated Mustang, and he wasn't alone. There was a good few Generals who weren't best pleased with how Mustang was rising through the ranks, and he had become almost untouchable the moment that brat joined the military. Ethan was just pleased that the blonde was sexy as all hell, it would make his part of seducing and breaking him so much easier. He did enjoy the way people broke eventually, and to be allowed freedom to break a genius of Edward's level – there was nothing that excited him more than the thrill of that.


	22. Part 1: Chapter 22

**AN: So there is a teeny tiny hint of smut in this chapter. Just a warning.**

 **Chapter 22**

 _His fingers were tingling, begging him to get blood flowing to them again but he was too tired to try, and his arms were tied up above his head. Pain soared through the nerves in his shoulders, flesh aching from being held in an awkward angle and automail tugging sharply on muscle and bone. His head felt heavy, and his chin rested on his chest, his neck aching from holding the weight up. He was exhausted, and his eyes kept drifting shut as his body tried to force itself to get some rest regardless of how uncomfortable he was in his current position – but every time that he shut his eyes and felt reality slip from him, the crack of a whip and a scream that didn't sound like his and white hot agony across his naked back yanked him back into wakefulness._

 _Warm, sticky blood rolled down his back, dripping into the small pool at his feet. No wonder his head was swimming. How much blood had he lost? It can't have been too much, but then people tended to forget that he couldn't lose as much blood as other people, he had a lower volume to start with being down two flesh limbs. His head dropped again, eyelids heavy as he blinked back wetness. When had he started to cry? He couldn't remember. A hand clapped him heavily on the shoulder and he hissed through his teeth at the sting._

 _A hand was wrapped into his hair at the base of his skull and his head was roughly thrown back as the hand pulled sharply. "Edward... My dear, my love, you don't get to rest yet. I have so much planned for us so I need you to stay awake." Hal's voice was thick like treacle and when he moved to forcefully kiss Edward he tasted like whisky. He always tasted liked whisky. Edward whined pathetically, trying to turn his head away but even then he didn't have the energy to fight Hal away. A rough thumb scraped across his damp cheek as lips smiled against him. "Oh Edward..." The blonde squeezed his eyes shut. He just wanted to rest!_

 _"Edward... Big brother Ed!"_

 _Edward's eyes shot open as he spun on his heel, the room around him shifting, he was no longer chained and whipped, he was standing in the hallway of Hal's house, the chimera of Nina Tucker lying bleeding on the floor, a glint of metal sticking out of her neck, just like it had with Simon. Edward froze where he stood, staring in shock as the creature writhed and called out to him, a wet gargle in its throat as the blood pooled out._

 _"Edward!"_

Gasping, Edward opened his eyes, sitting upright in bed – his bed. He was trembling and his hair was sticking to his sweat soaked skin. With a soft whimper Edward tugged his flesh knee up, circling his automail arm around it as he dropped his head down onto it as he let out a choked sob. It was bright outside, but there was no noises coming from the house so it must still be early. Al and Winry must still be asleep. Memories from the night before hit him all at once, Al's hurt anger, Winry holding him as he sobbed about his rape in small whispers, Roy holding him as he drifted off to sleep. Another whine escaped him and he tried to curl in on himself more, trying to force himself to stop shaking.

A weight to his side shifted slowly, and Edward chose to ignore it, hoping that it was just Mustang shifting in his sleep. He couldn't fight the flinch that jerked his shoulders away when a hand brushed against his back, memories of the sharp pain of a whip tearing flesh was the only thing that blinked through his mind for a moment and he choked on another sob. He didn't have time to wallow in his own misery though, because then Mustang was shifting more, and all of a sudden Edward felt strong arms around him pulling him down to curl against Roy's side. The older man bundled him up in blankets and gently combed his fingers through his hair all the time that his spare hand was rubbing soothing circles in the arch of his back.

"Its okay." Roy whispered, holding Ed close and firm, as if he would shatter if Roy let him go. "It was just a dream. You're safe, Edward. You're safe now." His words were steady and soft and Edward couldn't stop the tears that spilled from his eyes as he clung to Mustang like he was a lifeboat in a stormy sea. Mustang didn't ask Edward to talk about it, he didn't push him for answers or information, he just petted him, murmuring reassurances as he ghosted kisses on the crown of his head. Leaving a tear damp patch on Roy's shoulder, Edward curled into him tighter as he found his voice.

"It was my fault."

Roy tensed beneath Edward, and he panicked, instantly feeling sick but after a second Roy just hugged him tighter and tilted his head so that their eyes could meet. "No." He said simply, caressing his thumb lightly over Ed's cheekbone. "Nothing that happened was your fault."

"You don't even know what I'm talking about."

"I don't need to know." Roy replied with a shrug. "I don't need to know what you think you're to blame for. I don't care if you think that something that monster did you was your fault, or if you think Ethan being a dick last night was your fault. Its not. None of that is your fault."

"But Simon..." Ed choked, but Roy wouldn't let him look away.

"His death is on Hal. That child's suffering is not your blame to shoulder, Edward. I will not allow you to accept that as being your fault. You didn't kill him, there was nothing you could have done."

Edward took in a deep breath and then moved closer, kissing Roy clumsily. The moment their lips met, heat rolled out inside of Edward's stomach and he wanted to throw his all into the kiss, into Roy. He needed to feel something other than the heavy blackness that threatened to suffocate him. Kissing Roy was a ray of sunlight in the midst of total darkness and he would hold onto that for as long as the other man would let him. Edward let his desperation out into the kiss, his teeth scraping Roy's lip as he nibbled on it, being rewarded with a soft groan.

Roy opened his mouth to say something, to no doubt argue this, so Edward crushed their mouths together again, his tongue pushing past Roy's lips to taste him. He shifted his body, leaning over him and swinging one leg over Roy's body to straddle him. The noise that he made when Edward pressed their bodies together was the most blissful sound he had ever heard. "Edward..." Roy's voice was husky, and it did wonderful things to Ed's blood and he had no choice but to grind down against Roy. The press of both their half hard dicks against each other through layers of clothes was enough that Edward whined with his need. Roy's hands raised to gently push him away a little, but a desperate part of Edward refused to let him. Grabbing both the man's wrists in his automail hand, Edward pinned them into the mattress above Roy's head as he leaned down to kiss the older man again.

Roy didn't fight him, and kissed him back with just as much hot desire, but after a moment he pulled away a little, not fighting Edward as the blonde moved his mouth to the column of Roy's throat. He didn't fight to free his hands and instead leaned his head back to let Edward nip at the pale skin of his neck with his teeth. "Edward, we shouldn't. We have things we need to discuss."

Edward ignored the words and instead focused on the tone, Roy wanted him, everything except his words made that painfully clear to Ed, so why was he trying to stop this? Edward didn't want to talk about anything, he didn't want to sit down and analyse whatever this was between them, he wanted to kiss Roy until the man stopped talking, he wanted to spend all day in bed with this dark haired man and learn every dip of that body. Edward kissed down Roy's neck, his flesh hand wandering down to grip the other man's hip tightly and he pushed his own hips down to meet them. The small gasp that Roy made was enough that Edward couldn't stop the moan that he let slip out as he moved his hand to undo the buttons of Roy's trousers, unzipping them and slowly dipping beneath that fabric to press against the hot hardness in Roy's boxers.

"Ed..." Roy breathed, his name sounding like a prayer on those lips and Edward moved to kiss him roughly again, biting his lip and rubbing his hand over Roy's dick. He lightly dragged a hint of nails along Roy's length, his touch feather light through the material covering his skin. When the older man jerked his hips forward, Edward couldn't stop the smirk he flashed him before he moved down Roy's body, trailing kisses as he did and tugging on the waistband of Roy's boxers, pulling them down and fully exposing him. "Edward, stop. We need..." Cutting him off – and being rewarded with a gasp and a tug on his automail arm – Edward dragged his touch along the full length of Roy's shaft.

"Still want to talk?" Edward purred, sucking on the tip of Roy's dick, his tongue flicking out to taste the drop of precum that glistened there. Roy threw his head back, biting down on his lip as he tried to force himself to remain quiet. Edward kept the General's hands pinned by his automail one as he fully took Roy into his mouth, giving the man no warning as he kept going until Roy's cock was pressed against the back of his throat. Edward's flesh hand slipped up from Roy's hip, trailing its way up to press against Roy's mouth, silencing any noise that the older man tried to make. He wanted to do this for Roy, he needed to have the control here, and while he wanted to make his commanding officer scream his name, he also wanted to drive the man wild without allowing him to make a noise. He did have his baby brother and childhood friend asleep across the hallway after all.

Roy's breath was warm against Ed's palm and he threaded his automail fingers between Roy's, keeping both hands still pressed into the mattress above dark hair as he swallowed Roy down, settling into a pace that he knew would be irresistible. The fear and panic from his dream lingered on the sidelines of his mood, but he didn't feel uncomfortable doing this. It perhaps had something to do with being in control and not being held down. If being pinned down was bothering Roy at all then the older man was hiding it really well as Edward continued to work on driving him mad.

He let go of Roy's wrists in order to position himself more comfortably and instantly felt fingers in his hair, nails scratching pleasantly along his scalp. He hummed happily at the sensation, the vibration of which drew a low growl of need from the man beneath him, who jerked his hips up. Ed would have smirked at that if he wasn't already preoccupied. Ed kept his hand over Roy's mouth the entire time, muffling his moans and gasps as he drew the older man closer and closer to the edge, before letting him blissfully tumble over it. His entire body trembled as he came, his hands fisted in the sheets as his dick pulsed with each wave of pleasure, which Edward happily swallowed down – only pulling back when he was sure Roy was done.

The blonde smirked up at his commanding officer who was watching him from heavily lidded eyes that were so filled with his want that Edward felt the heat of it pool in his stomach. Roy grabbed his arms gently, tugging him up the bed and kissing him roughly. Edward happily allowed the kiss, meeting Roy's tongue with his own and letting Roy roll them over so that he was pinned beneath him. The heat from his body soaked into Edward's bones and he slipped his hands up underneath Roy's shirt, letting out a low growl when the man shivered at the chill of the automail. Roy moved to kiss Edward's neck and the blonde whined softly at the soft wetness of Roy's tongue as it licked a particularly sensitive bit by his near.

"Damn Edward, you definitely know how to make a morning more bearable." Roy murmured, his breath tickling Ed's hair at the base of his skull. His hands were rough against him, and Edward was surprised to find that he didn't seem to mind when Roy gripped him a little too tightly. If he was honest, he actually kind of loved it. Knowing that he'd reduced the cool, calm and collected Mustang to this, desperate for his touch and kiss, was more than enough to warm even the darkest corners of his mind.

A knock on the door pulled them apart, and Edward gently shoved Roy away a little so that he was less distracting. "Brother?" Al's voice called out through the wood. A part of Ed froze, remembering Al's reaction last night, but he shook it off quickly and slipped out from under Roy, all but charging to the door and opening it a crack, peaking out to meet his brother's sleepy look. He made sure to keep the door closed enough to hide the view of the room. The last thing he needed to do was mentally scar his baby brother with a view of a flushed and dishevelled Roy Mustang.

"Al? Is everything okay?" Ed asked, offering his brother a smile as the younger Elric yawned into his coffee mug. He was so damn cute, his blue pyjama bottoms had little cartoon cat heads all over them and his slippers were white with cat ears. The black top he wore was one of Ed's and it made him just want to tuck his little brother under his arm and cuddle him.

"I was going to ask you the same thing." Al said, offering him a sad smile and glancing at the door behind his head. "Its almost noon, brother. You don't sleep this late normally."

"Yeah, no we're fine Al. We actually just woke up." Ed said, a little too fast judging by the raised eyebrow of his brother. He offered Al a smile and ran a hand through his hair, trying to force down the memory of Roy's fingers in it and the blissful way he tucked on it as he came. He could feel the heat rising to his cheeks and – praying that it wasn't visible – ignored the shuffling sound coming from his bed as Roy moved.

"We?" Al asked, raising an eyebrow at his older brother and scowling as Edward blushed even harder.

Edward shrugged with one shoulder, glancing away from his brother and tried to force his face to calm the hell down. This was normal. This was fine. Wasn't it? He hadn't done anything wrong. Roy was going to go home, he had been leaving when Ed had woken up and basically begged him to stay. Sure what he'd done this morning was maybe wrong, especially depending on who you asked and if the military found then they were both screwed. Damn, should he have just let Roy leave last night? It would cause less problems for him.

It was only when Al was pushing past Edward and into the room that he realised that he hadn't replied to his baby brother about his bed partner, and it was only as Alphonse was shoving his way into the room that Edward's genius mind remembered how he had left Roy – shirt creased and dick out with his trousers and boxers shoved down over his perfect ass. "Al! Hold on!" Edward snapped, trying to pull his brother back out of the room, but was far too late in responding.

Thankfully Roy was looking as respectable as ever as he ran a hand through his hair where he stood by the window, the sunlight making his pale skin glow. Edward offered him a small grateful smile and then turned to his brother, placing a hand on his arm which Al glanced at before allowing. "I asked him to stay, Al. It was late last night and..."

"General." Al interrupted Edward, ignoring his older brother's huff. "If you ever hurt my brother again, I don't think I need to warn you about what will happen."

"I'm still very aware of how protective you are, Alphonse." Roy replied with a small smile, his fingers going up to his still healing bruised eye. "You don't need to worry though, I have no intention of hurting your brother, though there is a lot for Edward and I to discuss regarding where we go from this point." Roy said, shooting Edward a very pointed look that made him blush harder. Yes, there was a lot that they had to talk about.

Alphonse stood and stared at Roy for so long that Edward wondered if his brother was going to hit Roy just on principle alone but eventually he just nodded and then turned to leave the room as suddenly as he'd stormed in. "Good. Well its a good job Winry has made extra pancakes. There is enough for you both. Brother, there is coffee already brewed so you can become civil a bit faster."

"Hey, I'm perfectly fucking civil!" Ed called out after Al, smiling to himself when he heard his brother's laugh even as the door closed behind him. Edward watched Roy for a moment, awkward. What were you meant to do when you just gave your CO a blowjob in bed and then had him threatened by your younger brother? Edward opened his mouth to speak, realised that he didn't know what to say and shut it again shortly after with a frown. Roy seemed to be able to read his thoughts because he just smiled and held out his hand in a silent invitation.

Edward sighed to himself, letting go of the tension he hadn't been aware he had been clinging to and took Roy's hand, letting the older man pull him close and accepted the kiss that he was given when Roy had him in his arms. "There's a lot to discuss, and until then we can't let anyone outside of this house know anything about this, alright?" Edward nodded. He didn't like it, but he knew why it needed. "But just so you know Edward. What I said last night, I mean it. I love you. I have loved you for too long now and I had never considered I would be lucky enough to ever be something of interest to you. I want this. I want you, but we need to be careful."

"Yeah yeah. Stop being such a sap, Mustang. There's pancakes out there made by an angel and some super strong coffee that has my name all over it." Edward muttered, feeling the heat in his cheeks again. Edward leaned up and kissed Roy again before moving away and tugging on his arm. "Come on. Winry's cooking is amazing. Just don't tell her I said that cause she's also evil. I'd never hear the end of it."

Roy laughed with Edward, taking his flustered retreat as proof of his own feelings. He didn't need Edward to say that he loved him, or to even feel it, he was just happy that the brilliant young man seemed to want to be close to Roy. He followed Edward out into the hallway, and then towards the kitchen where his family sat with breakfast and laughter; the tension and hurt from the night before forgotten about.

* * *

The order was dropped onto his desk first thing on Monday morning. Stamped as urgent, Roy sighed as he pulled the report out of the brown envelope, quickly reading over his orders with a frown. He and his entire team were getting transferred to the north to handle trade meetings and tensions with Drachma? Why would they need him and his team to go up there? General Armstrong was in charge of the north and had been for years now, even more so since the promised day. Roy read through the orders again before calling for Hawkeye to come through to the inner office.

"Yes sir?" Her smooth voice asked only a moment later. He looked up from the report in front of him and met her questioning look. Without a word, he handed the orders to her and waited for her to read through them before rising from his seat. He didn't need to watch her expression to know that she would find the request odd as well. General Armstrong was more than capable, and would no doubt be incredibly aggravated about his entire team getting sent to step on her toes. It was no secret how she felt about Mustang. "What's this about, sir?"

"I'm not sure, Captain." Roy said, turning to look out of his window at the parade grounds of Central Command. He didn't know what was going on, and he didn't trust Hakuro as far as he could throw him, but he couldn't ignore an order from the leader of the country. He would just have to do as told and hope nothing bad happened because of it. There was one issue that wouldn't let him relax though. His entire team was being moved. All of them, except for Edward. It was well known that Ed was currently on leave after everything that happened, but Roy wasn't comfortable about leaving without his youngest subordinate. "I want eyes on Edward at all times. There's something not right about this and he is struggling to adapt as it is. I don't want him being without support while we're away being maimed by General Armstrong in the north."

"Rebecca is coming to Central for a few weeks on leave, sir. I could ask her to keep an eye out for them." Riza offered, not needing him to explain his reasoning. After everything that had happened recently with Edward, it was obvious that he needed to be watched, not only to stop any further attempt to take him away again, but he was on the edge of a completely destructive path.

"Call her and make arrangements. I'll have Madame Christmas keep tabs on him also. Tell the Lieutenant to stay out of sight. I have no doubt that if Edward knows that he's being watched he'll act out. I'll inform Alphonse also, to make him aware that his brother may be at risk." Roy said, turning back to his desk and meeting Riza's eyes. She nodded her understanding, and her eyes softened just enough that Roy knew she understood his desperation for Edward to be safe. With a sigh, Roy dropped into his chair again, reaching for the phone. "Alright. Tell the team. We leave tomorrow at dawn. Dismissed Captain."

"Sir!"

Roy waited for Riza to leave before calling his foster mother and asking her and her girls to keep an eye on Edward. He didn't explain why, and kept his voice casual and relaxed as he spoke. While he spoke in code around the coded questions of his mother, Roy pulled out a blank piece of paper and began to write a note, explaining his concerns and the situation. He had agreed to take Edward out to dinner that evening and he knew that he wouldn't be able to get Alphonse alone without questioning from the older brother. This way he didn't have to speak in riddles and hope that the younger alchemist understood even to be on his guard. He'd give the note to Al as he took Edward out.

There wasn't much Roy could do, but if he warned everyone about any possible attack on Edward then surely everything would be okay. Edward would be safe if everyone was on edge, right? Roy didn't know if he could cope with that again. He needed Edward to be okay. He needed Edward safe. Sighing to himself as his mother spoke to him about the girls and how he should visit more, Roy turned to look back out of the window. Perhaps he was being ridiculous. This was an order from the Fuhrer after all, and Edward had nothing to do with Hakuro, but Roy didn't want to leave anything to chance. The military had stabbed him in the back enough that he knew better than to trust it with the safety of his loved ones.


	23. Part 2: Chapter 1

**AN:** If you are following me on AO3 as well, then this is the start of Broken Things (my sequel to Servitude). But for this site its probably easier to just keep it all here because as far as I'm aware I can't create a series on here? Regardless, here is the next chapter of this little story and this second part is much better planned out in my head. I should hopefully be uploading a bit more regularly now. My depression isn't quite as crippling and I'm mostly settled in my new home and new job so things are finally starting to look like they will get a bit easier.

Anyway, enough from me. I hope you enjoy! Please let me know. Also, there is now doubt typos everywhere cause its not beta'd.

* * *

"What the hell are you doing in my fort, Mustang?" The voice was filled with a harshness that caused the General and his team to tense, the anger in it clear. The General, for his part, plastered his most charming smile on his face and turned to the woman storming down the hallway towards him, her Ishvalan assistant trailing behind her without a word but just as hard as his commander.

"General Armstrong! The pleasure, as always, is mine." Roy started to speak, grinning at the Ice Queen of Briggs as she stopped in front of him with a scowl.

"Cut the crap. Why are you here?"

"The Fuhrer has requested that my men and I oversee trade discussions with Drachma." Roy said simply, keeping his appearance as professional as possible, but he knew that the woman in front of him was intelligent. She would be able to read between the lines and see that something wasn't right. He didn't mind that of course, but he didn't know this command centre and he didn't know how secure it was for him to fully discuss his concerns with the General in front of him. The woman scowled and glared behind Roy at his team who all stood to attention, saluting on cue. Olivier frowned further but nodded her acceptance of the posturing, allowing his team to relax again.

"Why would he want that?" She snapped, her attention on Roy again. The man just grinned at her, letting his cocky air lead this particular charge.

"Well I am known to be rather charming. Perhaps he wishes for me to work my magic with the diplomats."

Olivier snorted at that, very clearly disgusted at the very idea. "I shall tell the men to prepare for a war within the week then." She muttered, turning to Miles behind her. "Major. See to it that Mustang and his team have accommodations set up. While I don't want them here they may as well make themselves useful instead of just cluttering up my hallways." The Major nodded to her, saluting before he headed back the way that they came.

"My Captain will go with the Major and help where she can." Roy said, nodding to Riza who returned the gesture before following Miles without a word. It wasn't that he didn't trust Miles, it was more as a show of good nature.

"I see Major Elric is not with you." It wasn't a question, not really, but Roy flinched at it all the same. He didn't want to talk about Edward. He wasn't thrilled by needing to leave his lover at home for this mission, but he was still on medical leave and this was a direct order from the Fuhrer. He could hardly ignore it just because his relationship with Fullmetal had changed. Roy hoped that the other General didn't see his flinch, but he wasn't naïve enough to believe that. When she frowned at him, raising one perfect eyebrow, Roy just forced himself to give her a professional smile.

"No, he's not. Fullmetal is currently on medical leave so will not be joining us for this mission." Roy said, meeting the all too intelligent gaze of the woman next to him as she gestured for him to follow her.

"That's unfortunate. He's about the only one of your lot that isn't completely useless."

Roy didn't reply, instead following the General to her office. Along the way she had sent his men away with some of her own to start working around the fort so by the time they reached her office it was just the two of them. She shut the door behind him and he had no other warning to the coming onslaught than that. He hadn't even sat down before she spoke.

"Why are you really here, Mustang?"

"As I said, the Fu..."

"No bullshit! My office is one of the most secure places in this damn country, Mustang. Why are you here? You and your entire pathetic team don't need to be here. So which one of us is Hakuro punishing and how soon until I can get rid of you?"

Roy sighed, leaning back in his chair as the other General dropped into a seat across from him. Roy glanced at the door, frowning as his thoughts wandered back to Edward. He wasn't sure that Hakuro was punishing either of them in fact. He was pretty sure that this was about Fullmetal and that left an awful taste in his mouth. After a moment he turned to look back at the Armstrong heir, her expression closed off and cold, but expectant.

"Truthfully, General Armstrong, I don't believe that this has anything to do with either of us. My gut tells me that Hakuro just wanted me and my men out of the way. I can't be sure, but I think this may have less to do with either of us and everything to do with Fullmetal."

Olivier stared at Roy in silence for a moment, clearly waiting for him to say more, so he continued. If anything, just to avoid her anger. "Major Elric was ambushed on a mission a couple of months ago, his younger brother was shot and ended up in a coma, Fullmetal vanished. He was kidnapped and sold by a human trafficking ring. We only found him a few weeks ago. I saw to it that he was put on medical leave to recover. You know what a stubborn brat he can be." Roy said, almost too fondly. He was worried about Edward, and he missed him, damnit. When did he turn into some lovesick girl? He needed to get a grip. He had to get used to being away from Edward, while they were seeing each other, nobody could know about it until Edward was out of the military, or at least out of Mustang's command. They hadn't had time to discuss anything other than that, and they had both agreed to not let on that they were together.

"I can't be sure why Hakuro would want Fullmetal alone, but while trying to deal with his captors and the whole ordeal I have come across nothing but resistance." Roy finished with a scowl of his own that watched the one Olivier wore.

"Are you trying to tell me that you and your men have come across yet another conspiracy within the higher ranking officers of this military, Mustang?" Olivier all but growled the question at him, and lesser men would have cowered away from the anger in her voice, but Roy wasn't lesser men, and he knew that somewhere – granted deep down and buried beneath a healthy dose of disdain – he knew that the woman held some respect for him. Besides, he was used to dealing with the tempers of others, Edward had been in his command for years now and he had always been a volatile teen.

Roy sighed, running a hand through his hair as he glanced out of the window to the snow covered mountains beyond. "I really hope not. This country won't be able to withstand me leading another coup." It was a joke. Mostly. Roy really didn't know how much more the country could cope with, they needed to trust their military, but how could they if that same military turned on itself every few years.

"When is Elric due to come back to active duty?"

"There hasn't been a date set yet, physical injuries aside, I will not allow him back until he is more mentally stable. He is suffering from PTSD just now and there is too much that is triggering him. I will not risk his safety." Mustang told her, frowning as she stood and moved to the window, her back to him, but her frown visible in the reflection of the window.

"So I'm stuck with you until Hakuro does whatever it is he is planning with Edward?" She snapped, then sighed, and Mustang couldn't stop the flinch he gave at her words. Hadn't Edward been through enough? All Roy wanted to do was keep the man safe, but for whatever reason Hakuro wasn't going to let that happen. He wished he could have brought Edward with them. "You care about him."

Olivier words pulled Roy from this wandering thoughts and he frowned at her back in confusion, arching an eyebrow as she turned to face him again. "Of course I do. I thought by now, General, that you would know that I care about each of my men."

"Does your mind wander so easily at the thought of all your men, Mustang?" Olivier quipped, laughing cruelly, scoffing at his frown. "Don't play dump. Although it does suit you, fool that you are. Mustang I don't care what you do with your men, but if you want to keep your infatuation with this boy secret I would strongly suggest working on your poker face."

"He's not a boy. He's 20." Roy defended, not sure why he needed to clarify that particular fact. He then sighed. "Regardless of what I may or may not feel about Edward, he is still in my command and I will not endanger him for the sake of just having on active duty."

"So you'll leave him behind?"

"With all due respect, General, but if you think Alphonse would let anything happen to his brother then you don't know the first thing about those two. I also could hardly bring him with me if he's not on active duty, he has no need to be here in the north." Roy snapped. He couldn't help but feel like he was judging him, and it pissed him off. Should he have brought Edward with them? How could he have? With so little notice how the hell was he meant to find some excuse for Edward to come up here with them?

"None of you have any need to be in the north. This is my domain, Mustang, and I don't like the military sticking its nose in here!" General Armstrong snapped at him, slamming her hand down on the desk with a snarl. A sharp knock at the door stopped any argument before it could escalate. A moment later, Miles entered, Riza a step behind him.

"Sirs," Miles greeted them both with a salute, but didn't turn his attention away from his commander, "I have seen to it that the team from Central have accommodations and tasks set up. I have also confirmed with Central Command that this is a direct order from the Fuhrer."

Olivier just nodded her reluctant acceptance, turning her glare to Roy who just smiled at the Ice Queen. He didn't like it any more than she did, but while she was defensive and resentful of having Central forces in her command, Roy didn't want him and his team to be here for an entirely different reason. He wanted to be close to Ed, an uncomfortable feeling settling in his stomach; he couldn't help but feel like something bad was about to go down, and it put him on edge to be so unprepared for it.

"Sir?" Riza got his attention then, and he turned to her. "I also checked in with Madame Christmas, who informed me that everything is well for the moment." His Captain offered him a small smile, no doubt seeing right through him to his innermost thoughts. It was amazing how she could do that. He nodded his understanding, able to breathe a little easier knowing that. Yes, he wasn't there to defend Edward, but Fullmetal wasn't alone. He had his aunt and her girls watching him, as well as Riza's friend Rebecca. Not only that, but Edward wasn't defenceless. He was strong and fierce on his own, but with Al and Winry living with him and just as strongly protective of him as he was of them, Roy knew he shouldn't worry too much. Edward would be fine, right? Edward had to be fine.

"Thank you, Captain."

Riza nodded, glancing quickly at the other two in the room, but continued on regardless. "I have also been told that there is a meeting tomorrow that we've to attend with some representatives from Drachma. There is an outpost not far from here that we've been instructed to meet at."

Roy nodded, although he wasn't happy about it. He didn't want to go out and have some pointless meeting with their enemies in the freezing landscape. He didn't like being cold, and while he would have Hawkeye by his side, he knew that he could hardly take his whole team with him and that made him feel uneasy. He would need to leave the team here at Fort Briggs as a show of good faith in this meeting, but that didn't mean that he had to feel that same good faith. Tensions had always been high when it came to Drachma, and while they had eased over recent years, things were far from golden with the neighbouring country.

"Inform Falman, he will accompany us to this meeting. Havoc, Fuery and Breda will remain here, I'm sure the General will have some work they can help with to earn their keep." Roy said, turning his most charming smile to the Ice Queen at the opposite side of the desk. The woman was watching their interaction closely with her arms crossed, only raising a delicate eyebrow at Roy's charm; totally unimpressed.

"Major Miles will find some job for them to help with." She said after a moment, Miles standing silently at her side as if he expected that the job would fall to him. "I don't like this Mustang. There is tension with Drachma as it is, and I don't want you going in there and messing all of this up. This country is still recovering from one war with itself, we cannot start one with Drachma."

"I understand, General." Roy said slowly, running a hand through his hair. "I don't like it any more than you do, but I've told you what I know and until I know more then I just need to follow my orders."

"Like the good dog that you are." Olivier muttered loudly, scoffing at him and then turning her back to them. "Major Miles, show Mustang and his Captain to where they will be sleeping. I tire of looking at his smug face."

Roy let himself laugh at that as he stood from where he was sat. He let Miles lead him and Hawkeye out of Armstrong's office without a goodbye. He doubted Olivier would appreciate it regardless. As he followed Miles – Riza quiet at his side – his thoughts went back to his blonde lover. He wanted to know that Edward was okay, he hadn't spoken to him for a few days now while they were making their way north and with everything that was going on it had him on edge. He needed to hear Edward's voice, to touch the younger man and see for himself that he was unharmed.

As they walked to the dormitories of Fort Briggs none of them spoke, but he could feel Hawkeye watching his every move, no doubt reading his thoughts. That woman was far too preceptive for her own good at times. He glanced at her, and met her eyes with a small smile. He didn't want her to worry, but he knew that she would. He hadn't kept her around just because she was good at her job. Since losing Maes, Riza was his closest friend – they had known each other for years after all – and she had promised to follow him into hell if he asked her. After everything with Father and the Homunculi he felt like she had perhaps already fulfilled that particular promise. She had almost died, but years later she remained just as steadfast as the day she promised him that.

It was only natural that she would worry about him, and that she'd be able to easily know what was going through his mind. Maes had been the same, he had known exactly what Roy was thinking and now he couldn't help but wonder how his friend would have reacted to his relationship with Edward. Maes had taken those boys under his wing, treating them like sons. Would he disapprove of Roy's feelings? Did Roy disapprove of his feelings? He knew that he couldn't help them, and he had nothing against same sex relationships, but was this going against everything he was meant to be?

Lost in his thoughts, Roy didn't notice that they had stopped until he almost walked into the Major, who was holding keys out to him and Hawkeye. Roy took them with a nod of thanks, listening as Miles explained that he had made sure to give them rooms side by side – knowing that it was important for them to be close. The rest of the team were down the hall a little, but were all still close enough that there shouldn't be any issues. They waited for Miles to leave before Hawkeye turned her attention to Roy and frowned at him.

"Sir, there is nothing you can do from here. We need to focus on the meeting tomorrow. I have a bad feeling about it." Riza told him, watching as he turned to his room and began unlocking the door.

"You have a bad feeling about any meeting I have, Captain. It's what I pay you for." Roy said with a small laugh, leading them into his room. He trusted that they would have gotten rooms free of any bugs. If anything, only Olivier would have bugged the room and Roy didn't have anything to hide from her, not now that she knew the risks to Ed.

"Sir." Riza said in that tone that Roy hated. The tone that told him that she was being serious, and that she did not think that he was funny in the slightest. Roy sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Okay, Captain. We'll be careful, but I can hardly take the whole team with us. I don't believe that we are the ones at risk." Roy said, sitting down on the worn but comfortable couch, gesturing for Riza to join him. "This is all to isolate Edward, but I'm not sure for what. I can't think of a reason that Hakuro would want Ed for."

"But there are plenty reasons to go after you, sir. Hakuro has always been competing with you. He doesn't feel safe while you are still aiming for his job, especially after what happened with Bradley." Riza explained, sitting next to him. "I know that you are worried about Edward, we all are Sir, but there is nothing we can do from here. You have people watching him, he's got Alphonse and he's hardly defenceless. He's still the same person who joined our team at 12. He's still more than capable of defending himself and no doubt bringing a building down to do it."

Roy laughed at that, a small fond smile on his face as he shook his head. She was right of course. He was miles away from Edward now, there was nothing he could do to help protect him any more than the precautions he had already set up before he had left with the team; but perhaps he should have warned Edward about his fears? He hadn't told Ed that he thought he would be in danger without the team close by – mostly because he fully expected Edward would go chasing the danger – and now he couldn't help but worry that he had made a mistake. What if something happened and could have been avoided if only Edward had been warned? Roy sighed, running a hand over his face, pushing the thoughts away. He needed to go through their plans for the meeting tomorrow. Riza was right. Edward could look after himself.


	24. Part 2: Chapter 2

It had been a week since he had seen Roy or even heard from him. He should have reached Briggs a few days ago, but Edward hadn't heard from him and he was trying to not miss him too much but it was hard. He wasn't sure where they stood really, but he knew that Roy wanted to be with him. Edward had decided to get transferred to someone else's command because of that alone. He would see about moving to intelligence, he could help investigations easily enough and that would let him be with Roy without the need to sneak around. He'd filled in the paperwork for it and it was now just sitting on the General's desk until he came back from his mission in the north.

"Edward!"

He paused, looking back down the corridor when his name was called. He hadn't been back inside Central since Roy had chased him off, forcing him onto medical leave, so he didn't doubt that there would be people that would wonder where he'd been. When he saw that it was Ethan that had called him, Edward could feel his heart start to pound in his chest, memories of his forcefulness rushing back to suffocate him. He didn't want to have to speak to Ethan, he wanted to just walk away now, but he couldn't seem to make his legs get that message and so instead he just stood there.

"Edward, can we talk?" Ethan asked when he was closer, frowning a little. "I was completely out of line last week and I am so sorry. I don't know why I acted like that and there is nothing I can say that will make it better. I had no right."

Edward watched the other man carefully, but he seemed to be telling the truth. His handsome face was twisted in guilt and he just looked so damn sad. He didn't want to believe Ethan but maybe he wasn't as bad as he had been at the bar? Edward just sighed and shook his head.

"Can I take you to dinner tonight? I promise I'll be on my best behaviour." Ethan was asking and Edward startled, looking away with a blush. They had agreed to go for dinner last week, but that was before he had kicked off when Ed had told him to stop, before the fear almost crippled him. It was before Roy, and Edward didn't want to risk what he could have with Mustang for something as simple as dinner with a captain that was – admittedly – attractive but who wasn't good at understanding when to stop.

"Ethan, look." Ed started, letting out his breath and trying to slow his racing heartbeat. "I appreciate the offer but I'm not sure what to make of you now. I'm also kind of seeing someone but its all really new. I don't want to ruin what I could have with him."

"Its just dinner, Edward. It doesn't need to be a date. Just let me try to make up for my actions."

Sighing and running a hand through his hair, Edward just nodded. If it would get him to go away then he would agree. He needed to talk to Al about all of this, but as long as it wasn't a date then Mustang would understand surely? Ethan did seem nice enough, but he did have a hell of a lot to make up for; besides, who was Ed to turn down an offer of food. "Fine. Dinner tonight. Not a date." Ed told him, smiling at the way Ethan's face changed from worried and distressed to the handsome one he had been kissing just a week ago. His smile was a thing of legends and hell if Edward wasn't so deep with his feelings for Mustang he would do almost anything to keep seeing a smile like that.

Edward gave Ethan his address, agreeing on a time for the captain to come and pick Ed up at and then they parted ways, but he couldn't quite shake the guilt that lingered in his chest. He reminded himself that it didn't mean anything, that it was just dinner with someone that could be a friend, hell he had to eat, didn't he? Why couldn't he do that with someone who was trying to make up for his past mistakes? Before he knew it, Edward was standing outside his apartment door, having been so lost in his troubled thoughts that he couldn't remember the walk home. Sighing for the hundredth time that day, Ed let himself into his home, smiling when he instantly caught the scent of coffee.

"Al? Winry?" Edward called, moving into the kitchen where he spotted the girl tinkering with something. "Hey, is Al in?" The blonde shook her head, her eyes never leaving her hands as Edward moved to pour himself coffee. On the way past her, he swiped her empty mug and topped her up with fresh coffee. Milk and sugar went into hers – the milk begrudgingly, nasty shit that it was – while Edward took his black. He moved back to the table and dropped to sit across from her, sliding the mug towards her as he took a sip of his own.

"He's out. Library I think." Winry mumbled, her focus never leaving her task, except to accept the coffee with a nod of thanks in Ed's general direction. She worked in silence, but grew more and more aware of Edward just watching her. Halfway down her mug she looked up at him finally, scowling at the frown that he wore. "Edward, what's wrong?"

"Hm? Oh, nothing." Edward shrugged, looking away. "Sorry I was lost in my own little world there."

"Uh huh." Winry didn't believe him, not for a second. "I thought we agreed that you were going to stop hiding stuff from us Ed?" She put the tools she'd been using down and crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow at him. "Tell me the truth, what's wrong? Is it Roy? I know that you still haven't heard from him. I'm sure he's fine Edward."

"Its not Mustang, although it does bother me that I haven't heard from him. If I did this he'd kick off about insubordination and shit. Bastard that he is."

"If its not about him, then what's bothering you? I can feel you staring at me."

Edward rubbed his hand over his face, scowling a little as he told Winry what had happened with his run in with Ethan. He'd told her and Al about how he'd acted last week – when he and Roy had sat down to talk to them about what was happening with them and why it needed to be kept quiet for the time being. Al had wanted to hunt Ethan down and no doubt bury him somewhere that he would never be found. Winry had had a similar reaction but he had managed to talk them both down from their murderous rampage.

"Damn right he has a lot to make up for!" Winry snapped when Ed was finished telling her what had happened. "Honestly Ed, I wouldn't give him the chance to make up for his actions, what he did was not okay! You don't just kick off at someone because they change their mind about something like that! He's a jackass and you should have hit him."

"Who should Brother have hit?" Al asked from the doorway, smiling at them both as he carried grocery bags. Edward was by his brother's side in a heartbeat, the bags looked heavy and Al was still recovering.

"Idiot. You should be resting. Give me them." Ed snapped, playfully nudging Al with his hip as he took the bags from him and began to put the shopping away as Winry retold Ed's story. He didn't need to turn around to tell that his brother wasn't impressed, but he didn't fly off the handle like Winry had. Granted, that was just how Al was, wasn't it? Very little managed to rile Alphonse up, even more so now that he was nineteen. He had matured a lot in the last four years since getting his body back, they all had really. Winry and Ed just hid it better, they still acted like immature brats.

"Brother, I'm not sure that you should go out with him." Al said after a moment, and Edward nodded. He totally agreed, but he couldn't just not go. He couldn't hide away at the first sign of trouble. He had to defend himself. "But I know you, I know you want to take control of all the bad things that happen and stop it from being so bad. Just promise me that if he steps a single toe out of line then you'll get outta there."

"And I'll brain the bastard with a wrench myself." Winry muttered angrily, turning her attention back to her project and the brothers laughed at her.

"I promise."

Al smiled at that, and Edward knew he'd do anything his brother asked. He couldn't resist the chance to see that smile, and when Al moved to hug him, Edward happily let him. "I love you, Brother." Al said as he pulled away and Edward ruffled his hair playfully in reply. He didn't need to tell Al that he loved him. Al knew that, and the perfect little brat would always use it to get his own way.

Ethan arrived right on time and he looked amazing. His long brown hair was tied up in a ponytail and he wore a black fitted shirt that was eager to show off his muscles. He looked good enough that Edward found that for a moment he just wanted to stand and admire him, even as he could feel the guilt eat away at the back of his mind; even as he could feel the ice from Al and Winry's glares behind him. If the death looks from Edward's family bothered Ethan, he didn't show it. Edward didn't invite him in; it wasn't a date, and he really didn't want to sit through Alphonse giving Ethan the third degree and not-so-subtle hints. The drive to the restaurant wasn't too bad, and while Edward felt a little jumpy and restless, Ethan seemed completely fine, spending the time talking to Edward about a mission he'd been on recently near Ishval.

The restaurant was nice, and not too pricey. Ethan had made it clear to Ed that he was going to buy the meal, as a way to attempt to make up for the way he behaved the week before; it made him feel a little uncomfortable because that was stepping too close to a date but he didn't argue it. It was free food after all. Ordering a beer, Edward then turned his attention to his not-date as Ethan ordered his drink, waiting for the waiter to leave before he spoke. "How often do you need to take people out to dinner to make up for things then?"

"Not often." Ethan said, having the decency to look ashamed. "I don't know what came over me that night Edward, but I know that I had no right to act that way. I can't tell you enough how sorry I am that I behaved so shamefully. I'm glad that General Mustang showed up when he did."

Edward frowned at that, narrowing his eyes at the man across from him. He opened his mouth to speak but stopped when the waiter returned with their drinks. Edward waited until they gave their food order and the waiter had once again disappeared before he scowled at Ethan. "Are you trying to tell me that you would have tried to force something if Mustang hadn't show up?" Edward was surprised by how calm his voice sounded, because he didn't feel so steady inside. Anxiety and nausea mixed to settle low his stomach, his heart beating a little too fast in his chest.

Ethan was shaking his head the moment that Edward had finished speaking, and again – to his credit – he did seem to be earnest in his surprise. He seemed horrified at the hidden accusation and that helped to settle the emotions storming in Edward's gut. "No!" He answered sharply, and a little too loudly. He quietened himself, a slight blush on his cheeks. "No, god no. Edward please don't ever think that I would force myself on anyone. I know that it happens within the ranks, but that doesn't make it okay. No, never that. I'm glad the general stepped in because I've heard of the damage you can do in a fight, and I have no doubt that I would have required medical attention if I'd pushed it any further.

Edward laughed. Ethan had a point. There was a high chance that he would have put him in the hospital if he'd tried to force anything, but Edward also knew how badly he reacted to things now, so he wasn't sure how well he would have handled that situation. Their food came shortly after that, and the conversation drifted from Ethan's apologies to more general topics. During desert, Ethan made the mistake of mentioning alchemy and how he'd come across an array that he was convinced was dangerous while on a drug raid with his squad. Edward jumped on it, asking him to describe the array and drawing it on a napkin. Once he'd drawn it out and studied it for a moment he just laughed and shook his head.

"No. This shit isn't dangerous." Edward said, leaning closer to Ethan to go over the design. "See this bit here? It looks threatening, but its completely harmless. The whole thing was just going to cause a bang and create a load of smoke and dust, but its more as a warning than anything. Its design looks dangerous at a glance so it was most likely being used to prevent novice or non-alchemists from getting in the way. This symbol here was what was going to create the bang, and it would have been really fucking loud, like an explosion but once all the smoke and dust settled again you'd have seen that everything was still completely fine. Oh and this bit here..."

Edward stopped, feeling eyes on him and when he looked up he noticed that Ethan was just watching him with a fond smile. He was also suddenly aware of how close they had gotten during his explanation and he felt the heat rush to his cheeks when he caught Ethan's gaze drop to his lips. Edward shuffled away a little, clearing his throat. "So yeah, the array is totally harmless. Should we get going?"

"You're something else, Elric." Ethan said, smiling at the blonde which only made Edward blush harder. He paid for the meal and then stood, moving to the door as Edward followed him. They didn't speak until they were in Ethan's car, and as they got closer to the apartment he shared with his brother, Edward couldn't hold his curiosity any longer.

"What did you mean back there? About me being something else?"

Ethan laughed as he pulled the car into Edward's street, smiling as he reached out to press his hand against Ed's knee. "You're gorgeous, and brilliantly intelligent. Just watching you explain that array was amazing, the fire in your eyes when you talk about alchemy is kind of hot, Elric."

Edward swallowed past the lump that had formed in his throat, staring at Ethan's hand on his leg and forcing down the taste of bile as his panic spiked. He could barely hear the words over the thoughts rushing through his troubled brain. "I..." He stopped, shaking his head and moving his leg away from Ethan's hand. "This isn't a date, remember? Besides, I just know my shit when it comes to alchemy."

"Of course, tonight wasn't a date." Ethan said softly, and instantly Edward didn't like where things were heading. Ethan didn't sound embarrassed or ashamed of over stepping the mark, if anything he sounded smug. Edward didn't look at him as the car slowed down to a stop outside of Edward's building. His had was on the door handle before he fully registered it, but Ethan's hand was back on his knee, slowly slipping up his thigh. "How about we make it a date next week?"

Edward snapped at that, spinning in his seat and grabbing Ethan's wrist, throwing the offending limb back at him. "No. I told you that I'm seeing someone and that..."

"I don't care." The words were simple and harsh and cut straight throw Edward. He didn't care, did he? Was this whole night about trying to get into his pants? Edward opened his mouth to argue but Ethan hushed him with a finger against his lips. Ed wanted to bite the damn thing off in that moment. "You said its new, it must be since you were all for mounting me last week. Call it off, I want you. Hell don't call it off, I don't care. But you're mine, Edward."

"Go to hell, Ethan." Edward snapped, his voice a little too loud and his heart hammering against his ribs. He needed to get out of this. He needed his brother. His hand was on the handle again, pulling it and pushing the door open but Ethan's next words froze his blood in his veins.

"Fine. I suppose I could settle for the girl."

A glance over his shoulder at the brunette showed Ethan grinning manically, his attention moving up the building to make it obvious that he meant Winry. Edward took a deep breath and tried to reign in his increasing panic and rage. "Winry would put you in the hospital faster than I would if you tried a damn thing with her." Which wasn't a lie, Edward had been on the receiving end of a few hits from the girl, he had no doubt that she would be more than happy to keep to her word of braining Ethan with her wrench.

Ethan hummed in quiet agreement, but his smirk terrified Edward more than he ever wanted to admit. "Your brother then? He's certainly cute enough. Seems like an innocent little thing, wonder how long that image will last."

"You stay the hell away from my brother!" Edward shouted, his rage overpowering his fear – but only just. "I swear if you so much as fucking breathe near him, I'll kill you."

"Same time next week then? An actual date." Ethan said, moving closer to Edward but the blonde could feel his fear ringing in his ears, and he instinctively backed away, his hand on the handle of the still open door. "Don't worry, I meant what I said, I wouldn't ever force someone into sex, Edward." A hand reached out, tucking blonde hair behind Ed's ear and the alchemist couldn't stop the flinch that he gave. "I'm curious to find out what's gotten you so timid and scared though. You're not like the stories of you. Well, I'll pick you up same time next week. If you try to cancel, well... let's just say, I know where you live, and I know where you're brother has his classes. I had fun tonight, send my regards to Mustang. I know he didn't want me near you for some reason. It'll be fine to piss him off. It also goes without saying that you need to act like this is something you want, you know, really sell it."


	25. Part 2: Chapter 3

The following week was a nightmare. Edward didn't want to stay in the house because Al and Winry had known that he was lying about something the moment he'd gotten in from his not-date with Ethan. He had been on edge and tense and Al's senses were heightened for that kind of thing when it came to his brother so he instantly knew something was wrong. Edward had denied that it was Ethan, trying to play it off as worry about Roy, but he knew that neither really believed him. So he had tried to avoid spending too much time with them until he knew what he was going to do about Ethan and his threats. It was hard to avoid them both and still keep an eye on them though. Edward was scared that Ethan would go after one of them regardless, so he was torn between avoiding them and not ever letting them out of his sight.

It didn't help that he was also worried about Roy. He still hadn't heard from the team, and he knew for a fact that they should have gotten to Briggs without any issue, so when a week came and past with no word from anyone Ed was growing more and more irritable. He found himself in Central Command again, pacing Roy's office and trying to think of a reason that Roy wouldn't have called by now. After almost an hour he dropped into Roy's chair, resting his head in his hands as he took a deep breath in through his nose. He was panicking and all he could focus on was any number of awful things that might have happened to the man that he'd grown to love over the years. Had he even made it to Briggs? Was the team ambushed by someone and hurt? Or had General Armstrong just locked them all up the moment they tried to enter her fort? He had his hand on the phone before he even fully registered what he was doing.

Edward stared at his hand with a frown. What was he doing? Who the hell was he even going to call? Groaning at himself, Edward pushed himself up from the chair, turning his back to the desk and glaring out the window at the parade grounds beyond. There had to be a reason that Roy hadn't called, there just had to be. He had told Ed that he loved him. He wouldn't just say that and then disappear, right? No, Roy wasn't like that. Something must have happened? Maybe he just didn't have time to call?

He was so lost in his troubled thoughts that he didn't hear the quiet footsteps of someone coming into the office through the door he'd left open. It wasn't until the sound of Mustang's inner office door closing that Edward was pulled from his thoughts. His heart stuttered as he turned around and met Ethan's gaze. The brunette looked angry, but Edward wasn't sure why; he didn't care why, not really, but something wasn't right and it flicked a switch in him. Fight or flight was a wonderful thing really, and Ed had a good sense for when something was about to get dangerous – he just wasn't sure why his brain thought that right now was that time.

"Missing your CO that bad?" Ethan spoke, but Edward forced himself not to flinch at the tone. His words weren't cruel, but the disgust in his voice was so obvious that it felt like a smack in the face. "What did I tell you Elric? You're mine."

Ethan moved closer, but Edward took another step back, making sure to keep Roy's desk between them as he glared at the other man. Who the hell did he think he was? Anger bubbled up inside him, burning at the back of his throat, but he bit his tongue. Ethan had threatened Al and Winry. Edward knew that he had to be careful with what he said if he wanted to keep them safe, but fuck, it was hard to keep quiet when all he wanted to do was wipe that smug smirk of this bastard's face.

"What the hell are you going on about?" Edward asked, surprised at how steady his voice came out sounding.

"You and Mustang!" Ethan snapped, slamming his hands down on Roy's desk loud enough that Edward jumped. "I know that you have feelings for him! It's sick, Edward. You're sick! He's your commanding officer. You're half his age. When did this all start, huh? Has he been using you since you signed up?"

Edward was shaking his head from the first angry accusation, his pulse hammering in his throat. It was rumours, there was no way anyone could know the truth, right? Ethan was just trying to get under his skin. He had to be. "What the hell? Do you honestly think that? Mustang wouldn't ever stoop so low, he wouldn't use a child like that. If you seriously think that of him then you're the sick one! I was twelve when I joined, the last thing I wanted was fucking Roy Mustang."

"You want him now though, don't you?" Ethan snarled, moving around the desk and backing Edward into a corner. "You want him to fuck you, don't you? You're nothing but a slut, Edward. Do you seriously think that someone like General Mustang would actually want you? Look at you! He can have anyone he wants, why would he settle for a messed up cripple like you?" Ethan was screaming now, and a distant part of Edward's brain found it entertaining how his once handsome face transformed into something horrific as his eyes grew cold with hatred, his brow dropped into a scowl. He looked at Edward as if he was something disgusting on his boot that he couldn't get rid of.

"Why are you here, Ethan?" Edward asked after a moment. He didn't want to admit how much the other man's words hurt him. He didn't want to let them into his head, because he knew that the moment he did they would dig into his doubts, take root inside his mind and twist and distort everything until it was poisonous and black. He couldn't let Ethan get to him, he knew that, but ignoring his cruel words was harder than Edward would have liked to admit.

"I was told you were here, just sitting around in his office like some sad lost dog." Ethan stepped closer, and Edward continued to back away until his back hit the wall, making him glance over his shoulder to see that he had – in fact – been backed into the corner of the room, with no easy escape. The slam of a fist into the plaster next to his head made Edward jump with fright and he snapped his head back to watch as Ethan leaned over him, one arm pressed against the wall by Edward's head. The palm of the other hand was pressed to Edward's shoulder.

"Are you following me now?" Edward snapped, forcing his panic down, clinging to his bravado as if it was his only lifeline, as if it would keep him from drowning.

"You're mine! Mustang is gone! His team is gone. They left you Edward, and why wouldn't they? He is never coming back to you. I heard he's missing, lost in a blizzard. You're nothing but a lost puppy without your master." Ethan all but growled the words. Before Edward could react his flesh wrist was pinned to the wall and his head forced to the side as Ethan's mouth was on his neck. The sting of teeth biting into his flesh was lost beneath the nausea that threatened to choke him. Edward heard a small, scared whimper and he knew – somehow – that the noise was his own. His lungs felt heavy in his chest, useless and limp, as his fingers tingled with his fear and his mouth ran dry. Edward felt frozen, unable to move and he felt the sting of tears as Ethan pushed his body against his, biting his neck hard enough to bruise.

Whiskey. He could smell whiskey. He could always smell whiskey. His 'master' loved the stuff. The hand on his wrist tightened – as did the fist around his heart and Edward felt the wetness on his cheeks from his tears. Tears he didn't remember shedding. His body was shaking; trembling as he heard his name whispered in his ear. His head spun, light and fuzzy and he knew that he had to control his breathing. He needed to stop and focus on it. Slow, deep breathes. He knew that, but he couldn't make himself do it. He felt like he was dying and he clung to anything to try and ground himself in the panic.

Teeth on his neck; nails digging into his wrist; soft, taunting laughter and his name, whispered like a prayer. He shoved at the other man, forcing distance between them and felt his knees wobble as he got space between their bodies. Hal was dead. This wasn't him, this was Ethan. Hal was gone. So why did that laugh coming from Ethan's lips sound so much like Hal's? Why could he only smell the oak scent of whiskey? Edward couldn't bring himself to look up at his attacker, even as his brain slowly filled in the blanks of his panic. Ethan. He was with Ethan. His neck stung and he could hear cruel laughter over the ringing in his ears. His chest was tight, radiating heat around his body in blind panic. His skin felt like it was on fire and he needed to be alone. He needed Ethan to leave. He needed space to sort his head out, to regain control of himself.

"Get over him, Edward. Mustang is gone." With those parting words, Ethan turned on his heel and left, slamming the door shut behind him. Edward didn't wait for the sound of the outer office door shutting before he dove for the phone on Mustang's desk. He needed to know. He needed to hear Roy's voice. Edward was surprised by how calm his voice sounded as he got the operator to put him through to Briggs, bouncing on the balls of his feet with nervous energy. Ethan was lying, he had to be. Roy was fine. Of course Roy was fine. Ethan was just trying to get under his skin. Roy would answer and everything would be fine.

"General Armstrong, what is it?" The female voice on the other end of the line answered and Edward paused for a moment. Of course Olivier Armstrong would answer. Why would Roy answer the phone in Briggs? He knew that, and still he couldn't stop a part of him curling up in despair. "Well?"

"Sorry, sir. It's Edward Elric here." Edward stuttered, pausing for a second to try to calm himself. "I had something to tell Mustang, is the bastard there?" He waited for an answer, but the silence was long enough of one that he didn't really need to hear the general's words to confirm his fears.

"He is not." Armstrong's voice had softened slightly, and that alone broke his heart. "Mustang and some of his team haven't returned from a mission they went out on last week. I have people searching for them as we speak."

Edward was shaking his head, tears dropping onto the desk beneath his hand as he struggled to make sense of the words. Missing. Mustang was missing. That didn't make any sense. This was the Flame Alchemist they were talking about. It was General Roy Mustang. He couldn't just be missing. Edward didn't even feel the phone slip from his hand. He didn't feel the floor crash beneath him as he dropped to his knees, sobbing into his hands. He couldn't hear Olivier on the line, trying to get his attention.

The only thing Edward knew was the crushing agony in his chest at the thought of Roy being gone, and it was enough that he could barely breathe through the sobs that tore out of his throat.

* * *

It had been hours and Edward still wasn't home and it was worrying Al. His brother had been strange since his dinner with Ethan, but he wouldn't talk to him or Winry about it, just changing the subject whenever they had asked about it or Ethan and that was enough to make Alphonse worry. Edward had told them he was going into Central Command today, to see about finding out what happened with Roy, but that had been hours ago and there hadn't been anything from his brother. Al paced the living room again, and he could feel the weight of Winry's gaze on him.

"I need to go and look for him, Winry."

The girl nodded and was on her feet the moment he finished talking. "I'll come with you." She said, moving to take his hand in her own. Her skin was soft and warm next to his and it helped to take the jagged edges from his worry. She offered him a small smile and squeezed his hand. "I'm sure he'll be okay, though. You know how Ed gets. He's probably found a book and has curled up somewhere with it and completely lost track of time."

"Or he's gotten himself into trouble and is sitting in a jail cell until he cools off." Al muttered, giving Winry a small smile as she laughed at his words.

"At least he's safe locked up. Come on, I'm sure someone at Central will have seen him."

It didn't take them long to walk to Central and Alphonse wasted no time in making his way to the woman sitting at the reception desk, waiting patiently for her to notice him. Thankfully it didn't take too long before she looked up and smiled a greeting at him. He tried to return it, but he knew that it fell short. He was too worried about Ed to really manage a smile, but he was raised better and would never forget his manners. Winry squeezed his hand as he spoke.

"Hi there, I'm looking for my brother, Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist. He was coming in today but I've not heard from him. Have you seen him?"

The woman nodded and looked down at her desk for a moment, her eyes scanning a log in sheet. After a moment that felt too long to Al, she nodded again. "Yeah, he's signed in a few hours ago and never signed out. He should still be here. Perhaps he's in the canteen or in General Mustang's office? Would you like me to call up to the office?"

"No, thank you. I know where it is. I'll just go have a look for him. He's probably lost in some research."

Alphonse smiled, nodding his thanks to the woman as he and Winry moved further into the building, making their way up the stairs and around the bland, long corridors of Central Command until they made it to the General's office. The door was shut but Alphonse didn't wait before letting himself in and calling out to his brother. The outer office was completely empty, the desks bare and tidy, all paperwork filed away while the team was gone. Winry was distracted looking at a photo on the wall from when they were younger, a group shot of the whole team while Al was still trapped in the armour. He left her to look at it while he moved to Roy's inner office, opening the door – almost afraid of what he'd find.

What he did find made him pause in the doorway for a long moment. On the floor, curled up with his back against the General's desk was his brother. Edward was resting his head on his knees, hugging them close to his chest and rocking back and forth a little in an attempt to comfort himself. He was crying silently, but staring out of the large windows of the office with a distant look in his eyes. It was as if he wasn't there at all, as if his body was there but his mind was miles away. He didn't react to the sound of the door opening, or to Alphonse moving to his side. Even when Al sat next to him, Edward didn't so much as twitch. It was only when Al reached out to press a hand to Ed's arm that his brother moved.

At the touch, Edward jerked away, fear flashing across his features as he tried to put distance between them. It was only for a few seconds and then his brilliant mind caught up with him and he realised that it was Al that had touched him. The panic faded, and the deeper darkness returned. Alphonse noticed the phone then, hanging down the side of the desk; forgotten. He noticed the nail marks and bruises forming along his brother's flesh wrist. He noticed the bruising on Edward's neck that Al knew hadn't been put there willingly. Edward wouldn't let anyone claim him in such a sexual manner, not unless it was Roy – he supposed. But Roy was in the North.

The anger was sudden, and Alphonse wanted nothing more that to find who had hurt his brother like this and beat them into next week. Edward had suffered enough in his life, and nobody deserved to be assaulted like that! He was aware of Winry moving into the room, hesitating at his back for a minute, waiting to see what happened. He could sense the angry energy from her as she also took in the state of her childhood friend. "Brother?" Al spoke, and the instant that he did it was like he broke whatever spell they were all under.

"He's missing." Edward whispered, his voice hoarse and pained as fresh sobs tore through his body. "Al, he's missing. Roy's gone." The younger Elric pulled his big brother to him then, as Edward fell to pieces in front of them all over again. He didn't know what to say to comfort Edward, he didn't know how to make it better and he wanted to know who had attacked his brother, but he knew that Edward wouldn't even notice his injuries in that moment, he would be too concerned with this lover, with the man that only last week had sat in their home and told Alphonse and Winry of his intentions with Ed – much to the younger alchemist's embarrassment.

Winry moved silently around the brothers, dropping to her knees behind Edward and wrapped her arms around him completely until Edward was almost smothered between them. He didn't seem to care; he didn't even seem to notice. His fingers – flesh and metal – just curled into Alphonse's shirt, tugging on the material as he wept. He cried for so long that Alphonse was sure that he was going to make himself sick. He cried for so long that eventually there was no sound from him, just the trembling of his shoulders and the occasional gasp of air to try and regulate his breathing. All Al could do was hold him, rubbing comforting circles across his shoulder blades and wait for the storm to pass.

It broke his heart to see Edward so hurt though, and Alphonse wished for any way that would make this easier for his brother. He knew that they needed to find Mustang, and the youngest Elric found himself silently praying to a deity neither of them believed in – asking for one wish; asking that Mustang be safe and alive. He didn't know how Edward would cope in his vulnerable state if the man he loved was gone forever. Al stayed with his brother until Edward had drifted off into a dreamless sleep, curled up against him. He watched in silence as Winry managed to get through to Briggs and he listened intently to her side of the conversation with someone he could only assume was General Armstrong.


	26. Part 2: Chapter 4

Silence and blackness. It was all he'd known for what felt like years now. His hands where tied tightly behind his back, so tightly that his fingers had lost feeling in them a while ago now. He was sitting with his back to a wall, but he didn't know where his prison was. All he knew was that it was cold, and dark, and silent. So silent that the ringing in his ears had become deafening to his senses. He'd lost track of time. The first day he'd been with Riza, he knew that. They had both been tied up, sitting opposite from each other. It had been a comfort, to have his friend so close. With her by his side, Roy knew that he could survive anything, and it was good to see her, to talk to her and know that neither of them were hurt; other than a few bruises or cuts.

Riza had this calm confidence in herself and in him that helped Roy ignore his dread and doubts and truly believe that they would make it out of this alive and well. The mission had went terribly, clearly, but he was Roy Mustang and while his situation looked dire at that moment, he had Riza at his side and with Hawkeye at his side, guarding and supporting him, Roy could do anything.

After the first day though, they came in and took Riza from him. She fought them, of course she did. Roy fought to help her, but his hands were bound. They had expected a fight, and so they had brought backup, and because of that Roy hadn't stood a chance. He managed to stumble to his feet when he heard Riza's pained grunt, demanding that they unhand her. His protests were met with thick Drachman and the butt of a gun cracking against the back of his skull. His vision had blurred as the room swam as he stumbled, dropping heavily to his knees. He couldn't catch himself on his hands, which were bound behind him still, so the ground slammed painfully into his knees. Cursing quietly, Roy tried to talk his stunned brain into action, but the blow had been hard and the world was spinning away from him.

Someone tugged at his tied hands, yanking him to his feet and pulling his arms harshly behind him. The agony slammed through his shoulders and he hissed at the pain, struggling to focus on the moment around him. He heard Riza calling out to him. He looked up just in time to see the flash of the blade in the light as it was driven into his Captain's side. Everything froze in that moment, his breathing and heart, even their struggling. Everything just stopped. It only lasted a moment, because then the knife was removed and Riza's blood splashed across the wall by the door, soaking into her uniform and staining the dark blue material. Her soft gasp renewed Roy's fight, and he snarled at the men that held him. "Captain! Let go of her. You bastards, I'll burn you all for this. Riza, don't you dare die!"

Another blow to the back of his head darkened the world around him, but he didn't drop again. Strong hands around his arms kept him from the floor, but Roy felt his grip on reality slip from his clutches. He heard Riza's voice, heard her pain and panic but he couldn't make out the words. His vision swam, and then went completely as the darkness had pulled him under. When he'd woken again, everything was still dark. His head was throbbing, and he felt like his stomach would turn on him if given half the chance. There was no noise around him either, and the cold of the North was seeping in through the brick walls leaving him aching and shivering. Blinking a few times hadn't helped the blackness, and he knew then that his ears and eyes were both covered with something. He struggled, brushing his head against his shoulder to try and dislodge the offending objects but nothing shifted and his world had remained silent and black and cold.

The fear that bubbled up was suffocating, he was helpless, bound and without his senses. Memories threatened to overwhelm him. Memories of Father, of the human transmutation he'd been forced to do at his bidding and of the resulting price he'd had to pay. He'd lost his eyesight, and had been useless without it, crippled and defenceless. He had only survived by Riza's unwavering support, but he didn't have that now. He didn't even know if she was alive; the last he had seen was her bleeding and being dragged from him.

Roy fought against the dark thoughts and the fear that gripped him, trying to find something to ground him. He thought of Hughes, of his best friend would always manage to calm him in a situation like this. Hughes had talked Roy out of some of his darkest moments and had supported him throughout everything, but Hughes was gone. Roy had let him die and thinking about him when he was struggling to keep his shit together wasn't helping. He couldn't think about Riza or his team, not without worry himself sick about their welfare, so naturally his mind went to its favourite distraction. Ed.

Roy needed to get out of this. He needed to calm himself so he can find a way to get out of wherever the hell he was and get back to his man. He needed to get back to Edward, to make sure that the other alchemist would get the help that he needed to heal from his trauma. He needed to get home to Edward to see where this relationship could go, because it had so much potential. Roy knew that it could be the best thing that he'd ever let himself have and he didn't want to have to die in this cold, black cell without feeling Edward's heart beat against his own again. He'd finally told the young man how he'd felt for him, had let the feelings out in one moment of weakness that he was sure was going to be a mistake right up until it wasn't. He couldn't have everything that could have been end like this!

Roy wasn't sure how long he'd sat there in the dark quiet, but after a while he became painfully aware of another urgent problem that he was having. It had been awhile since he'd been able to empty his bladder and now the need was building painfully in his pelvis. He tired calling out to someone, but whatever was covering his ears drowned out even his own words. He was pretty sure that he'd shouted out, but not being able to hear his own words was unnerving. He waited, and called out again but nothing happened.

Without his sight or his hearing, Roy struggled to judge time and its passage. He'd tried to count, both to keep track and to try and take his mind of his growing need to urinate, but he couldn't focus too long on it. His head ached and whenever he moved it he felt his stomach twist into a knot. He stilled for a moment, fighting the urge to vomit, waiting until the nausea passed before he struggled to try and free his hands. If he could even get them in front of him then he wouldn't have a problem relieving himself without the embarrassment of physically wetting himself. He was a grown man, and the thought of sitting here that vulnerable made his skin crawl.

After a hopeless moment, Roy stopped struggling. He wasn't going to be able to free his hands, or move them in front of him and all he was going to achieve was tiring himself out when he needed to be alert to get out of this. He was sure that he'd been left alone to die in this cold prison, so when hands roughly grabbed his arms, his heart about stopped in fright. He tried to talk, to ask them to let him see or hear. Anything to make him feel in control again. If they replied, he didn't hear it. He was pulled to his feet and the sudden movement disorientated him; he was pretty sure that he had a concussion, but it could just be the limited senses that he had. Hands were holding him up, moving to the buttons of his uniform shirt. Uncertainty gave him pause, and he was only vaguely aware of the breath trapped inside his chest. What was going on?

His shirt was fully unbuttoned and slipped down his shoulders, the chill in the room seeping into his bared skin and making him shiver. He protested when hands were at his trousers, jerking back in an attempt to stop them from whatever they were doing, but it didn't help. Rough, calloused fingers dug into his hips as his trousers were pushed down, along with his boxers and throughout the whole thing, Roy couldn't see or hear a thing. His heart was racing and he kept trying to talk to his captors, but they didn't give him any indication that they had heard him; or even understood him. The clothes were fully removed him, his shirt cut to get it off his bound hands without the risk of untying him.

As suddenly as he was pulled to his feet, he was forced back down to his knees, the cold, stone floor beneath him was rough and cut into his skin as he struggled to stand again. There were no longer hands on him, but he couldn't tell if he was alone or not. He called out to the strangers again, but was still met with nothing but silent darkness and a troubled shudder ran through him. Completely naked, the cold in the room soon left him shivering.

A choked sob slipped past his lips when he was no longer able to control his bladder, the shame of being reduced to this made him feel sick to his stomach. Roy managed to back himself into the corner of the room, away from the evidence of his accident, and pulled his knees up to his chest. He wanted to wrap his arms around them, but they were still tied painfully behind his back and it wasn't long until everything in his body was screaming complaints at him from the shivering. He went back to trying to count, hoping that it would keep his mind away from the darker corners of his mind, away from the shame that was crushing his ribs; away from thoughts of Riza and if she was okay, away from the fear that he would never see Edward smile again.

* * *

It could have been hours or weeks when he was next pulled from his solitude, but all Roy knew was that he'd been left to wet himself in the bitter cold room without any kind of food or drink for long enough that he was starting to suffer the affects of such. His breathing and heartbeat were too fast. He was fatigued and his stomach ached with the need for sustenance. He had started to believe that he'd been left there to die, so when the mask was roughly removed from his head and light and sound flooded back to him, Roy covered away from it. It was too bright, the light bounced off the white walls of his prison and burned into his eyes, leaving stars dancing in his vision. Too loud voices shouted words he didn't recognise and before his confused and tired mind could even attempt to catch up a plate was thrust in his face.

There was a roll of bread on the plate, and Roy simultaneously wanted to eat it as fast as he could and turn from it; the thought of eating anything leaving a greasy sick feeling in his stomach. He didn't get a choice though, because his numb arms were never untied and instead the roll was force fed to him with just enough care that he didn't gag and throw it back up the moment he'd swallowed it. He wasn't given any time to recover before a glass of water was being forced down his throat also, but his thirst had him almost begging them for more of the blissful fluid when they'd taken the empty glass from him.

The men had ignored him the entire time, not once looking at him or reacting to anything he said, and both his anxiety and his anger snapped when he was ignored for the fifth time while trying to get information about Riza out of them. He wanted to burn these bastards so much that his whole body shook with the urge, but even the snap of his fingers behind his back didn't give him the slightest bit of satisfaction. All he got in return was a cruel laugh and then the mask was forced back over his head, blocking out the light and the sound once more; but the dancing stars from the light lingered as he was pulled, stumbling, from the room.

Roy didn't know where he was being taken, but the hands on both his arms kept his stumbling feet from tripping him. Even the effort of trying to walk along side his captors was exhausting to his deprived body and the cold from his room lingered in the hallways he was being half carried through. He wanted nothing more than to collapse into his nice, warm bed and sleep for a week, but he knew in his gut that he'd never see it again. Riza could be dead, his team was nowhere near him. He didn't even know if he was still in Amestris or not. Had they taken them into Drachma? Was he going to waste away and die here or were they going to interrogate him for military secrets? He'd been here for days, or was it weeks? Yet they hadn't paid him the blindest bit of attention. They had a high ranking officer of their enemies' forces and they seemed happy to leave him to quietly die in a cell somewhere. It didn't make any sense.

Their little party stopped, and Roy slumped against the men holding him on his feet. He just wanted to sleep. Suddenly his hands were cut free from their bonds, and the stinging agony that shot through his arms as they were yanked up and over his head had him biting into his lip hard enough that he tasted blood just to stop the scream from being voiced. His hands were locked into some kind of metal cuff hanging from the ceiling, which was just slightly too far out of reach so it left him standing on his toes to stop the metal cutting into his skin.

Roy wanted to ask them what they were doing, but he knew that they would ignore him. Even if they didn't, he had been deprived on his senses again so any answer would be lost to him. He was so focused on the burning that roared through his arms that when the first shock of freezing cold water was thrown over him it took his breath from him. Gasping and coughing, Roy struggled to steady his racing heart and then there were hands on him again, scrubbing over his skin with rough cloths until his skin felt raw, interrupted at times with bucketfuls of icy water. Roy felt himself whimper, rather than heard it, when the hands were rubbing over his ass and cupping his testicles; a pained groan slipped from his lips when they were squeezed and Roy clenched his jaw, grinding his teeth together as he was washed and groped.

As suddenly as the assault had started, it had stopped again. He wasn't released from his position, and Roy was tense for a long while – waiting for another assault that never came. After a while it became clear that they had showered him and just left him to hang from the ceiling where he was. Never once did Roy think he'd miss his other cell, but standing there on his toes, dripping wet in Drachman cold, Roy almost found himself hoping for a quick death. The thought only chased away by Hughes' voice in his head, encouraging him to reach his goal. He had to survive this. Not just for himself, or the team, or for Edward; no, Roy had to make it out of this so he could change this country and stop this kind of thing from happening.


	27. Part 2: Chapter 5

**AN:** Hey guys, so life is shit all over again.

I ran outta my meds and got a little suicidal for like a week there. Back on them now and slowly getting back to normal, but I really hate winter. The cold, and the dark mornings/nights. This will be my first Christmas without him, and the first new year party I go to with friends to try and forget how painfully alone I am. I just want to sleep until like May.

So on that super cheerful note, here, have a shit tonne of angst.

As always, its not beta'd, and I love hearing from you guys. You never fail to make me smile!

* * *

Winry had managed to get through to Havoc in Briggs, who had filled her in on what had happened. Mustang and Riza had been separated from the rest of the team when they had been called into a meeting with Briggs' soldiers. They had never returned and a blizzard had stopped the team from investigating right away. Havoc had told Winry that they had tried to search for them both the moment that they could, but they hadn't been able to find any sign of them; the blizzard had covered any tracks that had been made and the outpost where the meeting had taken place was empty with no clues as to where the General and his Captain were.

Alphonse listened to his girlfriend's side of the conversation, his arms still wrapped around a trembling, but silent Edward and his heart sank from the look that Winry gave him. It wasn't that they'd doubted Edward, but they wanted to get more information than he'd been able to get and from the look of it though, the information that they got wasn't good. Al turned his attention back to his brother then, they needed to get him home. Not only was he trying to deal with the news of Roy, but someone had sexually attacked him at work, and Alphonse knew that his brother wasn't stable enough to deal with that alone right now.

Once Winry had thanked Havoc and put the phone down, Al moved, pulling away from Ed slowly. His heart split in two at his brother's sad whine when he moved, but he took Ed's flesh hand in his own and after a moment he and Winry managed to pull Ed up and onto his feet. He hated seeing his brother like this, so when Ed glanced around the empty office and made a broken noise before shutting his eyes tightly, Al wanted nothing more than to hold him and never let go.

"Come on, Brother. We'll go home and I'll make you some tea and we'll think of a plan to fix this." Al said, offering Ed an encouraging smile that he didn't see. The older brother stared at the ground for the entire walk, and Al could have celebrated the fact that HQ was particularly empty. It meant that nobody noticed Ed being pulled out, or the bruising on his body. Nobody saw the distracted, distant look on his face and that meant that nobody could ask what was wrong.

They had almost reached the reception area when Al stopped. Winry had fallen behind a little, and he didn't want to lose her in the corridors; especially since she wasn't as used to them as he and his brother were. When he stopped, Edward did too, but Ed didn't turn around when Al did. That was a small mercy, but Alphonse couldn't pay it attention, because there was a man holding Winry's wrist, looming over her with a cold smile. A man greying with age, with a large scar running down over his eye. A man that Alphonse had thought he'd never see again, one that was meant to be locked up. The same man that had shot him, and sold his brother.

Fear and anger fought for dominance and Al had to actively focus on his hold on Edward, but he knew that he'd tensed up. He couldn't not. He needed to get them all out of there, but he wanted to beat the man in front of him so bad that he'd never walk again. Alphonse didn't like to get violent. That was much more his brother's way of dealing with a problem, but when it came to his family and those that he cared about, there was nothing that Al wouldn't do.

"Aren't you a pretty little thing?" Al heard the scarred man saying, and it was then that he let go of Edward, turning to fully face the man and Winry. He felt Edward turn too, and heard the sharp intake of breath.

"Hey, let go of her!" Alphonse snapped, storming over and shoving the man hard. The slaver stumbled back a few steps and Al moved in front of Winry, tugging her a few steps back.

"Al, you don't need to defend me. I can handle this!" Winry snapped, no doubt annoyed at being treated like a damsel in distress. That hadn't been Al's idea. He knew that she was more than capable of defending herself, but he wasn't able to just stand there and not help.

"Winry, take brother outside."

It was then that Ed spoke up, for the first time since they had found him. "No way in hell, Al!" His brother pressed an automail hand into Al's and pulled him back slightly. "What the hell are you thinking!?"

"Ed?" Winry asked, her angry protests turning to confusion. "Al? What's going on? Who is..."

"Ah, the Elric brothers." The slaver interrupted Winry, speaking as though she had never said a thing. "How good it is to see you both again. Although that had not been my intention."

Al shuddered at the cruel smirk he got, holding onto his brother's hand so tightly that the steel dug into his own flesh. Winry was at his other side, her hand pressed lightly on his shoulder and it was both of them that helped to keep him grounded. He was shaking his head, glaring at the man in front of him and he wanted nothing more than to get his brother and girlfriend out of here. He wanted to race home and lock them all safely in the apartment. He felt Ed's hand tighten around his own for a brief second, and then it was gone.

Before Al could stop him, Edward had darted forward, slamming the slaver into the wall hard enough that Al heard his head crack against the plaster. Winry gasped and tried to rush to them, no doubt to stop Edward but Al took her hand, stopping her. This was good. It was better than Edward freezing up. Ed needed to do this, and Al would step in if his brother needed it, but right now he was fine watching his brother make the bastard bleed.

"You're meant to be rotting in a cell!" Edward snarled, slamming steel into the wall by the slaver's head hard enough that he split the plaster. "How the hell did you escape?"

"I didn't." The slaver said with a laugh, and Edward frowned. "I didn't have to escape, Edward. They let me out."

Edward recoiled – almost like he'd been struck – and shook his head. He didn't speak, he couldn't speak, but then he didn't have to. The slave master continued, grinning like a maniac. "Turns out they had no evidence to any crime I apparently committed. So when your commanding officer attacked me for no reason – twice, in fact – while I was defenceless, they had no choice but to release me." The slaver took two steps forward, and Edward backed up, shaking his head still until his back hit the opposite wall of the corridor. Al jerked forward a step then, but froze, trying to let the information sink in. He heard Winry at his side; heard her ask what was going on. He wanted to tell her, he needed to let her know who this man was, but he couldn't bring himself to say the words.

"You got me a pretty little sum, Edward." The slaver dropped his voice into a deep hush, his hand reaching out and stroking a finger down Ed's jaw, stopping at the bruise on his neck. "I wonder how much I'd get for you now that you're broken and tainted? I see Hal turned you into a little slut. Do you love belonging to someone now? Is that why you let yourself be marked like this?"

Edward flinched away, shutting his eyes tightly but Al had caught the shine of tears in them before he had. It was all he needed to get him moving again and he rushed the other man, pushing him away from his brother and punching him hard across the face. The slaver hadn't been expecting the attack, and his shock made him stumble. Al took that moment to kick his legs out from under him and watched as the slaver went down like a sack of bricks. His hands were clenched so tightly that his knuckles ached.

"Al! What the hell are you doing?" Winry shouted at him, but she was close; he could hear her not far behind him, no doubt having ran to Ed the moment that he was safe. Al risked a glance over his shoulder to confirm that suspicion and saw that Ed had slid down the wall and curled up, his face in his knees and was mumbling something too but he was too far away for Al to be able to make out what he was saying. Winry was kneeling next to him, frowning as she glanced between the brothers. When her gaze met his own, Al turned back to the slaver, who was laughing on the ground. He didn't like this side of himself, and he hated Winry seeing it, but he needed to defend his brother right now and that was all that mattered.

"I think your boyfriend is still a little angry at me for shooting him." The slaver said with another laugh, and Al wanted to make him bleed in that moment.

"You SOLD my brother! Everything that has happened is because of you!" Al screamed, his body trembling with the need to break something. The slaver just laughed and Al took a step forward. He was stopped by a hand on his elbow and turned to glare at the girl next to him. Winry didn't flinch, only offering him a sad pleading look.

"Al, we can't do anything here. I don't know why he's not locked up, but we can't change that." She told him softly, glancing down at the man who had sat up but stayed on the ground. The slaver was watching Edward with a smirk that made Al want to bash his skull in with.

"Its not right! Its not fucking right!" He snapped, his friend flinching at his side. He didn't curse often and she wasn't used to such harsh language coming from the younger brother, but Al caught her glance back towards Edward. His brother was still curled up against the wall, mumbling to himself, his shoulders shaking slightly with what Al knew would be silent sobs.

"I know, Al. I know, but we can't change that. Your brother needs you right now. We need to get him home, Alphonse. He's just muttering ingredients over and over to himself. He didn't once acknowledge me." She told him quietly, and Al felt sick listening to her words.

"Ingredients for what?" He asked, but he knew already. He'd heard Edward whispering the components to human transmutation to himself a lot more lately. Whenever something wound Ed up, that's what his brother would turn to doing and it concerned Al; he didn't think that Edward was going to attempt another transmutation, but it concerned him either way.

Winry didn't reply to him. She didn't need to, not really. All she did was pull him away from the slaver and force him closer to Ed, and he moved to his distraught brother without any more prompting. He heard Winry hiss something at the slaver, and then saw the man leave with a laugh out of the corner of his eye, but his attention was on Ed in that moment. Winry was back at his side before long, a sad frown on her pretty face as she watched Edward.

"Come on, Brother. We need to get you home." Al said gently, trying to pull Ed out of his trance-like state. It took some prompting, but eventually Edward looked up at Al. His eyes shone with tears and Al's heart broken all over again at the pain in them. He'd never seen Ed so broken and scared, and he had watched his brother face down a god. Alphonse wasn't sure how Edward was going to be able to recover from this.

"Its not safe." Ed mumbled, and Al shook his head to clear it of his worry.

"What? Of course it is. Come on, Ed. We can't stay here."

Al pulled his brother to his feet, but Edward was still shaking his head, tears threatening to fall but never managing to. Al glanced at Winry, trying to figure out if she had any idea why Edward was so convinced that their apartment was no longer safe, but she looked just as lost as he felt. Edward rubbed a flesh hand over his eyes, scrubbing away tears and then turned a dry, pleading look onto Alphonse. Whatever was wrong, Al knew that Ed was certain that it was a risk, and after all these years, he knew better than to question his brother's judgement on that.

"Okay." Al said, frowning and glancing back at Winry again. "Where will we go then?"

"I have an idea." Ed muttered, sighing and moving towards the exit on slightly shaky legs. _Water thirty-five litres, Carbon twenty kilograms, Ammonia four litres..._ He repeated the mantra over and over again in his head, finding comfort in the facts; in the knowledge he'd learnt so long ago now. It was a fair walk to Chris' bar, but the chill in the air didn't bother Edward, and if Al or Winry were affected by it, then neither said a thing as they tried to engage him in conversation. Edward didn't reply for the most part, he was too busy trying to control his breathing, slow his heart. He was preoccupied with trying to not vomit up the bile that burned at the back of his throat.

Edward reached a hand up to his neck, his flesh fingers brushing across the skin there. Ethan had bruised him, claimed him. Hal had done the same. He could still here the whispered words, said like a prayer as he silently begged for it to end. He could still smell the alcohol, and feel the hands pulling his hips upwards and closer. _Water thirty-five litres, Carbon twenty kilograms, Ammonia four litres,_ _Lime one point five kilograms, Phosphorous eight hundred grams, Salt two hundred and fifty grams, Saltpeter one hundred grams, Sulfur eighty grams, Fluorine seven point five grams, Iron five grams, Silicon three grams and fifteen traces of other elements_ _._ Humans were cheap to make, easy in theory. Impossible in reality. Humans were really something else; it didn't make sense how they could be so cruel to each other.

"Edward?" Al's voice broke through into the storm of Ed's mind and he looked up from the ground to meet his brother's eyes. "Ed, this is a bar."

"I think it might actually be a brothel, Ed." Winry added, frowning and moving closer, shivering a little. Al pulled her into his side, wrapping an arm around her and she nuzzled into his chest with a quiet, happy noise. It was adorable really, but Edward looked away. It made him miss Roy more, and he couldn't think about that right now, not while he was barely holding himself together.

"It is." Ed said simply, pushing his way into the bar, Al and Winry right behind him.

"Edward, what the hell makes you think a whorehouse is safer than your apartment?" Winry hissed at him, grabbing his elbow as they stepped inside. "Come on, this is insane. Lets go home. You can drink there and we can keep you safe."

Edward turned to fully face his friend then, taking her hands into his own and pleading with her through nothing but a look and the tone of his voice. "Win, trust me. The apartment isn't safe, not now. This is the safest place in Central."

Winry was shaking her head, a question on her lips when a pretty brunette came up and slung her arm around Edward's shoulders. "Ed, isn't it? How are you honey. Last we saw you, Roy was basically carrying you outta here." She laughed, carefree and happy and it was like an icy dagger through Ed's heart. He tried to force a smile and introduced his brother and friend to the woman.

"Is the Madame in? I need to talk to her?" Ed asked and the girl nodded before disappearing through a door that led to the back of the building. Edward turned to meet the expectant looks of Al and Winry. "Madame Christmas is Roy's aunt. Chris Mustang. She raised him when his parents were killed. I have no doubt that he would have asked her to keep an eye on us all while he was away. She needs to know about... I need to tell her what's happened. She can keep you both safe."

"What the hell does that mean, Edward? Keep us safe? What about you?" Winry snapped, glancing between the brothers and no doubt catching the look that they shared.

"I'm going after him, Win. I can't just sit around here on my ass and wait for news. Al's too weak to be hiking around Briggs, and I need you here with him. I heard you while we were walking over here; you said it was just Hawkeye and Roy that were missing. That means the rest of the team are there to back me up. I need to do this." Edward said, offering a small smile. "So I'm gonna need you to fit me with different automail."

"Edward..." Winry started, but was interrupted by Madame Christmas in that moment.

"What brings you by, my boy?" She said, the cigarette balancing between painted lips.

"Can we talk in private?" Ed asked. The older woman nodded, and after getting her girls to supply Al and Winry with drink and conversation, she led Edward through the back door into a narrow corridor. They headed up a flight of stairs and into a small living room. She poured herself and Ed a drink and then sat across from him, close to the fire that burned happily in the grate.

There was a long stretch of silence, and Edward didn't know how to start. He chewed on his lip, staring at the liquid in his glass as he tried to figure out a way to tell this woman that her adopted son was missing, possibly dead. How could he say those words when he so desperately wanted to forget them, praying that they were lies? How could he tell her that, and then ask her to watch over Winry and Al for him? The silence wasn't awkward, and Chris didn't seem to mind sitting in silence watching the fire, waiting for him to talk in his own time; but he couldn't find the words now that he was here.

"Roy often sits in this room, moping just like you are." Chris said after a moment, and the words sounded so harsh, even in the gentle tone that Edward just blinked back at her. "If you are here to tell me that he's missing, I already know. I have informants everywhere. Don't worry on it, Roy-Boy always gets himself out of his own messes; he'll be fine."

Edward nodded, blinking back the tears and looked back down at his glass. How the hell was he meant to reply to that? At the very least it took the pressure off telling her that Roy was possibly dead. He didn't know why he didn't think that she would already know, of course she would. She basically ran a spy network within her brothel, and it had been a week since the last mention of Roy. Edward swallowed back the lump in his throat, putting the glass down on the coffee table, next to a newspaper.

"I need you to look after my brother and friend." He blurted out, meeting her eyes. "I'm going after him. I'm going to find him, but they need to stay here and its not safe for them alone. I know its a lot to ask, but please, I can't leave them in our apartment."

"Of course. Roy would never forgive me if anything happened to you lot. Does this have something to do with the bites on your neck, though?" Chris asked, raising an eyebrow and Edward looked away, tugging his collar a little higher up. "Cause honey, I know that they weren't put there by my boy. What's going on Edward?"

He couldn't meet her eye, he couldn't tell her that he was being attacked by a man that Roy had tried to keep him from. Hi gaze flickered to the newspaper, just as a smash was heard from downstairs. Chris sighed, excusing herself and left the room to see what was going on in the bar. With a frown, Edward watched her go and then swiped the newspaper from the table, the headline catching his eye. The picture he new instantly, the redheaded girl smiling happily at the camera, her laugher crinkling in the corners of her eyes, but the words didn't make any sense to him.

 _Young woman believed to have committed suicide after slave trauma._


	28. Part 2: Chapter 6

Edward read the article and then reread it, bile rising to burn the back of his throat; his hands were shaking as he stared at the words. She'd killed herself. Her family had all thought that she was really happy, that she was coping with everything really well, but according to the article the girl had been seeing a therapist, and he had mentioned that she wasn't sleeping because of the nightmares, that she had spoken about wanting it to all end. She had shot herself the next day in her family home.

Edward dropped the newspaper back down onto the table, next to his glass of untouched alcohol; his vision blurred with tears as he pushed himself to his feet and all but ran from the room. He couldn't cope with this, he needed air. Sneaking out of the back door was easy enough, and nobody tried to stop him so he clearly managed it without being seen. Part of him – a small, quiet voice in his mind – told him to stop; to turn around and go back to the bar, to go to his brother and Winry. He knew that he couldn't be alone in that moment, but the thought of being there surrounded by people made his chest tighten in fear. He needed to be alone, and yet knew that he couldn't be. That it was stupid to be alone.

Edward ran from the bar, not paying attention to where his feet were taking him. He ran until his lungs were burning, and his legs ached, and then he pushed himself to run further. Cara's face flashed behind his eyes. Cara's face, smiling down at Simon. Cara tending to his injuries. Cara cooking their meals, and cleaning the house. Cara being led away from the house as Roy and his team saved them. Cara at the hospital. Cara, Cara, Cara. Edward had failed her, just like he'd failed Simon, and Nina and Hughes.

Of course she wasn't fucking okay! How could she have been? She had been kidnapped and sold into slavery. While Hal hadn't abused her like he had Edward or Simon, she had suffered because of him regardless. She had seen the mess he'd left Edward and Simon in, had heard their suffering and had been forced to live in a constant state of fear. Terrified that she would do or say something wrong and that it would be her in the basement with a whip cracking against her back; her lying on the floor, blood pooling from her neck.

Edward stopped, doubling over as he vomited into the grass, his body trembling from the excertion. He had killed Simon, he had failed in protecting Nina and now Cara was dead because he hadn't thought to check on her. He'd suffered with her, he should have known that she would be struggling as much as he was, but he hadn't once thought about her. He was selfish, he had always known it, deep down, but this was a whole new level, even for him.

Edward stood up straight on shaky legs and rubbed the back of his flesh hand against his mouth, as he continued to let his feet carry him further away from the Madame's bar. His mind was a storm of thoughts. Thoughts of those that he had failed, of those that had suffered because of him, and he needed it to stop. He was so lost in the storm that he didn't notice the tears on his cheeks, or the people that watched as he walked past, casting worried glances his way. Edward stopped on a bridge, the glittering lights in the river catching his attention and he moved closer, leaning over the wall to watch as the city danced in the current of the river.

He hated feeling like this, he hated the hollow ache that consumed him, that filled his chest where his lungs and heart should be; the ache that stopped his breathing and made him wish he'd never been born. Perhaps, Cara was at peace now? Did she feel the same way? Edward hadn't considered it before, not really. He had always struggled on for Al, but his brother had Winry now. Everyone would be better off without him.

He brushed tears away from his cheeks as he climbed over the wall, watching the water below him. This would stop the agony inside him, this would stop the storm that ravaged his mind. He could do this, and fail everyone one last time, and then they would all be free of him. He'd never hurt them again, they could all be happy without him bringing such sin and ruin into their lives. Edward choked on a sob and shut his eyes, automail fingers digging into the wall as he committed himself to this. The last thought that went through his mind was of Roy confessing his love to him; and then the icy water surrounded him, stole his breath and the weight of his automail dragged him under.

"There! On the bridge!" Winry shouted, pointing towards Edward as the car turned the corner and Al's heart stopped. They had found that Edward had ran off and Al had seen the headline of the newspaper and knew that Ed would have freaked out about it. He'd blame himself, that was just what his brother did, so he was happy when the Madame didn't need asked to get people out looking for Edward. Winry and himself had went with her in her car as some of the girls went out on foot to search for him.

Al threw himself out of the car before it had fully stopped, his heart racing at the sight of his brother on the bridge, hanging onto the wall. "Edward!" His voice was quiet, too quiet. His fear froze him in place, what the hell was his brother doing? What was Edward thinking? Behind him, the car came to a stop and Al could hear the doors opening and closing as the Madame and Winry joined him. Winry's hand gripping his wrist as her breath was gasped in.

"What's he doing?" She asked softly, the tears she was forcing back were straining at her voice. "Al, he wouldn't? Would he?"

Al shook his head; Edward wouldn't be like this. Edward wouldn't leave them, surely? Didn't he know how much he was loved? Winry's hand slipped into his hand and he squeezed it as the Madame called out to his brother, but Edward either ignored them or didn't hear their calls. Alphonse rubbed at his eyes, drying the tears away and glaring at the back of his brother's head. "Brother!" He shouted, but Ed didn't respond. "Edward, please come down!"

Al took a step forward, and the moment he did it was like the world moved in slow motion. He saw every fraction of the seconds drag by as Edward let go of the wall, falling forward. He heard Winry's scream, and his own cry. He froze, his brain not understanding the information that it was being given but then he felt Winry's hand leave his and all of a sudden he was rushing forward, racing towards the wall, stumbling slightly in his haste to get there. He was already halfway over the wall when he was pulled back roughly and he knew, distantly, that the scream was his.

"Al! Alphonse stop it!" Winry sobbed into his back as he struggled against her. "You can't! You're too weak!" A hand – The Madame's – was placed firmly on his shoulder and Al knew that Winry was right. He was still recovering from being shot, but this was his brother. It was Edward! He needed to save him. His automail would drag him under and Ed had never learnt to swim and if they left him then he was going to die! Al sobbed, all the fight leaving him then as he dropped to his knees with a frustrated shout. He heard Chris talking to him, trying to get his attention but Al couldn't make sense of the words, none of them made any sense and he just stared at where his brother had been, his vision blurring with tears.

Too late, Alphonse noticed that Winry had left his side, and he watched in horror as she vaulted the wall, diving in after his brother. He raised his hands, covering his face as he broke down, curling up into himself as he sobbed. He could feel his heart breaking, and he was surprised that any air made it into his lungs at all. He had no sense of how long he'd sat there crying for, but too soon he was pulled to his feet, Chris filling his watery vision as she spoke to him. Alphonse just shook his head, not understanding her words and she huffed as she repeated them.

"She's got him. Get down onto the shore. I'm going to go find someone to get a doctor. Go to your brother."

Al blinked stupidly at her for a second, before he glanced in the direction of the river bank and there, beneath the light of the street lamps, two heads of wet blonde hair. He was moving before he knew what he was seeing, but his mind caught up as he reached Edward and Winry, and he dropped to his knees in the mud as he watched in horror as Winry performed chest compressions on his brother. Reaching out, Al took Edward's flesh hand in his own and blinded back the tears. His brother's skin was cold to touch and Al couldn't help but shiver.

The minutes dragged as Winry continued with CPR and Al was helpless but to sit and hold his brother's hand, his thumb brushing over cold knuckles as he quietly begged Edward to open his eyes; to wake up and be okay. He needed his brother and he was terrified that Edward wouldn't pull through this. His hands were shaking as they held onto Edward's flesh one, tears blurring his vision and a headache forming at the front of his head as he watched his brother's face for any sign of life.

If he hadn't been watching so closely he would have missed the second that Ed regained consciousness, but he was watching and so he noticed the flicker behind Edward's eyes and Al reached out to stop Winry just as Ed started coughing up water. Helping him onto his side to hack up the water that he had taken in, Al wrapped an arm around Winry who slumped against him, exhausted from reviving Ed and stroked comforting circles across Ed's back until he stopped coughing.

When Edward moved to sit up, Winry and Al both moved to support him, and Al forced himself to not hit his stupid brother. Edward looked dazed, and was shivering, but he was here and he was alive and the relief that flooded through Al threatened to choke him as he threw his arms around Ed and sobbed into his shoulder, still holding his brother up as Winry hugged into him too. The three of them sat there for a long time, holding each other as they all cried and Al knew that he would have bruises from Edward's automail grip on him, but he didn't care. He was alive and that was all that mattered.

"Alphonse?" Edward whispered eventually. "Winry?"

"Yeah. Its us Edward, we're here." Winry replied, holding onto Edward tighter as she spoke through her tears. Al pulled back a little, just enough that he could meet his brother's eyes and his heart broke at the sorrow and guilt that he saw there.

"What the hell were you thinking!?" Al heard himself shout, and he regretted it the moment Ed flinched away, turning his gaze out towards the river.

"I don't know. I'm sorry, Al." Edward mumbled, his voice cracking with sorrow as he gasped in a breath, shivering. "I just can't stand it. I needed it all to stop. I needed everything to just stop hurting."

"You idiot!" Al said softly, tugging Edward in closer and hugging him tighter.

"I know. I'm sorry. I just... I don't know what to do. I can barely keep it together with Hal and Ethan, but now Roy is missing and Cara is gone and that's my fault and I just kept thinking about that, was she at peace now? Did it help her? I can't keep seeing him, I can't pretend that its okay."

"Ethan? What's he got to do with this? I thought things were fine with you both now?" Winry asked, sitting back a little so she could meet Ed's eyes; Al did the same thing, but he kept Ed's trembling hand in his own. Edward was silhouetted by the headlights of the car that had pulled up behind him, and he jumped a little when Chris spoke, not having heard her approach.

"Is he the one that gave you those bruises?" She asked him, and Al felt bile rise in his throat. Of course he was. The way he'd found his brother, it wasn't just some random attack, of course it wasn't. Edward didn't reply, but he did look away guiltily and tug his collar up a little to hid the marks on his neck. He was trembling still and Al wanted to help, he wanted to kill Ethan for what he'd done but Winry's words gave him a reason to push that thought aside.

"Enough. Edward needs to get checked by a doctor. Everything else can wait."

Roy's torment had continued with the bitter cold and silence. He hadn't been given the right to his senses back and the inability to see was the worst, bringing memories of the Promised Day flooding back to him. He'd lost his vision then, and it had been what felt like months without it when he'd finally gotten it back, but at least then he had his other senses. He was able to cope, would have been able to survive and taught himself how to adjust. It was amazing what the human body could adapt to. Edward was a great example of that.

He had been just a child when he'd lost two limbs, and Roy had been told of his stubborn lover and how Edward had pushed through his recovery until he was vomiting blood, and even that didn't stop or slow him down. Edward took everyone's expectations and tore them up, burning them to ash in front of them. Roy admired that, he wished he could be that strong, but he knew that he wasn't and he was going mad without his sight. He needed to see, he needed to be able to look after himself, his team, Edward.

Roy choked back a sob at the thought of Edward. They had barely begun, there was so much that waited for them, and now he didn't know if he'd ever see Ed again. He'd left for a mission, with no way of contacting him for days. Would Edward know that he was gone? How long had it been now? How long had he been kept in this prison, waiting for his next torture? Without sight, or hearing, Roy had no concept of time. He had been showered and left to stand in the cold as the water trickled down him four times now. Was that days? Or weeks? He had no idea. He had been force fed meals, but it was irregular, and there was no real pattern to it so Roy couldn't use that to track the days he was losing. They hadn't attacked him, hadn't tried to get information out of him.

Nobody had told him anything about Riza, which meant that he had no idea if his Captain and oldest friend was dead or not. Surely not? She couldn't be. Roy didn't think that he would be able to keep going if he lost Riza too. Whenever he was dragged out of his cell to be washed, the voices would shout at him in Drachman. He couldn't remember the last time he'd heard his native language in any voice other than his own and he was beginning to think that he might never hear it again.

He had only seen his cell, not even given the right to see the room where he was showered and he felt himself slowly losing memory of how people looked, he couldn't remember what shade of amber Edward's eyes were, or the particular colour of red from the flowers in his back garden. On a rare occasion they would remove the blindfold and the dulled light would blind him, leaving him whimpering and cowering away in an attempt to hide from the burning brightness.

It was at these times that he'd gotten glimpses of his naked body, of the bruises that littered his skin from the manhandling; of the way his ribs were too obvious now with weight loss. He could see the ashen colour of his already pale skin and he knew then that he was going to die. He was going to die in this cold, damp cell, starved and malnourished, stripped of his senses and his clothes and left to sit in his one filth and urine for days or weeks at a time. He was going to die never hearing Amestrian words again, he was going to die hearing the harsh barks of Drachman soldiers and he was never going to see Edward or his aunt or his team again.

These thoughts had haunted him, danced around his mind, mocking him with their cruelty and dodging out of the way whenever he tried to rid himself of them, laughing. Evenutally, Roy had stopped trying to fight the thoughts and the moment that he did, everything seemed to become more peaceful. He accepted that he would die here, had started to long for it really. When he was dead then he wouldn't have to suffer any more. Maybe there was an afterlife and Hughes was waiting for him, a stiff drink in his hand, eager to torment him forever more about his love for Edward.

That was nice, he liked that thought. He missed Hughes so much that it left him gasping during the nights. He'd never fully dealt with that death, and while each day he stumbled through eased the ache a little, it was still there in his gut, rotting away at his insides until he wasn't able to keep pushing it down again. He kept pushing himself forward, working towards changing this country into something that didn't kill its own citizens just for the sake of it. He was pushing to repay his sins, but he was tired now; so tired. It sounded nice to just lie down and go to meet Hughes. He could have a drink and catch up with his best friend. He would laugh about how he never did get himself a wife, but he did have a blissful week with Edward and that was better than he deserved. So much better.

God, he loved Edward so much that the thought of leaving him left a sharp agony in his chest and Roy sobbed, tears slipping down his cheeks at the thought of never seeing that perfect head of blonde hair again. He wanted to hug himself, to wrap his arms around his chest and squeeze until he got some kind of comfort but his hands were tied behind his back. They had lost sensation hours again, and were dead to him now, hanging limply and occasionally shooting sharp, needle-like pain up through his arm into his shoulder.

He wanted to go home and cry into Edward's neck.

He wanted to die.

He needed this all to end.


	29. Part 2: Chapter 7

The walls felt like they were suffocating him and he hated being here, trapped in this white room with that damn machine buzzing away in the background. If one more person came into this room and asked him the same stupid questions then he was going to break their faces. He didn't have time for this! The antiseptic scent clung to the walls and the bed and it burned in the back of his nose until it was all he could smell and it was all he could taste and he really did hate hospitals. When the door opened again, Edward turned to look at it with a growl. The doctor that entered was an older man, his white hair slicked back, Alphonse came in behind the doctor and offered Ed a smile that just made Edward frown more. Something was going on, he could see it in the worry of Al's eyes.

"Mister Elric." The doctor greeted, and Ed glared at the man before turning to Al.

"Why the hell am I still in here, Al? Its been three days!"

Al moved around the doctor, coming closer to Ed and when he reached out to take Edward's hand, he didn't have the ability to pull away. It was still a strange sensation, one that still brought the sting of tears to his eyes. Edward didn't think he'd ever be able to fully appreciate the miracle that was his baby brother in the flesh.

"They are just being safe, Brother!" Al said, giving Edward's hand a squeeze and Ed just scowled at the doctor instead.

"You attempted to commit suicide, Mister Elric. I would be failing in my duty of care to you if I did not look deeper into this issue. Your mental health has to be assessed and monitored and only then will..."

"I had a minor lapse in judgement." Ed argued, slicing his hand through the air to cut the doctor off. When Edward glared at the older man, he heard Al give a tired sigh, and the doctor just raised an eyebrow at him.

"A minor lapse in judgement that meant you threw yourself off a bridge, Mister Elric?" The doctor scoffed, picking up the chart at the bottom of Ed's bed and flicking through the pages even as Al tried to silently calm his brother down. The doctor's tone had lit the match to his temper, and Edward wanted to smack the arrogant son of a bitch.

"I'm not suicidal!" Edward shouted it, glaring at the doctor and shrugging off Al's comforting hand. "I fucked up, okay? I made a mistake, but I'm fine. I'm here and I'm not going to do it again. So just go do your damn job and get me the hell out of this dump. I have stuff that I need to do!"

"I am doing my job. My job is to ensure that you..."

"Shut up." Edward snapped, interrupting the doctor again, turning to look at Al instead. "Get me out of here, Al. I don't have time to be locked up in some stupid hospital. I need to go North and you know it!" Sitting around here was just making him agitated and restless and he needed out. He needed to get some fresh air and he needed to find Roy. Alphonse held his gaze for a while before he sighed and nodded slightly. That made Edward grin wickedly. Nobody was able to stand up to both the Elric brothers and Edward knew that he would be discharged by the doctor within the next few hours.

He had been right, and when they had left together, Al told him that Winry had been pulling all nighters to make him winter automail for going up to Briggs with, but he was suspiciously quiet whenever Edward asked if they would be staying with the Madame while he was away. It made an uneasy weight settle in his gut, he hated it when Alphonse avoided the subject like that, and he knew that he'd have another battle on his hands before he was able to head out after Roy and the team. Ed knew his brother, and if Al was avoiding telling him where they would be staying, Edward knew that his brother was planning on coming North with him.

Edward waited until Al had let them both into the apartment before he turned to give his brother a very pointed stare, blocking his path and crossing his arms over his chest. "Al, what are you planning?"

To his credit, Al did look guilty at being caught out, and Edward knew that his brother would have done anything to avoid outright lying to him, but he still wasn't happy with the outcome. He was about to make that very obvious when he heard footsteps approaching him from the kitchen. When he turned to meet Winry's eyes, Al slipped past him and Edward snarled quietly to himself, turning on them both.

"No way!" He snapped, shaking his head, glaring between them. "You are not coming with me. Either of you! Its not safe, Alphonse. We've discussed this."

"No!" Al snapped, his normally soft voice loud enough that it stunned Ed into silence. "Stop it Brother! You discussed it, you told us what we were to do. You told Madame Christmas that she was to look after us, but that's not up to you. If it wasn't for me today, you'd still be locked up in that hospital for trying to kill yourself so if you think for a second that I will let you travel North with some death wish without us there then I'll kick your ass myself!"

"Besides, you'll need to take me along in case something goes wrong with your automail." Winry added, offering Ed a small smile, that was only a fraction smug. It still pissed him off, but he knew before he'd even stepped through the doors that he'd lost this fight. Sighing, Edward just nodded at them both, and was rewarded with victorious grins from them. "Perfect. Now that that is settled, go wash up for dinner. Its almost ready. Al phoned to tell me that you were getting out today so I made some of Granny's stew for you."

That did make Edward smile, as he let Al drag him away to wash up for dinner. They drove him mad, this strange little family that he had gotten himself, but he loved them both so much that it hurt at times. He really needed to start letting them both in, and while he didn't want them going North with him, a part of him was happy about it. At least then he wouldn't need to leave them at risk, what with Ethan roaming around trying to make his life hell. This way at least Ed knew that they would be safe.

Edward wanted to get moving straight away. He wanted to get on the first train North and would have barely paused to pack a bag if he had gotten his own way. As it was though, he was forced to wait another day and he was restless and only just had control over his temper by the time they had gotten the train. Al had talked him down from running straight back out the door, forcing him to sit and eat dinner and then running him a bath with far too many bubbles and pouting until Ed gave in and did as he was asked.

While his baby brother was using his powers for evil, Winry had been finishing up on his new Briggs approved automail and the attachment of that had successfully drained the last of his energy and fight as the sharp flare of agony screamed along his body. He'd fallen into a restless sleep after that, and had slept until morning so by the time he'd woken up, Alphonse and Winry had finished the last of what they needed and where happy to leave almost from the minute that Edward rolled out of his bed. Alphonse had gotten train tickets while Ed had stood with Winry, twitchy with his need to be on the move, to be heading somewhere. The thought of being stuck on the train was making him feel ill, he needed to run, he felt the restless urge in his legs; the logical part of his brain shut those urges down though, he couldn't run to Briggs from Central. He just needed to sit it out, and he would be there soon enough. If anything, he needed to appreciate the relative warmth of Central before he was plunged into snow and ice and the bitter cold of the North.

A hand on his shoulder pulled him from his thoughts and Edward turned to look at his brother, an instant spike of panic in his gut. What if they couldn't get tickets? What if he had to stay here in this damned city for longer? The thoughts vanished when he saw the tickets in Al's hand, and Edward silently cursed himself for his anxiety. What had gotten into him? Edward took the offered tickets from his brother and was able to find them a relatively empty carriage without too much difficulty. After helping Alphonse put the bags in the overhead compartment above their seats, Edward slid into one of the seats, resting his head against the window as Al and Winry sat opposite him.

The anxiety spiked again, and Edward shut his eyes to force it down, muttering something about taking a nap when Al asked if he was okay. His brother wouldn't buy it, Edward knew that, but Al didn't push the matter and instead he just reached out and silently took Ed's hand in his own. Al's hand was soft and warm and human in Ed's left one, and the simple touch of skin to skin was enough to soothe the jagged edges of Ed's mental state. He kept his eyes closed, focusing on the rocking of the train carriage and of the gentle circles that Al was running over his knuckles with his thumb. Edward wasn't sure when he drifted off, but he knew that with his family around him, he was safe to do so, and then soon, he'd have Roy back and he would end anyone that tried to take him away again.

They took the train as far as they could take it, and then there had been a car waiting for them. As it turns out, Winry had called ahead while Edward slept off the exhaustion of his automail replacement and Havoc had agreed to pick them up from the station, so he didn't have to try and talk his way into getting a lift to Briggs and then being attacked at the door like the last time when he and Al had come this far North before the Promised Day. Ed helped to load their bags into the car and then sat in the front, letting Al and Winry sit together in the back.

"Tell me everything, Havoc. I need to know every little detail." Ed said the moment the Lieutenant pulled the car away, an unlit cigarette behind his ear. He just nodded, as though he'd been expecting the demand. "Its just Hawkeye and Mustang that are missing? Do we think Drachma has them?"

"It wasn't a risky mission, it was supposed to be just some talks." Havoc said with a nod, sighing as he continued, "Falman went with them, but he was hit in the back of the head and has no memory of what happened from there. He woke up alone in the outpost where the meetings were, but Hawkeye and the General weren't there. It was supposed to be a simple meeting. Pretty sure the Chief would have went alone he was that confident that nothing was going to happen, but you know him. He's paranoid to a fault, and Hawkeye wasn't about to let him out of her sight.

Not that it matters at all because we have heard nothing from either of them since, and any tracks that were left by trucks were gone by the time Falman woke up and called Briggs. Damn snow is a bitch to work in, I don't know how these guys do it. We're all miserable here, and General Armstrong has all of us working on repairs around the command building when we should be looking for Mustang."

"General Armstrong is looking for them though, right?" Al asked from the back seat and Edward glanced back at his brother and Winry with a concerned frown. He knew that there was tension between the two generals, but surely not enough that Olivier Armstrong would just leave Roy to his fate? The thought pissed him off, and Edward curled his hands into fists in his lap as he turned to glare out the front window at the snowy landscape. Havoc just shrugged in reply to Al, not picking up on Edward's silent fury.

"Whatever she's doing doesn't matter now. We'll find him, we'll find both of them!" Ed snarled the words, anger over the while situation burning in his chest. "We have to, and I won't let anyone get in my way." Edward's words were met with nods and a silent but steady resolve. If anyone doubted if they would find Riza and Roy, then nobody spoke those doubts out loud. It wouldn't have ended well for anybody that dared to question him in that moment.

The phone let out a shrill wail that interrupted the silence in General Armstrong's office and the Ice Queen shot a cold look at the offending object even as Major Miles answered it in his usual polite and business-like manner. She tuned him out, turning her attention back to the maps that were laid out in front of her. She had gotten word that Fullmetal was on his way, one of Roy's men was away at that very moment to collect the alchemist and she knew that he would be a brat the moment that he stormed into her fort.

Olivier knew that something was going on between Mustang and Fullmetal; she was surprised, honestly. She didn't think that either were that way inclined, let alone have those feelings toward each other. As it seemed though, they did and she scolded herself for being surprised by the matter. Of course someone like Mustang wouldn't be fussy about his romantic partners. She was surprised by his sloppiness though, getting involved with a subordinate was risky, and Mustang should know better.

"Sir?" Miles' voice pierced her concentration again and she looked up at him, raising an eyebrow in query as she looked at the phone in his hand still. "You should take this."

Olivier sighed loudly but moved to take the phone regardless. "What is it?" She asked abruptly, tracing a finger over the map in front of her, not fully paying attention to the phone as she balanced it between her ear and her shoulder as she returned to looking for clues to where Mustang and his adjunct could have been taken.

"Hello? My name is Alex Crowley. I'm a doctor from Drachma." A female voice spoke softly, almost hesitant and Olivier rolled her eyes to herself. "Are you in charge of this command?"

"Obviously. What does a doctor from Drachma want with Briggs?" Olivier snapped, turning more of her attention towards the call rather than the map in front of her.

"I shouldn't be calling at all, they'll kill me if they find out." The woman's voice was quiet and fast; she was no doubt nervously checking her surroundings. "They brought a woman to me, but she needs a hospital. She has been stabbed, and is malnourished. I fear that her injury is infected and she'll die without the proper help. She is a solider, but they never gave me a name. A Captain in your military if I understand correctly."

"A blonde woman? Was she with a man with dark hair? Where are they?" Olivier snapped, just as she heard a crash from the outer office. She hastily waved Miles away to check on it as she grabbed a pen and some paper. "Tell me where they are and I'll do what I can to ensure your safety."

"We're at an old mining town. It's been abandoned for some time now I believe, but there is a large building, I want to say that it was once a prison. There was a man but I haven't seen him since they brought me the woman, I don't even know if he is alive still." As the doctor spoke, Olivier scanned the map in front of her, looking for mining towns and prisons close to Mustang's last known location. She found one, the only prison close by was just outside of an old mine. The military no doubt used the prisoners to do the dangerous mining work. It was just as she found the location on the map that the door to her inner office was thrown open and in stormed a fiery blonde, with a look that would kill painted on his face. The General met his golden eyes without flinching, glaring him down as she thanked that doctor, finishing the brief conversation before hanging up.

"The next time you dare to barge into my office like that Fullmetal I will end you, do you understand that?" She bit the words out at him, and it didn't take a genius to see the scared anger in his expression. Behind him stood his brother, the similarity striking, and a blonde girl who she vaguely recalled was his mechanic. "As the highest ranking officer of Mustang's pathetic team still cluttering up my command, I expect you to follow orders and to keep those useless dogs on a leash. Am I understood?"

"I need to find Mustang and Hawkeye, so you can shove your orders right up..."

"Brother!"

Olivier slapped her hands down onto the desk, the sound of it loud enough to startle the brothers from their bickering before it started. "I have a location for where your commander will be. You will listen to me, and you will follow my orders and ensure that your team does so also or so help me, Fullmetal, I will leave Mustang there to rot. Am I understood?"

Edward flinched visibly at her words, but he didn't speak back like she had almost expected him to. He had grown up a little since she had last saw him that was clear, but she could see the urge to argue at war within himself. After a long moment, Edward nodded, his anger seeping away from him.

"You know where he is?" Edward asked, his words so softly spoken that he could barely hear them himself. When Armstrong nodded, Edward felt like the world was pulled out from under his feet and he dropped into a chair by the desk, his hands shaking. Olivier watched him closely as his brother and friend moved to his sides, taking his hands in their own. Her office was safe, but he couldn't act like this in front of just anyone, not if they wanted to keep their relationship a secret. Olivier also noticed fading bruises on the younger man's neck and found herself disgusted at the idea that they could both be so naïve to think that was professional. Why would Mustang think that it was okay to so clearly mark Edward as his own?

"You need to get a grip of yourself." She barked, getting the attention of everyone in the room, thankful that Miles had shut the door behind him as he left. "Your feelings will get one or both of you killed. Don't be so open about them. Get it together, and go get your team. It seems that Hawkeye is in urgent need of a doctor."

"And Roy? Is he okay?" Edward asked, instantly on his feet when Olivier moved to leave the room. She sighed softly. She didn't want to tell him that she had no idea if Mustang was even alive. She didn't want Edward to have to feel that pain. Not after she knew what it felt like. She had never let her feelings get so intertwined since Buccaneer, she couldn't go through that again, and she prayed silently that Edward wouldn't have to go through it with Mustang.

"Get your team ready, Fullmetal."


	30. Part 2: Chapter 8

Edward had managed to get Alphonse and Winry to stay at Briggs while he took the team out on the mission to get Roy and Riza back from the location that General Armstrong gave him. He was fairly confident that it was her harsh words about how they would both just get in the way and slow everyone down that had made them stay behind; but Olivier was right, Winry couldn't fight so would just get in the way, and Alphonse was still too weak to be of much use to any of them in his current state. When they had begrudgingly agreed to be left behind, Edward had felt like a boulder had been lifted from his shoulders and he was able to sigh a breath of relief.

It hadn't taken him long to get the team together, and together with Mustang's team, Edward headed out towards the town that General Armstrong had told him about. She had taken a team of her own and they had went out to search a different section of the prison. They all had radios on them, tuned into the same station and each had an earpiece to help them communicate with other if need be. The comms were silent for the moment, Fuery was in charge, safe in a guard tower with two of Armstrong's men watching out for him as he made sure that they would be able to talk to the other team. Edward had Breda, Havoc and Falman with him, each moving silently through the prison hallways in search of any sign of life.

The prison was derelict, the only light was that of the sun bouncing off the snow covered landscape out of the windows. The bright white of which left the prison looking dirtier than it was as it shone against the grey bricks of the walls and the dirt and grime that covered almost every surface. Cobwebs clung to the corners of the walls and there was a chill that seeped into everything, leaving Ed shivering further into his coat. Edward led the team down corridor after corridor, checking each room without finding any signs of life.

Havoc finally stumbled upon something, just as Edward was about to give up all hope, but it didn't leave him feeling too optimistic about what lay ahead. The room that Havoc found was small and dark, only lit by the light from the hallway that came through the now open door. In the middle of the room there were chains having from the ceiling, and below that was a pool of water that was beginning to freeze over. Edward moved to the puddle, poking at it with an automail finger and cracking a thin layer of ice in two, watching as the separate sections floated away.

"What the hell is this place?" Breda asked, voicing the concern on everyone's find.

"Boss! What's that?"

Edward looked over in the direction that Havoc was pointing, pushing up onto his feet and moving to the corner of the room to pick up the shining metallic object. He knew what it was before he even turned it over in his hand. An Amestrian pocket watch. The mark of a state alchemist. It was old, scratched and worn in places, but he would know that damn watch anywhere. He had seen it so many times over the years. "Its Roy's watch." He said, so quietly that he didn't think that the team had heard him.

Wrapping his fist around the watch, Edward took a deep breath – Roy was here, he had to be. He forced himself to breathe deeply before he slipped the watch into his pocket and turned to leave the room, Roy's men following him without question. The fact that they would follow him so easily didn't sit well with him. They were trained to do that, Edward had a higher rank and because of that alone the team would follow him, but it didn't make sense to him because he had nowhere near the amount of experience that they all had. Why should they follow him?

"Edward." Armstrong's voice sounded tinny over the earpiece. He stopped and looked back at Roy's team, all of them wearing the same grim expression. "We have found Captain Hawkeye, no sign of Mustang yet."

"I've found his watch. Is the Captain okay?" Edward replied, letting out a small breath. At least Riza was safely found.

"She's weak and injured, but she assures me that she will live. Patching her through to you just now." Armstrong replied before there was some background noise.

"Edward?"

"Captain!" Ed exclaimed, letting himself smile. "Thank god you're alive. What the hell happened?"

"I'm not sure. One moment we were at the meeting, the next all hell broke loose. They got me and the General. They were all Drachman, but they refused to let us know what they wanted. They kept us together for the first day, but then took me away the second one and I haven't seen him since. They hit him with a gun twice, he'll have gotten a concussion but I have no idea if he is even alive. I'm sorry Edward. I wish I could be of more help."

Edward felt his stomach drop as Riza spoke, nodding even though she wouldn't be able to see him as he continued down the hallway, checking each and every door. Empty prison cell after empty cell greeted them. "Don't worry, Captain. We'll get him." Edward told her, hoping that he sounded more confident than he felt. He said his goodbyes and then returned his full attention to the mission. There was two doors left, but Edward was pulled aside when he went to open one; he met Havoc's grin with a raised eyebrow and a scowl.

Breda opened the door, him and Havoc darting in with guns drawn to subdue any threat, refusing to let Edward go first. They both froze, Havoc cursing under his breath and that one moment had Edward's heart stuttering. Was it Roy? Had they found him? He pushed past, hastily trying to get into the room to see what had shocked the two soldiers and he froze also when he saw it.

Roy was lying slumped on the floor, his skin was pale, too pale, and every inch of him was on show. Chains cemented into the wall ran down to his shackled wrists, both of which were bruised and bloody; hinting at how he'd had fought against them. The hint of ribs showed Edward that he hadn't eaten well since he was missing, and the bruising around his chest boiled the anger that Edward felt rising in his stomach. There was a blindfold over his face, blocking out his commander's vision and a heavy looking set of headphones. Whoever had done this had starved Roy of his senses.

"Go find clothes, blankets, something!" Edward demanded to his team, his anger getting the better of him for a moment. He waved a dismissive hand towards the door. "Something I can transmute into an outfit for him."

Edward moved towards Roy slowly, cautious that the older man would probably freak out at any touch. Kneeling in front of Roy, Edward reached out, his hand stopping just short of him, his automail steady even as his flesh and bone hand shook with his emotions. Chewing on his lip, Edward nodded to himself and then took the headphones off first, pausing for a moment as Roy flinched, his breathing hinting at the fact that he was waking up. Edward took a moment to breathe and then carefully took off Roy's blindfold, the movement fully waking Roy and the man jerked away.

The fear that sparked through those dark eyes killed Edward inside and he instinctively reached out, flesh fingers paused in the air as he stopped himself from actually touching Roy. A blanket appeared over Ed's shoulder and was delicately draped over Roy's hips, covering his legs and giving him some privacy. The moment of fear and hatred only lasted seconds, but as Edward looked into those terrified eyes, years could have passed him by.

It was only once the fear faded, slowly being replaced with questioning hope, that Edward reached out, clapping and ridding Roy of his shackles. His human wrist was caught in cold fingers and Edward let out a slightly startled gasp as his eyes met Roy's again. He offered his lover a small comforting smile, forcing himself to not collapse into those arms. He couldn't give in to his urges, not with half of Roy's team standing behind him.

"Ed?" Roy's voice was quiet, rough and desperate and it broke something inside of Edward so spectacularly that the blonde could only nod in confirmation that he was real. He felt the tears sting his eyes and he wanted nothing more than to hug Roy, but he couldn't. All he could do was try to force his feelings down and offer Roy a smile.

"It's me. We're here..." Edward started, his voice shaking with the effort of keeping himself from sobbing, but his words trailed off when Mustang pulled him closer, roughly kissing him as his hands moved to cup his face. Edward tried to fight it, he tried to pull away; he really did, but Roy was like air to him and the moment the quiet whine left his lips, Edward knew that he was done for. He collapsed against Roy, kissing him with everything he had felt over the last few weeks, giving this man every last piece of himself.

A throat was cleared behind them and it was at that noise that Roy pulled away a little; enough to keep their mouths apart, but not too far. He rested his forehead against Ed's and let out a sigh that made Edward choke back his sob. Tears slipped down both his cheeks as Roy pulled his head away to look at the team behind Ed, but he pulled Edward closer, hugging him to his bare chest and the blonde didn't try to fight it any more. He wrapped his arms around Roy, tucked his face into his lover's neck and took a deep breath to calm himself down. He couldn't start crying here. He needed to keep it together.

"Well... That wasn't quite the response we were expecting to see." Havoc mocking voice was met with an amused snort from Breda.

"Edward!" Fuery's voice came out over their comms, panic laced in every word. "We have trouble coming. I can't see who, but definitely military. You gotta get out of there!"

"Shit." Edward muttered, pulling away from Roy and wiping at his eyes to rid them of any lingering tears. He clapped, activating his alchemy and pressed his hands to Roy's thighs, focusing on the blanket that covered them. The array was simple enough to him, he'd mended his clothes often enough growing up that making the material into a pair of trousers for Roy was simple enough. The thing that made it more complicated was the warmth of Roy's thighs that radiated up to meet his hands.

Once the transmutation was done Edward stood, helping Roy unsteadily to his feet, turning to look at the team instead of letting his eyes linger on Roy's chest and all of the scars that were so new to him but looked old to Roy. "Breda, Falman, come help him." Ed ordered, moving as they came to take a side each of Roy, pulling his arms over their shoulders. "Havoc, take point. Keep them safe."

"What you gonna be doing, Boss?" Havoc asked, gun still drawn. Edward smirked, digging his hands into his pockets and pulling out two white gloves. He tossed them to Roy, who caught them easily, smiling at the blonde when he recognised them as his own.

"You brought my gloves?" Roy asked, raising an eyebrow and Ed met his gaze with a fierce grin. Roy was about to call him out on his cocky attitude when his gaze dropped to Ed's neck and the fading bruises that marked his skin. Anger was hot in his gut and he wanted to march over to the blonde and demand answers, but he barely had the strength to stand. "What the hell happened to your neck, Fullmetal?"

Edward tugged on his collar, pulling the fabric up to cover the bruises as he turned his back to the team and headed towards the door. He muttered something, but it was too quiet for them to make out. He was stopped in the doorway by a new presence. One that Roy knew all too well. Ed looked up at the man in front of him and took an unsteady step back, but none of Roy's team raised their weapons. Why would they? This man was Amestrian, wearing the blue of their military, he seemed like a friend, and Roy silently cursed his team as he tugged on his gloves.

Edward looked up at the man in front of him, fear and confusion fighting for dominance in his mind; the ongoing battle slowing his thoughts down to a stop. "Ethan..." He heard himself mumble, blinking stupidly as a hand was raised to his face. Edward's brain caught up with him before the fingers could actually touch him and he jerked away, but he didn't get far because his left wrist was caught in Ethan's hand. "What the hell...?"

"I didn't want for it to end like this, love." Ethan said, laughter in his voice as he pulled Ed to him, forcefully kissing him. The younger blonde pulled away, shoving his hands against Ethan's chest to put more distance between them as his stomach tightened in disgust. "Don't fight me. You want this, Edward. You're beautiful, golden; like a star. A golden star!"

Edward froze in Ethan's hold, his body tensing as memories came flooding back at those words, at that pet name. Memories of Hal, of the torture in the basement. He could feel the sting of the whip against his back as it tore his flesh open. He could feel the warmth of the blood running down his body, sticky at the backs of his thighs. He could smell the whiskey on the breath by his ear as a weight settled on his chest. He could hear the moans as Hal entered him, painfully forcing his way inside of Ed. He could taste the salt in his tears as he shook his head, fighting and struggling; begging for it to stop.

Edward heard the snap of fingers, heard the pained scream as Hal – no, Ethan – let go of him. He felt his feet stumble away from the heat of flames, his shredded back hitting something so suddenly that he spun around and almost lost his balance, his eyes frantically searching for a way out, for a weapon, for some where to hide. An arm wrapped around his back, pulling him closer and a voice whispered to him. A gentle voice that kept telling him that he was okay, that he was safe. The voice belonged to a body, the one that he buried his face into. A body with the scent of home clinging to it.

"Its Roy, you're safe Ed." The voice cooed to him, a hand curling gently around the back of his head, holding him close as the screams died down to pained whimpering. "I've got you, Edward. Nothing will hurt you. Come back to me, Fullmetal."

Reality broke when Edward did, and the memories faded, leaving him clinging to Roy as he sobbed, shaking and terrified. The dank cell surrounded him again, Roy held him, stroking his hair and comforted him. Ethan whimpered on the ground behind him, as Falman and Breda pulled him to his feet. Havoc had his gun drawn, aimed at the man even as he turned to Ed and Roy.

"What should we do with him, General?"

"We'll take him in for questioning. See what he knows about this place." Roy said, his left hand still brushing its fingers through Ed's hair soothingly. Edward had managed to mostly pull himself together – his sobs easing off into occasional hiccups - and took that moment to pull his face out of Roy's chest to look back at Ethan. The fear stabbed at him, somehow – and he had no idea how – Ethan had known Hal. He knew that if he called Ed by that pet name that he would fall apart. Edward curled his hand into a fist at Roy's back, and felt the older man's eyes on him, but neither of them spoke.

"Do what you want! I won't talk and the Fuhrer will order you to step down, dog!" Hal laughed, his eyes ever leaving Edward's. "Hide behind Mustang if you want whore, it'll be all the more fun to bring him down into the dirt with you! You are nothing, Elric. Nothing but a cock loving slut. What will Mustang give you that Hal didn't? Huh? Do you think he cares? Don't be so fucking stupid, Elric. All that he cares about is fucking you until you're bloody and broken, just like Hal did. Its what you want isn't it? Isn't it?!"

"Get him out of here!" Mustang shouted the order, and Edward flinched a little beside him. Roy's team wasted no time in dragging Ethan from the roof, who continued to laugh and scream abuse but Edward tried to ignore him as Roy encouraged him to meet his gaze. "Try not to let his words get to you, Ed." Mustang spoke softly, and Edward let his commander hold him in the silence of the cell for a moment or two longer.

"Roy, I'm so sorry." Ed mumbled the words into Roy's bare chest, and he regretted it the moment the words were out because he could feel Roy moving back a step.

"What for? Edward, you have nothing to apologise for. We've been over this. Nothing that monster done to you was your fault. You're brilliant, Ed. You are beautiful, and smart, and caring. You're such a huge pain in my ass that I wouldn't even know what to do without you. I love you, Edward Elric, so trust me when I say that you have nothing to be sorry for."

Roy kissed him then, and it wasn't like their most recent kiss. It was more. More loving, more fierce. More passionate and more careful. It was everything and it was nothing. It was the oxygen in his lungs and the carbon in his hair. It was the pulsing blood in his veins and the electrical currents in his brain. It was life. It was just more.

When Roy moved away, his lips wet from Edward's kiss, he smiled down at the blonde, brushing a rough thumb over swollen lips. "I will do anything I can to make sure that you are never hurt again, Edward."

"I love you too, Bastard." Edward muttered, his blush so hot against his face that he knew that Roy would be able to see it regardless of how dimly lit the cell was. "And damn right I'm huge."

The laughter that met his ears was enough. It was enough to soothe the broken edges of his mental state. It was enough to ease the panicked beating of his heart and the twisting in his stomach. It was enough to let him know that maybe everything could be okay. The kiss that met his lips was just a bonus as Roy pulled him close, his hug just strong enough that it left Edward a little breathless, but that was okay. Roy did have a habit of leaving Ed a little breathless after all.


	31. Part 2: Chapter 9

Edward disappeared from the crowd almost the moment that they all made it back to Briggs, slipping off without being noticed. Roy and Riza were both back safe, and while Riza had been taken straight to a hospital in North City, Roy had been very adamant that he was fine to just be seen by the medic in Briggs. Roy was having a catch up with his team, taking in their reports and sharing information with General Armstrong's team. Ed knew that he should stick around, and a huge part of him didn't want to let Roy out of his sight but he needed away. He needed space to think and to just be alone. Roy was safe, Hawkeye was safe. That was all that mattered for the moment.

Edward slipped into his dorm room, one that General Armstrong had given him to use while he was staying in Briggs. One that he would normally have shared with Al, but his baby brother was sharing with Winry now. A little part of him hurt at that, at how fast things had changed, but he knew that he was just being silly. Al was an adult and they had spent all of their childhood living in each other's shadows, but things had to change at some point, right? Why not now?

Ed flopped down next to the bed, sitting with his back to it and leaning his head back against the softness of the mattress as his thoughts raced through his mind. Al wasn't abandoning him, he was just moving on with his life, and if Edward was honest with himself then he was grateful that it was at least with Winry. They had all known each other for so long now, for their whole lives. Ed knew that Winry would look after Al. They were good for each other, and along with how damn happy Al was whenever he so much as looked at Winry it was enough for Ed.

It was maybe for the best too, now he got his own space, his own dorm room to fall apart in. Tucking his knees up against his chest, Edward hugged them close, dropping his head onto his arms as he struggled to not scream. Thoughts that he would be better dead flooded into his mind and he shook his head fiercely in some sad attempt to rid the toxic ideas from his brain. They stayed though. It made sense if he thought about it. Al was happy with Winry, they had each other and all Ed seemed to do was get in the way and cause problems. Al was so pure, so damn good, that he would always come running to help Ed out, to fix what he broke and clean up the mess that he caused. It wasn't right though. Al should stay with Winry and leave Ed to sort out his own shit. Al shouldn't have to spend his life picking up after the mistakes his brother made.

A knock on the door jolted him from his misery and he jumped to his feet, adrenaline pulsing through his veins as he stared at the offending object. Fight or flight was never a contest for him, it was always fight and he was so on edge lately that the most simple of things set his reactions off. His hands were in fists at his sides as he moved silently over to the door, jumping at the second knock. He didn't want to open it. If he was silent enough then maybe whoever it was would go away. A dull thud sounded through the door and Ed leaned up to look through the peep hole but he couldn't see anyone. Which meant that whoever it was had chosen to lean against the door.

"Ed? Its me, open up." The familiar voice called out to him through the door. "I know that you're in there."

Sighing, and taking a moment to let his anxiety settle, Edward opened the door. He barely had time to fully open the door before Roy had pushed his way into the room, shutting the door behind him and pulling Ed into his body. Roy leant against the door, tugging Ed close and kissing him hard. Roy kissed him like it was the last thing he would ever do. Roy kissed him until Edward couldn't feel his knees, until his head was spinning with the need to breathe. It was too sudden when Roy pulled away again, but he kept Edward close, a hand slipping into his hair at the base of his skull and tugging him into a tight embrace.

Edward relaxed in Roy's arms, winding his own mismatched ones behind his commander's back as he buried his nose into Roy's neck. His scent was mixed with the metallic scent of blood that clung to his skin, but it was still him beneath it all and Edward needed that more than he wanted to admit to anyone. Roy seemed to sense that need because he tightened his hold around Edward and the blonde did his best to curl closer to Roy, needing to feel his body against his own. Needing the reminder that he was here and he was safe.

"How are you holding up, love?" Roy asked quietly, moving away so he could no doubt look for any hint of a lie on Edward's face – who, for his part, was just happy he managed to not let out a pathetic whine at the loss of contact between them. Roy didn't move far, his eyes trailing over Ed's body, taking all of him in.

"I'm fine." Edward answered, too fast and too forced. He was sure the pitch of his voice was too high and he knew that he sounded too urgent but he didn't want to think about himself. He didn't know if he could look Roy in the eyes and tell him about how he'd been.

"Your brother told me, Ed." Roy murmured, "What the hell were you thinking throwing yourself in that damn river?"

Edward flinched, unable to meet Roy's eyes and stepped back, out of reach and shook his head. He turned around, moving closer to the bed. Of course Al would tell Roy. He knew that his brother would just be looking out for him, but Roy didn't need that extra stress right now. He'd have found out sooner or later. Chris would have told him, or he would have noticed the payment request from his salary. He would have found out so why did Al have to tell him now?

"Al's a brat." Was all Ed replied with. It was all he could reply with.

"He's worried about you." Roy said sharply, and Ed forced himself to not wince at the tone, but kept his back to Roy. "Did you think about him when you pulled that stunt? Did you even stop to consider how he'd feel when they pulled your body out of the water? Did you consider how he'd feel in the potential months it could have taken to find you if the river washed you away? Do you know what that would have been like for him, or for Winry?"

"Shut up!" Edward shouted, spinning on his heel to glare at Roy. "They have each other! They don't need me. I love my brother more than anything so don't you dare try to imply that I didn't think of him, that I didn't consider him! He'd be better off in the long run, they both would! All I do is cause more messes for them to clean up."

"So that makes it okay?" Roy shouted back at him, and Edward looked away from him with a scowl. "Do you want your brother to remember you like that? He'd have been called in to ID your bloated and blackened body. Do you want that to be how he remembers you? That's if they ever found your body, Ed! What if they didn't? Do you have any idea what it was like for any of us in the months that you were missing? Do you know how hard it was to force ourselves out of bed, to live out our lives as though there was nothing wrong?"

Edward turned his back to Roy now, tears stinging in his eyes. He didn't want to hear this, he just wanted to be alone. He didn't want to hear Roy shout at him, telling him what a shitty person he was. He pressed both hands to his eyes, shaking his head a little.

"It was hell, Edward!" Roy snapped, storming over and snatching Ed's arm, spinning him so that they were facing each other again and Edward glanced up at his lover, saw a flash of agony that was like a punch to the face and then glanced away, unable to meet Roy's eyes if he wanted to have any control over the tears that threatened to fall. "I can't talk for Al, or for Winry. I can only imagine what they felt. Me? I couldn't breathe without you. The guilt, knowing that I'd spent you on that mission, that it was my fault that you were even there. Knowing the things that happen in human trafficking and knowing that you were suffering because of me. I found the nightmares waking me through the night and I would pray that they killed you outright in stead of needing to suffer like that."

"Stop it." Ed muttered, swallowing down the lump in his throat.

"I obsessed over you, Edward. Every flash of blonde hair that wasn't you felt like a sucker punch. Every phone call, wishing I'd hear your voice and dreading it at the same time – terrified you'd call just to say goodbye, that I'd be too late. I barely slept, I couldn't eat. Everything tasted like grit knowing that you were gone. I fought with everything I had to get you back. I betrayed my alchemy – again – and tortured the fucker that dared to take you until I found out where he'd sold you. I would have killed everyone in my way to get you home to us safely. So you could, what, toss yourself into a river when things got a bit hard?"

"Roy, please..." Edward barely heard his own words, tears pouring down his face with no control of his own. He covered his face with his hands, shaking his head as the sob tore its way out of his body, loud and undignified. Strong arms encircled him again and he collapsed into Roy, snaking his arms around Roy's back, his fists gripping the uniform jacket he was wearing. When his knees gave out, Roy held him up, guided him to the bed and sat down on the mattress, tugging Edward into his lap as the blonde wailed.

A hand was in his hair, twirling strands of the short length around his fingers, Roy's spare hand rubbing up and down Ed's flesh arm as he held him close to his chest. Roy was silent for a long time, letting Edward cry and murmuring nonsense to soothe him, kissing his temple or his cheek or the crown of his head as he continued to play with Ed's hair and gently stroke his arm. "I'm sorry." Ed whined, gasping between his sobbing. "I'm so sorry. God, Roy, I'm such an idiot. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Hush." Roy cooed, leaning down to kiss Edward's lips. "Its okay. I've got you. I'm right here, Edward and I love you. I can't stand the thought of losing you because I love you so damn much Fullmetal."

Roy shifted their positions, kicking off his shoes and then taking Ed's off before moving them both to lie down on the bed. The bed itself wasn't big, barely a double and not nearly enough room for two grown men to lie in, but that didn't seem to bother Roy in the slightest as he lay down, tugging Ed down with him. The blonde curled up against Roy, half lying on him, his head tucked into Roy's neck and a hand over his chest, feeling the beat of his heart as Roy encircled an arm around Edward, kissing his forehead and whispering gentle words to him as Edward slipped into a dreamless sleep.

Roy woke up slowly, confusion fogging his mind. What was the warm weight surrounding him? Another person? Why did he have someone tucked in at his side, curling around him protectively while he was in this cell? And he was on a bed – which wasn't as soft as his own, but it was better than being chained up and left on the cold, hard ground in his Drachman chamber. Slowly bits of his memory seeped back into his mind. Ed had found him, his team was there. They'd all gotten back safely to Briggs, Riza was being seen by doctors in North City, and Ed was with him again.

Opening his eyes, Roy looked down at the blonde head that rested next to his, slowly and carefully rolling onto his side so he could watch Edward sleep without disturbing him. Edward looked so peaceful while he slept and Roy reached out to lightly brush a lock of hair away from the younger man's face with a fond smile. While Ed suited his hair long, he was stunningly attractive with it chopped short like it was, and behind the pain he felt for Ed's reasoning for cutting it all off, Roy found himself darkly amused that Edward thought that without his long hair that he would be any less attractive. Dark lashes fanned out over strong cheekbones, the skin tanned despite summer becoming a distant memory. A strong jaw and a mouth that Roy knew from experience could do wonderful things – as well as piss him off so much he could hear his own blood pounding through his veins.

Roy's gaze wandered down from Ed's sleeping face, his eyes lingering on the fading bruises on Ed's neck and he frowned. They were pale, almost gone from memory, but it was obvious what they were and Roy felt sick at the thought. He and Ed hadn't fully committed to each other, not in so many words at least, but Roy knew this man sleeping next to him. He had watched Ed grow and know how fiercely loyal he was. He knew that Edward wouldn't cheat, and it was that firm belief in his lover that made Roy so sure that those marks on Ed's neck weren't there by any choice of his own.

"Watching me sleep is really distracting, Bastard." Ed mumbled sleepily and Roy smiled as he met those golden eyes as they slowly blinked open.

"When you're so still and silent like that how can I not appreciate you?" Roy replied snarkily, earning himself a kick in the shin that lacked any intent to cause harm. It more Ed tapping his flesh foot against Roy's leg as he tutted, a healthy pink blush flaring up across his cheeks.

"Shut up." Ed muttered, snuggling in closer and leaning in to kiss Roy. The kiss was chaste, and Roy smiled against Ed's lips, pulling him in to a tighter embrace. It was only when Ed was pressed fully against him that he could feel the blonde's morning arousal and instantly his own spiked at the feeling of Edward's hardness against his thigh. Ed's blush darkened as he must have sensed Roy's thoughts, giving Roy a slight pout that only made the older man want to bite that lower lip.

"Well good morning to you too." Roy purred, smirking at the delightful way that Ed shivered against him just at his voice. Roy rolled them over, leaning over Ed as he encouraged the younger man to lie on his back, his lips moving to suck Ed's earlobe. The breathless moan the blonde let out was enough to fuel his own need and he felt his dick twitch with want. Mismatched hands worked their way up Roy's bare chest, fingers brushing over fresh and old wounds alike. The steel was cold to the touch and sent a shiver up Roy's spine that Ed just smirked at.

Roy kissed down along Ed's jaw, his tongue darting out to taste his lover's skin and Edward sighed in appreciation. It was only as Roy's mouth reached Ed's neck that he paused, frowning slightly at the fading bruises. He pulled away a little, just enough that he was able to brush his fingers along the marks and Edward tensed beneath him. "Who did this to you?" Roy asked, trying to keep the anger from his tone. He didn't believe for a second that Ed let himself be claimed like this so willingly – not by anyone that wasn't Roy anyway – and the thought that Ed was attacked again in this manner made his blood boil.

Edward pushed away, turning his face from Roy to try and hide the wince that flashed through him, but Roy caught it and cursed himself silently. Of course Ed would pick up on Roy's anger and think that it was directed to him. "I'm sorry. I..." Edward started, pausing to let out a huff of breath and the look of agony in his eyes as he stared down at his hands killed Roy slowly.

Taking both of Edward's hands into his own, Roy leaned into Ed's gaze, offering him a small and reassuring smile, before reaching up to brush a strand of hair away from the younger man's face. Edward turned his cheek into Roy's hand and smiled when Roy brushed a thumb across those gorgeous cheekbones. "Edward, I don't believe for a second that those bruises are something you willingly let happen, so don't apologise to me, okay?" Roy said, slipping his hand down to Ed's neck again. "It was Ethan, wasn't it?"

Edward just nodded slightly, refusing to meet Roy's eyes again.

Roy pulled him closer, kissing the bruises, licking Edward's skin and nipping gently with his teeth until Edward let out a breathless moan. The noise vibrated through Ed's throat to Roy's mouth and instantly he wanted to strip the blonde naked there and then. A sudden thought struck Roy in that moment and he tugged Ed closer, rolling them both over so that Edward was on top and kissed up his neck to his lips to whisper, "I love you, Edward."

"Bastard." Edward moaned the word, thrusting his boxer covered hips into Roy's – making it very obvious how much they wanted each other. Roy wasted no time in slipping his hand between them, dipping his fingers into the waistband of Edward's boxers and smirking at the shiver that he was rewarded with. When Edward didn't move to stop him, Roy pushed his hand in further, palming at Ed's erection, thumbing over the precum leaking out and smearing it down Edward's shaft.

Their mouths crashed together and Roy wrapped his hand around Ed, letting the blonde thrust into him, swallowing his moans as he picked up his pace. Roy wanted to treasure this man, he wanted to make their sex last for hours. He wanted to take Edward in every way that he could, he wanted to feel Ed inside of him. He needed to hear those delicious moans, sounds that were enough to make Roy rock hard just at the thought of. He needed to make Edward scream as they fucked, he needed the whispered words as they pushed each other into bliss.

Flipping them over again Roy kissed down Ed's body, his hand never failing in tormenting his lover. He paused long enough to slip Edward's boxer's off and then without any warning took all of his length into his mouth, smirking around Ed's dick as the other man gasped, metal hand digging into the covers as his flesh one clenched in Roy's hair. "Fuck! Roy, oh god."

Roy slipped a hand into his own pants, slicking his fingers with his own leaking fluid as he swallowed Edward down, teasing him with expert skill. Once his hand was coated in his own precum he slid his finger to Ed's entrance, slowly working him open. Making eye contact with the blonde beneath him was almost his undoing and Edward jerked his hips up into Roy, forcing his cock further down his commander's throat. Roy took that moment to push a finger inside of Edward slowly, watching as the blonde writhed and bit down on his bottom lip, forcing himself to be as quiet as he could.

Roy thrust his finger into Edward slowly, curling the digit to reach that one spot, even as he continued to suck and pump his hand down Edward's length. The moment he hit that spot Edward shuddered, gasping and biting into his lip hard enough that he drew a bead of blood as he came hard. Warmth hit the back of Roy's throat as Edward lost control. He kept sucking at Edward, kept his finger inside him until the wave of bliss was well and truly over and even then he was reluctant to stop. Letting Edward's cock slip out of his mouth with a wet pop, Roy kept slowly fingering Edward's ass, smirking as the blonde squirmed, moaning softly even through his clenched jaw.

"You're so fucking beautiful, Edward."

Ed managed to meet Roy's eyes, letting out a breathless laugh as he tugged his lover up the bed, forcing him to remove his finger as Edward smashed their lips together, pulling Roy close enough it was almost like he was trying to force their bodies to become one. "Didn't know that you knew how to swear, Mustang. Its pretty fucking hot when you do."

It was Roy's turn to laugh then, a sound that was lost to Edward's kiss. He loved this brilliant man; loved him so much that it hurt sometimes, and Roy knew that would do everything in his power to make sure that Edward was never hurt again. He would do anything that Edward asked of him, without hesitation or question. It was in that moment that Roy was fully aware of how well and truly screwed he was.


	32. Part 2: Chapter 10

"If you look at me one more time with that guilty look in your eyes, then I will shoot you where you stand, Sir." Hawkeye informed Roy sternly from where she lay in the hospital bed. She looked thinner than he last remembered, even though it had only been a few weeks and she was paler than he liked. Lying against the white sheets, she looked frail and he knew that it was because of him that she was like this. If she hadn't been there trying to protect him then she wouldn't have been injured. If he'd taken his whole team then none of this would have happened, but he hadn't taken his whole team and now his Captain lay in a hospital looking so fragile that it killed him.

"Riza, I'm so..."

"If you tell me that you're sorry I will also shoot you, Roy. You can't blame yourself for this. I will be fine." She told him, reaching out to take his hand into her own and giving it a squeeze. "You're not the one that stabbed me, Roy. You couldn't stop what happened."

"I may as well have been the one to do it. You were there because of me, Captain, and that makes this my fault."

"I knew the risks when I chose to follow you, and I don't regret them for one moment. So stop feeling sorry for yourself, Sir. Havoc told me about about happened when they found you. Roy, what happened? What did they do to you?" Hawkeye asked, watching as her oldest friend ran his fingers through his raven hair, not failing to notice the bruises that littered his torn wrists.

"I'm fine, Captain. What's a little bit of torture to a soldier?" Roy replied dryly, sighing when he saw the worried look that she was giving him. "I've been through worse."

Riza nodded, looking away from him and down at the hand that she still held. She had promised to protect him and she'd failed, but she couldn't let herself wallow in that failure; not after just telling Roy off for it. He was right, he had been through worse and the important thing was that he was still here with them all. "How is Edward? Jean mentioned that he had an episode when Ethan came in."

Roy growled at that, pushing his chair back with a loud scrape as he stood, fisting his hands at his side. Riza remained silent, watching as her superior was filled with anger so fierce that she hadn't seen it since his hunt for Hughes' killer. Roy paced to the hospital window, looking out into the snow covered landscape beyond. It was a long moment before he replied to her, but she knew that would eventually so she just watched his back until he managed to win control back from his rage.

"Edward's neck is littered with bruises that Ethan gave him, so naturally Ed didn't respond well to his presence out there, but Ethan said something. He called Ed a golden star and it triggered something in Ed, I haven't tackled that particular issue yet with him so I don't know why that caused him to act how he did. Seeing him like that killed me, Captain."

"He's safe now, Roy, but you know as well as I do that it will take time for him to recover from everything that has happened to him. He's been through a lot lately." She said to the back of Roy's head, frowning when she heard him sigh.

"I know, but if anything he is getting worse. Alphonse had told me that Ed threw himself off a bridge while we were gone. I need to try and talk him into seeing someone about what happened to him. I don't want to risk him doing something like that again. They only reason that he's okay is that they saw him do it. Winry dove in after him and dragged him out." Roy turned around then, crossing his arms over his torso and leaning back against the wall by the window.

"I have a bad feeling about all of this, Hawkeye. Ethan seemed to believe that the Fuhrer would protect him, and he knew of that bastard Hal by name."

"You think the Fuhrer knows about this? That's he's behind it all?" Riza asked, sitting up straighter. "That's a serious alligation to make, Sir. I'd watch who you share that with for the moment, and where you say it. At least until we get proof. After everything with Bradley, I don't think your career would hold up if you remove another Fuhrer from power."

Roy knew that she was right, but he needed to do something about it. If the Fuhrer was behind this, if he was allowing his men to be sold into slavery then he needed to do something about it. He couldn't sit back and let this slid, not when he saw its affects on Edward so clearly. Not after everything that Edward had been through. He nodded at her regardless.

"Then I suggest you get better soon and work towards getting me proof. I will make them pay for Edward's suffering."

"Yes sir!"

Riza offered him a salute and a grin nod and Roy was almost able to pretend that everything was fine; that he was just discussing politics with her, but things weren't so simple. Things were a mess, and even just the movement of lifting her arm to salute him clearly hurt because Roy watched the flinch she gave, and the flash of pain behind those eyes. He frowned at her, and she just stared back at him stubbornly, refusing to lower her arm until he acknowledged her gesture regardless of her own discomfort. With a sigh, Roy nodded and Riza slowly dropped her arm.

A knock at the door interrupted them and they both turned to it when it was pushed open a little, allowing a head of golden hair to poke through. Edward grinned when he saw them both and fully stepped into the hospital room, shutting the door behind him. "I wondered where you were hiding, Bastard." He muttered, moving closer and offering Riza a small smile. "How are you holding up, Captain?"

Roy watched them talk, not really paying attention to what they were saying. His eyes roamed over Edward's body, his gaze lingering at the yellow bruises around his neck, before his eyes flicked back to Riza, to where he knew her wound was stitched in her side. He was going to kill Ethan for this. Somehow, Roy would find out how he was involved in all of this and he would burn him for hurting the two most important people in his life like this. He would not stand for it.

A hand waved in front of his face, pulling him back to reality where Edward stood in front of him, frowning. Riza met his eyes over Ed's shoulders and Roy sighed inwardly at her smug look. If he didn't know better, he would say that she could read every thought that was going through his mind. She wouldn't approve of his murderous intent; nor would Ed. They were both better people that he could ever hope to be.

"I don't think I've ever seen you think so hard." Edward said, smirking at Roy like the brat that he was. When Roy glared him, Ed just laughed, and Roy knew that all hope was lost. He'd do anything to hear that laugh for the rest of his days. "I'll be heading back to Central soon. I don't want Al missing any more of school and he's being stubborn and refusing to go without me."

"An Elric being stubborn? That's unheard of." Roy muttered sarcastically, only receiving a smack on the arm from his lover. "Guess Alphonse takes after his brother."

"Shut up, bastard. Anyway, before I found you in here I had a few words with the Captain's doctor, and while she wasn't thrilled to be speaking to me, she did agree to transfer the Captain to someone in Central. She said that as long as you take it easy, Hawkeye, then the stitches should keep your injury safe. You'll be given pain meds and antibiotics to take for the infection but as long as you take them then she couldn't come up with a reason to keep you here."

Roy watched as Riza smiled slightly, nodding at Ed's words and he couldn't help but share a knowing smile with her. They could both guess why the doctor wasn't thrilled to speak to Edward Elric. He was a tough person to cope with when it came to hospitals and apparently he was difficult even if he wasn't the patient. Roy couldn't say that he was surprised; he had been dealing with Edward's bad moods since he recruited a strong-willed child into the ranks of the army, and while Edward was more mature now in his adulthood, he had by no means gotten easier to handle.

"The doc did say that she would need a superior officer to sign some paperwork to allow her to discharge you though Captain." Ed added, a cruel twinkle in his eyes as he grinned at Roy.

The older of the two men sighed, glaring at his lover before he looked over at Riza in the bed. "Hospitalised in a different city and you're still giving me stuff to sign, Captain? I'm starting to think that this is all just one awful dream."

Edward's laugh as the blonde slipped out of the room was enough to take the bite out of Roy's words though, and he had to stop himself from following automatically. Now was not the time to drag his subordinate into an empty room to put that glorious mouth to less savoury tasks than talking. His team knew of his building relationships with Fullmetal, as did Olivier, but Roy couldn't risk the brass finding out, and that meant he had to still keep things on a short leash.

Edward would never ever – regardless of his travels or how long he decided to settle in one place. No, regardless of that, he would never forget how uncomfortable trains were to ride in for long journeys. Opposite him Al sat with his adorable blonde head pressed to the window, snoring softly as he slept. Winry lay in his lap and Al's fingers were loosely carded in her hair from where he was stroking it before he fell asleep too. It was possibly the most unbearably cute thing either of them had done, and for as long as Ed could remember they had been cute together – except of course when Winry was hitting him with her tools, or when Al was being a brat just because he knew that Ed would let him away with it. Al knew that Edward couldn't deny him a damn thing.

Edward wished he could sleep, but every time he tried the train rattled in a way that jerked something – be it his neck, or his shoulder; hell it had been his hip last time, and his ass was really starting to hurt. How had he spent most of his childhood doing this? How much time had he actually spent on these damned machines anyway? Sighing, Edward rubbed his face, turning to look out of the window at the passing landscape. He'd been grateful to see the last of the snow as they headed south of North city. Central would still be cold, but at least it wouldn't be covered in all that white bullshit like Briggs was.

Movement at his side jerked him back to reality as someone sat next to him and he spun around so hard that he just knew that his neck would be in agony later on. His pulse hammered in his throat, fight or flight well and truly kicking in, only to disappear in the next moment when his eyes met Roy's. The whole thing was a roller coaster, and Edward felt a little sick from the ride.

"Sorry, love." Roy said softly, his hand reaching out to take Ed's. "I didn't mean to startle you."

Edward smiled as Roy tugged him closer. The joys of him being a General was that he was able to get a private car, which meant that Roy and Ed didn't have to hide how much they needed to be close to each other. Tucking himself under Roy's arm, Edward pressed his body as close to Roy's as he possibly could. Pressing his ear to Roy's chest; just to hear the pounding of his heart was enough to calm any racing nerves. Roy was okay and that was all that mattered in that moment. All of the problems to come were pushed from his mind and he took a few quiet moments to relax in the arms of the man that he loved. With Roys arms around him he was able to face anything.

"I'm never letting you out of my sight again, bastard." Edward mumbled into Roy's neck, scowling when he felt his commander's soft chuckle. Roy's fingers dragged through blonde hair, and it felt so good that Edward almost purred.

"I doubt it will be that easy. Don't get me wrong, if I had my way I'd be taking you straight back to mine and neither of us would be leaving the bed for at least a week." Roy replied, his voice husky and quiet, but loud enough for just Edward to hear. The words themselves sending a jolt of pleasure through him and he had to chew on his lip to stop himself from letting out a needy moan at the images Roy's words gave him. The bastard knew exactly what he was doing too, because he just smirked at Edward before he continued as if he hadn't just caused a lust fuelled stroke in his young lover.

"I have a feeling that there is going to be a lot of issues to try and get fixed when we get back to central. I will need to get Hawkeye to see a doctor at once, but I also have no doubt that someone will try to get Ethan freed from my custody. Especially if my suspicions are correct."

"Then sign me back up to work." Ed demanded, pulling away enough to look Roy in the eyes. "I can help. I need to help, Roy. I know that I'm all kinds of fucked up right now, but locking me up at home isn't helping me. I don't run away from a problem, I need to face this head on. Besides, I need to make sure that that bastard rots for the part he played in what happened to you."

Edward frowned even as he was still speaking, because before he'd even finished Roy was already shaking his head. "Edward, love, I'm not letting you near him. I saw what happened in that place. I saw how one comment from him sent you spiralling."

"Its different!" Edward snapped, louder than he intended. He froze when Al stirred, but his baby brother didn't wake up so Edward continued, quieter this time. "He took me by surprise. I knew he was a bastard but I didn't know that he knew... I didn't know that he had ties to Hal..."

Ed trailed off, frowning and silently cursing the way his heart raced in fear just saying that name. His tongue felt heavy and thick in his mouth, too thick, and his words died even as he reached out to grab them. He didn't want to react like that, he wanted to stomp up to Ethan in his military issued boots and he wanted to punch the man so hard that his own fist would hurt afterwards. He wanted to make Ethan pay for everything that happened, but the thought that Ethan was a part of the torment he suffered, that he was involved in the slavery; of Simon and Cara and their pain; their suffering and their deaths. Ed knew that he needed to be the one to make Ethan pay for everything. He hadn't been able to save Simon. He couldn't be there to help Cara recover and he'd cost them both their lives because he was so wrapped up in himself.

Roy's hand slipped into Edward's and the guilt stabbed at him as he looked up into those darks eyes. Ethan had hurt Roy. He'd been a part of it all. He'd gotten Roy taken, had messed with his mind; Riza had been hurt because of it all. Someone had to pay and Edward needed to be the one to make them pay. He needed to stop this all. If he was the one to stop all the pain and to make those involved pay for their crimes then he himself could move on from his whole ordeal.

"Edward, love." Roy's voice was soft, and Edward pushed the thoughts back to focus on the man beside him. "I just need you to get better, okay? I just need you to get back to normal. I can handle the fallout from this, I have a good team behind me. I just need you to be there for me to come home to. I need you in one piece."

"You'll have me. Of course you'll have me. I love you, Roy Mustang, and nothing will keep me from your side."

Edward meant it, and Roy knew that. There was no need to force the issue, or to push it further. But Edward also knew that their was no point in letting Roy know that he'd be back in the office the moment the rest of the team was. He'd been off long enough. Yes, he wasn't coping as best as he possibly could, but with Hawkeye injured and unable to keep an eye on Roy, Edward knew that he needed to be there. Whoever was behind this whole thing wanted one or both of them out of the picture, it only made sense to stay close to each other because of that.

Edward ignored the thoughts, leaning into Roy again when the older man smiled at him. The touch of their lips was so soft that it was barely a kiss, but Roy pulled Edward onto his lap, and the blonde went happily. They sat like that for a while, and when Alphonse finally woke up, he woke to see Roy sitting with a book propped open in one hand and a blonde head tucked into his neck, curled into his chest as Edward slept soundly.


	33. Part 2: Chapter 11

The last thing that Roy Mustang expected to see when he walked into the office on Monday morning was the shock of golden hair tied into a high ponytail as the uniformed owner leaned over Havoc's shoulder, pointing to something in a report. He stood in the doorway, his emotions at seeing Edward in work warring with themselves, but the blonde was too focused on what he was explaining to Havoc to even acknowledge that Roy had come in. It was Fuery that looked up and noticed the General first and when he greeted him with a meek hello, it got the attention of the rest of the room. Roy nodded a greeting to them all, but when Edward stood up straight and looked at him, Roy refused to look away from the challenging look in the younger Alchemist's eyes.

"Morning, Gentlemen." Roy said, moving towards his inner office, "Fullmetal, a word when you are done."

With that Roy let himself into his own private office, closing the door over a little before walking over to his desk. He pressed his hands down onto the solid wooden surface to ground himself as he glared at the grain lines. What the hell was Edward thinking? He hadn't approved of this. He hadn't allowed this to happen. He'd specifically told Edward to stay off, so what the hell was he doing here in that damn uniform? The sound of the door closing behind him sent the anger pooling into his stomach but he didn't turn to face Ed.

"Can we not do this, Roy? I don't want to start of this week with a screaming match with you." Edward said from somewhere behind Roy.

"Go home, Edward."

The sigh from the door caused another shot of anger to slash through him and Roy curled his hands into fists against the desk. Edward was acting like Roy was the one being a stubborn brat. He turned to the blonde then, glaring across the room at those golden eyes which glared back at him. Edward strode forward, challenging in his steps and it made Roy stand straighter by instinct. The defiant glare that he got made him want to smack the look right off of the blonde's face, all while kissing him to make it better and the shocking contrast of those urges left Roy feeling dizzy, so instead of saying anything else he watched as his lover folded his arms across his chest.

"You're being ridiculous, Mustang. You need me here. We have talked about this!"

"Yes, we talked about it! And we decided that you were staying off until you were better. You can't work if you aren't well Edward, and having you here unwell is going to cause more problems than it solves. Go home to your brother, I can't believe that he even let you come back."

"Al isn't the boss of me! Fucking hell, I'm the older brother!" Edward snapped, unfolding his arms to use one to cut through the air. "Besides, we didn't decide shit. You decided that I was too broken to be here and I decided that you were full of shit. Without me or Hawkeye here you are unprotected, Mustang and while she's in the hospital you can damn well get used to me being here!"

Roy growled, how could one man get under his skin so much? He slapped his hand down onto the desk, ignoring the flinch that the noise drew from his younger lover as he stormed around the other side of it to stand next to his chair and look out at the bleak sky of another sad day in central. "I have a whole team of men out there, Edward! I think that we are pretty safe here, in central command. I don't need babysat."

"That's stupid on so many levels that I don't even know where to start telling you how wrong you are." Edward snarled in response, and Roy shot him a cold look over one shoulder.

"Oh? Do enlighten me to the danger that I might be in then, Fullmetal."

Edward flinched at the cold tone that Roy used for his title, something sad whimpering and cowering away in his chest, but he pushed it aside. He'd wallow on that later, but for now he was pissed. "For one," Edward started, raising a hand to count out his points on metal fingers. "If that's fucking safe then why shouldn't I be here? Second: it was military that took and hurt both of us. Three: It was central command that was overrun by soulless dolls because the leader was trying to kill everyone, or have you forgotten?"

"That was years ago, Fullmetal."

"Doesn't mean that this fucking system cares about you, Mustang!" Ed shouted back, finally snapping. He couldn't keep his temper in check if Roy was going to be so awkward about it all. He stormed over to Mustang's desk, but the man ignored him and his outburst and it just annoyed him further. "You need someone watching your back and I'm fucking useless stuck in the apartment with my brother and friend tiptoeing around me like I'm something fragile and precious.

"Go home Fullmetal! That is an order. I don't need you here."

"You're not my fucking boss, Mustang!" Edward shouted, punching the desk hard with a metal fist. "Stop being so stubborn about this. I'm staying so you'll just need to just need to get used to it."

"Last time I checked, I am you're fucking boss!" Roy shouted back, spinning on his heel to glare at the blonde across the desk from him. He caught the wince the Ed couldn't stop and he hated himself for shouting at his lover like this. He hated the whole damn situation. He saw the hurt that flashed behind golden eyes and he watched as the fight left Edward as the younger man glanced away from Roy. Edward hated rank, he hated it being used against him; Roy knew this and he still did it. "Fullmetal..."

Roy's words trailed off into a stunned silence as he watched Ed pick up a document that lay on the desk, forcefully shoving it at Roy before he turned a cold glare at him. "Sign this then and you won't have to put up with me. I won't have to be the Flame Alchemist's lapdog and you can stop being such a bastard if I'm not here."

"Edward...?"

"Oh, so now I have a name, do I Mustang? The fear of losing an asset scare you that much, Roy?" Edward snapped, turning away and moving to the door. Roy moved around his desk, calling his name out even as the blonde disappeared and slammed the door behind him. The force of it shook the walls and Roy glanced down at the document in his hands; a transfer request. The thought of losing Ed from the team was so awful that Roy felt himself gasp, but the thought of losing Ed in general was like a punch to the gut. The spark of alchemy caught his attention and Roy looked back up towards the door as the tell-tale blue faded from beneath the door.

"Edward?" Roy darted forward, instantly worried that Ed was in trouble but when he reached the door he found it to be sealed shut and he snarled quietly to himself. Oh yes, Edward was definitely in trouble.

Ed sealed the door shut, trapping Mustang in his office for a bit. He knew that Mustang would figure a way out sooner or later, even if it meant that he would burn his own office door down, but the spiteful brat in him was smug for a moment for trapping the bastard in there. He kicked his desk chair as he stormed past it, ignoring the worried glances from his friends. They tried to talk to him, tried asking what happened and if he was okay, but he ignored them all and left, slamming that door shut on his way out for good measure. He might be an adult now, but the slam of a door always made him feel a little better. He was going to go for a walk, clear his head, and then go back to the office. He might just go back to punch his lover and wipe that fucking smug look off his face, he might just go back and make sure that Mustang was locked in his office until they got to go home.

It wasn't long until Edward found himself heading towards the roof. Maybe fresh air would make him feel better; it certainly couldn't do any more damage. He pushed open the door – which only screeched a small protest – and stepped out into the wind, turning his face up to look up at the grey skies above the country. It was going to rain, and a part of him wanted it to. The rain always seemed to come when he felt like this, and it would serve Mustang right if it was to rain; but the bastard would be useless if it did rain and Edward didn't want someone to decide to try and finish off the job they'd started.

With his thoughts circling back to Roy, Edward felt the tears sting at his eyes and he pressed his back to the door and slid down to sit on the ground; pulling his knees up close to his chest. Pressing a hand to his eyes, Edward tried to push away the panic away. He couldn't lose Roy, not when he had just got him. But the way that Roy spoke to him hurt, it hurt so fucking much that Edward couldn't breathe around the pain that danced in his chest. The scream that he let out felt like it tore his throat open, and Edward curled into himself tighter and just let himself cry.

He lost track of how long he sat there for, but at some point the sky opened above him, pouring its own anguish down on him as he cried into his knees. He didn't notice the door to the roof open or shut, so when a hand pressed against his shoulder he jumped so much that he was on his feet, hands clapped and alchemy sparking along his fingers before his brain caught up to him. He had his attacked pinned to the wall, automail arm turned into a deadly sharp blade that was pressed against the man's throat.

The raven haired man just slowly raised his hands in surrender.

"Roy?" Edward muttered to himself slowly, but his mind finally decided to catch up and Edward stumbled back as if touching the older man burnt him, quickly clapping and turning his arm back to normal with a mumbled sorry as he looked away at the rain soaked ground. "You shouldn't be out here. You're useless in the rain."

It was a petty comment, Edward knew that, but his heart was hurting and when he was hurting he had a horrible habit of lashing out at people. Roy didn't take the bait though, instead he just took a step closer to Ed.

"You locked me in my office." Roy said slowly, and Edward scowled in response. "The guys found it hilarious. I'm sure that Havoc and Breda will not be letting me live that down for a while yet."

"Sorry."

Roy stopped in front of Edward, reaching out to cup the blonde's face. "No you're not." He said softly, making Ed look up at him. "Edward, love, I'm sorry. That got out of hand. I'm just worried about you."

"And I'm not worried about you?" Edward snapped, smacking Roy's hand away but Roy just caught his wrist in his hand instead and held him in the one spot.

"Edward, I'm sorry. That's not what I'm saying." Roy said, brushing a stray strand of wet hair away from Edward's face as he tugged him closer for a kiss. It was slow and gentle, and Edward kissed him back with everything he had, pouring all his love and fear into the one action in the hopes that it would clear his mind of the doubts torturing him. "I love you, Edward. I can't imagine a world without you in it, and knowing that you are in danger just being here terrifies me. I have never been so scared, but its wrong of me to try and tie you down."

"What if I ask real nicely?" Edward murmured as he stole another kiss, swallowing down Roy's laugh as the dark haired man tugged him closer to wrap him up in a wet hug as the rain soaked through their military uniforms. "I love you too."

"Love me enough to fix my office door?" Roy asked sheepishly, pressing a gentle kiss to Ed's temple, causing the blonde to smile as he tucked himself back under Roy's arm for another embrace. "I'm sorry that I made you cry, Ed, and if you really want to leave my command, I'll sign the papers."

"I don't want to leave you or the team, Roy. But I want to be with you without all this sneaking around. I want everyone to know that we belong to each other, and that can't happen while I'm still in your command." Edward said softly, his fingers reaching up to pluck at the gold trim of Roy's uniform. The thought of leaving the team that he'd known for so long scared him, it had been such a huge part of his life, he'd spent so long with these people that the concept of not being with them scared him, but he couldn't keep hiding his feelings from Roy, and he was not going to be the thing that got between Roy and his goals.

Roy pulled back a little, taking Ed's hand into his own and bringing it up to his mouth to kiss along each knuckle. "I understand that, and I don't want to lose you. If this is really what you want, I'll sign the papers to have you transferred."

"We'll worry about it later, when Hawkeye is back to watch you. Lets get back to the office for now though. You're useless in the rain." Ed smirked as he spoke, and Roy took an over-exaggerated step back, his hand going to rest over his heart. Edward laughed and moved closer, tugging the man in to his chest to kiss him roughly, teeth nipping at his bottom lip and drawing a moan from the older man. Edward grinned at the noise and pulled away, laughing when Roy pouted and muttered about him being a tease, before he headed back into the building. Roy took his hand, gave it a quick squeeze and then dropped it as they ended the hallways of central command.

The walk back to the office didn't take long and the team were good enough to not laugh or comment on the state of their soaking appearances, but that was more because they knew better. Roy moved into his office, no doubt to light the fire to try and chase away the chill clinging to their damp uniforms and skin while Ed got to work fixing the mess of the door. Roy had indeed burnt it down, which didn't leave Edward much to work with in the way of material to fix it with, but he was able to take his own desk and use the wood from that to make a new door for Roy. They would need to get Ed a new desk, but in the meantime he could use Hawkeye's while she was in the hospital.

It was a few hours later, when Roy and Ed were both in the General's inner office, curled up on the cough together in front of the fire that they were interrupted. Roy had a report in one hand, the other running its fingers through Edward's hair as the blonde lay along his lap reading through a document on alchemy. Havoc knocked before entering, pausing with a frown when he saw them on the couch.

"You know that the brass would have your head's if they saw you both like that." Havoc said, laughing slightly at the raised eyebrow that Roy shot him.

"I'm aware. I'm also aware that if any of them were to come to see me that I would know about it in enough time to not be caught in such a position." Roy said, smiling at Edward as the blonde crawled off his lap before he turned his attention back to Havoc. "What is it, lieutenant?"

"I think I've found out how we can get Ethan to talk." Havoc replied, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he grinned and handed a manilla folder out to them. Roy didn't have time to take it, because Edward darted off his knee in a blur of gold and silver so he waited for his lover to read the document, instead choosing to watch as the emotions displayed themselves across Ed's face. Concentration into confusion; his brow furrowing slightly before he grinned wide enough to show teeth and Roy had known both the Elrics long enough to know that when either of them got that look in their eyes then he was about to have a lot more paperwork than he was happy with needing to deal with. Roy stood, moving over to Edward and Havoc and put his hand out for the folder, meeting Edward's almost manic look with a quirked eyebrow.

"May I?"


	34. Part 2: Chapter 12

"I don't understand why he's still locked up. If you think that Hakuro is involved in all of this then wouldn't he have just sent an order for Ethan to be released?" Edward asked as Roy led him through the empty halls on their way to the cells that were holding Ethan.

"No. There's too much evidence against him. Hakuro will likely leave him here to take the fall for his failures, and if the past few interviews with Ethan are anything to go by, he is more than happy to be punished for his crimes without taking the Fuhrer down with him." Riza said from where she was walking a little behind Roy. Ed glanced back at her, and then up to Roy who just shrugged in reply to his look. "Ethan has been questioned, and this whole time has never once implied that the Fuhrer has had anything to do with any of this."

"What's his story been? What is his reasoning for kidnapping Mustang?" Ed asked her, looking away from Roy again to the woman behind them. She had only just returned to work, on the promise of doing nothing more strenuous than desk work. She hadn't broken that promise, and everyone in the office had been on their best behaviour – no doubt in order to ensure that she didn't do more damage to her wounds when she shot them.

"You." Roy answered for her, and Edward stumbled to a halt suddenly.

"What?"

Roy stopped and looked back at Edward with a small smile. "He's saying that its all been because of you. That he's in love with you, that you were together and that I came along and stole you from him. Apparently you were both happy together but then I got in the way and he felt himself losing your love. It drove him into a jealous rage and when he heard that I was sent North he just knew that he needed to get me out of the picture. If I disappeared and died on the job then you would have no choice but to go back to him, seeking forgiveness and comfort."

"You're joking." Edward said, eyes wide as his gaze darted between Roy and Riza and back again. "That's bullshit! You know that I wasn't with him. We were never together! Tell me that you're joking?"

"I wish I was." Roy said, shaking his head even as he reached out to cup Edward's face. The thumb that rubbed his cheekbone caused Ed to blush and bat the offending hand away. At least Roy didn't seem to be buying into the story being fed to him. "Come on, let's go."

The rest of the walk was done in silence, with Edward too busy scowling as his brain processed the most recent conversation. Ethan was painting himself out to be a jealous, betrayed boyfriend. If that was the story that gets out then Ethan will have people sympathising with him, and that was something that Edward couldn't let happen. After everything, the threats on Al and Winry and sexual assaults were bad enough, but after what Ethan did to Roy, Edward couldn't let that monster receive any kind of sympathy from the public.

Edward just prayed that their idea would get the bastard to confess and spill some kind of information about the Fuhrer to get him out of office. Ed didn't know what Hakuro's problem with Roy was – no doubt he was just scared for his job; Roy didn't make any effort to hide the fact that he was after it after all, but he wasn't about to let anyone else hurt the man he loved.

The cells were nicer than Edward ever thought that they would be. It wasn't dingy and dark like he expected, instead each was well lit and while they weren't exactly spacious there was a lot more room to them than Edward thought that there would be. Each one had a bed – instead of a hard cot – with extra blankets to chase anyway the chill of night. There was a desk in each too, which was where Ethan was sat when Roy led him down to the cells to see their prisoner. For a long moment, the other man didn't look up when Roy and Ed stepped into the holding area – Riza standing by at the door outside. It wasn't that he didn't know that they were there, it was clear that Ethan was just ignoring them and that just pissed Ed off more.

He moved to the bars separating them with a low growl. "So I hear that you attacked Roy in a jealous rage because he was stealing me away from you? That's bullshit and you know it, Ethan!"

Ethan finally looked up from where he was flicking through a novel at the desk, smirking at Edward. He slowly marked his place and then closed the book, laying it down on the desk tenderly. Ed took a step back from the bars when Ethan stood up, and the other solider just grinned at the movement. "I was losing you to him, my love." Ethan spoke softly, his gaze never leaving Ed's. To an outsider it could have been a soft look, but Edward knew better, he saw the cruelty in those eyes. "You're not subtle, Edward. I can see how you look at him, I can see how he looks back at you. You'd come back to me smelling like him, smelling of sex. What was I meant to do?!" He screamed the question, charging at the bars and rattling them as he gripped them; Edward darted back a few more steps, staying out of arm's reach and glaring at the prisoner.

"I never came to you, Ethan!" Edward snapped, fisting his hands at his sides. "I was never yours. You forced everything, you threatened the people I love, you tortured and attacked Hawkeye and Mustang! Why?"

"Because I loved you! It was driving me crazy seeing the pull that he has to you!" Ethan shouted, laughing manically. "The woman was just in the way."

Edward felt a hand on his shoulder at that and glanced up at Roy who was glaring at the prisoner. Ethan talking about his messed up apparent love for Edward was clearly bothering Roy, but to say that Hawkeye could have been killed purely because she was 'in the way' was taking it too far and Edward knew that Roy wouldn't stand for it. Edward slid his hand into Roy's, knowing fine well that the room would be bugged so that he couldn't comfort him with words. His touch would need to do.

"This is just going around in circles, Edward." Roy said after a moment, his gaze flicking from Ethan to Edward. "I think it's time that we bring in our guest, if you will?"

Edward paused for a moment, but then nodded. He had to resist the urge to pull the older man close and kiss the frown from his lips. With a sigh, Edward moved back to the door that they came in and opened it to gesture Hawkeye in. He stepped aside as Riza moved into the room, shooting a glare at Ethan when the man laughed.

"What will her presence do to make my story change?"

"She's not our guest." Roy told him coldly, shooting him a glare to shut him up as Edward took their guest by the arm and led her into the room, closing the door again. She was fourteen, still so innocent and sweet that it amazed Edward that she could have anything to do with the monster they had locked in that cell. She looked a lot like Ethan, her fair hair falling in waves down her back and her brown eyes widened when she saw her brother, tears threatening to spill as Edward let go of her. She ran to the cell the moment that she was released and Edward found himself conflicted at the site.

Ethan stood frozen, fear shining in his eyes as his sister ran to him, grasping his hands into hers and crying quietly. She was mumbling about how she'd been so worried about him, asking if he was okay, begging him to tell her that he hadn't done all those awful things to people that she'd been told of. Ethan's eyes moved to meet Edward's. The alchemist took that as his cue and moved to the girl, grabbing her arm a little too roughly and pulling her back from the bars. It was hard to ignore her crying; she struggled against him, fighting to get back to her brother and working herself into a frenzy.

His clap was loud in the room, the sound bouncing off the walls as the blue glow of his alchemy blinded them for a moment. When it died down, Edward reached the point of the blade on his automail but to the girl's throat and her struggling died there and then as she froze in fear; Edward never took his eyes off of Ethan though.

"You are bluffing, Elric!" Ethan shouted, his hands clenched around the bars as he glared at Edward. "Sofi, listen to me. He isn't going to hurt you. Are you, my love?"

Edward didn't move the blade from the girl's throat, he just watched as Ethan moved back from the bars, laughing. Ethan turned his back to them, pacing around his cell before he looked back at Edward, meeting his gaze with a cocky grin. "You're the hero of the people, Edward. Ever since you were a child being used by the man at your side. You've always fought for the underdog, stood up for those that couldn't stand for themselves. You wouldn't harm an innocent child, you were barely able to harm the guilty, Edward. You aren't about to harm her, are you my little star?"

Edward tensed, glaring at Ethan. Damn, he was so easy to read wasn't he? He wore his morals on his sleeve and forced them down everyone's throat. He'd made it clear that he wouldn't kill if he could help it. Ethan knew this, he knew of his morals and his stance on defending people. Of course he did, Ethan knew his mark well. Edward was pulled from his thoughts when he felt a hand move his automail blade away.

He looked up at Roy with a frown as he clapped and changed his arm back to normal, ignoring the almost silent sob that Sofi gave at his side. "What the hell do we do, Mustang? You told me that this would get him to talk!"

"I underestimated him. I thought that he'd be too panicked to think, that the threat on his sister would get him to confess." Roy said softly, reaching out to brush a stray strand of blonde back from Ed's face. "I didn't consider that he would even consider how moral you are, but everyone that knows you're name knows that you wouldn't harm someone who didn't really deserve it."

"Fools. You thought that this would work?" Ethan laughed, getting the attention of the room again and Edward glared at him, never once letting go of the girl at his side. "Edward is too moral, he cared too much. He was never going to hurt a child and that's what Sofi is. She's just an innocent kid."

"Shut up!" Edward shouted, his grip tightening on Sofi's arm to the point where she whimpered in pain.

"Edward, he's right." Roy said softly, easing Edward's hand off of Sofi's arm, ignoring the girl as she darted towards her brother the moment that she was released.

"What the hell, Mustang? You are not helping here!" Edward snapped, taking a step back from Roy and smacking his hand away. "How are we meant to get him to talk if you keep pulling shit like that? I need you to be on my side!"

"I am on your side, Edward."

"Bullshit! Don't fucking agree with him? We could have made him believe that I would hurt her. He's convinced that you have this pull on me, why couldn't we have used that? Acted like I was driven against my morals for you. That I'd do anything for you!"

"He wouldn't fall of it." Roy said, shrugging as he turned to look at Ethan and Sofi. "He knows you too well. You wouldn't go against you're morals and harm an innocent for anyone, and everyone knows that. Its what makes me love you, Edward."

Edward started at that, eyes wide as he stared at Roy's profile. The room was surely bugged, but Roy was confessing his feelings so openly? What the hell was he thinking? Ed stepped forward, so that he stood by Roy's side and frowned at him. Roy smiled at him, reaching his hand out to brush a thumb across Ed's cheek lovingly.

"I love you Edward Elric. Please forgive me."

"Forgive..? What? Roy there's nothing to forgive." Edward questioned, shaking his head before he froze. Roy was pulling on his gloves and a slow realisation was creeping up on Edward and it settled in his throat like lead. "Roy, what are you doing?"

"You're too moral. You care too much. It should have been clear that you wouldn't hurt a child." Roy said, offering Edward a small smile even as he gestured towards Riza. The woman moved silently to stand at Edward's side, and when the younger alchemist took a step closer to Roy she placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Roy..."

"But I would." Roy said, turning to Ethan. In an instant he'd grabbed Sofi, pulling her roughly from her brother and Edward watched in horror as the girl stumbled silently. "I've done awful things, I've slaughtered hundreds of innocents in Ishval. I burnt children as they slept because some General at the time ordered it. I didn't blink, I didn't question it. I was ordered to, so I did. My commander wanted that school destroyed, so I snapped my fingers and I watched as the heat of my flames shattered the glass, watched as the building blackened and sagged from my attack. I ignored the screams of those children, silenced them in a moment with my attack. I did all of that, because Bradley had ordered Ishval to be exterminated. It was wrong, but that was my order. Think of the damage that I could do if it was to defend the person I loved?"

"No! Roy stop this!" Edward snapped, pulling away from Riza and rushing to Roy's side. He could hear Sofi crying openly now, could hear Ethan shouting about he was bluffing; but none of that mattered. He couldn't let Roy do this. He couldn't watch the man that he loved kill an innocent child. Not for him, not for anyone. "We can find another way, Roy. Please you don't need to do this. She's just a kid! There's nobody ordering you to do this, we'll think of something else."

"No." Roy's voice was like a slap to the face and Edward took a step back. "I can't back down. I won't back down. Edward, this man hurt you. He forced you to do things you didn't want to do. He marked you, claimed you as his own while he had me locked up. He tortured me, almost killed my best friend and he threatened your family. He claims that it was all because of his love for you, but he knows nothing about loving you. He has no idea of the extremes I'd go to to keep you safe. He needs to pay for what he's done."

Edward was shaking his head, and he felt a hand on his arm that he just chose to ignore. "Roy please!"

"Captain, get him out of here." Roy said, turning away from Edward and shoving Sofi against the opposite wall. "He doesn't need to see this."

Riza didn't reply, she just grabbed Ed's arm and tugged him towards the door, but he resisted her. If he stayed then Roy wouldn't do this. He couldn't. Riza knew that, her arm circled his waist and she pulled him back. He tried to fight her, knew that he could have broken free if he wanted to but it would have hurt her, and he didn't want to hurt her, not while she was still healing. "Roy! Roy please don't do this!"

Edward shouted, and he struggled against Riza, careful to try and not hurt her more. Roy didn't look at him, he kept his back turned to him and he refused to acknowledge Edward's protests. The white of his glove was bright against the blue of the uniform he wore. The red stitching like blood against the blank canvas. Edward could hear Ethan's panic now, he could hear him shouting and begging but he couldn't focus on the words. All he could focus on was the back of the man that he adored. The shoulders that were squared against the weight that they carried.

The heat was intense, and the brilliant glow of the fire burned white into his vision. He heard the screams; his own, Ethan's and Sofi's. Riza pulled him out the room, slamming the door shut as he shouted for Roy to stop.


End file.
